It's not that Fang Juexia didn't imagine the scene of seeing him again. He is cold-hearted, but he has also had fantasies.
He thought about receiving a call from his mother on a busy day, telling him that "father" is back, and she finally waited, so that every time he receives a call from his mother, he feels very complicated. It seems to be expecting and it seems Is afraid.
He also thought that maybe it was at the concert site in the future. He was hiding in the audience. Although Fang Juexia couldn't see clearly, maybe he was just below, listening to him singing and watching him dance.
Then Fang Juexia would think in her heart, Dad, look, I am not a failure. Even if I can't see clearly, even if there is a birthmark on my face, I can have a stage.
So many illusions are shattered at this moment.
Fang Juexia never dreamed that it would be such an embarrassing reunion.
It turned out that the person who followed him for so many days was not an illegitimate child, nor was he a paparazzi. He was not even the former company deliberately trying to pull him down. It was his father.
The great father who knew that he was suffering from night blindness, held a steel rod in the dim underground parking lot and waved it towards his back.
There was a faint pain in the lower back, and the pain and shock made Fang Juexia unwilling to think.
He silently looked at the face in front of him that was far from the memory, and finally only turned his head indifferently, and said to the personal bodyguard, "Excuse me, please deal with it according to Pei Tingsong's thoughts."
"Okay." The man's professionalism was very high. He didn't have a word to say. He was ready to take away this vicious gangster. But who knew that this thin middle-aged man suddenly burst out of strength and struggled desperately. Li still yelled, "You have no conscience! You don't even recognize your father!"
He scolded extremely ugly words, all kinds of swear words, without logic and structure, and no different from a lunatic. Fang Juexia didn't want to listen at all, but in the end, he scolded his mother evenly.
So at the moment of turning around, Fang Juexia stopped, her back froze for a second. He walked forward, stopped in front of the thick steel rod just before, bent over to pick it up, then turned and walked towards the lunatic.
When he walked in front of him, Fang Juexia took out the phone from his pocket, turned on the flashlight and pointed it at his old face.
"Fang Ping, you have taken drugs, haven't you?" It was clearly an interrogative sentence, but his tone was firm and his expression was calm, as if he was stating facts that had nothing to do with him.
The person in front of him seemed to be taken aback, but he couldn't control his emotions at all. The facial muscles were twitching, which looked very strange.
Fang Juexia nodded, confirming her judgment, "Drug addiction is committed."
When he was infected with the contraband, Fang Juexia thought he could be saved. It was said on TV that people could be rehabilitated if they made a mistake, and he believed it.
Even if this person wanted to disappear into their lives later, Fang Juexia also imagined that maybe one day, Fang Ping would reform.
But as time passed, as he became more and more rational, he also knew that repentance is a small probability event. Most people will only make mistakes again and again and never repent. People who are contaminated with drugs and products are desperadoes who deceive their personality and do everything.
Fang Juexia stood in front of him and realized that he was already taller than Fang Ping. The time he had abandoned made him grow rapidly. So now I look at this person again and find that he is so downhearted, so incompetent, like being drained of work. A shriveled body of popularity.
Raising the steel rod abruptly, Fang Juexia saw Fang Ping's trembling shoulders at that moment.
He let out a very light sneer, "I just wanted to do this to me, didn't you?"
His eyes fell on his limp leg, Fang Juexia took the stick off, patted his dead leg lightly, and asked without a stir, "Or do you want to break my leg, like you ."
"I don't!" Fang Ping kept shaking, and every word in his words seemed to fall out of his mouth, "I don't, I just, I just want to faint you..."
"Get dizzy." Fang Juexia repeated his expression, "Then what about kidnapping? Blackmailing? Going to buy the drug you can't ask for with a large sum of money?"
Fang Ping stopped talking. He could hardly say anything. His trembling legs couldn't stand still. He could only be dragged by the bodyguard, like a dummy sewn out of rags and cotton.
The bodyguard said, "Mr. Fang, the young master had arranged a place before and told me that if someone was caught, he would be locked there and wait for him to come back." He looked at Fang Ping's state and was not suitable for staying, "Or, I'll take him there first, you go back to rest first."
There will be people here at any time, Pei Tingsong is very considerate.
"You don't need to tell Pei Tingsong," Fang Juexia smiled dismal.
Compared with the other side, none of them is much better.
Fang Ping was half unconscious after a drug addiction, and was taken away by private bodyguards. Fang Juexia decided to go with him, and waited for Fang Ping to be sober and interrogated again, he must figure out the ins and outs.
The steel rod in his hand was heavy, and Fang Juexia looked down at it. It was so long and so heavy that it might be more than a coma when hitting it on the head.
He seemed to advance to the kind of soreness.
Throwing the steel rod into the trunk, Fang Juexia sorted out his emotions. He knew very well that he couldn't drive in this state and something would happen, so he also got in the car of the private bodyguard and left the underground parking lot downstairs of the company.
Faint and dizzy along the way, Fang Juexia sat in the passenger seat, listening to the struggling and yelling of Fang Ping who was tied up, feeling a little unreal, like a bloody drama, ugly and tormenting.
His forehead was knocked to pieces, and it began to bleed, itchy, and it ran to the eyelids. He raised his hand and wiped it off with the back of his hand and continued to look ahead. Obviously he has cultivated into a stone, but it turns out that the stone will hurt too.
The personal bodyguard took him to an apartment, threw the tied Fang Ping into one of the rooms, and tied it to a single bed, just like an animal.
"Mr. Fang, you can take a break and call me whenever you need to. I will watch him."
Fang Juexia opened her mouth like a puppet, and there was a muffled voice in her throat, "Thank you." His only request was a glass of water.
Holding the water glass, he stubbornly did not go to rest. Instead, he came to Fang Ping's locked room, sat at a table less than three meters away from him, and looked at him in silence.
The throat is dry and itchy. He only turned on a bedside lamp because he didn't want to see too clearly.
Throughout the whole night, Fang Juexia listened to his screams and roars, like an unsentimental bystander. The kind of out-of-control that was controlled by the illicit drugs to control his mind and spirit was placed in front of him bloody. This scene became blurred under the blessing of night blindness. He seemed to watch a raging fire from a distance, watching a living person melt in the flames of evil, turning into carbon, turning into ashes, and turning into a pool of hair. Smelly stagnant water.
Reunited after many years of absence, saved a nightmare.
Looking in front of him, Fang Juexia’s mind flashed through pictures at an untimely time. They all looked like Fang Ping’s spirited spirits on the stage more than ten years ago, dancing "Crazy Songs" and "Flowers on the Sea". The postures are graceful and inviting. Enchanted. Every time he lifted his leg, his toes were stretched straight, and what was stretched was his pride.
Back then, that little self, always looking up at his figure from the stage, didn't even dare to blink, for fear of missing every wonderful moment of his father.
He is a dance idiot, and the person who dances is alive. When he can dance, he is so good, so good that the inexhaustible love and affection can be used to nourish Fang Juexia, let him feel the warm father's love, let him appreciate the charm of the stage, and let him have the greatest presence on the stage. Fantasy.
Fang Juexia, who was only four or five years old, looked up at him in the practice room and heard him speak all kinds of bold words and aspirations.
[Dad will definitely become the most eye-catching one on the stage in the future, then you can see Dad at a glance. ]
This is obviously the first person to teach him what a dream is.
Fang Juexia looked at the already mad man indifferently, and suddenly felt nauseous. The cold water dripped down the esophagus, the whole body was very cold.
The sky turned white, and the night gradually faded from black to dark blue, and finally disappeared. Fang Ping, who was tied up, seemed to have survived the addiction episode for a short time. He passed out. Fang Juexia stood by the window, quietly looking at the resurrected street outside the window. People walking on the road, ants as small as ants.
Ants are easily trampled to death, so the dream of ants is even more fragile.
The phone shook several times. It was news from Ling Yi, asking him why he didn't go back to the dormitory to sleep. Fang Juexia typed slowly, not knowing what she had returned.
Fang Ping's voice came again behind him, his throat was already dumb, and he begged Fang Juexia to let him go. He seemed to be confessing sincerely, tearing down his voice.
"I was wrong, boy, I really don't want to hurt you, I just want to talk to you, but I can't control myself..."
"Really, Dad is so uncomfortable, I'm dying, you know?"
"Dad knows you are promising, knows you, you succeed, you can help dad, right?"
"After so many years, Dad also misses you very much."
dad.
It's really a distant word.
Fang Juexia's emotions are pulling with reason, disgusting and sympathizing with him emotionally, but reason is still analyzing the truth and falsehood of this person's words sentence by sentence.
He didn't want to hurt, but finally came to him with a steel rod.
I miss him very much. I haven't been home for so many years, but because he became popular, I miss him.
Fang Juexia turned her back to him, still looking out the window, her back straight like a tree, every word she said was objective and cold, more like an interrogator than a son, "When did you start following me? Does anyone else know about your return?"
With a dumb voice, Fang Ping rushed to answer the second question, "No, really not."
"Answer me, when did you start following me?" Fang Juexia repeated the interrogation indifferently.
"Late April... In order to meet you, I, I spent the last money and came to Beijing. Originally, my father wanted to go back to Guangzhou, but I wanted to see you, kid, I..."
"What contraband did you take before you came?" Fang Juexia was relieved when he heard that he hadn't returned to Guangzhou, but she immediately interrupted his emotions, "What do you plan to do to me? What do you want from me?"
Fang Ping panted, his voice sounded vain, like someone who was seriously ill, "I... I don't remember, Jue Xia..."
"You remember." Fang Juexia felt harsh when he heard him call his name, so he exposed his lie, "Say, what do you plan to do to me."
His voice is too cold.
"I just want to stun you, because I can't find a chance to talk to you alone, I just want to talk to you, want you to help me, help your father!"
Fang Juexia sneered.
"Don't lie. Do you know what it's like after taking drugs yourself? Have you looked in the mirror? If the stick is pulled down, I still can stand in front of you without knowing, help? How can the dead help you?"
He was speaking faster and faster, and he shot over like bullets.
"Have you contacted my company and broker? What about other companies? Who else did you contact? Speak!"
Fang Ping's mouth was stammering, and his mouth trembled, already not keeping up with the rhythm of Shang Juexia.
His addiction to drugs and addictions reappeared. When he was awake, it was like a glimpse. After a short period of time, the body that was struggling up fell down and his nerves were bitten by maggots. He could say anything, what Anyone can scold.
In this round, Fang Ping no longer had it in his mind.
He remembered his anger when he learned that he might be disabled in the hospital, and remembered his drunkenness and insulting him as a crippled commodity. The chair that had been copied up hit his back severely, and his entire spine was bruised. In summer, the white shirts and school uniforms that are not of good quality can be faintly revealed.
It seems that the clothes are dirty.
Fang Ping began to scold him again, and Fang Juexia could not tell whether he was the person who became addicted or the real him when he was sober.
"Garbage", "loser", "no one will like something like you"
"Waste", "Defect", "Unworthy to stand on the stage", "Why can you succeed"
These words are so familiar. Fang Jue Xia went back to her childhood in a daze, when she was afraid that her father would go home with alcohol. He avoided the beer bottle that might hit his head at any time, and he couldn't hide the ashtray that hit him. He slammed it firmly on his foot, and his toes kept bleeding.
So he couldn't practice dancing anymore, his feet hurt so much that he couldn't stand it. When asked by the teacher, he could only deceive others.
Said it was his own fault.
Why can't human experience be offset by positive and negative
The beautiful childhood that I have really had, and the subsequent fragmentation and collapse, one good and one bad, one positive and one negative, after adding up to zero, as if everything has never been owned. This is too ideal, the reality is only double the pain of gain and loss.
After struggling desperately, Fang Ping stopped again. He is like this over and over again and again, madness. He woke up with hysterical abuse and screaming, and when he passed out, he left him with a terrible silence.
Fang Juexia is like a clean piano cover, constantly stained with dust, dirt and dirty fingerprints.
His waist was so painful that he couldn't stand anymore, so he could only sit on the ground holding his knees and quietly look out the window. The door to the room would open occasionally, and the bodyguard who was instructed by Pei Tingsong would bring him food and water, but Fang Juexia didn't even have the strength to say thank you.
He didn't dare to close his eyes, as long as he closed his eyes, he could see the original Fang Ping, the gleaming, gentle and considerate Fang Ping. He is afraid that this person is him, afraid that he will feel weak.
The sky went from bright to dark, the clouds fell to gray, thunder and lightning flashed, and suddenly it rained heavily, and the smell of the mud poured into his nose. He felt nauseous again, and he stood up on the wall and went to the bathroom. But it was just retching. He bent over and retched, as if trying to vomit all his internal organs, but there was nothing.
In the mirror, my forehead was bruised, and there were blood scabs on the broken skin. Fang Juexia was even fortunate that he hadn't had a job recently, otherwise how would he be on stage and how to face the camera. Fang Juexia felt terrible as soon as such thoughts appeared. He obviously spent so many years affirming himself, telling himself that the birthmark on his face was not a defect of inferior goods, but as soon as this person appeared, those nightmares reappeared.
Those seeds of self-doubt buried in his blood and bones by his own father are just dormant for the time being.
Fang Juexia stopped looking in the mirror. He tried to expel those negative emotions with reason, but his whole body was trembling slightly. He needs Sudoku and thinks so that he can calm his emotions. As long as he can do some questions and let his mind turn, he should be well.
Anxiety crawled into her heart, and Fang Juexia lost her way.
Coming out of the bathroom, he heard the sound of closing the door, followed the sound and looked up and saw a person who was half-drenched.
Hallucinations
Why is it like Pei Ting Song.
Pei Tingsong looked at Fang Juexia, and his heart throbbed. He was pale like a dry flower, stubborn to maintain its original shape, but he was smashed with the touch. His eyes were gone, as if he couldn't see himself.
He walked up quickly and called to Jue Xia, wanting to hold him in his arms, but when he was just one step away, he stopped seeing Fang Jue Xia's downturned eyes. It seemed to be afraid that this hug would appear hasty, which would make Fang Juexia's mood even more disturbed.
So Pei Tingsong became hesitant, and the hand he wanted to reach out again retracted.
Fang Juexia slowly raised his hand and touched Pei Tingsong's chest. It was hot and heartbeat.
"You're back." Only then did he confirm that it was not an illusion, and then said this sentence, like a person who hadn't happened and just waited for his lover to return home.
He even tried to say more words that he had prepared a long time ago, his voice was modified very calmly, "...How is the matter over there? Did your mother give up?"
Pei Tingsong held his hand and looked at the wound on his face. He was angry and sad, and his heart was congested. He did not answer Fang Juexia's question, "I rushed back when I received the news."
"Did he beat you? I must interrupt him today..."
Fang Juexia shook her head feebly, "Nothing." He was afraid that Pei Tingsong was worried, and repeated, "I'm fine, I'm fine."
Pei Tingsong would naturally not believe it.
He had already learned from the bodyguard that Fang Juexia hadn't closed his eyes all night, watching Fang Ping frantically all night. He couldn't even think of Fang Juexia's mood at the moment, but wanted to coax him and take him away from this scumbag.
"Jexia, will you go back with me first?" His voice was very soft, and he raised his hand to touch Fang Juexia's cheek, "Let’s take a break and sleep. I will handle the matter here to a special person, don’t you Worry."
"Sleep?" Fang Juexia seemed to hear only a few words, her eyes confused. He shook his head, "I don't want to sleep here, it's too dirty here."
"I know." Pei Tingsong rubbed his hand. "Let's go back and go back to me, okay?"
Fang Juexia nodded slightly.
In order to facilitate the interrogation, Pei Tingsong directly arranged a suite in the high-end apartment where he lived. Now it is easy to go back, but it is difficult to appease Fang Juexia.
Fang Juexia was dizzy and felt very uncomfortable. As soon as he entered the apartment, he did not consciously walk into the empty living room. The breath after the rain rushed into his nose crazily, condensing his breath and thoughts, making him uncomfortable and making him unable to think rationally. Even the voice of Pei Tingsong that I heard seemed to come through the pattering rain, very vague and weak.
Feeling his hand being held by him, feeling that he was taken to the room by him, he was sensitive and dull.
He said he wanted to take a bath, Pei Tingsong was uneasy, but couldn't help him, so he could only agree and put hot water in the bathtub. Fang Juexia took off his shirt with her back to him, her back was bruised.
Pei Tingsong's fists were clenched.
The hot water saved his life and melted the ice on his body a little bit. Fang Juexia leaned on the side of the bathtub, leaning up on the ceiling, letting Pei Tingsong carefully clean the wound on his forehead. Fang Juexia didn't say a word when taking a bath, as if he was thinking about something, and he seemed to be just in a daze.
The only thing he said was to let Pei Tingsong go out, he wanted to wash it himself.
Pei Tingsong could only go out, leaving the change of clothes behind, guarding the closed bathroom door outside, with a heart hanging.
He regretted that he had returned to the United States at this time, and regretted that he was not with Fang Juexia the first time the incident happened. But he also knew what he could do even if he was there.
It was just watching Fang Juexia's nightmare repeat itself.
This person was willing to be with him after he overcomes all difficulties. He finally persuaded him to try, and convinced him to walk out of the shadow created by his biological father and distrust of love, and into his arms.
Now he will regret it.
The bathroom door opened, Fang Juexia walked out barefoot in Pei Tingsong's pajamas, and came to Pei Tingsong's side with hot and humid water vapor all over her body. She consciously lay down on the bed without letting Pei Tingsong urge him again.
"Then you rest." Pei Tingsong tucked the quilt for him, lowered his eyes and lowered his voice, "Call me if you have anything."
When he was about to turn around, Fang Juexia sat up and grabbed his hand, his eyes flushed.
"You're back, you haven't hugged me yet."
At the moment when he heard these words, Pei Tingsong suddenly realized that he was really a bastard, and kept saying that he liked him, but he had no confidence in him.
Too much worry about gains and losses, so fragile as if he would collapse as long as he heard Fang Juexia say a word.
Pei Tingsong held Fang Juexia in his arms, his nose sour, and tried to hold back his tears, "I'm sorry."
Fang Juexia didn't understand his apology, so she didn't respond, but she raised her hand to hug him, her voice gentle, "You didn't answer my question, what's going on over there?"
Pei Tingsong shook his head, touched the back of his neck, and kissed the top of his hair again, "It's okay."
"That's good." Fang Juexia shrank in his arms and closed his eyes.
They are two injured animals that lower their body temperature when they bleed. So they have no choice but to embrace each other and live by each other's body temperature.
Fang Juexia is accustomed to perennial emotional management and uses reason to overwhelm sensibility, so he can't even be hysterical in pain. The vague memories and emotions are always separated by a piece of frosted glass, incomplete and indirect.
"You know what, I sometimes feel very gloomy. When I knew that the man who followed and attacked me in the parking lot was him, guess what my first reaction was."
Fang Juexia tried to maintain a steady voice, "I want my mother to come over immediately and see with my own eyes who she has been waiting for for so many years."
Pei Tingsong could hear the despair in his heart.
"I watched him all night, listened to him go crazy, listened to him scolding me and my mother, every time I had that thought in my heart. I even wanted to record him like this, and hit him on The steel rods on my head were photographed, and they were all sent to my mother to make her sober and let her end her fantasy."
His emotions finally fermented in Pei Tingsong's arms, and he was gradually on the verge of exploding.
"Every time I want to do this, I think of my mother sitting at the table looking at the door. No matter how sad she is, her face is full of hope. It's like..."
It's like waiting for the spring every year.
He didn't know what would happen to her if he really told her that there would be no more spring in the days to come.
Thinking of this, Fang Juexia's tears finally fell. The big one, like an unbearable rock, rolled down the iceberg.
This is the first time Pei Tingsong has really seen Fang Juexia cry since he knew him, not for himself, but for his mother's love. A story that was once happy eventually becomes a shackle and a probation for a lifetime.
But even with probation, Fang Juexia still couldn't bear to smash her mother's fantasy with her own hands.
A suspended sentence is better than an immediate execution.
Pei Tingsong stroked Fang Juexia's cheek and gently kissed away the tears on his face.
Fang Juexia looked at him, "You say? Let her wait for a lover who no longer exists, isn't it... isn't it so cruel?"
"We won't tell, we won't tell her." Pei Tingsong pressed his forehead, "I will send him where he should go, and I won't let him appear in front of you again, and I won't let him hurt you again. "
It was the first time he learned to love someone, the first time he had the desire to have the same soul and body, the first time he learned to give up resistance, and the first time he tried to feel heartache for others.
But he would rather not have such an experience, and also want Fang Juexia to get better.
"He wasn't like that in the past, he also had a time to protect me."
Fang Juexia’s body trembled in his arms, “He used to be like this. He held me and took me to the exercise room to watch him practice basic skills and watch him dance. My mother said that when I was a few months old, I was particularly able to Crying, every day I have to be hugged to fall asleep, so he stays up all night, holding me in his arms, humming to me his dancing tunes. He also praised me as the most beautiful child in the world, will be in me He watched me overnight when he had a fever, and asked me to sit on his shoulders and blow the river breeze on the cruise ship in the Pearl River."
These are not fake, he did have fatherly love.
"Before he fell, before I knew that night blindness was detected, he said..."
He took a deep breath. "He said that my mother and I were his favorite people, and he said I was his pride."
"But actually, compared to his own pride, I am nothing, am I?"
Pei Tingsong stroked his hair, "No, Fang Juexia, you are the best and most precious person in the world."
"You have to remember that failure, alcohol and drugs, these things have corroded him a long time ago. He is no longer a normal person. No matter what he said that is full of malicious words, it is wrong. Don't listen."
That's right, Fang Juexia meditated on what Pei Tingsong had said in her heart.
He is not a normal person, and all the misses he has said are deceptions.
After years of reunion, Fang Ping gave him nothing but bruises and wounds.
He lay down, lying in Pei Tingsong's arms, feeling his hands rubbing his hair and back.
Pei Tingsong could feel Fang Juexia's inner pull, which was very mysterious, but he felt it. He has been unable to make a decision for so many years, so he is so tormented now, and whenever he sees his father again and suffers from him again, Fang Juexia will be extremely painful.
"Do you still pull it in your heart? The father when you were a child, and the one you meet now."
Fang Juexia couldn't deny it.
He continued to persuade himself, just like persuading his mother, that the person in front of him is no longer who he was. It is the best choice to let him fend for himself. But his heart still hurts, especially when he dreamed of the past, the first time he saw the stage in his arms.
Every time I wake up, I burst into tears.
Pei Tingsong understood his silence, "Everyone in this world is changing all the time, for various reasons and under various circumstances. Even if we accept this change, it is often difficult. Determine if this person is still the original him."
Having said this, he touched Fang Juexia's cheek and asked softly, "Have you heard the story of The Ship of Theseus?"
Fang Juexia shook her head, holding back her emotions, "Is it another philosophical paradox?"
"You guessed it." Pei Tingsong held his hand. "This is a very old thought experiment. Suppose there is a ship, as long as people continue to repair and replace parts, it can continue to sail. Whenever there is Any piece of deck decayed, and any damaged canvas, were replaced with new ones. In this way, after hundreds of years, the Ship of Theseus no longer has any of the original parts. Is it still the original one?"
Fang Juexia thought, arguing between the two answers in his mind. Under the constant replacement and update of this ship, it has no parts of the past, and lost everything of the past ship.
But it was gradually lost, not directly replaced by a new ship, it was still called Theseus, and it was still sailing non-stop on the sea.
After serious consideration, Fang Juexia spoke and tried to give his own answer, "This question depends on how we define this ship, right?"
Pei Tingsong nodded and moved closer, with the tip of his nose touching the tip of his nose, "Jexia, do you remember? You actually have a definition."
"You said that the essence of a person is the self he strives to preserve."
Fang Juexia nodded, tears in his eyes, his awakening after a painful struggle.
Fang Ping had long lost the self he had worked hard to preserve.
He tried his best to tell Pei Tingsong his answer, "So... he is no longer the same he used to be."
Nor is he the father who once truly loved him.
Pei Tingsong knows this kind of pain, because he has also experienced it. It is really difficult to admit that his parents don't love him, but the illusory delusion will only hurt him.
"Just let the ship of the past stay in your heart. It has no physical form, it will exist forever, and it will never change."
His tears fell again. Yes, in any case, he has to admit that his past father has long since disappeared, and he has disappeared from the moment he could no longer stand up after he fell on the stage.
That fall shattered his insecure self.
It's really hard to admit that you are no longer loved. For so many years, he has been evading and unwilling to face it, so that the father who loved him in the past and the madman now overlap into a shadow, making him even more afraid of walking in the dark with fear.
He was afraid that he would lose control and be swallowed by the shadows, so he had to use all means to keep his sanity all the time. This kind of fear made him refuse to be loved again and refuse to love someone.
Because he doesn't want to make more nightmares for himself.
Pei Tingsong's faces were close at hand, and they were fighting each other. Fang Juexia finally got out of that paranoid "waking up" and really woke up.
He admitted that he was wrong.
When surrounded by malice, he subconsciously thought that what he needed was a Sudoku book, which was a crude transfer of attention and mood from logical reasoning. Only now did he discover how rough such emotional restraint was.
Pei Tingsong's open embrace revealed his strong mask.
He just needs love.
Fang Juexia never thought that the cocoon she had made with pain for many years could be easily unraveled by Pei Tingsong. Even just now, he almost subconsciously pushed Pei Tingsong away, he thought he could digest the catastrophe.
It suddenly occurred to him that when he just returned to the bed, Pei Tingsong's lost eyes seemed to want to leave himself alone.
Fang Juexia changed his angle. Perhaps Pei Tingsong was afraid that he would regret devoting himself to a love after witnessing Fang Ping’s bleak appearance.
If he was in the past, he might really do it. Because he was too scared.
"Listen to Song." Fang Juexia said softly, calling his name, "Thank you."
Pei Tingsong smiled and felt that his heartache symptoms had been relieved a lot. It should be that he thanked Fang Juexia for saving himself.
"I know that there are many failures in the world." Fang Juexia raised his hand and gently placed it on Pei Tingsong's cheek. The rain outside the window seemed to be lighter, and the voice softened.
"But I never doubted the inevitability of true love." Fang Juexia's eyes were firm, and she raised her eyebrows. It seems to be saying, look, Fang Juexia is again talking about the inevitability that makes you headache.
And Pei Tingsong's heart really convulsed for a moment because of his "inevitability".
"What's more, I am also changing. I am also trying hard to calculate the probability of success. Really." Fang Juexia knows that he is a little confused now, but he hopes that Pei Tingsong can understand his heart, "So don't be afraid of me. Will give up, I am not a coward."
"Well, I know you are brave." Pei Tingsong kissed the tip of his nose, very tenderly, "I started to worry about gains and losses, and I changed."
In the past, Pei Ting-song was confident in everything, as if there was no place in the world that he couldn't do. He can easily step into many forests and live all kinds of life he wants to live. He is free and fearless.
Until love feels summer.
The hostility on his body was wrapped in Fang Juexia's gentleness, and he finally realized what it was like to be afraid of losing. Now he can't just make it possible to succeed, he began to think about the consequences of failure.
Pei Tingsong is really scared, Fang Juexia will tell him one day—this point is wrong, and you are still an irrational number.
Obviously he had cried just now, Fang Juexia looked at Pei Tingsong's sad face at this moment, but laughed unconsciously. It was his first laugh since he saw Fang Ping.
"We are more and more alike, which is strange."
Looking at him is like looking at yourself, the symbiotic opposition and unity in the mirror image.
Pei Tingsong hugged him tightly and kissed his side neck.
"Not surprising. We are two ships of Theseus sailing on the sea. They met unexpectedly and were afraid of separation. So you exchanged your parts for me, and I exchanged mine for you. We are no longer in the past. Of us."
"We became each other."