The drop of blood rolled over his lips and dripped onto Li Qishen's collar. He was completely unaware and still held Xie Wangzhi loosely. His hand on her shoulder tightened, almost touching her shoulder, but leaving a line so that she wouldn't notice. The tighter his hand was, the more obvious the bluish-white color seeping through his skin, and the deeper the resentment Li Qishen hid in his heart, burning him day and night, as if he wanted to burn him to ashes.
There were some words he couldn't say to Xie Wangzhi. They could only rot in his heart. The thing beating in his chest was like a rotten fruit. Every time it beat, it caused unbearable pain.
This is Daming Palace, this is his father and brother. If the blood of Longxi Li family can be cut off like hands and feet, Li Qishen will swing the sword without hesitation, but he can't, he can only shed the blood that makes him feel sad and angry, and live in shame.
He gritted his teeth, his shoulders tensed, but when he spoke again, he was very calm, as if he had not said anything at all: "So, do you hate me?"
"Why should I... resent you?" Xie Wangzhi didn't understand.
"It was my father who killed your friend, and it was he who was going to kill those palace maids." Li Qishen looked at the dancing sparks in the stove, "Even if I don't want to admit it, I am his son, and my ancestors have never been bright and clear."
He whispered, "My blood is so dirty."
Xie Wangzhi didn't answer, nor did he move, just stood there blankly.
Although their skin was not touching, they were not far from each other. Li Qishen could vaguely feel her intense heartbeat. Her heartbeat was so fast, but her body was stiff. Xie Wangzhi said nothing and let him hold her. The rejection she showed was genuine. Li Qishen looked down and could clearly see the goose bumps that suddenly appeared on her neck.
He suddenly found it funny, but then he felt powerless again. Li Qishen thought, it was as it should be. He rolled in the mud, with hatred that wanted to burn himself to death, but Xie Wangzhi was different. She had a clear distinction between love and hate, so she should stay away from him...
"No."
Before Li Qishen finished thinking, he suddenly felt a weight on his shoulder. He was caught off guard and was pushed a few steps forward by Xie Wangzhi. He looked over in surprise. The girl in front of him was still angry, her face was red, and she looked at him angrily. There was a thin mist in her eyes. At first glance, he thought she was going to cry because of anger.
"I won't blame you, and I won't allow you to think that way." Xie Wangzhi paused, "People can't choose their own birth. No matter how bad your father is, what does it have to do with you? You are you, you have your own way to go. Why do you tie yourself to your father and brother?"
Li Qishen's pupils shrank: "You..."
"You go your own way and know what is right and what is wrong, that's enough." Xie Wangzhi paused, "As long as you are not like them, I won't blame you. I said you are my friend, I don't care about anything else."
“…Okay.” Li Qishen’s heart trembled when he heard this. His tongue rolled, but only one word came out.
"So don't worry, I can tell the difference. I do hate you, but I can't avenge Yu Pan. It's my incompetence. I won't hate you for it." Xie Wangzhi had no idea what was going on in his mind. He just thought he understood and smiled at him, "It's getting late. You should go back."
Li Qishen responded: "If you encounter anything, you don't have to go to the Jiaofang this time. You can just ask someone to pass the message to Qingsi Palace."
Xie Wangzhi nodded, smiled again, turned his back, scooped hot water from the pot, his expression was calm, but his hand holding the long-handled wooden spoon was trembling slightly.
Li Qishen had sharp eyes and saw this little secret action, but he just pretended not to see it and turned to walk out. The small kitchen was so small that he only took a few steps to push the door open and close it behind him.
Hearing the door closing with a creak behind him, he did not raise his legs immediately, but leaned against the door for a moment. Li Qishen looked at the clouds in the sky, and a few winter birds flew through his amber eyes. He said silently: "... How do you know that you can't take revenge?"
**
After they parted that day, the matter was over, and Xie Wangzhi hadn't seen Li Qishen much since then until the end of February. Li Qishen seemed to be busy with the Qianqiu Festival, and most of the time he asked Meiqiu to deliver something, and the occasional meeting was also hurried.
Xie Wangzhi didn't think too much about not meeting each other, not to mention that there were many things in the room that annoyed her. After all, she had completely torn her face with Xue Geshu, and she originally wanted to move to another room, but it happened to be the time of the selection and the palace maids who were of age were leaving the palace. As a result, the empty rooms in the Shangshi Bureau were filled up, and some rooms even had extra couches for people to stay temporarily. Xie Wangzhi was too embarrassed to ask for it.
Fortunately, Xue Geshu seemed to be frightened by Li Qishen. She knelt firmly in the room until Lou Hanyue and Sun Shuirong were about to come back. After all, she was a noble lady and had never knelt like this in her life. She was a little lame that night and walked with a limp for half a month. Her legs and feet were not good, and she was honest. Xie Wangzhi didn't know if she would say those things behind his back again, but at least she didn't make trouble normally, and she didn't ask for help in everything like before. They ignored each other and could live together.
On the day of Shangsi Festival, Li Qishen did not go to the Qujiang Banquet, but came to the Shangshi Bureau. However, he seemed to be in a hurry, as if he was running from Qingsi Hall to the Shangshi Bureau, which made him look exhausted.
The palace ladies didn't celebrate the Shangsi Festival, so they couldn't play Qushui Liushang. Xie Wangzhi gave him the mugwort cakes and flower cakes that Chunli had eaten. Li Qishen didn't have much appetite, so he just tasted a little. He was a little absent-minded when he spoke, and he kept raising his hand to scratch the place where his shoulder and neck met, intentionally or unintentionally.
Xie Wangzhi felt strange: "What's wrong with you? Are your clothes inappropriate?"
“…No.” Li Qishen didn’t want to say it at first, but then he thought it was unnecessary to hide it. “It’s a rash.”
He didn't think too much about it. There was no need to be particularly shy about that spot, so he simply pulled open his collar a little to show Xie Wangzhi. Li Qishen had fair skin, and the rash on his collarbone looked even more frightening. The tiny red dots were connected together, and he couldn't help scratching it, so he rubbed it against his collar, and the small area turned red. At first glance, he thought it was a large birthmark.
Xie Wangzhi was shocked: "This... Have you been to the Imperial Medical Bureau for a checkup?"
"I've seen it, and they say it's taboo to plant some flowers at this time. I guess I just accidentally brushed past it, but I can't tell what flower it was." Li Qishen got annoyed when he thought about it, "The doctor prescribed some medicine, and I have to drink it for ten days straight."
"Is this medicine effective?" Xie Wangzhi looked at the rash over there and felt his intuition was not very reliable.
"It's effective, I guess." Li Qishen said listlessly, "No new lesions have appeared anywhere else, and the number of lesions hasn't increased, but it hasn't gotten better, and it's still itchy."
Xie Wangzhi stared at the small red rash for a while, saying "Wait a minute", and ran back to the house. He ran back again, holding a small porcelain bottle in his hand and opened the lid directly: "Why don't you prescribe an external application medicine? This is what I used before. It's not very effective, but it can relieve the itching."
The itching was so severe that he couldn't sleep well at night. Li Qishen tried everything but applied any medicine first. He nodded and reached out to dip in some ointment, but Xie Wangzhi had already scooped out a soybean-sized amount from the bottle and pressed it directly on his collarbone.
This medicine really can stop itching, and the chill is piercing. When it is applied to the skin, Li Qishen shivers. He immediately finds Xie Wangzhi very close to him, and her fingertips touch the thin ointment on his body. The girl's breathing rises and falls, and when it falls, he trembles all over.
Li Qishen looked down and found that Xie Wangzhi seemed to have grown a little taller than in the first month of the year. The weather had been getting warmer recently, so she changed into spring clothes. The chest-length straps were tied tightly in front of her chest, and she could vaguely see some undulations underneath, not obvious, like buds hidden in the soil, waiting to break out of the soil when the weather got warmer.
He felt his throat tighten inexplicably and took two steps back.
"… Hey," Xie Wangzhi said, his fingertips still stained with ointment, puzzled, "Why are you running? You haven't evenly applied it yet."
"… It's too cold." Li Qishen's mind was in a mess, and he didn't understand what he felt just now, so he said casually, "I feel a little uncomfortable inside."
The ointment is indeed cool, but it feels normal after applying it. Xie Wangzhi didn't expect Li Qishen to react so strongly. He just thought that this area was particularly delicate because it was usually wrapped in clothes. "It's supposed to be cool, so it can suppress the itch. Is it still itchy now?"
Li Qishen quickly tightened his collar, his fingertips fell on the collar, slid down a few inches for no reason, scratched his chest, and said vaguely: "It's okay."
"Right?" Xie Wangzhi was oblivious. He closed the porcelain bottle with a smile and handed it to him. "This ointment will seep in after a while and won't last long. I'll give it to you. I can't use it anyway."
Li Qishen took the bottle and twisted it as if unintentionally when he put it in his arms: "Thank you."
"It's okay." Xie Wangzhi was a little worried. "By the way, I also had a rash when I ate fruits from the Western Regions. The doctor at that time said that you can't use too hot water for bathing. Remember that and don't eat irritating foods."
Li Qishen nodded and thought for a moment: "Okay, I'll remember that. I'll go back right away."
He had only been here for a short time and hadn't even taken a few bites of the mugwort cake. Xie Wangzhi didn't understand why he was in such a hurry, but he didn't stop him. He smiled and nodded: "Okay, see you next time. I'll make you something else."
Li Qishen responded casually, turned around and hurried out, keeping his head down all the way, and only raised his eyes when he was about to reach Qingsi Palace.
The porcelain bottle in his arms was pressing against his chest. The spring breeze blew over him, but it was not very warm, and yet he felt his cheeks burning. Even though he was in danger that year, Li Qishen had never been so flustered. He just couldn't figure out where this thing that made him irritable and excited came from, and he was so annoyed that he wanted to pull his hair.
The area under the collar where the ointment was applied was no longer itchy, and even had a slight coolness, but other areas became hot, and the heart was itchy for no reason. The breath was also hot, and Li Qishen raised his hand to test it, and it felt like swallowing a mouthful of magma.
He stood in front of the gate of Qingsi Palace for a while, wiped his face, and went straight to the bathing area in the side hall.
The author has something to say: Let us all spit on Changsheng, (specifically designated) he is lustful, shameless, and not an excellent Jinjiang male lead (pointing fingers)
Changsheng: (Although no one hit him, he started running around holding his head) Ancestral-inherited-