When he woke up the next day, there was no one beside him. Xu Shiqi lay there quietly in a daze, and became more and more lazy to get up.
I don't know when Wen Jialuo left, or what she was thinking when she left. She was still in a dream at that time, and she didn't know anything, just like she didn't know how much she liked the girl. Regarding liking, some people say that you don't need to like too much, just a little bit is enough. But is it really okay? Is a little bit enough? Xu Shiqi was confused, feeling the loss that surged into her heart, as if it was only because she lost the warmth of the pillow.
A warm bed, and some warm memories. Xu Shiqi let himself think blankly until there was a knock on the door.
Before she could say anything, the door was pushed open and Wen Baohua walked in first, followed by Wen Jialuo.
"Shiqi, why haven't you gotten up yet?" Wen Baohua walked to the bed and teased her.
The girl who had left the room at some point sat down on the sofa and began to flip through the magazine at hand.
Xu Shiqi sat up from the bed and put on a coat. When she just got up, her voice was a little soft, more gentle than usual: "I had a dream last night. There was an uninvited fox that stayed by my side and wouldn't leave," she said angrily, "I couldn't drive it away no matter how hard I tried, so I fought for half the night."
Wen Jialuo, who was flipping through a magazine, held up the book to cover her face. It was unclear whether she was laughing or doing something else. However, Wen Baohua could not see any of this. She opened her eyes wide and said, "Fox? Have you read too many "Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio"? Did grandma ask you to tell ghost stories?"
"Not really," Xu Shiqi laughed, "You know I like to sleep in, so I'll naturally find an excuse if I can't get up."
Wen Jialuo stood up at this time: "The temperature has dropped again today, remember to put on more clothes." After saying that, she went out, as if she came in just to say this.
Xu Shiqi sneezed twice, and then began to put on her clothes. Wen Baohua was about to speak when the person who had just left poked his head back in. She saw Xu Shiqi stretching her waist and putting on her sweater. Such a simple action was so curved: "Sister, come out."
"What?" Wen Baohua was surprised and turned to leave. He did not forget to turn around and talk to the person who was getting dressed, "Shiqi, we are going to buy some New Year's goods today, do you want to go?"
Xu Shiqi stuck his head out of his sweater and said, "No need. I've already promised my mom to go with her."
"That's just right for when we go back. Didn't you say your mother likes to eat those melon seeds? Someone at home gave her a lot. You can take some back to your aunt." As Wen Baohua said this, he was pulled out by his cousin. He only had time to hear the word "OK" from inside the door before his cousin closed it.
"What's up?"
"...Where are the melon seeds? I'll move them to the car first," Wen Jialuo said, "I'll take her to the store later."
"It seems to be piled somewhere, I forgot." Wen Baohua looked her up and down, "Did you do anything to offend my classmate? Why do you seem to be so nice to her recently?"
Wen Jialuo was stunned, and smiled and put his arm around her shoulders: "Sister, are you jealous?"
Wen Baohua was also a little stunned. She hadn't heard her cousin speak in such a relaxed tone for a long time... It seemed that the girl who had lost her soul had come back again.
When she saw that it was Wen Jialuo who sent her home again, Xu Shiqi no longer had any thoughts.
As soon as I got in the car, I heard the girl say, "The melon seeds are in the back seat."
Xu Shiqi turned around and saw the girl looking thoughtful: "What's wrong?"
"The first time I treated you to a meal was when you followed me. It seemed like I was just buying sunflower seeds, right?"
Xu Shiqi felt a little embarrassed when the past was brought up again. He had never followed anyone before, but he was discovered the moment he did so: "Do you still remember?"
"Did you then--" Wen Jialuo stared at her.
Xu Shiqi interrupted her quickly: "No!"
Both of them shut up at the same time.
Some things have not been explained clearly, just like a boundary, which is always the last barrier before crossing. Xu Shiqi sat there with his eyes on his nose and his nose on his heart, not daring to look at the girl again, until he heard the sound of the car starting, and then he breathed a sigh of relief.
After the car drove out, Xu Shiqi realized that the direction of the car was in the hands of the girl again. Knowing that she was very focused on driving, Xu Shiqi simply didn't ask anything and let her take him to a certain destination. When thinking about this, she inevitably felt angry about letting things go, but the steady speed of the car and the music flowing gently in the car still calmed her down.
This time, Wen Jialuo really took her to a coffee shop. They had just opened the door and were still wiping the glass wall with their breath when she barged in.
Fortunately, she seemed to be very familiar with this place. She asked the boss for a private room and closed the door after entering.
This closed environment and the girl's aggressive aura made Xu Shiqi a little nervous. She thought that she didn't need to mention why the girl wanted to sleep in her room last night, and wanted to keep the 17 centimeters distance. But the girl obviously didn't think so.
There are walls on all sides here, which seems much safer than the riverside park. However, precisely because we don’t know what’s outside the walls, we feel wary.
Seeing her in a state of panic, Wen Jialuo sighed, "The soundproofing here is very good. No matter what we talk about, no one will hear it."
"What... are we talking about?" Xu Shiqi had no choice but to sit up straight and asked tentatively.
"What are you talking about?" Wen Jialuo raised the corner of her lips. "Don't say you don't have any doubts about me. I know you do. If you don't ask, I'm afraid you will always be stuck between us." She was silent. "Ask if you have anything you want to ask. This time... I will tell you the truth."
I always thought I was doing well, but the things I didn't want to express and kept hidden were actually seen by the girl. Xu Shiqi was silent for a long time, until someone knocked on the door and brought in two cups of fragrant coffee, she finally asked the first question: "When did you know you liked women?"
Wen Jialuo raised his eyebrows: "Do you remember the story of my secret crush?"
Xu Shiqi understood: "Is it true? It's not a senior brother, but a senior sister?" She tried hard to control the sour smell in the air. She felt that she was very disappointing. Things in the past were not worth lingering on. Besides, it was not for no reason that she found out that she liked the same sex.
"That's actually not important at all." Wen Jialuo seemed not to feel Xu Shiqi's tone. He just shook his head slightly, thinking in a trance.
"The best lie is a mixture of truth and lies. Except for a very small part of my lie that is true, the rest are all false, but the true part is the most important." Seeing Xu Shiqi blinking and asking, she continued, "The girl who made me realize that I like the same sex is not from the same school as me. I saw her at a social event between the two schools in my sophomore year. How should I put it, it's a very subtle feeling." She thought for a while, "I have never liked anyone before, so it's probably the kind of first love. I met her a few times, and the girl looked truly perfect, but now I think about it, she's just a symbol of femininity." Wen Jialuo seemed to think that her description was ridiculous, and paused, and said, "But in the end, she just gave me this feeling, making me realize that the reason I was not interested in boys was because of my sexual orientation. This meaning seems to be more important than her making my heart beat. The so-called first love is nothing more than this to me."
"But your secret crushes are so real." Xu Shiqi couldn't help but say.
Wen Jialuo smiled: "That's not difficult, just read a few romance novels, the plots are nothing more than this." She seemed to be boasting, "I hypnotized myself to the point that even real hypnosis couldn't get the truth out of me. So, is my acting worthy of an Oscar?"
Xu Shiqi was stunned, but she had no interest in joking. She looked at the girl's thin appearance, and then thought of the old man in the room who was like the sunshine in April: "If you are so sure, why do you make yourself so miserable? The most important thing in acting is the heart, not the appearance."
"So I find it very strange--" Wen Jialuo suddenly moved closer to Xu Shiqi, eyes to eyes, nose to nose.
"What are you doing?" Xu Shiqi's back stiffened slightly and he stared at her.
"You've been suffering because of me, right?" Wen Jialuo whispered, not aggressive at all. "You're suffering because of me, right?"
Xu Shiqi stared blankly, her palms slightly cold. She held the coffee cup in her hands and inhaled the lingering aroma. Look, being stared at like this, it seems that she is immersed in deep affection and has no courage to hide away. It is not only distress and pain, but she has become a different person.
Wen Jialuo's eyes were still roaming around her, as if looking for some trace, but he finally stepped back in vain: "You look so timid, always hesitant when you meet me; even if there is a desire in your eyes that I can't ignore, you dare not take a step. Didn't you suffer when you knew that you liked the same sex?"
Xu Shiqi breathed a sigh of relief and laughed: "You are right. Ignorance is bliss. I decided not to like anyone from the beginning, so I cut off all thoughts and persisted. In fact, deliberately avoiding them all the way can make me peaceful." But in the end, I still couldn't escape the love net and was trapped in you. Xu Shiqi lowered his head and took a sip of coffee without saying this. However, this is basically an admission of his own thoughts. Her face was slightly hot, because the girl's eyes on her seemed to be a little hotter.
"I'm the exact opposite of you." Wen Jialuo said softly, "I was actually very depressed at the beginning. When you find that you think differently from most people, you will naturally have doubts. At the beginning, I was really a little tired of the world and had no interest in anything, so I didn't eat much. By the time I realized it, it was too late to control myself."
"Because of this problem, I suffered a lot. I regretted it afterwards, thinking that I was too young and didn't know how to cherish myself. But later I told so many lies that even I almost believed them." She spread her hands, "This is also the best excuse. I have been using it as a shield."
Wen Jialuo, who said this, sounded a bit mature. Xu Shiqi, who had not participated in that past, did not speak, and did not dare to ask about the torment. If someone can easily affirm themselves, there must be someone who will go to extremes and cannot face it. There are thousands of kinds of people in this world, and aren't she and I the opposite
"So, later I thought -" Wen Jialuo's tone suddenly changed, "After suffering so much, if no one is worth my efforts, then I will really live alone like in the made-up story; if fate really exists and I meet that woman, I will never let her go." She looked at Xu Shiqi, "Even if no one understands or forgives me, I will do this."
Xu Shiqi held her breath, unable to move as the girl stared at her. In an instant, she felt like a prey that had lost its strength and could only allow herself to be torn into pieces.
Strangely, this slightly violent thought made Xu Shiqi's heart beat even more uncontrollably. She didn't expect that such a thin girl could have such an aggressive look, and such a strong confidence that she was determined to win.
Perhaps, when even I couldn't see through my thoughts, the girl had seen through them clearly. Xu Shiqi felt a little sad. She knew that once she gave her feelings, there would be no turning back. The girl's reckless determination in her last sentence was the reason why she hesitated.
She didn't say anything, and the girl seemed to be waiting for her to express her opinion. She would be hated for her cowardice and timidity. Who would have known that she, who always looked calm and composed, actually had such a bad personality.
The silence in the room was finally broken by the ringing of the phone. Wen Jialuo looked at Xu Shiqi and slowly answered the phone.
"Hello… "
…
"I understand. I'll be right back."
"My grandfather is back." Wen Jialuo stood up, with the same sadness in her eyes as hers: "If I am the only one who is brave, it will be useless. But I promised you that no matter what decision you make," she paused. Xu Shiqi did not dare to look up, but vaguely heard that voice seemed to be choked with sobs, "I will be here."
The girl opened the door and went out, leaving it open. The warmth in the room was fading away, and Xu Shiqi sat there in a daze.
Coffee will get cold, so if people’s hearts are not covered, will they also get cold