The calm lake in Cheng Feichi's eyes suddenly surged.
He never took the time to think about the past in these years. Since he chose this path, he has no intention of turning back. Memories are nothing but troubles for him.
The people and things he came into contact with after returning to China did not arouse his dusty thoughts. Including Ye Qin after the reunion, trembling and cautious, he was a different person from before, as if he had put away all the sharp edges that had bloomed.
For such a state, Cheng Feichi felt at ease. However, when he heard Ye Qin say that he wanted to chase him, this paper-thin sense of security was suddenly shattered, and the turbulent tide rolled up all the past events he deliberately buried and spread them out in front of his eyes.
In the bleak autumn evening, the empty classroom, the smell of food floating in the air, and the boy with a bright smile who said he wanted to chase him. At that time, Yeqin was fearless, his eyes were full of light, so dazzling that people couldn't tell which ones were reflected by the light above his head, and which ones burst out from his pupils.
It was this light that drew him closer step by step, sank a little bit, and finally was broken by a hammer, and he was in pain when he woke up.
After many years, the heart feels like a tingling pain again. It doesn't matter whether it is touching the scene or the aftertaste is left in the moment. Cheng Feichi retracted his gaze, and the focus fell on any point in the void. After steadying his mind, he said: "You Let's go back."
The smile froze on his face for a moment, Ye Qin knew that this was tantamount to rejection, but he was not shocked by it, and raised the corner of his mouth again to keep smiling: "It's getting late now, can I stay here for one night?"
Cheng Feichi didn't answer, and the fingertips resting on the door frame turned slightly white due to the force.
Ye Qin continued to chase after him and said: "I can do housework now, sweeping the floor and washing clothes, I can also fry eggs, I can learn what you want to eat, I promise not to cause trouble for you."
"No, I don't need anyone to take care of me here."
"Are you afraid of being known? Don't worry, I won't talk nonsense when I go outside. I was very careful when I came here, and I won't..."
"I don't care what others say." Cheng Feichi interrupted him, "Go back where you should, and don't come here again."
After finishing speaking, he retreated to the bathroom, closed the door, and blocked Ye Qin from the outside.
Ye Qin didn't have time to say what was on his lips, and almost hit his face against the door.
He thought that Cheng Feichi might need some time to digest, resisted the urge to rush in, went back to the dining room and sprayed the flowers on the table, and said in the direction of the bathroom, "Then I'll go first", and turned his head three times in the last step leave.
The stars tonight are stacked up and down, a little wronged, but the handwriting is correct and full, which reads: Let me be your boyfriend, okay
In mid-summer, when the sun was scorching, Ye Qin ran to the Garden Hotel twice in three days, but he was actually not at leisure. The male third scene was coming to an end, and Zheng Yueyue took him to shoot for two local magazines. At this juncture, some friends came to visit the set.
Liao Yifang made an appointment in advance, and Song Jue called him only after the plane landed in S City. The two happened to be on the same plane, and they happened to be sitting next to each other. They chatted on the plane with the same book in their hands, and when they got there, they found that they were going to the same place, and they chatted happily all the way.
When they arrived at Cangquan Mountain, they found that they were looking for the same person. The two exclaimed that they had a wonderful fate and talked freely all afternoon, which made Ye Qin think that he was a ray of colorless and odorless air, and was completely ignored.
But it happened that he was happy to sneak out of his busy schedule, holding his phone and making cold jokes to Cheng Feichi.
He himself just said that he wanted to chase someone, and sincerity at the beginning was especially important. But the methods of chasing people he knows are nothing more than those used in the past, which worked well back then, and may be effective now.
If you don't let him in, you can send text messages, right
"One day, Nuwa was laughing while pinching clay figurines. Pangu asked her what she was laughing at in confusion. Nuwa said, 'The most important thing to be a human being is to be happy.'"
Ye Qin muttered words while typing, attracting the two people who were discussing academics, and unexpectedly unlocked a new commonality - a very low point of laughter.
When the two laughed again because "Xiao Ming and Xiao Hong met in the back mountain and then they had a concussion", Ye Qin still did not receive Cheng Feichi's reply. He didn't dare to post too much, for fear of disturbing Cheng Feichi's work, each item was carefully selected, as you can see from the reactions of Liao Yifang and Song Jue.
So it was very disappointing not to get a response. Cheng Feichi was just as he said, saying no with actions. Ye Qin wanted to explain clearly what happened back then and express his attitude, but he couldn't find a suitable opportunity.
Besides, even if he had the chance to say it, Cheng Feichi might not believe it. He had seen and heard those things with his own eyes, and they were so intricately rooted in his heart that he couldn't easily convey them with a few words.
Six years ago, the first pursuit was not smooth and smooth. This time, the high-difficulty mode was turned on, and it was still a stand-alone. The system was as unselfish as Cheng Feichi, which made Ye Qin, who was already clumsy and speechless, even more confused.
Amidst the laughter of Liao Yifang and Song Jue, Ye Qin let out a long sigh.
Arranging the two friends who came from afar in the B&B closest to the crew, Liao Yifang asked in amazement why it was so deserted here, shouldn’t there be fans chasing stars
Ye Qin told him that the crew kept it secret, and that the mountain was a scenic spot, and most of the places were covered by the crew. The support clubs, the front lines, etc. also obeyed the rules, and would not casually reveal the idol's whereabouts, otherwise such a big place Can't stand the fan noise at all.
Liao Yifang nodded to express his understanding, and then said: "I know a friend on Weibo, who is your fan, called 'Brother Ruan is not Tiemei', do you know him?"
After he reminded Ye Qin, he remembered that his fans had a title called "Soft Girl". This stupid Weibo name had already exposed Subpi's identity. Ye Qin saw how friendly Liao Yifang was to that soft girl. Can't help but be amazed, thinking that Zhou Feng is quite talented.
Liao Yifang came to S City again for some academic seminar this time, and came to Cangquan Mountain just by chance. Ye Qin accepted the snack pack brought by him and Song Jue, walked to the corner of the corridor of the hotel, and ran into a person who shouldn't be here.
"Hush—" Zhou Feng pulled him to the corner, his gaze was still behind him, and he looked towards Liao Yifang's room, "What is the origin of that kid? Can you drive him away? If he does that, he's looking at our family. "
That kid was referring to Song Xu.
It took Ye Qin a long time to accept the fact that the person in front of him was indeed Zhou Feng: "Why are you here? Aren't you going to work?"
"If you ask for leave, you will have to work the night shift for half a month when you go back." Zhou Feng said anxiously, "Fortunately, I came with you, otherwise I don't know how my daughter-in-law was cheated away."
Ye Qin: "... Song Jue is a straight man."
Zhou Feng looked at him, his eyeballs almost popped out, and pointed to his nose: "I was not a straight man before? Are you not a straight man? Are you not curvy now?"
... There seems to be some truth in saying this.
Under Zhou Feng's instigation, Ye Qin went back and knocked on the door of Liao Yifang's room, called Song Jue who was playing with him under the pretext of "I have something to tell you", and then helped people to the end, saying "you Recently, Sister Yueyue asked me to take you to lose weight because of the reason, so she took Song Jue and ran around the hotel ten laps with him.
After the run, Song Juesheng had nothing to love, and went back to his room to take a shower and sleep. Ye Qin took a rest and prepared to go back. Before taking two steps, he saw two people in the empty courtyard of the hotel.
Liao Yifang walked in front with his luggage, and he walked very quickly. Zhou Feng, a tall and long-legged man, caught up with him in two steps. When he caught him, he hugged him and his luggage fell to the ground.
Liao Yifang struggled a lot at first, but then Zhou Feng whispered something in his ear, and the hand that hit him on the back gradually stopped moving, and after a vague whine, the two people shrouded in the shadow of the tree clinged to each other. Together, as if fused into one.
From Ye Qin's angle, he could see Liao Yifang holding Zhou Feng's arm, and Zhou Feng's slightly lowered head.
They are kissing.
Ye Qin held his breath, walked outside the fence of the hotel, and then let out a breath of relief. He looked at the full moon above his head, and felt a sense of consummation in his heart. He wished he could light firecrackers and set off firecrackers for the two of them, and set up a hundred or so banquets...if he had money.
It's been a long time since I had such a relaxed and happy moment, and the steps back to the crew were particularly brisk, as if I saw a sporadic little hope, the hope that I could successfully chase my brother back.
The next day, he originally planned to send the two of them to the airport in person, but when he got up, he received a call from Liao Yifang, saying that he had to leave early due to urgent business, and we would meet again when he returned to the capital.
After a while, he received a call from Zhou Feng, who said in a hurry that he was going to chase someone, and Ye Qin realized that the two of them didn't get along yesterday, the kiss was a forced kiss, and no one knew how moved Liao Yifang was. Zhou Feng thought that this was a big revolutionary step, and he was elated and beaming when talking to Ye Qin, completely gone from the depression he felt when his progress was not as good as him.
Zhou Feng was in a hurry to chase after him, so Ye Qin didn't pull him to talk more. When I went back to filming and got busy, I didn't bother to ask. When I picked up the phone at night, Zhou Feng already knew what he wanted to ask, and he took the initiative to say on the phone: "Actually, I didn't do anything. Doesn't he want a stable life? I gave him my salary card, car keys, real estate certificate and other valuable things on my body."
Ye Qin was speechless: "The squad leader took it?"
"That's not true. He refused to accept it and asked me to take it to someone else and let me go as far away as possible. I said, 'Where can I go when you are here', so he stood up and packed his things and ran outside. I Just chase, chase and say 'I love you'."
Hearing this, Ye Qin confirmed that he and Zhou Feng couldn't use the same move. If he said this to Cheng Feichi, what greeted him would not be a kiss, but a cold door.
"The squad leader is still soft-hearted." Ye Qin sighed.
"Isn't it?" Zhou Feng was still immersed in joy, "Thanks to my thick skin, not everyone can squat downstairs. Last time I was injured during a mission, I squatted downstairs in his house with a plaster cast on. Now, he can see me when he gets up and opens the window, do you think he doesn't feel bad?"
Yes, Cheng Feichi can. If it was him in this matter, he could send people to the hospital with a blank face, and then turn around and leave.
Thinking of this, Ye Qin didn't know whether to feel disappointed by Cheng Feichi's impartiality and selflessness towards everyone, or to be thankful that he always appeared in front of him in a state of embarrassment, so he won many opportunities to get along with him.
Zhou Feng on the other end of the phone was still summing up his experience: "Anyway, you should memorize the eight words, do what you like, say what you think, and say what you think in your heart. Sincerity will definitely be exchanged for sincerity." Pause, puzzled Said, "Hey, it seems that you told me this?"
Ye Qin, whose theoretical knowledge was so solid that he could write a book on chasing people, found time to go to the Garden Hotel again when there were still three days left in the filming.
The password for the special elevator has not been changed, but the password for entering the door has been changed.
This was completely within Yeqin's expectation. The elevator password was told to him by Cheng Feichi himself, and the room password was guessed by him without the consent of the owner. If it weren't for the fact that he repeatedly came here uninvited and treated this place as his own home, Cheng Feichi probably wouldn't have taken the time to reset the password.
When he was in high school, Cheng Feichi's first smartphone didn't have a password. Ye Qin repeatedly reminded him that it was not safe, so he had better set one up, but he didn't.
Later, while he was reading a book, Ye Qin secretly got him his real birthday as a password, thinking that if he unlocked it, he would tell him that his previous birthday was a lie, just to attract his attention. .
Unexpectedly, Cheng Feichi couldn't find an idea no matter how he guessed. He tried countless times to regard December 22 as his birthday, and the phone was automatically locked.
At that time, Ye Qin still laughed at him as a fool, and didn't take this heavy trust to heart. Now he can't ask for it, knowing that Cheng Feichi can trust him only by regaining this trust, but he has no idea where to find it or how to find it.
Cheng Feichi has always been frank and upright, and has nothing to hide. He lied to himself and hid in every possible way. Fundamentally, there is a big difference.
This thought forced Ye Qin to face up to the gap between him and Cheng Feichi. They are not a good match, no matter in the past or now, they have never been a good match, and no one who looks at them will think that they are suitable to be lovers.
Cheng Feichi came back very late today, walked two steps forward after getting off the elevator, and bumped into Ye Qin who was squatting at the door.
Although he didn't show too much surprise on his face, Ye Qin could tell from the fact that he stopped for half a second that his heart wasn't completely calm.
He followed into the house cheekily, stepped on the floor barefoot without finding any slippers, walked quietly and silently, but kept his mouth open for a moment.
"Have you had dinner yet?"
"Do you want some tea?"
"Which book to read, I'll get it for you."
"The text message I sent you... did you receive it?"
Ye Qin was still chasing after him and chattering, Cheng Feichi remained silent, using silence instead of rejection.
After hearing the last question, he still reacted a bit, put the cup on the table, his eyes still fell on the book, and said, "That phone number is no longer used."
After a long time, Ye Qin responded dully: "Oh, oh."
After drinking tea and taking a bath, the peace lasted for about half an hour, and the final eviction order was issued by the closed door.
Ye Qin looked at the closed door and summoned up his courage to ask: "Then... can you tell me the number you are using now?"
The people inside didn't respond, they just turned off the lights, taking away the last bit of light that leaked from under the door.
Ye Qin stood for a while, then squatted down against the wall at the door.
He felt like a shameless brat, relying on Cheng Feichi not to drive him away, so he shamelessly stayed here.
But he still has nothing to say, he can't go.
"I know... I know you're still angry with me." Ye Qin pondered for a moment, then said, "I was not clear-headed, I was an asshole, and it was all my fault. You can beat me and scold me. If you're still not relieved, give me back those stupid things I did before, you can laugh at me, sarcasm me, and don't...don't be so nice to me again."
The last sentence Ye Qin said was difficult. No one knew how afraid he was of facing Cheng Feichi's indifference and ignorance, and because he was too afraid, the darkness that made him terrified before became less difficult to bear, and even transformed into him being desperate. courage.
"I really want to chase you. I don't want anything else, really, I don't want anything..." After speaking, the voice dropped, and he forced himself to cheer up, "I, I like you."
I was stuttering just now, and Ye Qin repeated it seriously: "I like you. Not because you are good-looking, not because you are rich, because you are Cheng Feichi, just because you are Cheng Feichi, I like you."
"I used to be stupid and bad, I thought... I thought you would stay by my side forever and never leave, I was so bad, I still wanted to tie you by my side, I was so bad..." The typed manuscript was in a mess, Yeqin simply played freely, there might be only one such opportunity, he raised his head and tried to make his voice clear, "It won't happen now, I will treat you well and make you happy every day, just like before, no , I am happier than before. I will work hard, and I will not cause you any trouble. You don’t have to think about me when you do anything. I have grown up, really... I have grown up. "
After seeing off Yan Hong that day, Ye Qin sat alone in this empty suite from dawn to dusk, just like now, without turning on the lights, sitting on the cold floor.
He forced himself to think clearly in this darkness and silence, whether to leave or stay, if he left, he would never come back, and if he stayed, he could never let go.
The choice between continuing and giving up is always so difficult, and what Yan Hong said did have a lot of influence on him, and successfully made him think of retreating.
In the eyes of others, Cheng Feichi is living a good life now. He has a car and a house, and his parents are still alive. Not only does he have a superior living environment, but the places he goes in and out, and the people he comes and goes with are all matching him. Maybe his own appearance is really like Yan Hong. As said, it will pull him back into the quagmire again.
But no one asked Cheng Feichi if these were what he wanted. To him, where was the abyss and swamp.
The Cheng Feichi Yeqin knew was not afraid of being alone or being displaced. What he was afraid of was being used, deceived, and forcing him to do things he didn't want to do through various high-sounding reasons.
When Cheng Feichi would rather give up his future and be with him, he didn't hesitate even a second, because it was his choice. Even if the road ahead was bumpy and full of obstacles, he was full of confidence. Under such a hard and busy life, with a smile All revealed the joy from the heart.
Yan Hong thought that he was depressed because of the complicated relationship in his family and his uncertain future. Only Ye Qin knew that his indifferent face and eyebrows that could not be stretched in his sleep were all because he chose a seemingly smooth but completely unfamiliar road. Others only saw how fast he walked and how high he flew, but no one asked him if he was tired or if he wanted to take a rest.
And the instigator who forced him to make this choice was Yeqin himself. Because he was naive and ignorant, his brilliant hope turned into boundless despair, and the young and ignorant love that Cheng Feichi tried his best to defend was also ruined by him.
Thinking of this, Ye Qin bit his lip, buried his face in his knees, his eyes became sore, and he wanted to cry again.
That day he sat here alone and cried heartily. He let the tears fall continuously, gritted his teeth and told himself that this was the last time, and he was not allowed to cry again. He hopes that everyone Cheng Feichi sees in the future will be as enthusiastic, brave and fearless as he was when he was a teenager.
The only difference is that this time the enthusiasm is as pure and clear as the morning sun, without any impurities. He wants to be the little sun of Feichi on the return journey, the little sun that belongs only to him.
Ye Qin swallowed hard, suppressed the moisture in his eye sockets, enlarged the little bit of courage in his heart, and let it squeeze away the timidity and lack of self-confidence that were just about to move.
Facing the closed door, he clenched the ring on his chest and said the words that had been in his heart for a long time: "I will never lie to you again...Brother."
He believed that he could bring happiness to Cheng Feichi.
This is the certainty that no matter how long the years are and how many times the wind and rain can be broken.