This is really a wonderful word.
Fang Juexia was hugged by him and closed his eyes for the almost imaginable picture. He even smelled salty sea water and moist wood.
He sniffed, nestled dependently on Pei Tingsong's shoulders, and asked softly, "But we didn't replace them with new parts. We replaced them with old ones. We might not be able to sail for hundreds of years."
"Do you want to be an adult?" Pei Tingsong's voice finally brought a smile, gently touching Fang Juexia's back with the palm of his hand, obviously he was the younger one, but still like coaxing a child, "Old The parts are old parts, and we can slowly decay together. Maybe on a calm day, they will sink to the bottom of the sea together and become two pairs of remains, like a dead whale, sinking slowly... ”
Fang Juexia's nose was sour again, "I like the end of this story."
Pei Tingsong smiled at him, "I like it too."
Perhaps one day, someone will dive into the deep sea, discover their existence, unearth the story of them riding the wind and waves side by side, and will also realize that every rotten part of them actually originated from each other.
Two completely different ships of Theseus became the remains of each other and were buried in the sea forever.
Fang Juexia knew that when he had just accepted that the fantasy was completely broken, it might be a stupid and risky thing to choose to confess to himself, but he really wanted Pei Tingsong to know.
Without Pei Tingsong, Fang Juexia couldn't imagine herself at this time.
Must have been swallowed by darkness long ago.
"I love you." He let go and looked at Pei Tingsong's eyes, "I love you very much, Pei Tingsong."
Pei Tingsong was stunned.
This was the first time he heard Fang Juexia solemnly say the word love to him. He always thought that they still stayed at the level of liking, especially Fang Juexia, he never dared to ask too much emotion from this person, he knew it was difficult. Therefore, Pei Tingsong is always afraid of crossing the boundary, afraid that his overly strong feelings will force him back.
But Fang Juexia was too brave, he even took the lead and said this sentence.
In his eyes, Fang Juexia had clear eyes and wounds on her face, but she was so beautiful, the red birthmarks at the corners of her eyes were more beautiful than petals. Pei Tingsong couldn't help but kissed there, and whispered, "I love you too. I love you more than you think."
Pei Tingsong has read countless books. There are all kinds of love in the books. He tasted them all, but the words never turned into real emotions. The words were words, only living on paper. It wasn't until he met Fang Juexia that he knew that he could love someone like this.
If you love him, it will automatically become armor.
"Thank you." Fang Juexia took the initiative to stick it up, kissed his lips, and quickly let go, her eyes soft and open.
Pei Tingsong's eyes were also sour. In order to conceal his emotions, he laughed again, with a little childish face on his face, "You are really, I have thought about the scene of telling you I love you many times. It should have been special. Romantically, it turned out to be preempted by you."
The sudden "accusation" made Fang Juexia a little dazed, "Then... you didn't discuss it with me either."
discuss
Pei Tingsong thought it was more funny. How could this guy behave like this, "More than that, I haven't seen you cry before, and thought the first time you cried in front of me was because of me." He lowered his head and bit. He took a mouthful of Fang Juoxia's nose, "As a result, this thought was soaked."
Fang Juexia was a little embarrassed thinking that she had been shed tears just now, she muttered with her eyes lowered, "What's so good about crying..."
"Of course it's good." Pei Tingsong kissed his eyebrows carefully, "You look good when you cry, and you can do everything."
The love of young people is always reckless, eagerly holding it in front of you, for fear that you will ignore it.
Pei Tingsong frowned again, "But if you really cry, I will feel very uncomfortable. My chest hurts so much. I am not afraid of your jokes. I have never been so uncomfortable before. I have received a message from the security that I know who is following you. When it was your father, my hands were shaking. I would be trembling in such hot weather.” Pei Tingsong took a deep breath and continued, “And why is San Francisco so far from Beijing?”
His words were full of complaints, and the ending sound was like a child. Fang Juexia could almost think of what this irritable guy was in at the time, and couldn't help laughing.
Pei Tingsong is still immersed in his own emotions, "I am really afraid and tormented. I am afraid that when I come back, you are desperate because of your dad, and I am afraid that you will suddenly not want me."
Fang Juexia hugged him, trying to comfort a large dog and touched his back from the back of his head, "I won't."
"Yeah." Pei Tingsong said to him, "I won't let you face it alone. I won't let him appear in front of you again." He solemnly looked at Fang Juexia, "When you take a shower, I Someone has sent him to a compulsory detoxification center. To be honest, I really want to kill him and let him disappear in this world, but I know that if you make a choice, you won't do that."
Fang Juexia looked at him silently, her eyes already giving an affirmative answer.
The drug rehabilitation center is the best destination. He has accepted the fact that Fang Ping is no longer his father, but he still wants to give him a chance to be a man.
"Can you really quit? It depends on his good fortune. If you can't quit, you will stay in it for the rest of your life, lest you do anything more extreme."
After Pei Tingsong finished speaking, he gently put his hand on his back, "Does it hurt?"
Fang Juexia said it didn't hurt, but Pei Tingsong looked disbelief, so he whispered, "There is a little bit of pain, it doesn't hurt the bones, and it will heal soon."
Even if that person really gave Fang Juexia life, he had warmed him when he was young, but Pei Tingsong just couldn't accept him hurting his favorite person like this.
It seemed that his senses no longer belonged to him, they had migrated from Fang Juexia. When Fang Juexia cried, he would feel heartache, and when Fang Juexia was injured, he would feel even more pain.
"I won't do this again in the future." Pei Tingsong gently stroked his bruise, "I won't cry anymore. My heart breaks when you cry."
Fang Juexia nodded, the corners of her mouth slightly raised.
"It's better to laugh." He dialed Fang Juexia's forehead, "We think Xia smiles very well."
Fang Juexia never felt lucky, the word was always very far away from his life, so he kept walking forward and convincing himself that there must be an exit ahead and all his efforts will surely be rewarded.
He didn't know if there would be any return, but he met Pei Tingsong.
This is his luckiest thing.
The tip of his nose was a little itchy, Fang Juexia rubbed Pei Tingsong’s chin, and then slowly said, “It’s the fifteenth today. You’ve been away for six days.” He also raised his head and glanced at the watch on the wall. , "It's not very accurate, but if you calculate it now, you have walked for six days and ten hours."
It was a long time, until his small clock was out of order, and a second in reality was so long in his heart that he wanted to walk for a minute.
But Pei Tingsong came back before the first thunderstorm of summer.
It was very timely and did not let him get caught in the rain.
"do you miss me?"
Hearing his low voice, Fang Juexia nodded slightly, "Yeah." He added, "And I worry about you every day."
Fang Juexia has never seen what the real capital family is like. He has only seen it on TV. It seems to be very complicated and full of conspiracies. Fang Juexia hates complicated things, and is afraid that his Pei Tingsong will be bullied by some old treacherous guys, that his mother will say a lot of things that hurt him, and that Pei Tingsong can’t control his emotions and get fucked by others. when.
I've broken my heart these days, I can't do anything well, and I'm sick like a seedling that lacks water.
"I'm afraid you are worried. Calling you every day is not enough."
Fang Juexia clings to Pei Tingsong's arms obediently, "I can feel at ease when I see you. I'm afraid you lie to me and say that you are good. In fact, you are not good at all. Listening to your mother's nonsense, you still have to be angry with her."
What he said was the same, making Pei Tingsong want to laugh.
"Jexia."
Fang Juexia likes to hear him call herself that way. Although other people call him that way, Pei Tingsong rarely does that. Every time these two words come out of his mouth, Fang Juexia feels like being cared for. Pei Tingsong's palms are dry and wide, and he feels comfortable touching his cheeks. "I will go back this time and see my mom. Guess what my first reaction was."
Fang Juexia shook his head, he couldn't imagine the scene, even if he imagined something, he didn't dare to say it.
"So she looks like this."
Fang Juexia's hand grabbed the fabric around Pei Tingsong's waist and held it tightly.
He almost couldn't even remember his mother's looks.
"What?" Fang Juexia asked him with closed eyes.
"How do you say..." Pei Tingsong tried to describe, "She wore a red sleeveless dress with a black pearl necklace on her neck. It was very large, but it couldn't hide the lines on her neck, but she The face was flat without a trace of wrinkles, it was bulging, and it was different from what I had seen when I was a child, and it was a lot ugly."
He spoke very bluntly, like describing a strange middle-aged woman.
"As soon as she saw me, she opened her arms to hug me and called Song, very affectionate, as if we were a very close mother and child. But I don't remember how old I was the last time I saw her."
Fang Juexia felt a little distressed, "Then when you were young, didn't you miss your mother?"
"If you have a mother, you will miss your mother." Pei Tingsong said.
Fang Juexia chewed this sentence repeatedly in her heart, and it was particularly bitter.
"I remember when I was four years old, she came back once in a while. It was my grandfather's birthday. On that day, she was wearing a black dress. Standing next to him was a very tall man who was one of her boyfriends. Grandpa asked me to pass. Find her, say hello to her, I passed, but did not speak, so I looked up at her."
Just listening to him, Fang Juexia had a scene before her eyes. A child so small, thinking about it, feels very behaving and pitiful.
"Her boyfriend is French, and he speaks with a heavy accent." Pei Tingsong can still imitate his mouthful tone, "Who is this little guy?"
"'Oh, this is my nephew.' My mother said." Pei Tingsong smiled, "So at that time, I said hello to that man in French, and then went back to my grandpa."
Fang Juexia couldn't imagine that a mother could not even admit her own child. He was suddenly angry, he seldom gets angry, "Why do you want to do this to you, it's too much."
He bit the last four words very hard, Pei Tingsong thought it was a little cute, and raised his hand to rub the center of his wringed eyebrows.
Feeling that Fang Juexia’s face was a bit cold, Pei Tingsong raised the air conditioner twice and held his hand. “She explained later, in front of my grandfather. She said she loves this man very much, but he doesn’t She likes children, so she doesn't get into trouble, so she said that."
To her, it was just an innocuous little lie.
"Thinking about it this way, she hasn't changed."
For her, she is always a tool that can be used to please others at any time.
Fang Juexia raised her head, and gently pressed a kiss to his chin, chatting with comfort. Pei Tingsong was actually not that sad, and it didn't hurt to remember it.
"You don't know, she said she missed me when she saw me, I told her to stop acting, and said I knew you just wanted to take away the inheritance left to me by grandpa. She said no, baby you misunderstood, he just republished , Won’t really take away your things, mom still loves you."
He learned the tone of his mother, his expression was affectionate, and he also said intimate words. Then slowly, the expression on Pei Tingsong's face cooled down and gradually calmed down.
"You see, in order to achieve the goal, she can lay a big lie." Pei Tingsong smiled, "People are people, and the title of parents does not make them great, and even contaminates this title."
Fang Juexia didn't want to see him sad, so she stroked his back. He didn't know what he should say, as if saying everything was very weak. Pei Tingsong has never felt any parental love and maternal love, these things that are not difficult for ordinary children to obtain, he has never owned them for a moment.
He thought, fortunately, Pei Tingsong did not grow up in China, so he does not have to be required to write articles like "My Father" or "My Mother" in every composition class, or even read them out in public.
There was even a picture in front of him. Pei Tingsong held a blank paper in his small hand, only the title, nothing else.
What did such a small child do so that he naturally accepts the fact that he is not loved by his parents, and conversely comforts him.
Fang Juexia couldn't help but shed tears.
The sky outside the window darkened, the rain stopped for a long time, and a red twilight diffused in the gray sky. Pei Tingsong looked up and felt that the light resembled the birthmark on Fang Juexia's face.
So he looked down at his lover again, only to realize that he was crying again.
"What's wrong? I'm okay, really." Pei Tingsong kissed his birthmark, his eyes, and his lips were wet with tears and pecked his lips twice, "I'm not sad anymore. So I This time I went back just for official business. I am an adult and have all my inheritance settled. She can’t take anything from me. My sister also prevented her from continuing to contact me, threatened her, and harassed me and She, his boyfriend’s publishing business, don’t even think about doing it well."
"Your sister is very good to you." Fang Juexia rubbed her eyes and said, "She helps you every time. You have to be nice to her in the future."
Pei Listening to Song laughed, "You are right, you are all right."
"You are very similar, both a little weird, but they are all kind people."
"You have never seen her."
Fang Juexia raised her eyelids, a bit complaining, "But I know."
"Well, you know. You know everything." Pei Tingsong smiled helplessly, but heard Fang Juexia say to him.
"Pei Ting Song, you look good when you smile."
This was the first time Fang Juexia praised him for his good looks. Pei Tingsong first thought Fang Juexia was cute and wanted to laugh. He felt strange again. Sometimes watching Fang Juexia was like watching a child. It was obvious that he was so old, he was even older than himself. But sometimes, he felt that he was also a child in Fang Juexia's eyes, because he always smiled at him with tolerance and love.
Without waiting for his response, Fang Juexia said again, "I love you very much, and I will give you a lot of love, more than that of mom and dad combined, okay?"
His voice was too gentle, and his words were a little childish. How does love add, subtract, multiply and divide.
But Pei Tingsong knew that he was sincere, and Fang Juexia was the person who likes to do math most in the world. His calculation must be correct, and it must be more than the sum totaled by everyone.
"good."
Fang Juexia lay in his arms, saying that he still wanted to hear about his childhood. Pei Tingsong picked up some pleasant talks. For example, he and his grandfather went to the lake to fish for rainbow trout, and the fish tuned up died after being put in the swimming pool. For example, he messed up his sister’s birthday party and stole her. First car.
Without saying too much, Fang Juexia fell asleep with exhaustion, breathing heavily, and her chest relaxed together. But his hand still held Pei Tingsong's clothes tightly.
Pei Tingsong didn't continue speaking, he just looked at Fang Juexia's sleeping face so quietly.
Obviously he didn't get much, but he wanted to make up for him.
What a strange person.
After Fang Juexia was completely asleep, Pei Tingsong got up gently, picked up the phone and left the room. He went to the living room and made a phone call with the previous personal bodyguard to confirm the progress of the matter. He was always uneasy, and arranged a few people to stare at. After the end, he called Cheng Qiang again and told him that he had come back but had the flu. He also said that Fang Juexia had promised to take care of him and that he might not go back to the dormitory these days for fear of infection.
It is rare for Cheng Qiang to rest for a few days, so he didn't ask much, just let him recover from his illness. Pei Tingsong nodded in response, hung up the phone, took a shower, changed into clean clothes, returned to the bed, and fell asleep holding Fang Juexia, who loves the cleanest.
He could finally fall asleep and even had a dream.
In the dream, he became short and small, wearing a very expensive but uncomfortable little suit. People are everywhere in the dream, they are dancing and eating. A sense of familiarity emerged a little, and he returned to the day of his grandfather's birthday.
Pei Tingsong tried to find where his grandfather was, but when he raised his foot, he saw a beautiful woman calling him by his name, calling him baby. He was disgusted, so he ran in the other direction and ran out of the house. It was dark. He ran to the garden full of yellow roses and hid behind the bushes.
This overlaps with his memory.
He remembered that he was hiding in the bushes so lonely, thinking about the difference between his nephew and his son, until the servant found out and took him back.
There was a noise in the grass. In the dream, the little Pei Tingsong was a little alert. He wanted to know whether it was a squirrel or his servant.
But as soon as he looked up, he saw a beautiful child, taller than him, wearing the most common clothes, but he was very good-looking, and there was a pink birthmark in the corner of his eye. He seemed to be invisible, so he stretched his arm forward and touched it, slowly coming to his side step by step.
He couldn't see, but he found Pei Tingsong who was hiding.
After getting closer, Pei Tingsong discovered that he had a plaster on his left leg, leaning on a cane, and bruises on his arm.
"Are you here to wish my grandfather a happy birthday?" Pei Tingsong asked.
The kid shook his head, "I'm looking for you."
Pei Tingsong's eyes lit up, "You want to be friends with me, don't you?"
He nodded, "Yeah."
"How old are you?" Pei Tingsong first said by himself, "I am four years old this year."
"Seven years old."
"You are older than me, I have to call your brother." Pei Tingsong said, "You are injured."
He nodded, "I didn't know I couldn't see, so I fell down. Then the doctor said that I would lose sight of everything when it was dark."
"Then you still come to me." Xiao Pei did not understand, "Your leg is also broken, and the sky is so dark again, come to me."
Who knows, that beautiful brother turned his face and smiled at him, "I want to come."
"I promised you to compensate you."