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Chapter 50: Pray

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Xuanyuan Hall.

It was still snowing outside, and the sky was gloomy. The lights in the hall had to be lit early, but the fire was not bright enough to illuminate any corners, not even the entire spirit tablet. Some words written with gold powder and cinnabar were in the shadows, blurry and unclear. The curtains were hanging down, and occasionally the wind would blow and lift a corner, making it look vague and ethereal, like a creeping ghost.

Li Qishen was not afraid. He knelt on the cushion in front of the spirit tablet, his hands on his knees, his eyes half closed. The warm yellow light fell on his hair and body, making the boy look like a jade sculpture, with a hint of divinity. If you stood at the door and looked at him, you would probably mistake it for an emperor who had appeared in spirit and transformed into a boy.

Besides him, there was another person in Xuanyuan Hall, slightly hunched over and with white hair. He was the eunuch in charge of the case during the reign of Emperor Pingxing, Zhong Qingman. He was about the same age as Emperor Pingxing and was now over 60 years old. After the late emperor passed away, he had been guarding the tablets in Xuanyuan Hall day after day.

"… Your Highness, you have been kneeling for a long time." Zhong Qingman slowly moved to Li Qishen's side and spoke slowly, "Forgive me for being so presumptuous, what's wrong with you?"

Li Qishen didn't open his eyes. He didn't dislike the old man and his attitude was quite gentle: "Nothing, I just suddenly wanted to come and pay my respects. If I can't stay long, I'll leave now."

"No, no... there is no such rule." Zhong Qingman hurriedly stopped him, "Hey, you are a descendant of the Longxi Li family. It is reasonable for you to come here to meet your ancestors. It doesn't matter how long it takes. The late emperor will be happy if he can see it."

Li Qishen actually didn't believe this. He came to Xuanyuan Hall just to find a quiet place. But after hearing the old man's calm and gentle words, his heart moved slightly and he couldn't help but open his eyes: "Emperor Pingxing?"

"Oh, yes." Zhong Qingman nodded slowly, "He actually liked children very much. It's a pity that he passed away so early. I guess you don't have any impression of him, right?"

"I remember when my grandfather passed away, I was only four years old and didn't know much."

"It makes sense... After so many years, you've grown up." Zhong Qingman served Emperor Pingxing for his entire life, and he looked at Li Qishen with extra affection, as if he were his own grandson. "The late emperor only had one child, Your Majesty, and although he didn't like to talk, he actually had a lot on his mind, and his feelings for the child were genuine. I once saw him get up at night and take out the silver bracelet Your Majesty wore when he was a child and look through it... but he couldn't say it out loud."

He sighed, "The late emperor passed away too early, too hastily... There are some things that I can't say in time, and I will never have the chance to say them again."

Li Qishen probably knew that Emperor Pingxing was overworked and worried. It took only two days from the time he fell ill to the time he passed away. The Imperial Medical Bureau hadn't figured out what the illness was, but a long white banner was hung in front of the Changsheng Palace. He nodded, "Is that so? I don't know what kind of person my grandfather was."

Zhong Qingman smiled slightly: "Do you want to know?"

"Why not?" Li Qishen said, "Master, please take a seat. I guess this story is a bit long."

Zhong Qingman was stunned for a moment, then smiled again, shook his head, and imitated Li Qishen, slowly kneeling on the mat. He was not feeling well either, and from standing to sitting, his chest ached, and he coughed twice before he could slowly speak.

"It's not possible to describe a person in just a few words. Just think about it, a person of that age, who lived for decades, can't be described in a few lines by the attendant." Zhong Qingman said slowly, "I served the late emperor for more than forty years, so I don't know how much, but I know much more than them."

"Yes." Li Qishen responded, "Please speak, Master."

"He was a good man, a very good man, but unfortunately he didn't know it and he suffered all his life." Zhong Qingman said, "The late emperor was the youngest son of Emperor Zhaoxuan. At that time, His Royal Highness Prince Yu should have succeeded to the throne, but unfortunately this prince was wild and ran away from Chang'an... He did come back once or twice later, but five years after the late emperor ascended the throne, His Royal Highness Prince Yu left the capital and has been missing since then. He never returned to Chang'an."

Li Qishen was stunned: "You don't even want the throne?"

"Some things are like this, those who want them fight for them, while those who don't want them find them too hot to hold." Zhong Qingman sighed and mentioned the old stories of the royal family without any hesitation, "This matter weighed on the late emperor's mind. He always felt that the throne was given to him by his brother, and he was tied to the throne his whole life... It was so hard, so hard. He had white hair in his thirties, and in the end he was only fifty, but his hair was completely white."

“… I’ve never heard my father say that.”

"Come to think of it, I really won't mention it. I guess your Majesty is probably still blaming the late emperor."

"Um?"

"Your Highness, you know that Qingning Palace became an abandoned palace after a fire, right?"

"I know." Li Qishen said, "It was originally the Queen's residence, but my grandmother didn't live there at the time. She lived in Penglai Palace instead."

"The fire started when your Majesty accidentally knocked over a candlestick."

Li Qishen was startled and looked at Zhong Qingman in surprise.

"Your Majesty had bad people around him back then. A few eunuchs played tricks on him and instigated him to go to Qingning Palace, which led to the fire. Everything used by Empress Jingmu was burned to ashes. Emperor Zhaoxuan was already in poor health at the time and could not bear to see this. He did not survive that winter." Zhong Qingman said calmly, "The late emperor was so angry that he whipped Your Majesty and made him stay on the bed for half a year before he could get up."

Li Qishen felt that his grandfather was still too soft-hearted. He looked serious and uttered a low "hmm".

"At that time, Empress Wen had already passed away. There was no one to smooth things over, so the feud was established. The late emperor and Your Majesty never spoke to each other again. Even if they did, it was the emperor talking to the prince, not the father and his son." Zhong Qingman said, "But I know that the late emperor actually missed Your Majesty in his heart. Who wouldn't miss the child he gave birth to?"

Li Qishen thought that this was not necessarily the case, and he was afraid that he would have to score points, but he followed Zhong Qingman and said, "That's right. Is grandfather's personality like his great-grandfather or great-grandmother?"

"Neither of them look alike." Zhong Qingman thought for a moment, "If I have to say, then it's probably more like Emperor Zhaoxuan, who likes to be sullen. Empress Jingmu would never be like that."

"Really?" Li Qishen had always thought that her great-grandmother was a woman like the Queen of Heaven, fierce, good at politics, and ambitious, because she was called "Empress Jingmu" instead of "Empress Shen" in history books. "Was my great-grandmother very fierce, or very dignified?"

"You're wrong. They have nothing to do with each other. Empress Jingmu doesn't put on airs, and doesn't care about etiquette. She follows her heart and does whatever she wants. But you can't find fault with her."

Li Qishen frowned: "Great-grandfather doesn't care?"

"How can others know about the affairs between husband and wife? Perhaps Emperor Zhaoxuan loved Empress Jingmu for the way she was." Zhong Qingman said, "Just take the music of the Jiaofang for example. Empress Jingmu loved the Huxuan dance, so there were many vigorous and charming music in the palace. When she listened to the Nichang Yuyi music, she just frowned. During the reign of Emperor Zhaoxuan, this music was never played in the palace again."

Li Qishen thought this was a bit exaggerated, but then he thought it was okay. There were so many songs in the Jiaofang, and he would not die if he did not play one. What's wrong with trying to please others? He was silent for a moment: "I don't know. I read the history books, and the recorder wrote that Emperor Zhaoxuan and Empress Jingmu treated each other with respect. I thought there was no love between them."

"These little things are all made up. Who doesn't hope that the emperor and the empress would get along? As they wrote, they got too harmonious." Zhong Qingman shook his head. "So, Your Highness, you see, after just a few decades, people will be different in other people's mouths. When I am buried, there will be one less person who knows about these things... Sooner or later, no one will know."

These words were a bit sad. Li Qishen felt that nothing he said would be appropriate, so he simply kept silent.

Zhong Qingman didn't care. He supported himself on the ground and stood up with difficulty: "Your Highness, would you like to light a few lamps?"

Li Qishen understood that this lamp was to be placed in front of the spirit tablet. He nodded and stood up: "Please, Master, pass the light."

It's said to pass the fire, but you can't strike the flint in Xuanyuan Hall. Zhong Qingman responded, holding the flashlight that he had kept for the purpose, and approached Li Qishen: "Your Highness, please."

Li Qishen nodded, picked up the kindling stick, and gently burned the flame of the hand lamp, then lit the wick in front of the spirit tablet, one by one. When all were lit, the row of lamps in front of the spirit tablet lit up, and the flames shone on the spirit tablet, making the gold powder sparkle.

Li Qishen blew out the stick and handed it to Zhong Qingman. He lifted the hem of his round-necked robe and knelt on the mat again. He closed his eyes and let his thick eyelashes fall.

Just now, a man knelt for so long and chatted with Zhong Qingman for a while. He thought it very clearly. The past is the past. No matter how much he did when he was alive, even if he could leave his name in history, it would only be a few lines. When future generations interpret it, it will be a mess. It is a face-saving thing if they don't make a mistake in his name.

Instead of looking ahead and behind and thinking about the reputation you will have after you die, it is better to cherish what you have now.

"The ancestors of the Li family are above. Times have changed. The people in front of me are too far away. I am afraid they have no time to care about me. Then I can only ask my grandfather and great-grandfather nearby." Li Qishen lowered his head, his lips slightly opened and closed, and he said silently, "Now I am stuck in the mud in the palace, and it is difficult to walk. Moreover, my father is not a father, and my brother is not a brother. Should I respect my father and brother, let them torture me, and wait for death?"

Of course, no one answered. He pondered for a moment, then suddenly opened his eyes. His light amber pupils reflected the candlelight in front of the memorial tablet. Fragments of gold flowed in his pupils, and for a moment, it seemed as if he had opened his brilliant golden pupils. He looked at the memorial tablet and spoke silently, "I will never."

He suddenly stood up and turned to walk outside. "Thank you for bothering me today, Master."

The boy came in a hurry and left in a hurry. Before Zhong Qingman responded, Li Qishen had already gone somewhere. The snow outside had not stopped yet. Fine and broken snow fell, forming a thin layer on the brick and stone ground. A series of footprints led straight to the distance.

Zhong Qingman shook his head, slowly moved to the window, reached out to close the window, wiped the fine snow blown by the wind on his face, held the window, and slowly turned around.

The moment he turned around, he found that all the lights that Li Qishen had lit in front of the memorial tablet had gone out, not a single flame remained.

The author has something to say: Let me write a little about the family tree, as a narration of the past. I feel like it can't fit into the plot, so I'm going to talk directly (put the microphone in my mouth). Li Chengjing is not born to be so stupid. In the final analysis, it is because of the early loss of his mother + his father is not good at expressing emotions + lack of education + the appearance of unsuitable people during his growth. He is both inferior and conceited. He wants to prove that he is better than his ancestors, but he can't do it. He can only give up, do things that are difficult to understand, and hypnotize himself "I am better than them all." Then it turned into jealousy and resentment towards his father, grandfather and even ancestors, and passed on this abnormal negative emotion to the next generation, madly oppressing the prince and Changsheng.

From this perspective, both of his sons are victims, suffering from mental torture, extreme pain, unable to live, and unwilling to die. The prince is indecisive, in addition to genetic problems, partly because he has been oppressed by his father since he was young. He hates and fears his father, but dares not resist. As a brother, he wants to treat Changsheng well and pass on his pain, so he hates him. And if you remove the protagonist's halo (such as my description of Changsheng's beauty and psychology), Changsheng is not a normal person. He has a strong possessiveness and revenge, and his moral values are not strong. He even enjoys the pain of people he doesn't like (such as the Crown Princess).

Changsheng had endured for fifteen years, and only now did he really make up his mind to seek revenge. Of course, no matter how much he begged, Wuyou (? ) was cold and resolute, and would definitely not pay any attention to him.

The next chapter will start talking about the last love of my teenage years... Uh, no, Jinjiang does not allow minors to have love affairs. It is pure friendship, um, friendship (serious). Then I will jump to the timeline hehehe