Qi Jin didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it in the past, and probably won't in the future... If Shen Yan didn't ask him that.
After a long silence, there was no answer in the end.
"I think you should have another good talk with your family."
Shen Yan answered this question for him when they sat down to eat together.
In front of him was a spacious black mahogany dining table, family-style; and on the table were neatly placed four dishes and one soup that Shen Yan had reheated, all home-cooked dishes—there is no better time than now, than this The context of the scene is more appropriate to talk about "home".
Qi Jin stopped the chopsticks in his hand. He put the half of the dishes back into the bowl silently, and sighed: "Shen Yan, I know you have good intentions, but... If it was really easy to communicate, I wouldn't cut off contact with them for so many years."
Qi Jin is a good talker, soft-tempered and very patient.
If he would choose to leave in that year, he must have really reached the point where he couldn't bear it, so he had to do so.
Shen Yan's chopsticks also stopped, and for a long while he didn't know whether to continue or not.
Embarrassing Qi Jin was the last thing he wanted to do. Besides, Qi Jin had just experienced a huge emotional ups and downs today, and he couldn't bear to make it worse.
"I see... Let's eat first," he whispered.
In addition to verbal comfort, Shen Yan also reached out and gently stroked Qi Jin's hair on the temples, rubbing the strands of hair there as if comforting, with a gentle smile. This is his personal habitual behavior, developed in the hospital for many years, and seeing injured animals will always calm them down a little.
Qi Jin had carefully observed Shen Yan's work, and naturally found this out.
However, he did not reveal it, instead he accepted such comfort very calmly.
After all, there is only one person who can make him show weakness and let him lick his wounds with peace of mind.
The meal time was pushed back two hours than usual, and it was already dark when the two of them cleaned up the dishes. After a day of filming work and the reunion with the man before, Qi Jin was very tired both physically and mentally. She was looking forward to taking a quick bath and washing away those nasty memories and breath.
Shen Yan, as always, unbuttoned his clothes for him and gently took off his shirt.
Qi Jin was about to raise his left arm and asked Shen Yan to help him pull out the sleeve tube, but suddenly felt a dull pain, and couldn't help taking a breath of cold air "hiss".
Shen Yan was stunned for a while, then frowned, "Are you injured?"
As he spoke, he anxiously supported his left hand, completely resting the weight on his own, not allowing him to continue to move.
"No, there's nothing wrong with the fractured part, it's just the upper part that hurts." Qi Jin shook her head. Just now, I didn't need to lift my arm, and now I make a move, only to find that the position close to my shoulder is sore and numb, "The guy kept pinching there when he threatened me, it should be only temporary pain, don't worry."
His tone was as light as possible, but Shen Yan was not relieved, still frowning, silently checking his upper arm.
Looking closely through the indoor lighting, you can still see a little trace of being strangled.
In addition to the left arm, so does the right wrist.
Although on the surface it doesn't cause much harm, things are often not as easy as they seem. Besides, this kind of thing could not have been easy.
"Did that person... have anything to do with you?"
The question that has not been asked for export has been asked in the end. Qi Jin's mental state was not stable before, he didn't want to ask, but at this moment he really couldn't hold back.
Qi Jin was slightly startled, then raised his head to meet Shen Yan's eyes.
There was concern and unease in his eyes, but he didn't blame himself—Qi Jin was very grateful for such thoughtfulness, so confessing became less difficult.
"have."
Shen Yan stopped breathing when she heard this word, but Qi Jin smiled bitterly and shook her head gently, pressing her right hand on the back of his hand, and added in a low voice, "But it didn't work, I escaped."
Shen Yan paused for a moment when she heard the words, her eyelids blinked, and she finally breathed a sigh of relief.
Qi Jin silently observed his every move. In fact, any topic about his ex is very sensitive to the person he is dating. He is afraid that Shen Yan will be disgusted by it, but he doesn't want to hide it - he wants their relationship to be based on honesty rather than lies.
However, Shen Yan's hand was gently placed on his shoulder from beginning to end, and she could not feel any negative emotions. So he took a step forward slowly, and the two were almost leaning against each other.
"Shen Yan... Do you mind if I have a past?"
Not just what happened tonight, but also the past that I didn't want to talk about from a long time ago.
"No," Shen Yan heard the apprehension in his words, then smiled slightly, and sighed, "I just don't want to see you continue to be hurt by him."
Everyone has a past they don't want to reveal, and I am no exception.
The stories of the past that Qi Jin didn't want to know about will come before him one day, it's just a matter of time. Therefore, he understands Qi Jin's thoughts at this time, and compares his heart to his heart, how can he sprinkle salt on the wound.
"I want to cherish our relationship, so I want to make it clear." Qi Jin lowered her head and took a long, nasal tone to answer.
"I know." He knew that from the beginning.
"Your thoughts are very important to me." One more sentence.
"I know."
The simple three words ironed out the pimple that had been in Qi Jin's heart for a long time, the tingling feeling gradually disappeared, and his heart just felt full. It's more comforting to be able to gain the trust of someone you value than any other means of comfort.
"Then you... are you still willing to be my warmer bag tonight?" Once the suppressed thoughts calmed down, he wanted to act coquettishly, "I probably really caught a cold."
After he finished speaking, he deliberately shrank his shoulders and pretended to be cold.
Shen Yan couldn't help laughing, and whispered: "Okay, then you go take a shower first, and I'll help you make the bed."
Late autumn, night, cooling down.
When these three things come together, Qi Jin's desire for warmth deepens.
There is nothing wrong with the quilt being warm, but what he wants is something warmer than the quilt—and after that existence laid the quilt for him, he automatically took out the hair dryer, and as soon as he walked out of the bathroom, he was pressed onto the chair, and carefully. Blow-dry my hair, then tuck it into the quilt.
"Come here too." Qi Jin said softly.
The slight warmth brought by the hot water on his body has not yet dissipated, and his skin is a little red, and the ends of his hair are still wet, looking darker and softer than usual.
Facing such a person, hearing such a sentence, Shen Yan found it difficult to find a reason for himself to refuse.
Besides... he had no intention of rejecting it.
"Are you going to sleep?" Shen Yan asked in a low voice before going over, "If yes, I'll turn off the lights first."
"Not yet, I want to finish reading the original book of "Zhutian Ling" that I haven't read during the day." It's still early, and Qi Jin intends to complete today's original plan and bring back the pace of life that was disrupted by that man. As he spoke, he put the pillow up on the head of the bed, slightly bent his eyes and waved his phone at Shen Yan, "If you have nothing to do, can you accompany me?"
Shen Yan nodded.
However, he still turned off the main light in the bedroom, leaving only a lamp on the bedside table. The faint warm light was not particularly bright, but it was enough for reading.
Originally, he just sat side by side with Qi Jin as he did yesterday, but as soon as he put the quilt on, Qi Jin moved his body and leaned over, and even got into his arms. Shen Yan naturally opened her arms to accept him, hugged him gently from behind, and let him lie on her chest to read the text.
Outside the window was an endless black.
Everything in the old city was quiet, except for the linden tree downstairs, which rustled in the wind, but it was also quiet.
From the outside, they can only see a square window where they are located. The window glass is stained with a layer of dim yellow light. In the middle of the countless lights out of the surrounding windows, it looks extra bright and has a special sense of home; From the inside, their world is confined to a small area by the lights, but it is warm and comfortable - just enough for two hearts to rely on each other.
Qi Jin is reading the article.
But Shen Yan didn't look at anything, clasped his fingers on Qi Qin's lower abdomen, hugged him firmly, closed his eyes and smelled the smell of Qi Qin's body - the sweet smell after bathing, whether it was dry or not The hair, or the side of his neck where the tip of his nose rubbed against him, all of them.
I don't want others to smell it.
I don't want to be owned by someone else.
To hug without leaving any gaps is a gesture and a feeling that no one else can intervene. In this way, even if she just sits quietly for an hour or two, Shen Yan feels that she is already content.
After an unknown amount of time, the man in his arms put down the phone and said softly, "I've finished reading it."
"Really," Shen Yan came back to her senses and smiled gently, "It's not too late, but you should go to bed early if you are so tired. Take a good rest."
After saying that, he pulled out one hand to turn off the light on the bedside table.
At this moment, Qi Jin suddenly held his wrist silently, and slowly pulled him back to him, without telling him to turn off the lights or to lie down: "Wait a minute... I want to see your hand."
watch hands.
Such a unique bedtime request made Shen Yan startled.
Seeing that Qi Jin really opened his palm and looked at it seriously without saying a word, he couldn't help smiling slightly: "What's the matter, what do you want to see?"
"Palm reading." Qi Jin seemed to be closer than before, completely giving himself to him like a cold little animal, warming himself between his arms. He stretched out a forefinger and drew slowly from the outside to the inside along the line extending under his little finger, his voice low and hoarse, "Your emotional line... is thin and long."
"So, what does that represent?" Shen Yan let him draw, gently resting her chin on Qi Qin's shoulder, and became a loyal listener.
"It means that you are a long-term lover, and your feelings are very delicate."
When Qi Jin spoke, her fingertips stopped at the very end of the emotional line, where she slowly rubbed it a few times, a little itchy. Shen Yan subconsciously folded her five fingers and gently left Qi Jin's hand inside.
Qi Jin didn't pull away, let him hold it without moving.
"So, do you think I am?" he asked with a smile.
"Yes," the man in his arms seemed to be laughing too. After laughing, his voice sank, "It's just that sometimes... not only is it not delicate, but it's also very dull."
Shen Yan was slightly stunned.
"For example?" He admitted that he was sometimes stupid and didn't understand what Qi Jin meant.
Qi Jin didn't speak, and passed quietly for a long time. When Shen Yan thought he had fallen asleep in his arms, he suddenly spoke softly, like a smile and a sigh.
"Like... I've been dawdling in your arms for so long, and you haven't made any movement—isn't that sluggish?"
Yes, Shen Yan is very slow.
If he hadn't been so slow, he should have been able to notice the slight tremor in his hands when he said these words, and he should have known that his palms were so nervous that they were sweating.
Words don't bring fire, they're just a bunch of little sparks that kindle the fire.
That's all you can do.
And what Shen Yan can do is more.
If that fire... did burn.
His body sank suddenly, as if he had fallen into a cotton field, his back fell on the light and soft quilt, and his neck was supported by a man's arm, and he lay on his back on the bed.
The bedside lamp still gave off a thin glow.
But the light disappeared for a moment in his eyes, because the man had already turned over and slowly leaned down to cover him from above, and the moment the two foreheads touched, he heard his name. The man's low voice was like a pleading, softly calling: "Qi Jin—"
Fire, lit.
Because it was a clearly burnt sound, dry and hot.
His heart was pounding, and he replied inaudibly, "Yeah."
"Qi Jin," Shen Yan called him for the second time, her face under the backlight showed a hint of pain, and her fingers touched his face with a slight trembling. Every time he said a word, his breath would burn him once, "You just encountered that kind of thing today... Are you afraid?"
Fear.
What she was afraid of was not Shen Yan's closeness, on the contrary, she was afraid of his being far away—other than that, Qi Jin didn't know what else she was afraid of.
"If you're worried that I'm afraid, just leave my mind blank and not be able to think about anything." He lowered his eyes, and unconsciously placed his right hand on the side of his cheek. Even if it's only for a moment, even if he deceives himself, he still wants to cover the red-hot spot under the corner of his eyes with his hands, but he can't hide the hoarseness of his voice, "Use your... 'boyfriend' way... just fine. ."
In the end, Shen Yan suddenly grabbed his right hand and pulled it away.
Even self-deception can't be covered. You can only close your eyes, turn your face away on the pillow, and don't look at it.
Not looking, doesn't mean he couldn't feel the kiss when it fell to the side of his neck. In fact, not only did he feel it, but his body even trembled slightly. He raised his head involuntarily and let out a light gasp.
"Shen Yan..."
"Qi Jin..." Shen Yan replied in a low voice.
Whether it can be done to make his mind go blank, he has no way of knowing.
Maybe before the other party loses the ability to think, the person who does this thing can't think about anything. Everything, leave it to the instinct, to the hands that ask for body temperature on the other side, and to the kisses that are eager to occupy more.
Qi Jin's right hand didn't seem to have any strength, and quietly obeyed his movements and placed it by the pillow. People seem to be very weak.
When Shen Yan gently kissed his Adam's apple, he only struggled symbolically, half-opening his eyes while panting, staring at the roof in a trance.
did not speak.
No call to stop.
Because he had to admit that Shen Yan's kiss was very comfortable.
Although it is no longer comforting, but with a little uncontrollable desire, it is still very comfortable. He is willing to accept all this, as long as Shen Yan wants to continue.