"I'm not very good at complimenting people." Gu Yan said suddenly.
His voice was low and slightly hoarse.
It was Yan Suizhi who was clearly remembering, but he seemed to have experienced it.
He seemed to see Yan Suizhi who was twenty years old in his memory getting smaller, with green eyebrows and eyes, and his body and bones showed the thinness typical of young people when they were stripped and jointed. He always stood outside the crowd, gentle and lonely.
"Huh?" Yan Suizhi responded.
"I'm not very good at complimenting people, but you can tell me what you encounter and do in the future, whether it's interesting or boring, kind or dark, you can tell me." Gu Yan said in a slow voice, "I want to hear it. "
The voice even caused a slight vibration in Yan Suizhi's body, and the sour feeling like a rising tide came up again.
Yan Suizhi had a thorough experience with Gu Yan by eating the marrow and knowing the taste.
This kind of Gu Yan makes people unable to refuse, at least he can't refuse, and even always impulsively wants to respond more.
Yan Suizhi sighed softly suddenly, and his body slowly relaxed.
For a moment, he closed his eyes, and felt as if he had returned to the old house more than 20 years ago, and he lived slowly in the old house. He leaned lazily on the windowsill while sketching. , while half-truthfully said to the people in the room: "I encountered a little trouble two days ago..."
Strangely, in this moment's imagination, it was Gu Yan who was listening to him complaining in the room.
And he didn't feel bad about it.
There was another car passing by on the suspended road in the distance, and the headlights cast a bright light in the house, and then disappeared suddenly.
Gu Yan felt the chin on his shoulder move, as if he nodded slightly, and then Yan Suizhi made a "hmm".
After a while, as if to confirm this answer, Yan Suizhi said, "That medical case... I know you are curious. In fact, you don't have to be so careful, it's not something that can't be mentioned, I just don't know where to say it. rise."
Originally, Gu Yan didn't know the reason, but after hearing Yan Suizhi talk about the reason for his parents' death, he suddenly touched the edge.
Yan Suizhi's parents died of genetic surgery, and that case also involved genetic surgery.
Gu Yan said in a low voice, "The defendant..."
His voice was a little hesitant, Yan Suizhi had already taken over the conversation, and he gave a soft "ah", as if he had finally found the beginning: "The defendant, my client, Bill Lu... who was involved in my parents' surgery."
Things are so ironic sometimes, he spent more than ten years suppressing his inner suspicion because of his parents' last words.
The relapse only took a day.
Similar surgical accidents, similar outcomes, related people. Even if there is no evidence, it is enough to make him fall back into the demon barrier when he was fifteen years old.
It's as if the things that have been suppressed for so many years have finally found a vent, no matter right or wrong, as long as you can vent some of them.
He hopes that the defendant can go to jail, hope that he can experience all the things that the victims have experienced, hope that he can know what it would be like to walk alone for ten years, and hope that life will pay for life.
He also wanted to go to the cemetery of Helan Star and say to the people sleeping there, "Look, my suspicions were not unreasonable. You have taught me such a long list of things, should you get up and say something? Sorry? Although it's ten years late, it's fine, I'm very generous, and I can reluctantly understand."
It's a pity that the person sleeping there won't really hear it, and won't get up and hug him and apologize with a smile as he wishes.
"Two days before I received the case, I could hardly sit down and read the materials." Yan Suizhi chuckled a little bit self-deprecatingly, "That was probably the most calm and steady time I've ever had. Later, I was finally able to enter the materials. , but found some loopholes in the prosecution's evidence."
Very subtle things, maybe in some rough cases, will be missed by everyone.
But when he saw it, it was hard to ignore.
All who followed the case, including himself, acquiesced that Bill Rue was guilty.
But the existence of loopholes - even if the loophole is due to the negligence of the prosecution itself, also means that there is a 1 in 10,000 possibility that Bill Rue is innocent.
And as long as there is such a possibility, as a defense lawyer, he should maintain it.
In those days, Yan Suizhi shut himself in the bedroom and sat in the dark for a long time.
"I actually had a lot of vicious thoughts, deliberately ignoring those loopholes, and even using verbal traps so that others couldn't find it, or going around the court a few times, inducing witnesses to unknowingly say some false testimony, filling in those Loopholes, if I want, there are actually many ways to nail the parties to the dock." Yan Suizhi paused for a moment, then smiled vaguely, and said in a low voice, "Is it a little dark? In fact, this is already beautified by me. After a hundred times the results, I found that... even if I tell you honestly, I can't tell you those things that are too dark."
"At that time, my mind was almost venting, and I thought of countless ideas. But..." Yan Suizhi sighed softly.
Gu Yan could feel him pulling the corner of his mouth, as if he still wanted to try to speak out as usual, not so concerned, even with a smile. But the corners of his mouth slowly retracted, "That shouldn't be what the two of them want to see..."
"Look, there's nothing I can do about my parents. It's been more than ten years since they passed away, and I still don't want them to see those..."
He fell silent again, and after a while he hummed again, and said in a low voice, "It seems that they can still see."
He actually... always felt that he was not a good person.
But in those short and long ten years, he tried to live according to his parents' wishes, not doing too many outrageous things, not indulging in meaningless things, subsidizing some welfare homes and orphanages, helping some people who could help people, uphold some perhaps innocuous justice.
Then he suddenly realized that these things had been carved into the bone and blood unknowingly.
This is probably left to him by his parents, and he can't get rid of it in this life.
"I spent three days alone in the house, and finally decided to plead not guilty." Yan Suizhi said.
He made a decision, but he wasn't happy.
Because he'll send Carl Rue out of court.
"I had some unconscionable thoughts at the time. I didn't want myself to be too happy, and I hoped that someone would scold me. Just take it as... borrow someone else's mouth to vent." Yan Suizhi smiled again, "I can't say it is What mentality."
That's why his attitude at that time was extraordinarily abrupt, and he said all kinds of bastards to the outside world, straight and sharp, like a rebellious lawsuit who ignores justice and only cares about money and results.
Then, as he wished, when he was at his lowest, most people scolded him, punished him verbally, and even hurt him deliberately.
What it was like at that time was beyond imagination.
I don't want him to think about it carefully.
"I saw an unpublished report saying that Karl Lu was brought to the dock again, and you went to the trial." Gu Yan raised the topic in a deep voice.
Yan Suizhi: "Well."
Karl Ruo was later involved in the case. At that time, Yan Suizhi had been investigating him for a while, and anonymously gave evidence to the police.
That time, the case involved was bigger, there was more evidence, and there should be no more loopholes.
"I checked a lot of things about him during that time. Unfortunately, I still couldn't find any direct evidence to prove that he was directly related to the death of my parents. But the result of the trial was not bad. Life is for life. For the plaintiff, it is an acceptable result." Yan Suizhi said.
On the day of the trial, he went alone, entered the courtroom at the beginning of the trial, sat quietly in the last row, quietly listened to Carl Rue being convicted of one crime, and then left quietly.
It was his 27th birthday.
He still remembered that on his tenth birthday, the beautiful and gentle lady at home held a dynamic camera and teased him with a smile, and the hibiscus that he painted in the yard was swaying slightly by the wind. As clear as it just passed.
Yet he has been alone for 12 years.
12 years seems to be a short time, and it has gone by in the blink of an eye.
Sometimes it seems too long.
"I sometimes think, if only I could find more evidence. Maybe my parents would be able to rest their eyes in that court trial." Yan Suizhi was quiet for a while, and then added, "But this is actually a fallacy. Because the defendant pays a life for a life, the real purpose of resting is actually me, and the people under the tombstone have slept for so long, how can I still see it."
Gu Yan suddenly understood why he always washed his hands.
Just like when he was the saddest, he would deliberately invite people to scold him.
He has been alone for too many years, and is used to taking all the problems to himself. When it is not satisfactory, he will be a little tired of himself, nailing himself to the dock before everyone else, accusing himself, sentence yourself.
But no matter what punishment he was subjected to, he would always stand up straight, because the road was still long, and he would have to walk alone for a long, long time...
There was silence in the room, and after a while, Yan Suizhi heard Gu Yan say in a muffled voice, "At least I can see it."
He froze for a moment, and moved his body away slightly. He saw that Gu Yan's eyes were covered with a layer of light under the night, and he looked at him solemnly.
Then he felt that his hand was being held, and the water stains that he had washed just now had already dried, and it had also stained Gu Yan's body temperature, but it was still a little cooler than Gu Yan's palm.
He saw Gu Yan lowered his eyes, bowed his head slightly and kissed his index finger...
Then the middle finger, the ring finger, the little finger...
Gu Yan kissed each other one by one, each time he touched it, Yan Suizhi's heart softened suddenly, and in the end, it became a mess.
He curled his fingers and said to Gu Yan, "Look up."
Yan Suizhi leaned over and kissed his chin, then the corners of his mouth, and finally his lips.
…
The night is warm, the light is like water,
The birthday wishes from a long time ago sounded in his mind countless times: we hope that you will always be carefree, without any pain, without special growth, without understanding those complicated and contradictory things, without making troublesome choices …
Yan Suizhi closed his eyes and kissed Gu Yan. After twenty-eight years, he was finally able to give an answer—
I'm sorry, I don't seem to be able to do any of the things you hoped for. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to meet someone.
So don't worry, we'll be fine.