Shen Yan.
The last strength seems to have been exhausted on those two words, although this strength is already very light.
The voice that came out was just as soft, as soft as a murmur.
Then, Qi Jin felt Shen Yan's movements stopped. Just stop, don't let go.
The moment of silence inside the house allowed the sound of the rain to come in. Between Shen Yan's hand and his body, it was like raindrops attached to the windowpane - even if it was still, there was still a sense of being together for a long time.
Qi Jin slowed down in a trance, and just regained some strength, but still used the same two words.
"Shen Yan..."
Shen Yan maintained this posture, motionless.
He was like a culprit awaiting sentencing, his head buried on the side of Qi Jin's neck trembled slightly, he didn't say anything, he didn't make any excuses, he just subconsciously folded his arms and hugged the person in his arms tightly again.
No matter what sentence Qi Jin sentenced him, he wanted to cherish the tenderness of this moment.
But what the other party said was not the rejection he imagined. It's more of a permission than a denial.
"Don't be here," Qi Jin's fingers were lightly wrapped around his, and the slight friction between the knuckles was brought into the voice, hoarse enough to grind people's hearts, "Go to the... room."
The rain seemed to have intensified, ding ding dong pounding on the glass, and the raindrops on it no longer stayed, as if bewitched by the lights of the street lamps, suddenly flashed, leaving a long dazzling trace.
And Shen Yan's hands began to tremble.
He suppressed something, and said nothing. After a long while, the hair on the temples slowly rubbed on Qi Jin's neck.
Qi Jin felt itchy, raised her head unconsciously, and pulled down the neckline of her shirt. Shen Yan suddenly followed his movements and buried herself, quietly kissing the place inside the collar.
The emotions contained in this kiss were more complex than ever.
There is grievance, there is relief, and there is a deeper, more urgent longing. longing for time to stop—
Qi Jin instinctively closed his eyes. At this moment, every breath of his own is like fanning the flames, the flames have already taken root when Shen Yan's hand reaches into the clothes, and now it is spreading everywhere. A pair of knees bent down unsatisfactorily and had to lean back, sinking deeper and deeper into the man's embrace.
When Shen Yan was about to continue, Qi Jin gasped and stopped.
"Shen Yan," he whispered, "let go first, okay?"
If they were so reluctant to leave, they probably couldn't really go back to their room.
As Qi Jin said this, he put his thumb on Shen Yan's tiger's mouth and gently pulled it out, trying to free him up. In this way, at least they can have a place to move.
However, Shen Yan was reluctant to let go.
"No." He used a rare negative. The effects of alcohol are clearly not over yet, and he is still a little pessimistic emotionally, his voice is very low, "I won't let go... I won't let go. If you let go, you will go... Right?"
The sentence was interrupted to the end, clearly expressing the unwillingness to let go, but the hands were not as hard as before.
In the end, he was still reluctant to force Qi Jin.
Qi Jin knew that as long as he struggled—even for a moment, the man would not continue to make things difficult for him. Because Shen Yan is such a gentle person, even when he was not awake, he never lost his forbearance. The only time toughness appeared briefly in the words, and even the tone was soft.
It's just that when this person is at his worst.
Qi Jin wanted to sigh and laugh again.
"I won't go," he said, whispering reassuringly, "I won't go even if you let go."
"You said that if I don't hold tight, you're leaving." Shen Yan repeated his words in a hoarse voice.
Actually... I really care about these details like a child.
Qi Jin couldn't help laughing.
I don't know why, but this kind of childish dialogue fills up my heart, I can't tell if it's sour or sweet, I just know that the most solid part has melted, and I can let that person go—and only let it go. that person.
"If you're afraid of me leaving, I'll let you hold my hand."
He tapped twice with his finger on the back of Shen Yan's hand, and calmly surrendered the freedom of his right hand.
That was the only hand he could use. Once restrained, there was no chance or ability to escape. Shen Yan's wine is still strong, and her consciousness is still a little drowsy, unable to think deeply. But what Qi Jin pointed out was very simple, very clear, he seemed to understand it, and finally let go of his hand obediently and did as Qi Jin said.
Everything goes back to where it started. The difference is that Qi Jin did not search for the light switch again, because he no longer needs lighting.
He slowly led Shen Yan into the bedroom, closed the door, and when the door lock clicked, he admitted that his heart was beating so loudly at that moment that he even felt a slight tinnitus. These emotions will not let Shen Yan see through only when there is no light.
He remembered the layout of the bedroom very clearly, and walked to the bed step by step. Taking into account that Shen Yan's mind is not sober at the moment, his steps are very slow, and he guides the way carefully.
The room wasn't completely dark.
There was a little light coming in from the window, whether it was a street lamp or something else, Qi Jin didn't want to get into it.
The light was washed away by the rain, leaving only a vague, gray tones, making people involuntarily aware of the presence of the late autumn season. Because of this, the warm breath of this man beside him is precious.
"Come here," he said, his footsteps already in front of the bed, and he stood still lightly.
Shen Yan stood there for a while and walked over silently.
His steps along the way were not particularly steady, he would sway a little when he took two steps, Qi Jin would always call him at that time and fall over to accompany him to continue walking again - but for this last step, he had to walk by himself .
"Are you alright?" Qi Jin stared at him quietly for a moment and asked softly.
"Well." Shen Yan's voice was very low.
This vocal state will only occur in two situations, one when he is very peaceful inside, and the other when it is the complete opposite.
Comparing heart to heart, Qi Jin knew that it would not be the former now. But compared to these, he is more concerned about Shen Yan's current physical condition, because that face seems a little tired under the thin light, and although the frowning appearance is not obvious, he can guess that Shen Yan should be not very good at ordinary times. I drank so much today that I started to have a headache.
He stretched out his hand and gently stroked Shen Yan's pale face: "Are you uncomfortable... do you want to rest?"
Shen Yan shook her head and said nothing.
Qi Jin lowered her eyes and seemed to smile slightly, with a sigh in her smile. He didn't ask any more questions, just turned sideways, raised one of the pillows diagonally, and leaned against the bed.
"Lie down."
He patted the pillow with his hand and suddenly made this request to Shen Yan.
Does this mean... give yourself a break
Shen Yan blinked hard, her confused eyes fell on the face in front of her, she didn't move for a long time, but she couldn't see the meaning behind Qi Jin's smile. His forehead was still aching, and there seemed to be two thorns stuck in his temples. Every thought that flashed through made him feel pain, preventing him from thinking deeper.
He didn't know what to do for a while, and hurriedly stretched out his hands uneasy, pulled the person into his arms, and hugged him tightly.
Qi Jin was not surprised by his reaction, and laughed softly: "What's wrong?"
The man was in his arms, without any resistance, resting on his shoulders without moving, and stroking his back with his hands as if comforting, it was very warm.
Shen Yan calmed down a little, closed her eyes and said nothing, just devoted herself to maintaining the hug.
Qi Jin did not urge.
The two leaned on each other in the rustling sound of the rainy night and kept each other warm.
Raindrops replace the hands of the old wall clock, counting down the seconds drop by drop, recording this quiet moment on the glass window. When the traces of rain are connected one after another, their figures behind the glass are also integrated, and the window frame seems to become a photo frame, which freezes the picture.
He knew that many years later, he could still pull out this picture from his memory, confirming the good memories they once shared.
The memories between him and Shen Yan accumulated like a photo.
However, there will always be the first one.
"Do you remember... the night we first met?"
Qi Jin leaned on his shoulder calmly and murmured.
Shen Yan was stunned for a while, and seemed to have fallen into the thick photos in her memory, and began to look for the original one, and found it without much effort: "Remember, that was the first time you and I played against each other. ."
Qi Jin let out a faint smile and buried it under his collar, and continued to ask, "Then, do you still remember your first line at that time?"
Shen Yan didn't know why Qi Jin mentioned this, but it didn't matter, what mattered was the fact that Qi Jin was willing to stay by his side, between his arms. He closed his eyes and pondered, and because of his drunkenness, the time of his recollection was slightly longer, but it did not affect his recitation of the line: "I knew from the beginning... Everything you did was just to plot against me."
It really makes people miss it - Qi Jin secretly sighed in the bottom of his heart.
The recording that started with this line, I have listened to it privately many times, but now, the man in the recording is close at hand, and the deep and upright voice repeated these words and sentences in my ears.
All kinds of thoughts from the first acquaintance came to my mind, and inadvertently, a smile naturally flowed out.
"You know it's a trap, but jumping in by yourself doesn't mean... you're interested in me?"
His own voice changed its tone, and answered softly.
"I didn't—" Shen Yan was about to continue, but Qi Jin raised his head from his shoulders, looking at each other, his eyes seemed to signal him to pause, and at the same time shook his head with a slight smile.
"wrong."
"What's wrong?" Shen Yan looked at him blankly, her eyes confused.
"The scene is not right," Qi Jin smiled, suddenly approached, and slowly brushed his cheeks across his face, next to his hair, and whispered in his ear, "The following lines, you are lying down and saying of."
Shen Yan's eyes moved, and she seemed to understand something.
And Qi Jin laughed softly in his ear, put his palm on his chest, and pushed it calmly. Without any resistance, Shen Yan took a step back following this action and touched the edge of the bed.
"Lie down," Qi Jin said for the second time.
In fact, Shen Yan had been forcing herself to stand all the time. At this time, her head was still a little dizzy, and she should lie down.
So he didn't speak this time, lowered his eyes slightly, sat on the edge of the bed according to his words, took off his shoes, and silently lay on his back on the pillow Qi Jin had placed beforehand. The pillow has been raised by Qi Jin a little bit, so he is now in a half-recumbent position, so he can rest a little or continue to talk face-to-face with Qi Jin.
However, Qi Jin's hand suddenly pressed against his neckline, with a force that was neither too light nor too heavy, just enough to allow him to lie down on it, but not to be unable to move.
Shen Yan couldn't react in time, and let him deal with it ignorantly.
Qi Jin's hand was released from his collar, but the next moment it lightly covered his Adam's apple. The thumb traced the line there, making it move up and down, and a short single sound was involuntarily emitted from the depths of the throat. The remaining fingers were just about halfway around his neck.
That's where the arteries are, tight pulses pounding against the pulp of the fingers.
hunter, and prey.
Suddenly it felt very appropriate.
As if under some kind of incitement for a while, Qi Jin pursed her lips and leaned down gently, her knees falling on Shen Yan's sides. It was almost like sitting on top of him.
Even the posture... was almost the same as what was written in the script at that time.
The whole process only takes a few seconds.
The rain under the eaves only fell three drops, and the sound was too short and too soft to distract Shen Yan. He no longer had any extra heart to give to the rain outside the window, so he gave it all to Qi Jin.
Qi Jin didn't say a word in the dark, his expression seemed to be a little different from just now, his smile was very light, the black in his eyes suppressed the reflected light inside, and it was deeper than ever, bottomless. When he stared into those eyes, all his consciousness seemed to be evacuated, and his mind went blank.
"You lied," this sentence belonged to Qi Jin's next line, but in this situation, it seemed that this was Qi Jin himself speaking, and the person listening was himself, "Actually, you have always been Thinking of me - every second, eyes only follow me."
Shen Yan remembered the following lines.
Next, his answer should be no. With an embarrassing cover up, he said stubbornly—no, that's just your illusion.
However, facing Qi Jin's unmoving gaze, his throat was still under the control of the hand, and he felt thirsty. The words that came out were: "Yes, that's not your illusion."
Qi Jin suddenly laughed so hard that her breath was a little broken.
A finger landed on his throat and rubbed it twice. This action seemed to burn him, and he couldn't help groaning.
"Then what?" This was an off-screen word, and it was Qi Jin himself who was asking him.
"Then?" Shen Yan moved her lips and repeated blankly. He just said his thoughts truthfully. Since this line has deviated from the original track, what follows is a blank sheet of paper without a script and no prompts. He didn't know how to fill out this blank paper next.
But Qi Jin knew.
He gradually restrained his smile and looked serious. He let go of his fingers from Shen Yan's throat and touched the face, as if he was examining the most cherished object in his life, and stroked it patiently and little by little. In the end, he sank into the temples and meticulously fiddled with the dark strands of hair.
"Then..." he said, "Shen Yan, close your eyes."
Shen Yan didn't know if she understood, but she still looked at him motionless at that moment.
After a long time, the eyes blinked, and there was a small light flashing in a trance, like a star falling on the deep black sea.
When the fragments of light completely sank to the bottom of the sea, those eyes finally slowly closed.
Qi Jin took a deep breath, with a little trembling, leaned down one frame after another like a slow motion, and silently kissed the man's lips.
Dry - the first touch is this.
There was a tingling, itchy tingling on the lips that seemed to rub against each other, creating a burning pain.
In the slight dizziness, the dryness caused the illusion of thirst, and he involuntarily quenched his thirst, his thumb clasped the opponent's chin, lowered his body, bit it with a little strength, and gently sucked the opponent's lips, the tip of his tongue. If there is no place to moisten it on top.
"Well… "
The man in front of him seemed to be in pain, breathing hard, gasping for breath as if lacking oxygen.
He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn't have time to say anything.
Or maybe, from beginning to end is just an excuse to give the other party more space to go deeper. Under such an excuse, they exchanged breaths, panting, tasting, and struggling to find the taste that only belongs to each other, and fell deeply into it. The long kiss has the taste of red wine, and the sweet and astringent taste is the same, but when you taste it from the other party's mouth, it is so special, more addicting than the wine itself.
The place in the chest close to the Adam's apple seemed to explode, blocking a mass of things, unable to breathe, and the heart hit here strongly.
it's wired.
Obviously, until the moment before Shen Yan closed his eyes, Qi Jin could not hear any sound of his heart at all, as if it had stopped. At this time, the place was thumping, thumping, thumping, and came to life again, and even worsened.
Is it the same for Shen Yan? Thinking so dazedly, his lips were slightly separated from him, his right hand was already blindly groping for his neckline, and after finding it, he grabbed it tightly, trembling, and clumsily ripping off the button on his collar. The chest inside was as warm as he had imagined, rising and falling rapidly, and something was beating violently as well.
as same as him.
He was as immersed in it as he was, unable to hold back his feelings.
"Heh..." Qi Jin smiled involuntarily and continued to go down, but Shen Yan grabbed her shoulders.
"Qi Jin." Shen Yan called out hoarsely, her hands trembling, her body hadn't pulled away from the kiss just now, and her whole body felt like a high fever. He first scratched a few times on Qi Jin's shirt, and finally touched it slowly along his shoulder, tucked it into his hair, and pulled the man back into his arms.
Qi Jin seemed to be made of sand, and with such a pull, it slowly collapsed and fell into his arms without a grain.
The kiss just now was raw.
At this point, the two of them couldn't slow down. He could only take advantage of this pause, and both pressed against each other's foreheads and breathed lightly.
"Qi Jin..." Shen Yan called out his name in confusion and opened his eyes slightly.
They were so close together that it was easy for their lips to rub against each other when they made a sound. Qi Jin shuddered, her breathing became a little heavier, then she opened her eyes and saw sweat oozing from Shen Yan's forehead in the dim gray light, so she subconsciously brushed away the sweat-soaked hair for him. Gently soothe.
"Are you tired?" he asked. He didn't forget that Shen Yan was not in good health now.
"Sorry..." Shen Yan frowned and did not deny it.
Qi Jin heard the guilt in his tone, smiled silently, turned her head and kissed his cheek. Shen Yan realized something, and her hands gradually tightened.
"Close your eyes." Qi Jin coaxed in a low voice, "Don't think about anything."
The second time was not as urgent and messy as the first time. Only lingering.
The sweet taste passed from the tip of the tongue, intertwined with each other, and it was impossible to distinguish who was from whom.
Qi Jin pulled the quilt over and covered the two, wrapping a small space that only belonged to them.
The feeling of kissing another person on the lips is as light and soft as the cotton inside, and the warmth is nostalgic.
The original dry feeling has disappeared, as if they were slowly smoothed out in each other's running-in. Occasionally, there will be one or two moist sucks, accompanied by repeated deep breaths scattered in the ears.
Shen Yan lay quietly on the pillow, leaving everything under the control of the other party, and she just responded.
When the pattering rain and breathing outside the window reached the same rhythm, my heart seemed to let it go, and I fell asleep peacefully in that gentle kiss.