The older brothers were unaware of the decisive conversation between the two younger brothers at home. In their view, the two of them still only had a big conflict, and it was even difficult to reconcile this time. The atmosphere at home has not changed from before, Chi Cheng is still angry and indifferent, and Tao Huainan is still getting more silent day by day.
"What do you two think? I want to hear it." After dinner, Tao Xiaodong wanted to talk.
Tang Suoyan was making fruit in the kitchen, and Tao Xiaodong was strictly required to complete the fruit quota every day, and he couldn't finish it. He called out to Chi Cheng on the balcony and Tao Huainan in the room respectively, asking them to come over and have a chat.
Neither of them came out, and the stalemate was still the same as before.
Tang Suoyan brought him a plate of fruit for him to eat, and Tao Xiaodong called them over to eat fruit, but no one paid any attention to him.
Tao Xiaodong glanced at Tang Suoyan, sighed and said, "I'm wronged."
Tang Suoyan raised his hand and stroked his bald head. It is not bald now, and with some stubble, it is still a pretty cropped cut. Xiaodong has always been very particular about being able to sing, and he is very beautiful.
"Then what should we do?" Tang Suoyan said, "How about Brother Yan clean up the two of them for you."
Tao Xiaodong quickly said, "It's not necessary."
"Then you should be wronged, there is no way to move." Tang Suoyan said.
Tao Huainan didn't go out of the room very much after he said that to Chi Cheng, he couldn't survive that night, he hadn't closed his eyes for three or four days. That night he had a long sleep, and he couldn't wake up no matter how much he woke up, he slept for nearly twenty hours.
When I woke up, it was already the evening of the second day, and it was almost dark.
The brothers may not have come back yet, the house was so quiet that there was even a lifeless stagnation. Tao Huainan squeezed the watch by his ear, then sat there for a while, then put the watch down in silence.
He put on the earphones again, and for the next two days, he ignored anyone who spoke.
There are some soothing piano music in the earphones, the slow and continuous tone can make people quieter and more peaceful.
The spot of light in front of Tao Huainan roughly allowed him to distinguish between day and night, and his life before and after the college entrance examination was very chaotic. Occasionally someone came to see him, Tao Huainan covered his earphones and refused to let him take it off, and he didn't want to listen to them.
He had become a languid, lifeless mute.
This is far from Tao Huainan in the past, he is almost sick now.
Tao Xiaodong finally made up his mind and no longer cared about his wishes, half-forced Tao Huainan into the car, and finally took him to the hospital. Tao Huainan didn't say anything along the way, even when he got to the hospital. His mouth was tightly shut, his face was pale, and he pretended not to hear what the people around him said.
He resisted his brother taking him to the hospital with silence.
No matter how good-tempered Tao Xiaodong was, he was about to lose his temper, but he was not just angry, but also worried and anxious. Such Tao Huainan made him a little flustered.
The psychiatrist is a friend of Brother Tang. He talked to Tang Suoyan and Tao Xiaodong for a while, and said that Tao Huainan might have to come for regular psychological intervention in the future. More didn't tell Tao Xiaodong, just said don't force him yet, let Tang Suoyan make an appointment with Tao Huainan in advance when Tao Huainan is in good condition.
Chi Cheng didn't go to the hospital with him, he just lay on Tao Huainan's bed in his original position, with his limbs spread out, staring straight at the ceiling.
When Tao Huainan was brought back, he went straight back to the bed, sat up and felt someone, paused, and then slowly groped to avoid him and shrunk inside.
He connected the earphones to the phone, held the phone in his hand, and stopped moving.
The two of them were silently side by side, one sitting and the other lying down, peacefully staying in the same room, without making any noise, just like before.
Tao Xiaodong stood at the door and watched for a while, and saw that the two of them stayed silent, with no intention of arguing.
He came out frowning, and Tang Suoyan patted him on the back silently to comfort him.
That's how they slept that night, one lying down and the other sitting up.
Tao Huainan slept in this position all night, and when he woke up in the morning, there was no one around him.
This trip to the hospital still irritated Tao Huainan. He became more anxious than before, with an unexplained impatience on his face all the time, he was a little flustered and wanted to do something.
After shutting himself down for two days, Tao Huainan began to stay awake again. He even chewed raw coffee beans. At night, he would walk around the room barefoot with the door closed, not allowing himself to sit or lie down.
After the last conversation between him and Chi Cheng, they didn't say anything to each other. They were no longer at odds, but they were no longer close either.
They seem to have returned to the time when Chi Cheng first arrived when they were young. During the day, the adults were not at home, and the children did not speak. The difference is that Tao Huainan still had Grandpa Shi at that time, but now he doesn't.
Tao Huainan recently wears pajamas with long sleeves and trousers, covering his arms and legs tightly.
There are several long cuts on the inside of his arm, which are shallow and not deep. In the drawer of the bedside table was the tissue that Tao Huainan had wiped his arm, and he hid it there after wiping his arm at night.
This room hides many of his secrets, the intimate intimacy between him and Chi Cheng in the past, and the fear and struggle that Tao Huainan can't tell now.
Brother Tang went to work, he went out to do some errands and would come back later, and only him and Chi Cheng were left at home. Chi Cheng didn't know where he was, Tao Huainan guessed that he might be on the balcony, he liked to stand on the balcony when he was a child, and later every time Tao Huainan made him angry, Chi Cheng also liked to go there.
Tao Huainan was really sleepy, he hadn't closed his eyes for three days.
He lifted the pillow, opened the corner of the mattress underneath, and took a paper knife from underneath. He pushed out the tip of the knife and quickly slashed across the inside of his arm. The sharp tingling sensation made him wake up suddenly.
Tao Huainan took a breath, took out a piece of paper and pressed it on his arm, such a shallow stroke could keep him refreshed for hours without feeling sleepy.
"Tao Huainan." When Chi Cheng's voice suddenly sounded, Tao Huainan trembled violently, he even stopped breathing, and choked his breath in his throat, causing chest pain.
"What are you doing?" His voice was calm and hoarse, with a very cold and deep tone.
Tao Huainan couldn't move his whole body anymore, he didn't know how long Chicheng had been standing here. He didn't even seem to have to do the movement of hiding his arms behind his back, it didn't make any sense anymore.
He had no blood in his face these days, but now he was flushed with that breath.
"I'm asking you something." Chi Cheng's eyes were scarlet and terrifying. He was leaning against the wall, his hands hanging powerlessly by his side, staring at Tao Huainan, "What are you doing?"
Tao Huainan's lips trembled uncontrollably, and the lip flesh and tongue that had been bitten by him began to ache violently at the same time. The air blocked in the throat was slowly inhaled into the lungs, and the entire chest was suffocated.
"Self-mutilation?" Chi Cheng walked towards him, stood by the bed and looked at him, at Tao Huainan's messed up arms, at his frightened eyes and desperate face.
Chi Cheng asked him softly: "Just to force me away?"
Tao Huainan quickly shook his head: "No!"
"You even started playing with knives just to let me go?" Chi Cheng didn't finish his sentence, he laughed as if he couldn't believe it. Gritting her teeth, she asked, "...do you hate me that much?"
Tao Huainan still shook his head violently, the flushed blood receded, his face was as white as paper, he kept shaking his head, and repeated in despair: "I don't...I don't hate you...No...I only hate me Own."
"I hate you too." Chi Cheng followed up his words and repeated, "You are absolutely amazing, Tao Huainan."
Tao Huainan's hand holding the knife clenched his fist and pressed his heart, tears rolled down in embarrassment, Tao Huainan's emotions were about to collapse, and he was pumping hard with every breath. He couldn't speak much, like a wounded animal that could only whine.
Chi Cheng held Tao Huainan's arm full of knife marks, Tao Huainan didn't seem to feel the pain, he didn't even blink his eyes, and he didn't resist being pinched by Chi Cheng.
Chi Cheng slowly rolled up his sleeve, and there were light marks scattered all over his left arm, one on top of the other.
The little coquettish person who used to be afraid of pain and love to cry, now cuts herself with a knife neatly and simply.
Chi Cheng patted Tao Huainan's head, his movements were gentle, but his voice was indifferent: "Tao Huainan, no matter what your reason is today, I will not forgive you."
Tao Huainan nodded, weeping sadly, and said, "Thank you brother for growing up with me."
"You're welcome," Chi Cheng stroked his forehead with his fingers, brushed his eyebrows, and stained Tao Huainan's face with his tears, "It should be, I also thank you and brother for keeping me alive."
Tao Huainan couldn't breathe from crying, he was trembling under Chi Cheng's palm.
When Chi Cheng's hand grabbed Tao Huainan's hand holding the knife, Tao Huainan began to struggle with all his strength.
How could he survive Chi Cheng, every time he hangs on Chi Cheng, Chi Cheng can wrap his ass with one hand to support him. Brother once said with a smile that Chi Cheng's hand strength was brought out by hugging him.
Tao Huainan was clutched by Chi Cheng, and he started screaming like crazy.
He used all his strength to pull his hand away, but he still couldn't do it.
He was led by Chi Cheng, and he pressed the tip of the knife to Chi Cheng's heart.
Tao Huainan was already insane, he screamed so loudly that his voice was broken, his whole body was shaking like a dying dog.
"Brother, please forgive me—" Tao Huainan pleaded, using his other hand to break Chi Cheng's fingers, "Please, please—"
But he was still held by Chi Cheng, using the tip of the knife to make a slow and long cut on Chi Cheng's skin.
"Ah—" Tao Huainan yelled hysterically, jumping out of the bed in despair and trying to pull himself away, he tried in vain to push the other shoulder, "Don't scratch me, I beg you—I was wrong... I beg you —I shouldn’t be alive, please let go, please...it hurts—”
His screams and pleadings failed to make Chi Cheng let go even a little bit, and the knife left a deep gash in Chi Cheng's heart.
The smell of blood filled his nostrils, and Tao Huainan felt that he had gone crazy.
When Chi Cheng finally let go of his hand, Tao Huainan's hand was almost unconscious by him.
Tao Huainan was still screaming, Chi Cheng cut Tao Huainan's soul with a knife as if piercing through the flesh, cutting his soul in half.
"Tao Huainan." Chi Cheng's voice was panting heavily, and the gritty feeling in his voice made people feel painful.
Tao Huainan was still pulled by the emotion just now and couldn't recover. He was shaking violently while crying, stamping his legs on the floor.
"Regardless of your reason," Chi Cheng stared at him and said every word, "I don't forgive you."