Fifteen Years of Waiting for Migratory Birds

Chapter 6: Youth is a song full of sadness

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Youth is a song full of sorrow

Li Li got his wish and entered Fuxing Middle School, Han Yichen was admitted to Hongkou Middle School, and Pei Shangxuan also entered the Finance Vocational School with the lowest admission line. Everything is like a movie with a happy ending.

Pei Shangxuan asked Li Li to go swimming in summer vacation. Li Li is a landlubber, extremely afraid of water, even afraid of drowning while wearing a life buoy. In the summer of the second year of junior high school, he taught Li Li to hold her breath and breaststroke, but for some reason she sank while holding her breath. After a period of chaos, he fished her ashore, and after that, Li Li dared not go into the water again.

On the day of going to school to get the report card, Pei Shangxuan and Li Li happened to meet at the entrance of the alley, and they walked side by side towards the school as usual. As if he didn't mean to, he said that this might be the last time he went together.

Li Li felt sad all of a sudden. Once they get together, the wind is gone in a blink of an eye. Compared with the ignorance and ignorance when they graduated from elementary school, fifteen-year-old boys and girls experience the sadness of parting and parting more deeply. The companions who get along day and night will be separated one day. In the vast sea of people, there will always be new faces in the future life to replace the old ones. Who can guarantee that they will remember every face around them for the rest of their lives.

In the last class meeting before the senior high school entrance examination, the recorder played the last album of the Little Tigers before they disbanded. Every song was a blessing for the reunion tomorrow, but at the same time, they had no choice but to admit that the separation was inevitable. No matter what their relationship is like on weekdays, this group of peers held hands in tears and sang "Li Ge" and "Let's Go Fly", laughing away their grievances.

After school that day, Han Yichen's mother took her to a relative's house for dinner, and Pei Shangxuan took Li Li to Huangpu Park to have a wind.

Pei Shangxuan opened his schoolbag and dumped all the things confiscated by the teacher on the grass. He lay on his back and looked at the blue sky.

"Girl, will you pretend not to know me in the future?"

"Why do you ask such a strange question?" Li Li was puzzled, she slowly picked up the sundries scattered all over the floor for him, and stuffed them back into his schoolbag.

Pei Shangxuan didn't say a word, picked up the harmonica that fell aside, randomly wiped the ashes, put it on his lips, and blew a note lightly. Pei Shangxuan grinned at Li Li, "I'll send you a song, just for you."

The setting sun was sinking to the west, and the afterglow of the setting sun was reflected in the sparkling water. Li Li quietly listened to Pei Shangxuan's "Auld Lang Syne" played for her. A melodious and mournful tune lingered in her ears—Pei Shangxuan played the harmonica quite well. The music teacher once said when they were teaching them to play this piece, that in Scottish pubs, bands used it as the end of the night. After each section is completed, a group member will extinguish the candles in front of him, and wait until the candles are all extinguished, which heralds parting.

That day, she understood the message he conveyed to her through music—our friendship will last forever!

There is no wind in summer, and the sun is like fire. Pei Shangxuan turned to face her, taking advantage of his height to mess up her short hair, "Li Li, let's go swimming, this year I must teach you."

Li Li raised her head and watched his fingers run through her hair, when she left, one or two strands of hair were pulled out together with his fingers, it was very painful to pull.

"Okay." Li Li replied succinctly.

They went to the swimming pool at Hongkou Stadium, and there was a long queue. Li Li hugged the goose-yellow life buoy, as if she was holding on to a life-saving straw and refused to let go.

"If you rely on the life buoy, you will never learn to swim." Pei Shangxuan frowned and looked for the valve of the life buoy, intending to let it go.

Li Li noticed his intention, and quickly turned the valve to her chest, pressing tightly to prevent him from doing it, "Pei Shangxuan, you want to murder me?"

"Unreasonable! The elementary school students next to you are more courageous than you." Pei Shangxuan folded his arms and snorted coldly, mocking her for going to the doll pool to play in the water. Li Li rolled her eyes, ignoring his sarcasm.

Li Li didn't have a swimming certificate, so she went to the physical examination office to check her body first. The woman in a white coat who looked like a doctor rolled her eyelids and stamped her on the spot to make sure there was no trachoma. Holding the current swimming certificate, Li Li walked back to Pei Shangxuan in bewilderment, and asked Pei Shangxuan suspiciously what problems such a physical examination could find out.

"Why do you care so much? Hurry up and change into your swimsuit. I'll wait for you outside the locker room." Pei Shangxuan kicked Li Li and kicked her into the women's locker room.

Li Li's swimsuit was bought last summer when her uncle's girlfriend accompanied her to the sporting goods store. Yan Liming picked out a pink swimsuit with small white flowers on it, but she only wore it once and put it away.

Li Li took off her clothes and stuffed herself into a swimsuit, and couldn't help feeling embarrassed when she saw the protrusion on her chest. Last year, she just developed, and she couldn't see the clues yet, but this year is quite different. The tight-fitting swimsuit was no looser than usual, which clearly outlined the outline of her chest.

Li Li looked around, secretly compared with girls of her own age, and found that everyone was basically curvy, so she was a little relieved.

Li Li got wet and ran out of the locker room wearing a life buoy.

Pei Shangxuan was waiting impatiently, thinking that Li Li would have to scold her like a tortoise when she came out later, when a bright peach red suddenly appeared in front of her eyes. He took a closer look to make sure that the girl was really Li Li.

The fifteen-year-old boy was stunned for a while, and for the first time noticed the physical changes of the girl who was regarded as his best friend.

Han Yichen's development was earlier than Li Li's. When he and Yichen swam last year, he already understood the changes that would happen to a woman's body. It's just that he never thought that Li Li would change, and there were undulating lines without him noticing.

"Pei Shangxuan?" Seeing him staring straight at her, Li Li blushed like a boiled shrimp. She almost wanted to flee back to the dressing room and change out of this shameful bathing suit quickly.

"Oh." The boy was called back to his soul, scratched his hair embarrassingly, took her hand and ran towards the swimming pool.

The concrete floor under the sun was burning the soles of their feet, and the two ran fast.

"Plop" and "Plop", Pei Shangxuan jumped into the pool first, while Li Li fell down due to inertia and his force.

"Help!" Li Li closed her eyes and waved her hands wildly, forgetting that she couldn't drown with a life buoy.

Pei Shangxuan grabbed her life buoy and laughed, she quietly opened her closed eyes to make sure she was safe, saw his triumphant expression, and felt mischievous, scooped up a handful of water and splashed it on his face up.

Pei Shangxuan was unprepared for being splashed straight, grinning his teeth and yelling for revenge. Li Li hurriedly kicked her legs and waved her hands to paddle the water, trying to escape as soon as possible.

Pei Shangxuan grabbed Li Li, pressed her head into the water and taught her to hold her breath again. She struggled a few times, then raised her head and said sadly: "Pei Shangxuan, in case I die, remember to come and pay your respects to me."

"Fuck you." Pei Shangxuan couldn't help but cursed.

Li Li was unexpectedly serious about learning to swim this time. She stuck her head in the water and didn't lift it up for a long time. Pei Shangxuan panicked, just about to dive down to see if she was okay, but she suddenly raised her head out of the water.

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"Pei Shangxuan." Li Li stretched out his hand and hugged Pei Shangxuan's neck tightly, the water on his face was not clear what kind of liquid it was, "Pei Shangxuan, we are still friends, right?"

There was a strange feeling in Pei Shangxuan's heart, he understood what Li Li was afraid of, and this was also a worry he couldn't express. That day when he was by the Huangpu River, he could only use the harmonica to express the depression in his heart. Are they still friends after parting? The fifteen-year-old boy hugged the trembling girl, and in order to conceal his true emotions, he deliberately said in a rough voice: "Fool, I will never change in my life."

Swimming pool buzzing

The moment Pei Shangxuan spoke, Li Li's ears were suddenly cut off from all the noise, and these words entered her ears very clearly, and then engraved into the depths of her soul.

In mid-August, Li Li received the admission letter from Fuxing Middle School and went to report for duty and participated in military training, making initial contact with her classmates who were about to spend three years together. The whole class used to be almost all top students from the schools in the district, and no one was convinced when they got together. Li Li stood on the sidelines and watched silently—a place without Pei Shangxuan made her less interested.

After ten days of military training, Li Li became acquainted with a girl named Li Jun. They are about the same size, so they naturally line up together when they line up. Li Jun is a cheerful girl, fatter than Li Li, but also delicious. During the military training break, each person had a meat bun as a snack. After she finished eating one, she yelled that she might as well not eat it if she was only half full.

Li Li always thinks that fat people are usually not bad people, and there is no scientific basis, so she thinks so. She has a chubby figure, and her chubby face can never lose weight. Strictly speaking, she can be regarded as a chubby person. Anyway, she is not bad-minded, and she feels that all fat people think about eating more and sleeping more all day long, how can they have free time to think about the whole thing? So Li Li and the chubby Li Jun got to know each other well during the military training days, and they naturally sat together when they arranged the same table.

The military training report was held in Hongkou Stadium, and all the high schools in Hongkou District were there. Li Li found Han Yichen in the crowd, Hongkou Middle School and Fuxing Middle School in the same attire, white shirt and blue line pants. Many years later, Pei Shangxuan turned to Li Li's first group photo in high school, looked at her outfit during military training, and commented disdainfully - "The soil is too dregs".

She didn't tell him that Han Yichen also wore the same outfit that day, but this outfit did not diminish her beauty in the slightest. She clearly remembered that on the day of the military training performance, the long-sleeved trousers made her sweat profusely and complain, and she fanned herself desperately with her hand as a fan. Therefore, Li Li looked at the beautiful girl who seemed to be indifferent to the hot weather from a distance, and her unhappiness increased to a higher level, thinking that even God would bully people who are not slender.

Li Li subconsciously hid behind Li Jun, who was as hot and smoking as herself, hoping that Han Yichen didn't see her.

Han Yichen saw Li Li and walked towards her through the crowd. She could feel the commotion from the boys in the same square as her, she sighed helplessly, and walked forward consciously.

Li Li has recognized the reality since she was a child. External beauty is easier to be seen than internal intelligence, so beauties must be more popular than talented women.

Han Yichen exaggeratedly gave Li Li a hug. She didn't need to worry about words that had nothing to do with her, such as image and temperament, so she rolled her eyes generously. She didn't know if Han Yichen knew about Pei Shangxuan taking her to swim that day, and she felt guilty.

"Our contest starts today." Han Yichen said.

Li Li blinked, feeling guilty and out of breath. She liked Pei Shangxuan, and even hugged him in the swimming pool. Although it was just the most common way of hugging among friends, she still felt like stealing someone's boyfriend. Even though she knew Pei Shangxuan much earlier than Han Yichen, Li Li still felt sorry.

Later, she gradually understood: In the war of love, the thick-skinned people have the upper hand.

Han Yichen stuck out his tongue at her playfully, and said with a bright smile, "How about it, do I imitate the teacher's tone?" Li Li remembered what the class teacher said similarly on the first day of registration, and burst out laughing.

Han Yichen's classmates were calling her to go back, she beckoned and turned around to look at Li Li with deep eyes.

"Li Li, there is something I forgot to tell you, I like Pei Shangxuan very much."

Li Li admits in private that she is jealous of Han Yichen, not only because of her beautiful appearance, but also because she can say the word "like" without any scruples. Fortunately, Pei Shangxuan praised her for being brave, but she didn't even have the courage to confess.

"I know." Li Li responded blankly.

Li Li walked back to her queue, and Li Jun curiously asked if that pretty girl was her friend. She raised her eyelids and glanced at the phalanx of Hongkou Middle School, with a sneering smile on her lips.

"No." She denied it. Han Yichen came to declare her sovereignty, and she couldn't say the words about the contest for no reason. For a moment Li Li almost laughed at the other party for making a fuss out of a molehill. Pei Shangxuan just taught him how to swim a few times, but he could make the beautiful and confident Han Yichen feel like an enemy

Li Li looked at Li Jun, raised her hand to pinch her cheek, and sighed slowly, "Women, once you fall in love, you will become neurotic."

There are a lot of myopia in Li Li's class. Every time there is a sound of opening glasses cases in class, the gray-haired math teacher stands on the podium and says with a smile that the reflection below is very dazzling.

Li Li straightened up and looked around, and sure enough, they were all spectacles like herself, and she couldn't help feeling like she had found the same kind. Many years later, when she recalled the youthful years, Li Li thought that maybe she had drawn an invisible boundary first: she was looking for a companion in the routine, and she stubbornly believed that he was a bird flying recklessly. She decided that it was impossible for their worlds to overlap, so she gave up trying.

The boy who always said that she looks ugly wearing glasses is no longer with her. Her deskmate is Li Jun, a good student who listens more carefully than her in class. Li Li opened the book silently, forcing herself to forget Pei Shangxuan.

Li Li's high school studies have been very busy from the very beginning. Fuxing Middle School's astonishing rate of admission to the college entrance examination every year is due to the teaching of experienced teachers on the one hand, and the cooperation of the students themselves on the other.

The marriage of Li Guoqiang and Yan Liming was also on the agenda. Li Li has been staying at her grandmother's house since her mother got married. Now that her uncle is getting married, it is obviously inconvenient for her to continue living.

Li Guoqiang was a little embarrassed, reluctant to part with the niece he loved since childhood, but he had the characteristics of a Shanghai man in his bones-the big wife is the biggest. Yan Liming can bear to live with her mother-in-law, but she can't accept that Li Guoqiang's married sister leaves her children to live with her. She also has the characteristics of a Shanghai woman-smart and narrow-minded.

The housing problem became the beginning of the Li family's dispute. Li Meiqing was angry with Liu Qianren a lot in the open and secret of her husband's house. The daughter stays at her natal home. Li Guoqiang's attitude was vacillating at first, but Li Meiqing's snark made his stubborn temper come up. He insisted on driving Li Li to live with his brother-in-law's house, and even threatened his mother to stand by him with "there are three ways to be unfilial, and the greatest thing is to have no offspring". .

Li Li watched silently, uninterested. Standing at the door, Pei Shangxuan, who came to see her to catch up, frowned when he heard the cursing voice inside. She came out through the kitchen as fast as she could, closing the door so violently that it made a loud bang.

"Let's go." Li Li raised his head, there was no haze on his face, and there was a hearty smile.

Pei Shangxuan felt that Li Li was not happy, as if he was suppressing something. Love makes a careless boy delicate, even caring for his best friend.

Pei Shangxuan stopped and pressed Li Li's shoulder to ask her to raise her head. She obeyed and waited for him to speak.

"Li Li, we are good friends, aren't we?" The young man looked serious.

Li Li nodded, "Yeah". The words "good friend" made her both happy and sad. She was delighted that the friendship had never faded, but also saddened by the relationship that could not be changed.

"So Li Li, stop pretending in front of me." Distress flashed in bright eyes, and he wondered if this girl had been hiding her sadness with a smiling face, even crying in a corner where no one was around? Just like the silent classroom that day, she shed tears alone. That image of loneliness is deeply rooted in his heart, and he can't forget it even if he wants to, so he thinks it's a revelation from God: as Li Li's good friend, he has an obligation to make her happy.

Li Li understood what he was talking about, she couldn't want Pei Shangxuan's tenderness, it would make her more and more dependent on him. As an adult, she looked at the fifteen years she had passed, and was surprised to find that there were rare moments of true feelings. So I smiled in a daze, like a flower in full bloom in loneliness.

"I don't know the so-called idiot." She raised her head stubbornly, and the corners of her mouth widened, "Pei Shangxuan, have you talked too much with Han Yichen?"

Unexpectedly, Pei Shangxuan did not refute, but just stretched out his arms to embrace her. He put his hands on Li Li's head and pressed it to his chest, as he did when he taught her how to swim. Li Li struggled for a while, then suddenly gave up resistance, hugged Pei Shangxuan's waist and wept softly.

She intermittently told him about the family kicking her around like a ball recently, and the boy clenched his fists impulsively, "It's too much, Li Li, how could they treat you like this! Especially your mother, you are her My daughter!" As he said that, he was about to turn around and rush to Li Li's house, to argue with those unreasonable adults.

Li Li tightly hugged Pei Shangxuan, "Idiot, why are you so crazy! I want you to meddle in your own business!" She clenched her right hand into a fist and thumped Pei Shangxuan's chest with such force that it hurt him a lot. Pei Shangxuan pressed his hands on his chest and looked at Li Li angrily.

"Don't bite Lu Dongbin, you don't know a good heart. I don't bother to care about other people's affairs." The young man shook off her hand and strode away without looking back.

He was angry - Li Li bit her lips as she watched the young man's back striding towards the sunset. If he looked back, he would definitely say "Why are you abusing yourself again", but Pei Shangxuan didn't look back.

What Li Li didn't know was that after this farewell, it took a long time before she saw him again. But when they met again, everything was different again.

Li Li heard about Pei Shangxuan's accident from Deng Jianfeng. Deng Jianfeng, a self-motivated master, entered the same vocational school as Pei Shangxuan, and because of being in the same class in junior high school, his relationship is stronger than ordinary people. The gangsters around the school had seen how well these two teamed up, so they were willing to follow them.

Li Li is busy arranging her books and clothes, and she will move to Liu's house to live with her mother before the Spring Festival. After discussing with Liu Zhixian, Li Meiqing closed the balcony outside the living room and set up a small room for Li Li with a bed and a small two-tiered wardrobe. As for her reading and writing homework, she had to go to Liu Qianren's room to share a desk with him.

Li Li accepted this decision without saying a word, and secretly reminded herself that she had to finish her homework in school. Her silence made Li Guoqiang very guilty, feeling that his niece was suddenly alienated from him.

In order to try his best to make up for the rift between his uncle and nephew due to the unreasonableness of his future wife before Li Li left, Li Guoqiang deliberately took Li Li to the street to buy sports shoes on his rest day. They met Deng Jianfeng at the Nike counter of Shibaiyi Store.

Li Li and Deng Jianfeng were not close, and she only had a good relationship with Pei Shangxuan among the boys in the same class in junior high school. Seeing Deng Jianfeng, Li Li greeted him with a smile, remembering that Pei Shangxuan hadn't seen him for a long time, she asked him how he was doing recently.

Deng Jianfeng looked surprised, "You don't know? You and Pei Shangxuan are so close that you don't even know about it?"

Li Li's heart beat faster and faster, feeling ominous.

"I haven't seen him for a long time, what happened?"

"I don't know the exact reason. Pei Shangxuan was arrested, and I heard that he will be sent to a youth education center."

Li Liru was struck by lightning, and she didn't even hear her little uncle calling her. She couldn't remember how she said goodbye to Deng Jianfeng, and how she followed Li Guoqiang back home. There was only one thought in her mind: It's only been a month and a half, how could it have become like this

The first thing Li Li did after returning home was to run through the four alleys to Pei Shangxuan's house. She rang the doorbell, afraid that the people upstairs would not hear her, and at the same time knocked hard on the door and called his name loudly.

Soon, someone came downstairs and opened the door, it was Father Pei.

"Li Li." Father Pei called her name, moved his lips to say something, but finally sighed with a serious expression.

"Uncle, where's Shang Xuan? I heard that something happened to him. He was fine last time I saw him." Seeing Father Pei's hesitant to speak, Li Li's heart sank, so "what if?" It's a joke" has also been shattered. She burst into tears.

"Let's go up and talk about it. By the way, you can persuade your aunt not to be too sad." Father Pei had a look of resentment. Li Li panicked, and rushed upstairs in three steps at a time. Pushing open the door, the handsome and tall boy was not in the room.

"Xiao Li." Seeing Li Li, Pei's mother held her in her arms, sniveling and crying, and said, "What can I do? I have worked so hard to raise him, and now I have to send him to In jail."

The word "prison" made Li Li's heart tremble suddenly, and she asked eagerly what happened.

"That little vixen, I don't think she's a good person. Shang Xuan is about to get killed by her." Mother Pei gritted her teeth. who is she? Han Yichen? Li Li was at a loss.

The matter is not complicated. Pei Shangxuan and Han Yichen were discovered by Han Yichen's father when they tasted the forbidden fruit, and he insisted on calling the police. Because Han Yichen was still a minor, Pei Shangxuan's behavior was deemed rape.

After understanding the ins and outs, Li Li's mind went blank, and he couldn't tell where the feeling of emptiness in his heart came from. The fifteen-year-old girl knew little about "sex", and she hurriedly brought up the part about sexual assault in the "Regulations on the Protection of Youth" in the class meeting. She really didn't understand how Pei Shangxuan and Han Yichen's apparent love was related to rape? She had heard this charge mentioned in the news, and it was quite serious.

Li Li used the toothache as an excuse to ask for sick leave, and went to Hongkou Middle School to find Han Yichen. Calling her home, Han Yichen hung up the phone as soon as he heard her voice, without giving Li Li a chance to speak.

Li Li had no choice but to find the school. She showed the school badge of Fuxing Middle School to the gate guard, claiming that she was here to contact work, and entered the school gate smoothly.

She didn't know what class Han Yichen was in, so she asked a random male student in the corridor of the first grade. Beautiful girls are the most eye-catching existence on campus, and sure enough, the boy told her that Han Yichen is in Class 5.

At the door of the classroom, Li Li saw Han Yichen staring out the window in a daze. She yelled, and Han Yichen turned his head. She walked out of the classroom, and the two of them walked to the playground together.

Han Yichen's face was very pale, bloodless white. Looking at this face, Li Li was filled with fear. She had a premonition that Han Yichen would not be able to save Pei Shangxuan.

"I can't do anything." Han Yichen said in a soft voice, his beautiful face was like a lifeless doll, and all expressions were omitted, "I begged Dad, but it was useless."

"You can't treat Shang Xuan like this. Did you forget that you told me that you like him very much?" Li Li desperately grabbed her shoulder and shook her desperately, "Han Yichen, you go and tell the police that he didn't do anything bad. You go ah!"

Han Yichen's hair was disheveled by the shaking, she waited indifferently for Li Li to be powerless. Li Li's hope was wiped out bit by bit, the beautiful girl with empty expression in front of her made her despair, she let go of her hand and took a step back.

"Li Li, I'll give him back to you. I hurt him, so say 'I'm sorry' for me." After speaking, Han Yichen turned around and walked towards the teaching building.

Li Li stood on the playground of Hongkou Middle School, the ringing of the class bell made her eardrums ache. She seemed to be standing on an isolated island, surrounded by a boundless sea, hoping that a sail of hope would appear on the sea level.

Flocks of wild geese fly across the sky, and the migration season is here again.

The powerless frustration hit Li Li in an instant, and she squatted down on the unfamiliar campus and cried loudly.