It was already dark when Xiaolu woke up, Zhixi's mother-in-law was cooking, and Shen Jianfeng had been standing beside the bed absentmindedly.
When I opened my eyes, I realized that I was still alive, but everything had changed.
"Jianfeng." Dragging her tired body, Xiaolu took a closer look at the person in front of her, and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
Jianfeng knew how embarrassed or unsightly he looked now, so he said: "I'm fine, Xiaolu, I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"Where am I?" Xiaoluzi looked at everything unfamiliar during the weekend, and then looked at Jianfeng who had woken up. She didn't know how long she had been sleeping, and she didn't know what it was like outside now. She asked: "How long has it been?"
When asking questions, Xiaoluzi tried hard to move her legs, only to find that she had lost feeling in her legs. When she tried to use her hands to brew internal strength, she realized that she could no longer be the same as before.
She suddenly became anxious and said, "I can't seem to do anything."
At this time, Xiaoluzi looked around to see where the Blue Blood Sword was. After a long time, when she looked at the green sword on the table, her heart suddenly sank. She said: "So that's it."
After sighing, she looked at Shen Jianfeng calmly and said: "Jianfeng, I am very grateful that you are still with me at this moment, but I may not treat you as before. This time, I don't know how long I have been asleep. When I woke up and saw the original you for the first time, I was excited and secretly happy. To be honest, it was not easy for us to get to where we are now, it is really not easy. But I no longer have the courage to grasp happiness. , do you understand what I’m saying?”
Because we understand, we are compassionate.
This was Xiaolu versus Jianfeng in the past, but now, no matter how much she pays and understands, she can never go back to the beginning.
"Xiaolu, I don't blame you. To be honest, I have always been sorry for you. Now that I am like this, it is all my own fault." Shen Jianfeng smiled, then turned around and quickly found the medicine on the table. Bowl, he touched the body temperature outside the bowl, sniffed it with his nose when he got closer, and after making sure that the temperature was suitable, he came to Xiaoluzi's bed again, sat down gently, and gently used the spoon in his hand to He gently took a spoonful and walked gently in the direction of Xiaoluzi.
"Drink the medicine first. No matter what choice you make, I will respect you. After all, I am no longer worthy of that persistent you, so you should take good care of your body first, even if you are If you want to pursue your happiness again, I will never stop you, I will bless you." Shen Jianfeng said softly.
Xiao Luzi stared blankly at the person in front of her. The long-lost tenderness finally made her see it again, but the time and place had changed. Now she was as embarrassed as him. Looking at her, she began to cry unconsciously. But she didn't even take a breath, she didn't want him to know how uncomfortable she was at the moment.
They've hurt each other enough, and now it's time to let go.
Shen Jianfeng carefully fed the little deer the medicine, and the little deer also shed tears and silently accepted it all. Her beautiful eyes always looked at Jianfeng affectionately, but the wry smile on the corner of her mouth never stopped.
After a long time, Xiaoluzi still couldn't hold it in anymore, so he asked: "Jianfeng, after all these years, is there anything you want to say to me?"
To be honest, she didn't know what she was expecting, but she always felt like she wanted to let go of something.
After Shen Jianfeng placed the bowl, he found a bench and sat down quietly. He was facing Xiaoluzi's direction and said to her meticulously: "Actually, I have a lot to say. I just don't know if you want to hear it."
"Just say it." For some reason, Xiaoluzi suddenly choked up again.
Shen Jianfeng panicked all of a sudden. He immediately advised: "Xiaolu, don't be sad. Even if you let me go, don't be sad anymore. I always talk about the debts of the past life and the sins of this life. But you never owe me anything, but I don't." It hurt you the most, my silly girl, I hate myself so much for why I let go of your hand in the first place."
As Shen Jianfeng talked, he shed tears, and Xiaoluzi's eyes were also very red.
"Yes." She returned, "Actually, I have always known that you are sincere to me. A person's expression can't deceive, even in the past. I have never questioned you. What's more, you really follow me. Came to this world, so I am more convinced that you are real."
Let go of the past and talk about it. In fact, everything has become a lot easier.
"Xiaolu, didn't you keep asking me why I had to leave you in the first place?" Shen Jianfeng said.
Xiaolu nodded, "Well, yes, this is the obstacle that has troubled me for three years. In the three years of college and the three years of going abroad, I actually didn't have a good life. I was lazy and weird."
Some people always say that when one sincerity meets another sincerity, the fire of love will collide. But often when we encounter it, there are always endless mistakes that make you lose it inexplicably.
"Actually, I know, I know everything." Shen Jianfeng replied, his expression tightened and he kept shaking his head, "It's strange to say that we were so good at the beginning. I think I really love you, So no matter what happens, I want to be in front of you. Later, a girl named Princess appeared in the class. In fact, she just came from a good family and had a gang background, so she has always been liked by everyone. I believe you are knew."
"Yeah. I know." Xiaoluzi nodded and smiled.
"Actually. At that time. It's really strange to say that why my roommate had some kind of relationship with her and it was all on me, but I bravely took on it all. Speaking of which, I was really young and frivolous at the time. I just knew Bear everything for others. Later, when I was with her, I saw you in the corridor of the school. I saw your anxious look and your helpless eyes. I still remember it at the time. I only knew that I was hurt. You, but I didn’t know you would be hurt so deeply, until one day, you stopped coming to school, and your parents suddenly came to me. They said you were going to study abroad, and told me that the only thing I could do for you was not to Contact you again.”
Xiaoluzi listened carefully, Shen Jianfeng nodded and continued: "At that time, I thought I could do it. I thought that was how young feelings were. After all, you know my family situation. My parents didn't see each other all year round. Later, my My mother committed suicide due to depression, and my father remembered me. I had just transferred to another school at that time, and I didn’t expect to meet you. I still remember that at that time, you not only had excellent grades, but also had a crush on many boys. You, so we often discussed you together, and it wasn’t until we sat at the same table one day that I realized that you are such a simple and kind-hearted good girl at heart.”
"Since that's what you think in your heart, then why do you have to do that? You can find other ways to solve it." Xiaoluzi asked stupidly.
In her eyes, there are many roads, but the person taking them decides his own direction and what he wants. Our own hearts do not need to be influenced by others.
"Yes! You are right, but it took me three years to understand what you said. Only when I knew how painful it was to stay with someone I don't love, did I realize that I was wrong. But I no longer had the courage to look back. I was afraid that if I came to find you, you would have forgotten everything. But three years later, you came back, and when you questioned me in the bar, it was already the time when I decided to be with her. When I got married, to be honest, I only had responsibilities in my heart at that time, but I forgot the responsibilities I should have towards you."
Perhaps feeling very uncomfortable, Shen Jianfeng took a breath, then let it out deeply, and continued.
"Life is like an airtight wall. Then the more we fight, the more courageous we become, trying to hide it. Xiaoluzi, how many three years are there in life, and how many three years do we have to go back to? I know that I am I will never be able to hold you up again in my life. Although I am not willing to do so, I still decided to give up. After all, I have seen too many couples separated because of trivial things in life, and I am really afraid. I am afraid that one day, You, such an excellent person, will quietly leave me. Just like of course my mother left me, I am so helpless, so lonely."
It’s sad for those who say it, and it’s even sadder for those who listen.
"Jianfeng, you know? You are really insecure. You are like that hedgehog, retracting at any time. But even if I am bruised and bruised, I still don't want to give up on you. I'm wondering if there is such a moment , you are brave, you are proactive, and you are not afraid of being hurt again."
"Xiaolu, I'm really sorry." Shen Jianfeng said: "There are many reasons. Maybe in the final analysis, my heart is too fragile, so I let you go and haven't even contacted you for several years. Really."
"It doesn't matter, I have forgiven you a long time ago. After all, the fact that you came to this world with me shows that you are still the brave you before. But I didn't expect that my parents would come to find you. This is what I didn't expect Yes, by the way, what did they say to you?" Xiaolu asked.
"They said that you and I are not suitable. You need a shoulder to lean on, and all I give you is hurt. Moreover, your parents are a bit superstitious as they do business. They calculated that we are not compatible. So they He also made it clear that we can't be together. So, Xiaolu, do you understand? I thought that when we came to this world, we could really be together, but it turned out that we were still happy." Shen Jianfeng smiled.
Unconsciously, both of them felt much better, and Xu really decided to feel relieved.
Xiaolu said: "Then let's go back to being good friends from now on."
Therefore, Shen Jianfeng quickly agreed.
"good."
This sound came back quickly, but it always felt heavy. That feeling of sinking into the sea is no longer floating.