family.
Saying that, it's almost like a marriage proposal—
Although the person who said it didn't realize it, it didn't matter. As for myself, it is enough to silently keep this hard-won commitment in mind.
Qi Jin smiled in a trance. When the smile was not fully formed, his lips were lightly burned by Shen Yan's breath at close range, and his emotions overflowed for a while, and he stopped smiling, and he didn't even think about anything.
All I can do is close my eyes, end the last little distance between each other, until the kiss is completed.
A kiss like never before.
More natural, quieter, more like a human survival instinct.
At this moment, finding and covering Shen Yan's lips seems to have become his instinct, and after finding it, he is even more persistent. It seems to be sinking into a very deep seabed, completely relying on the breath sent by the other party to maintain breathing, and only living because of the other party in these few short seconds - after experiencing a life's funeral, continue to survive. Reason is more precious than anything.
While thinking so, let the tears flow silently and silently seep into the place where the lips were rubbing together.
Bitter and salty.
It's really... like the taste of the sea.
Xiao Hui woke up from a daze because he felt the box shaking.
When he opened his eyes, he found that another father was coming, and the hair that was standing up because of vigilance fell down softly, called out "meow", and raised the meat pad, either to say hello or to act like a spoiled child.
He tilted his head and found that another father was also watching, and his satisfaction instantly rose to the maximum after getting the attention.
"We go home."
Shen Yan said softly, not only for the small return period, but also for the big return period.
Qi Jin silently watched him pick up the cardboard box, smiled silently, handed out his hand in the dark alley, and let him lead him forward, slowly walking towards the road.
The two stopped a taxi on the side of the road. After Qi Jin sat in, she quietly watched Shen Yan get on the car with a cardboard box with a kitten in her arms, and suddenly three words appeared: "Second time."
Shen Yan was slightly startled.
Qi Jin raised the corner of his mouth slightly and asked him, "Don't you think this scene seems familiar?"
Hearing this, Shen Yan suddenly understood what the "second time" that Qi Jin was referring to was - starting from the north of the city, he personally came to Qi Jin's side to pick up this person and cat, which had happened before.
"That time... we also sat in the taxi like this, even the seat position was the same." Qi Jin murmured, with a look of nostalgia in his eyes. Because of the fact that he had cried before, his words sounded a little hoarse at the moment, but his laughter was particularly gentle, "At that time, I didn't even dare to let you hold my hand."
Hearing him say this, the taxi driver seemed to give them a quiet glance in the rearview mirror. Qi Qi didn't care.
Perhaps today's helplessness and helplessness towards the so-called "normal society" made him rebellious.
Maybe after having "died" once, he saw things more openly and more broadly, and he didn't want to hide his nostalgia for Shen Yan anymore.
I want to completely get rid of the strange eyes around me and live a frank life.
And Shen Yan's thoughts are probably the same as his, because that hand has silently held him as before. A very firm grip, without any intention of avoiding the eyes of others.
Unexpectedly, the uncle of the driver didn't have any special reaction when he saw this. After asking the destination, he stepped on the accelerator and drove out of the avenue, heading north of the city - whether he was silently contemptuous, or disapproving, or Is it something else? Qi Jin had no way of knowing that his state of mind had turned into a still lake after surviving the strong wind and waves. All the intense emotions had settled at the bottom of the lake, and only a faint light was jumping and flickering on the lake surface.
The person who brought him this light stayed by his side, held his hands, and never left.
Other than that, he doesn't care about anything.
The city center is brightly lit after dark.
The inside of the car is particularly dark, but there is a sense of isolation from the world, which can make people taste the world quietly. Qi Jin sat in the moving car and looked out, the night was like water, and those hurriedly passing lights were swimming fish, shuttled through the dark night, leaving traces of fish tails piercing the water waves through the glass.
And his fingers also traced lightly in Shen Yan's palm.
One by one, like silk cocoons, the feelings of two people are placed in the depths of the cocoon, and slowly mature inside. And he wanted to speed up the process.
"Shen Yan," Qi Jin said suddenly, "I want to take out a loan to buy a car."
This sentence came very suddenly.
Shen Yan raised her head to look at him in surprise, but the momentary confusion quickly dissipated, and she seemed to understand something. Those deep black eyes regained clarity and stared at him motionless.
Qi Jin turned back to meet his gaze, with a calm and solemn expression, and began to slowly explain her plans for the future.
"I have been working for several years. Although the salary is not high, my usual personal expenses are not large. I have never bought any luxury goods, and I still have some savings. Now you can buy a good economical car for hundreds of thousands of dollars. The down payment is about 30%, plus handling fees, insurance premiums, purchase tax, etc., it will cost about 40,000 to 50,000 yuan. I should be able to get this money... Later, I will pay in installments. With my current income level, I am a little nervous. However, living a little frugal every month will not be a problem slowly.”
Shen Yan just listened quietly.
Talking about his unoptimistic economic conditions, Qi Jin still maintained an optimistic attitude: "However, if I can be promoted smoothly, then my salary will be raised by a level accordingly, and the year-end bonus will definitely be more than now, so I can pay for the car. It won't be too exhausting."
Shen Yan kept hearing this and asked in a low voice, "Why did you suddenly think of buying a car?"
Qi Qin smiled lightly: "Didn't we talk about housing before? It turned out that if I removed the plaster and started going back to work every day, living in your place is too far away and it is inconvenient, so I will definitely have to move back to my own apartment. But ... if you have a car, you don't have to rely on public transport to commute, you save a lot of time, and this problem doesn't exist."
In the past, he overdrafted too much on someone who didn't cherish him, but ended up with this sad and ridiculous ending.
But now, he has met a lover who really cherishes him, and it is worth his feelings and actions hundreds of times more than before to firmly grasp and manage their relationship with heart.
"I want to seriously consider our future and solve the problems at hand." Qi Jin's expression was very persistent, and there was an indescribable sense of firmness between his brows. He lowered his voice and said slowly, "I... want to stay by your side, and keep you by my side."
How much Shen Yan cherished him, he would cherish it even more.
When the two of them drank together that day, Shen Yan's appearance of begging him not to go after she was drunk was still deeply etched in her mind and lingered.
Instead of comforting with words, it is better to think about how to change the status quo with practical actions.
There are countless obstacles in reality, and he may not be able to solve all problems at once, but he can break through the difficulties bit by bit. Shen Yan has given him a "home", so he naturally has to work hard to be able to "go home".
"My current apartment is on a one-year contract, which will expire at the end of the year. I have already paid the rent if I can't live there. Anyway, there is no way to return it, so it doesn't matter where I live." He took a deep breath and shook his hand slightly. Shen Yan's hand, "If... If I move out completely after the contract expires, and you are willing to accept me... Then the rent saved can be used to pay part of the car loan. In this way, we can live together forever—"
After speaking, Qi Jin lowered his head slightly, subconsciously not observing Shen Yan's expression at this time - he was a little afraid to see embarrassment or hesitation.
After a short pause, he didn't forget to give the opponent a step down.
"Of course, that's assuming you're willing to..." Officially make me part of your family.
That room was the place where Shen Yan and his grandfather lived together before, and for Shen Yan, it was more than just a place to live. Letting a person officially move in is not only an intervention in his life but also in his past, which is equivalent to treating this person as a "family", which is not an easy decision to make.
"Qi Jin," the man beside him said in a hoarse voice, calling out his name softly, as if laughing and sighing, "you should already know what my answer is... I said, let you Think of me as your family, which naturally includes the living part."
In fact, Qi Jin did know the answer.
It's just that it's a different feeling to hear the person say it in person.
"It's fine if you don't think I'm too abrupt." Qi Jin's nose was slightly sore for a while, and she still managed to laugh so as not to make herself look embarrassed.
"No, not at all." Shen Yan held his right hand tightly and smiled bitterly, "Actually, I am very happy to hear what you just said... I thought it would take a long time to really keep you here. For a long time, and the current situation does not allow it, you are in a critical period of your career, and I don't want to delay your future because of my own selfishness. However, I heard that you are seriously considering these and thinking so far... Me, Just overjoyed."
How can you be unhappy.
In the past, most of his "family" chose to leave him, or let him go. His grandfather was the first person who was willing to accept him, and now... Qi Jin is the first person who is willing to be accepted by him.
"I only worry about one thing, that is, your financial burden will be heavy." While moved, he did not forget the gap between reality and ideals. It's not that I doubt Qiqin's ability to work, it's just that it's very hard to have one person provide the car. "If I can, I want to share the loan with you."
"You've already left the 'house', of course I can't let you out of the 'car'." Qi Jin declined his kindness half-jokingly.
At this time, the uncle of the driver who had been driving silently suddenly interjected: "Young man, if you want to buy a car, I will recommend you a few local dealers with inexpensive handling fees and good service quality. In a situation like yours, it is recommended that Go buy a car that can preserve its value, drive it to and from get off work, and go out for a short trip on vacation. If it is well maintained, when the living conditions improve, if you want to replace it with a better one, it is easy to throw it away.”
Qi Jin and Shen Yan both froze for a moment.
They were not afraid that the driver would hear their conversation, but the driver took the initiative to speak up, and they didn't seem to show the slightest discriminatory attitude, which was unexpected to them.
Qi Jin has always believed that people in society look at their relationship more or less with tinted glasses.
So he returned to his senses and smiled slightly, correcting his sitting posture: "Master, compared to the problem of the car... Don't you think the two of us are strange?"
Since the other party has taken the initiative to talk to him, he might as well speak up. Reporters who usually conduct interviews instinctively come up and can't help but curiously explore the other party's mentality.
The driver's uncle smiled apologetically while driving: "I'm sorry, I've been staring at you since you got in the car. At that time, I thought you were a couple, but I didn't dare to jump to conclusions and listen to you all the way. Only now has it been confirmed that you are a couple."
little couple-
First time hearing such substantive adjectives from a complete stranger.
Qi Jin's cheeks suddenly became hot, and she couldn't help turning her face away, while Shen Yan held his hand but gently closed, her fingers firmly clasping him in her palm, as if a kind of affirmation for the other party's words.
"Oh, if you think my eyes are discriminatory, I'm so sorry." The driver apologized for the second time and kept saying, "Because I haven't seen you in reality except my daughter. Such a person... so..."
Qi Jin is a person who is good at capturing information. At this moment, he was slightly startled, and gave a short "ah".
Only then did the driver realize that he had said it unintentionally, so he patted his head and smiled helplessly: "Yes, my daughter also... Well, that's what happened. Although there are many people who don't understand this thing these days, but I It's understandable, after all, it's the same situation at home."
Qi Jin was a little stinging when the driver's remarks brought back memories of the split between himself and his family back then.
"Actually, not every parent with this kind of situation in the family understands," he whispered. The driver's uncle's daughter is really lucky, at least compared to herself.
But the driver sighed and said, "Hey, young man, let me tell you this - when my daughter confessed to our couple, I couldn't accept it either, but it took many years to figure it out slowly, and the child's mother I still don’t quite understand it, but as parents… we want our children to be happy after all.”
The previous words were fine. After these few sentences, Qi Jin couldn't hold back her emotions. She held Shen Yan's hand and trembled slightly: "My parents... don't think so."
"Young man, you really can't blame your parents for this. People who came from our era are sometimes really traditional in their thinking and can't get it right. This is the case with parents. As for those things in society, they have nothing to do with themselves. , not to mention those who only watch the fun." The driver said halfway through, and then turned the topic back to him and Shen Yan, "But to be honest, I was very emotional when I heard your conversation just now, among young people today. Even if it's a real couple of a man and a woman, there are not many people who can seriously plan the future together. It's good, let's work hard—"
Qi Jin was stunned for a while, and suddenly felt that his chest was suddenly filled, especially full.
Shen Yan, who had been listening to their conversation silently, also said at this time, "Thank you for your encouragement."
The driver laughed when he heard the words: "You're welcome, my daughter has moved out now and is with her partner. Both of them have good jobs and live well. It is precisely because there is such a child in the family, So I pay special attention to this aspect. It's fate to have a guest like you today, so I couldn't help but say a few more words."
Now that the topic was no longer sensitive, they also started chatting with the driver slowly, and the half-hour drive passed in a blink of an eye, and the taxi had already transferred to the north area of the city.
When they got off the bus, the uncle of the driver refused to charge them the fare, sent them to the door of the house in vain, and drove away by himself.
"I can't believe... I can meet such an open-minded and kind person." Qi Jin stood at the intersection of the community and watched the taxi leave, feeling a lot. This world really has a cold side, and it must also have a warm side—the helplessness that I had accumulated in my heart today was suddenly liberated temporarily, and I felt a little relaxed.
"There may be more people who can accept us than imagined." Shen Yan's words were exactly what he realized, and he had never heard of it before.
"Well, this is the first time I've confessed my sexuality in front of a stranger." Qi Jin laughed at herself, "But it feels good."
Shen Yan looked at him quietly for a long time, but he stopped talking.
"Qi Jin, you... have you thought about having a good talk with your family again?"