When I came back to talk about the child that day, Aunt Huang knew what they were talking about as soon as I mentioned it, and asked, "Did his grandfather take it out?"
Some say yes.
Mentioning these things always makes people feel heavy.
"It must be that his grandma wants him to go out again, otherwise Lao Ye would never lead him." Aunt Huang said while serving them dishes, "He can live so much thanks to his grandma. His grandfather took him away and threw him away, but he couldn’t stand his grandma’s death and then brought him back, and his grandma sometimes committed suicide and hanged himself, so he saved a little life, throwing him away means death, who wants it.”
"What about the welfare home?"
Aunt Huang said: "We used to be poor here, and we didn't build this tourist village at that time. It was just an ordinary rural area. Where did the orphanage come from? Now there is no orphanage. Besides, the orphanage doesn't accept everything. There are families and families. Elders are not accepted."
Aunt Huang sighed, and then said: "Lao Ye never wanted him to live. Every time he threw it in the woods of Qiaodongzi, the child starved to death after being left alone for a few days."
Tao Huainan couldn't speak, he took his hand off the table and went to touch Chi Cheng. Chi Cheng held his hand, scratching the back of his hand with his thumb.
"The old man is so cruel?" A boy asked.
Uncle Huang came in from the outside, carrying a pot of stewed meat. The smell of the meat wafted into his nose, but today the boys didn't grab it. Uncle Huang said: "It's nothing to be cruel or not. He's tired of living and his family is tired. His parents don't care about it long ago. He will throw it away before the full moon. It's all left by Mrs. Ye. How much more can the old man live?" Year? Old Ye once said that let the child get rid of it quickly and reincarnate."
"That's human life..." The boy frowned, still unable to accept this statement.
"Can he be considered a human?" Uncle Huang gestured in front of his eyes, "It has been sealed since birth, and he has no human thoughts."
"Why are you not a human being?" Aunt Huang patted Uncle Huang, "You are a human being after birth. Hurry up and look at the pot outside, it will stick to the bottom of the pot later!"
Uncle Huang went out again, and Aunt Huang said: "It's just that fate is bad, and I won't be reincarnated. I don't know if it's because his mother took medicine when she was raising the child, or it was premature and didn't grow well. If you have suffered a lot in this life, you should treat it as a gift." Save your next life to be safe and secure."
Kind people are easy to empathize with.
There is a kind of empathy between the disabled. They are different from others in this world. They are a special group in the world, a "small part".
At night, Tao Huainan covered his ears and sat on the quilt, quietly.
Chi Cheng called him, but Tao Huainan didn't hear him.
Chi Cheng glanced at him, then raised his voice a bit: "Tao Huainan."
"Hey," Tao Huainan took his hand away and responded in a low voice, "here."
Chi Cheng said, "Lie down and sleep, stop playing."
Tao Huainan said "OK".
However, when Chi Cheng came over, lay down and turned off the light, Tao Huainan was still covering his ears.
Chi Cheng took off his hand and said, "Sleep."
Tao Huainan closed his eyes and murmured in a low voice, "This is so scary, I can't feel anything."
Chi Cheng knew that he had been feeling uncomfortable after seeing that child today, while Tao Huainan had always been emotionally soft. There is nothing wrong with being kind and delicate, but you will have different perceptions of many things.
"Come here." Chi Cheng said towards him.
Tao Huainan turned his head to this side, and responded slowly: "Huh?"
"I hug." Chi Cheng said.
Tao Huainan then turned over, put his head on Chi Cheng's chest, and covered one ear to listen to Chi Cheng's heartbeat. Afraid that he would be bored in the quilt, Chi Cheng pulled the quilt down, exposing Tao Huainan's face.
No matter what mood Tao Huainan was in, Chi Cheng's heartbeat could calm him down. Tao Huainan kissed Chi Cheng's heart, and Chi Cheng stroked his hair.
The boys are kind and enthusiastic, but this will not affect their mood of going out to play, and they are basically alive and kicking when they come together the next morning.
Only Tao Huainan was quieter than usual, he could always think of that child.
They also visited him before leaving.
The old man went to sell soy milk again, and there was only the child and his grandmother at home.
Grandma still looks very tough, she should not be too old, and she walks vigorously, as if carrying the wind. She heard that this group of children came to see her grandson, so she gave way enthusiastically: "Come on, come in quickly."
The house is very clean, the yard is tidy, and the room is not messy.
The child was sitting on the kang, holding a vent ball that was a little dirty in his hand, the kind of soft ball that would bounce back quickly after pinching. He was wearing a hand-knitted dark green sweater and wool trousers, and the edge of the beige long johns he was wearing could be exposed at the neck and ankles.
His grandma took a little doll from the floor cabinet, the kind of plastic doll that costs one or two yuan each, pulled his hand and stuffed it into his hand.
The child touched it, then patted the kang "ah" a few times.
"He's glad someone came." Grandma pulled his legs and dragged him out of the kang, smiled and stuffed the legs of long trousers into the hem of the socks and covered them with woolen trousers, making them straight.
"How did he know someone was coming?" Ji Nan asked.
Grandma pointed to the doll: "I told him."
There are a lot of things on the floor cabinet, small cloth shoes, bowls, small pillows the size of a palm, water glasses, and some other small objects that cannot be seen.
"Can he understand what it means?" Tao Huainan also touched the little doll. The child felt it, and stretched out his hand to hold Tao Huainan's hand, intending to put it in his mouth.
Tao Huainan didn't withdraw his hand, Chi Cheng held down his arm, but grandma moved faster and slapped the child twice on the mouth, which looked like two slaps.
Tao Huainan thought he had been beaten, so he withdrew his hand and said, "It's okay, don't beat him."
"I didn't hit him," grandma laughed, not caring. "It's just telling him not to put anything in his mouth."
Tao Huainan pursed his lips, unable to say anything, just nodded.
Grandma seems to be a very enthusiastic person and loves to chat. Surprisingly, no depression or melancholy can be seen on her face. She doesn't seem to feel that life is so bad. Those outsiders find it difficult, and she doesn't seem to take it seriously.
"The old man is not a thing, I always want to throw him away." Grandma sat on the edge of the kang, chatting with them.
Some of the boys stood and others sat. It was the first time for them to experience this kind of life and this kind of environment. Except for Chi Cheng and Tao Huainan, the rest are real sons and daughters who have never experienced hardship since birth.
"Then I can let him throw it? It's my grandson anyway, can I allow the old man to do such a crime?" Grandma waved her hand when she was excited, and told them what happened before as a joke, "I tied all the ropes I'll hang it on the beam, and if he doesn't get it back, I'll die in the house!"
Grandma is very optimistic, listening to her talk about these things seems to feel less depressing.
"The old man always says he wants to free the child, and it is painful to be alive. Where is the pain, I think it is his pain!" Grandma turned to look at the grandson who was pinching the soft ball behind him, with a loving and tolerant light in her eyes, "Human? , they are all the same when they are born, if they don’t understand, they can’t read, babies are all the same, they cry when they’re hungry, and sleep when they’re full.”
She patted the child's head vigorously, stroked it twice, and the child turned around and lay down on the kang inside, with his face against the kang and his mouth open.
"We've been stuck as babies, isn't it good?" Grandma smiled, with a calm look on her face and tone, "He doesn't even know what pain is, and he doesn't have those things in his mind." Things, there is no pain or itching on the body, what's the matter? Being a baby for a lifetime is simple, and our baby is also enjoying the blessing."
Grandma really sees it openly, not to comfort herself or to tell others, but to smooth out those unwilling emotions over the years.
When the children left that day, they left some money for them. To them, it was just pocket money and a little thought.
In fact, the family is not short of money. The old man can earn money by selling soy milk every day. The cost is so low, and he can sell some soy milk powder for ten yuan a cup, which can sell a lot in a day. Moreover, such children are now subsidized by the state and provided with a lot of convenience in life. They are really not short of money.
But other than this, it seems that I don't know what else I can do for such a group of people and such a family.
It was an accident to meet a blind and deaf child. I didn't expect it in advance.
This made Tao Huainan much quieter for a long time after he came back, as if his heart sank. He will feel the world quietly many times, and occasionally touch his ears.
The little cub who made a fuss every day stopped after going out for a while, and stopped talking, listening to this and that with his little ears.
Tao Xiaodong felt surprised, and asked Chi Cheng, "What's the matter?"
Chi Cheng said, "Meet a child who can neither hear nor see."
"Ah, the one in their village?" Tao Xiaodong nodded knowingly, "I saw it once too."
Chi Cheng said "hmm".
Tao Huainan was already very dependent on hearing, but now he is even more dependent.
He would listen to Chi Cheng's heartbeat for a while every night, with his ears gently pressed against his heart and his hands beside him.
It's good to listen to the heartbeat, but Chi Cheng won't let me kiss after he comes back, that's not good.
Tao Huainan raised his head after hearing the heartbeat and kissed Chi Cheng's mouth. Chi Cheng touched him and let him sleep.
Tao Huainan went to kiss his neck again, Chi Cheng said, "Stop."
He told Tao Huainan to stop, lay down obediently, and was ready to sleep next to Chi Cheng.
This winter is over, and when the spring is warm and the flowers are blooming, my brother went to the medical aid again. This time we went far, and we had to walk for a few days.
Chicheng and Tao Huainan started their second semester, and Tao Huainan seemed to have grown up a bit this winter, as if the children had grown up a bit after a year.
Tao Huainan would still often kiss Chi Cheng secretly.
They occasionally do something outrageous and intimate.
When the weather got warmer and he took off his coat and went out in only unlined clothing, Tao Huainan suddenly discovered that something was wrong with his brother recently.