Xu Shiqi went to see Dr. Cha at a later time than the agreed time.
Probably because of the agreement, Xu Shiqi never saw him with other patients when she arrived - he said they were clients. Dr. Cha also had two assistants and even a receptionist, but he never let them talk to him, and both of them knew the reason.
Seeing Xu Shiqi coming, Dr. Cha did not ask the reason, but just asked an assistant to ask the client who was consulting to go out and sit for a while.
Handing her a cup of fragrant tea, Dr. Cha folded his hands and listened.
There were two laptops in front of the desk, one of which he had prepared specifically for her. Writing by hand was too troublesome, inefficient, and would leave evidence if one wasn't careful.
Xu Shiqi pushed the tea aside and turned on the computer.
She has white hair.
Dr. Cha clicked on the message she sent, and his heart sank slightly. He looked up and saw Xu Shiqi's face was calm, his eyelids were slightly drooping, and his eyes were hidden, making it impossible to tell what was going on.
"Do you think it's because of you?" Dr. Cha asked softly.
Xu Shiqi closed his eyes and slowly tapped the keyboard. The crisp sound was slowly pressed out, as heavy as the woman's heart, which seemed to be suppressed to the extreme.
I have never seen her hair grow taller before. And the white hair is on the temples. I heard that only when you are sad will your hair grow there.
"So you are in pain?" Without waiting for Xu Shiqi to respond, Dr. Cha asked again, "Do you regret it?"
Xu Shiqi raised his eyelids and looked at him, almost indifferently.
"In fact, it's because you know that if you don't speak, she will worry, so you are particularly afraid of those few gray hairs." Doctor Cha shrugged. "Nowadays, the pace of life is so fast, it's not strange for young people to have a few gray hairs."
Am I too selfish
"Why do you say that?"
I wanted to be with her, so I agreed to this arrangement, but it made those who cared about me sad and painful. Every day they expected me to speak, but they were disappointed again and again.
"Have you ever thought that you should have just killed them right away?" Doctor Cha gestured. "You shouldn't have given them hope, creating a false psychological illusion. You should have made a fake medical report to prove that you had lost the chance to speak forever - a short pain is worse than a long one, and everyone will suffer less."
Xu Shiqi listened in a daze and gritted his teeth.
Isn't that too cruel? I can't bear it - Jialuo will blame herself forever for this, and will be a hundred times more miserable than she is now.
"Look," Dr. Cha smiled, "comparing the two, you still chose the easier way. Hope is always better than no hope, isn't it?"
Xu Shiqi rubbed his eyebrows and felt very tired.
"Actually, my job is to help you fake it when necessary," Dr. Cha added, "relieve your stress, but that's not part of my job."
Thank you. Xu Shiqi said silently, closed the computer, and left.
"You don't seem to understand what I mean." Doctor Cha said behind her, "It is most important to adjust yourself. Otherwise, even if I counsel you every day, your problems will only increase. If a fake psychological problem becomes real, then - you lose."
Xu Shiqi was shocked, turned around, bowed to him, and then left.
Without a taxi, there was no way to ask Wen Jialuo to pick him up. Xu Shiqi walked slowly towards where the two of them lived.
She rarely wears high heels now. On days when she doesn't need to be fast-paced, a pair of well-fitting flat shoes makes every step she takes feel solid, like she's stepping on time.
Dr. Cha's clinic was in the city center, and she walked slowly out, passing many places. Among them, there was a place that she probably would not have looked at in the past, not because she had no sympathy, but because it was far away from her and she never felt connected to it.
She passed by a school for the deaf and dumb.
It's a very small place, only about three floors, and it's right on the street.
As if possessed by some mysterious force, Xu Shiqi walked into the school gate.
In fact, it was just a side door next to the main gate. An old man guarding the door was reading a newspaper. When he saw her, he just looked up from the newspaper. Xu Shiqi smiled and pointed inside, and the old man actually let her in.
After entering, there is a small courtyard with a circular flower bed in the center. It looks like a class is in progress and it is very quiet.
"What can I do for you?"
Xu Shiqi turned his head and saw a young girl looking at him curiously.
"Who are you looking for?" the girl asked again.
Xu Shiqi couldn't speak, so he could only point around and give a harmless expression that said, "I'm just looking around."
"Oh." The girl seemed to understand her at once, and immediately made several movements with her fingers flying.
Xu Shiqi was stunned, and it took her a while to realize that the girl was using sign language. Her heart skipped a beat, her brain went blank, and her ears were buzzing, causing her to turn around and run away.
To be more precise, Xu Shiqi escaped from the school for the deaf and mute.
She didn't stop until she had run a long way, and looked back gasping for breath, as if an evil ghost was chasing her.
The girl's sign language flashed before her eyes. Xu Shiqi calmed down and realized that she must have been possessed by something. Why was she so scared? In order to relax, Xu Shiqi went into a bookstore. She had nothing else to do now, and the most common way to kill time was to read.
Rows of books exuded the scent of ink, certainly not the kind on the old lady's desk. Xu Shiqi slowly flipped through them and unknowingly held a book in his hand.
A book for learning sign language. Xu Shiqi looked at the words on the book, resisting the urge to put it down. After standing there for a long time, she thought, since she was idle anyway, she might as well take it as a way to master a knowledge, and there would be no harm in learning more. Thinking this way, Xu Shiqi suddenly figured out another thing. Doctor Cha was right. If she didn't have the courage to pick up those white hairs, how would she spend the rest of her life
That afternoon, Wen Jialuo was dragged into the bathroom by Xu Shiqi right after work. There were two small stools, a washbasin with a towel, and a kettle of water standing beside it.
"What are you doing?" Wen Jialuo was puzzled. She smiled when she saw Xu Shiqi took out the shampoo. "Why did you think of washing my hair?" She blinked ambiguously. "Otherwise, there is no need to go through so much trouble. Let's take a bath together. I can also help you wash it."
Xu Shiqi looked at her calmly, without wavering.
Wen Jialuo tilted her head and happily accepted her service. Today, the Municipal Bureau came to inspect all branches and required uniform dress, so she was wearing a light blue uniform. She took off her tie, unbuttoned two buttons, folded her collar in, and rolled up her sleeves.
"When I was a kid, my grandma often pressed me into the basin to wash my hair. Other than that, I never bow my head easily." Wen Jialuo said as he stole a kiss from the woman who was busy mixing water and adjusting the temperature, and asked, "Is there something good going on, huh?"
Xu Shiqi responded by nudging her a few times, smiling slightly, and pressing her down on the small stool.
Wen Jialuo was slightly disappointed. This woman had been a little uneasy since she came back from home. She racked her brains but couldn't remember anything that had hurt anyone. Grandma tried her best to avoid her difficulties, and Mom didn't seem to express any strange expression. Baohua was sent away by her, for fear that this person would ask more questions.
As for the Xu family, they didn't notice anything wrong when they went to pick up the person. Xu's father and mother pulled her aside and repeatedly reminded her not to be too anxious, saying that it would be bad to force the person to be unwilling to go home.
Today she suddenly had the urge to wash her hair in such a primitive way. What good thing was this?... Wen Jialuo was forced to hunch over on a small stool, with her chest and knees touching, and she felt blocked in her heart.
Xu Shiqi let Wen Jialuo's hair down and gently massaged it, using her fingers as a comb. She gently lifted the girl's hair above her ears and held her breath to see the few white hairs hidden again.
My white hair is three thousand feet long, and my sorrow is as long as it.
Taking a few deep breaths, Xu Shiqi looked carefully at the thin white hair. He moved closer and his breath blew behind the girl's ears through the air, making her so itchy that she kept dodging.
Don't move. Xu Shiqi warned silently and began to wash her hair.
In the rich foam, the white hair disappeared. Xu Shiqi patiently rubbed every corner for her. The girl raised her head slightly and squinted her eyes to look at her. Xu Shiqi kissed the tip of her nose, but unexpectedly, some foam was stained on the tip of his nose. Wen Jialuo stretched out his fingers to scrape it away, and then smeared it on her face.
The woman with foam on her hands had no time to care about the stuff on her face, but Wen Jialuo was free and just kept blowing bubbles on her face like he was blowing bubbles.
His cheeks felt cold and itchy. Xu Shiqi raised his elbow to smear the foam on his shoulders, then smiled and pressed Wen Jialuo's head into the basin - of course, it was just her hair.
The next step is to pour and change the water, rinsing over and over again. The black hair soaked in the water is as bright as satin, and it is really suitable for shooting commercials.
Patting the girl on the shoulder, he indicated that she had finished washing. Xu Shiqi wrapped her hair, but did not wipe the water off her face. He let her close her eyes and led her to the balcony outside in the dark.
"You, want to clean my ears?" Wen Jialuo finally grabbed the towel to wipe the water from her eyes, and then stared at the small spoon that appeared in her hand.
They busily moved a chair and a small stool. Xu Shiqi sat in the chair, placed the small stool in front of him, and waved at her.
Wen Jialuo was a little confused. But the setting sun shone into the balcony, giving the woman a light golden edge. The smile on her lips was like a flower that could be picked, blooming towards her. Wen Jialuo was like smelling the temptation of the nectar in the flower stamens. Before her mind could figure it out, her feet had already walked towards her spontaneously. She sat in front of the woman, gently resting her head on her knees, with a warm body under her cheek, and the hands that slowly wiped her hair were her favorite pair.
I had clearly rested my head on my grandmother's legs in this position not long ago, but my state of mind was so, so different.
Turning my head, I could see the shadows of two people falling into the living room, slanting and long, then gradually fading away to nothing.
Her ears felt a little itchy, and they were sensitive, so she almost shuddered when the cold spoon touched them. Xu Shiqi not only cleaned her ears, but also massaged them, rubbing the inside and outside of her auricles until her face was almost burning. She put her arms around the woman's waist, rubbing it unconsciously, and turned her head to gently nibble on the woman's knees, causing her to grab her earlobes in return.
She almost fell asleep during the service, and the woman let go of her ears and started to study her hair instead.
"What are you doing?" Awakened by the slight pain, Wen Jialuo reached out and grabbed the hand that was secretly committing the crime.
When she looked up, she saw a thin white hair lying in Xu Shiqi's palm.
"On my head?" Wen Jialuo scratched the painful spot and asked curiously, "Are there any more?"
Xu Shiqi nodded, bent down and pulled out those few white hairs.
"Oh, it seems that I'm getting old, and my hair is actually gray." Wen Jialuo looked at her with a smile, "Please don't look down on me." Then he rubbed his face again, "Look, do you have wrinkles? Do you have nasolabial lines?"
Xu Shiqi leaned over and kissed those places where wrinkles and nasolabial lines might appear in the future, and then he saw the corners of the girl's mouth droop.
"Why do I feel comforted? Has it really grown?" She yelled and struggled to stand up to find a mirror.
When your hair is grey, your face is full of wrinkles, and your nasolabial lines are visible even when you don't smile, I will still love you. I have so much to say, but I can't say it. That promise is like a tight spell. In the first few days, it rang in my ears day and night and was deeply engraved in my mind. Xu Shiqi felt that he had almost forgotten his voice. How could he squeeze the words out of his throat? He couldn't find the breath flowing through his mouth.
When Wen Jialuo noticed that Xu Shiqi was about to speak, she immediately sat back down. She held Xu Shiqi's hand tightly and opened her mouth, wishing she could speak for her.
Xu Shiqi opened his mouth three times and struggled for a while, but in the end he just shed tears.
"Don't tell me, let's not tell you." Wen Jialuo held her face distressedly. The sadness in Xu Shiqi's eyes made her heart twist into a ball, "Take your time, it's good that you have this idea, don't give up, remember, just don't give up."
Yes, don't give up. Xu Shiqi closed his eyes and slowly put his head on her thin shoulders.