In the end she naturally suffered from insomnia.
With her eyes open, she looked at the ceiling in the dark, and then she seemed to fall asleep, and the memory flashed by in front of her eyes. She remembered a lot, sad, and powerless.
Waking up she found the door open.
Startled, I found a person sitting on the sofa beside the bed.
When she saw who was coming, she froze.
Han Shenchuan was sitting on the sofa, wearing black home clothes, the same set as last night. I don't know if he sat there all night without taking a shower, or he only had the same set of home clothes.
He was facing her, the outline of his face was vaguely outlined, and he was silent.
The two didn't speak, they were quiet.
Then he seemed to sense that she was awake, got up and walked over, and when he bent down, the distance between the two of them suddenly became closer.
The space suddenly becomes crowded.
Xu Yizhang was stunned for a moment, his thoughts came back to his mind, he looked at that handsome face in the dark, his breath was full of his breath, there was the smell of alcohol, and there was also a faint fragrance.
"What?" she said softly.
"Dawn." Han Shen said.
Xu Yizhang looked out of the sky, didn't know what to say, and gave a soft "hmm".
"Shall we go to the movies today?"
"See a movie?"
"Yeah." He nodded, "Watching a movie."
Xu Yizhang wanted him to stay away, but he was too close, and she felt that as long as she talked, the heat would escape.
The situation was weird and ambiguous, so she stretched out her finger, touched his chest, and pushed him away, "Okay, I'll brush my teeth first."
When she was brushing her teeth, she was thinking about how to get along with her on the next journey.
Speaking of that last night, he apologized for everything that should be apologized, but made her feel like a jerk for worrying about the grief of the previous life.
People are so heartbroken, she can't just turn a blind eye and sprinkle salt on his wound, right
She even regretted taking this trip a little bit.
It was intended as a farewell, but I didn't expect to make her feel guilty.
Getting along with him was even more awkward now.
She spit out the foam in her mouth, and said to herself in the mirror, hell~ that's it, he has never been sorry to her in this life, so just get along with him and try to have a happy last time.
As for the future, she has no plans, probably there will be no more interactions after this time.
They went out in the afternoon, and Han Shen took her to a hot pot restaurant for lunch first.
He handed her the menu, and then propped his chin, quietly watching her order, "You order."
Xu Yizhang felt that the look in his eyes was very eager.
He was still apologizing yesterday, saying that he would let her go and let her pursue happiness.
Looking at her so hotly today.
It's fucking outrageous.
Is what he said true
Xu Yizhang wondered if he was hallucinating, flipped through the menu stiffly, and said, "Order what you want."
"You seem to have put on makeup today." Han Shen's attention was on her face.
Xu Yizhang said in his heart: Don't you want to make a good impression
But you can't be so frivolous, just say: "I'm in a good mood today."
"The makeup you put on to bid farewell to me?"
"...No." She replied against her will, staring at the menu, "What do you want to eat?"
"Don't you know everything?" His eyes were deep, "You know what I like and what I don't like."
Xu Yizhang choked, "Then I will order casually."
Then she ordered a few random things.
He also kept looking at her during the meal, which made Xu Yizhang very uncomfortable. She took a bite of the watermelon and said, "Can you eat your own? Don't keep staring at me."
Han Shen said a little sadly: "There will be no chance in the future."
Xu Yizhang: "..."
It's this sentence again, every time he says that, she feels embarrassed to break his heart.
In the end, she could only endure his gaze and finish the meal.
After that is watching movies.
I watched a re-release of an old movie, Good Will Hunting.
Both of them like to watch movies, and they can talk for a long time when they encounter good movies that can't be found, and of course Xu Yizhang is the one who talks most of the time.
Although Good Will Catcher is famous, Xu Yizhang is watching it for the first time.
Han Shen sat next to her, and there was no one in the cinema, probably because the popularity of old movies was not very high.
At the beginning of the film, Xu Yizhang was attracted by the picture.
Originally, she thought it was another talent discovery film.
It was finally discovered that it was a psychological film. In the film, the hero has a talent for mathematics, but because of being hurt since childhood, he closed his heart and no longer opened it.
Xu Yizhang watched, and suddenly saw his shadow in the video.
Of course she is not a problem with her original family.
but...
In her previous life, she had suffered from an unfortunate and lonely marriage, so she closed her heart. She felt that she no longer trusted in marriage and those beautiful things.
She said she didn't want to get married, because getting married would do no good and would only add 80% of the troubles in life.
But in fact, does she really need emotional sustenance
Perhaps maturity has made her wiser than before, and she understands the harshness and reality of the world better, but loneliness is inevitable.
In the film, the professor asks the hero, you have talent, but you have no experience. Even if you are smart and see everything, and maintain the perfect surface, but no one has walked into your heart, you can't feel the enthusiasm and beauty, so you close yourself like this After living a lifetime, do you really not regret and regret it
Finally, the classroom said to the hero: "It's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The male protagonist was born in an unfortunate family and was abused, not his fault, not his fault.
Xu Yizhang watched the hero cry, and she cried too, empathizing with her.
In her previous life, she was not happy, so in this life, she has to guard that "unfortunate memory" and close her heart to live this life
Maybe at that time, she also had certain problems
Because of disappointment, he closed himself off, didn't look forward to the other party, didn't care about the retaliatory choice, didn't understand... But in fact, was Han Shen in his previous life really that hateful
She instinctively felt that she needed to be quiet.
So she said to Han Shen, "I want to go back and have a rest."
"Are you okay?" Han Shen looked at her pale face with a worried expression.
Xu Yizhang shook his head.
Then they went back to the hotel. Xu Yizhang was lying on the bed, unable to calm down, so he took his mobile phone to check the science and studied it for a long time.
As the sky gradually darkened, she also poured out her inner analysis.
Thinking ignorantly, she probably had a problem with her cognition, because she recalled Han Shen in her previous life, but she couldn't find anything hateful about him.
Although he was so busy that he couldn't see each other for a month, he didn't seem to have bad habits, cheated, or sorry for her. Every day he was busy was fighting for this little family.
His fault at most was that he was a little busy? And snub her
But he seemed helpless, if he didn't fight, how could they get a better future
Xu Yizhang put down his phone and looked out the window blankly.
So it was because of the lack of gatherings, lack of communication, and several disappointments that made her outline a hateful Han Shen in her heart
She blamed Han Shen for her misfortune, so she hated him more and more, but didn't she insist on marrying him in the first place? Obviously he has said that his conditions are not suitable for marriage at the moment, and it is her wholehearted entanglement that makes their marriage fall into financial instability and dire straits...
After dissecting her self-willedness layer by layer, she finally came to a conclusion that she asked for it all on her own.
If she had listened to Han Shen and waited a year and a half before getting married, maybe they would have lived a happy life in this life.
Hell and heaven, between one thought.
"Yi Zhang." Han Shen opened the door of her room, looked at her who was out of her mind, with worried eyes, "Are you okay?"
After watching the movie just now, she has been in a state of bewilderment.
Xu Yizhang looked at him blankly for a while, and then his thoughts returned. Looking at him at this moment, it seemed that he was no longer so hideous, but instead filled her with guilt.
She said, "It's okay, what's the matter?"
"It's almost nine o'clock, and you haven't had dinner yet."
She glanced out the window and realized, "Ah, yes."
"I ordered takeaway and came out to eat."
*
A few minutes later, the two sat down at the dining table to eat.
This time Han Shen stopped looking at her all the time, maybe because he saw that her expression was wrong and he didn't want to make her unhappy.
Xu Yizhang hoped that Han Shen could say something to her.
Maybe it's guilt.
It may also be that you really want to talk to him.
Finally, when Han Shen packed up the takeaway, she was silent for a moment, and said, "Sit and chat?"
Han Shen raised his eyes to look at her.
Xu Yizhang said, "Is there any wine here?"