"It's not because of one thing, it's even hard to tell which day and year it is. If you have to draw a dividing line..."
The landlord seemed to be seriously recalling. After a while, he said: "After I participated in the project of the institute, I was too busy to touch the ground for a period of time. I was very worried that the house would be too deserted, which would cause Jacques to think too much."
He smiled and said: "You know, the kid will have such an awkward age. My own period was especially long, from the age of ten to the early twenties. For ten years or so, I was too screwed to even think of a dog. Worried that Jacques would do the same. So he kept some cats and dogs with him, and he liked them very much."
Not only Jacques, but Mervyn Bai himself liked those little things very much and tried his best to raise them well.
So later, when he was influenced by the laboratory of the institute and began to cast shadows on those small animals, he suffered more than anyone else.
He liked them so much that he considered them important family members, but because of that, he had to stay away from them.
Otherwise, he is very afraid that he will consume those relaxed and beautiful feelings in the long-term psychological torture.
"He was mad at you for sending away the cats and dogs?" Yan Suizhi asked guessingly.
Unexpectedly, the landlord shook his head, "He is really unhappy, but he is not angry with me."
At that time, Mervyn Bai was even mentally prepared, thinking that Jacques would definitely make trouble about this matter for a long time, and even had some subtle estrangements with him. It may take many years, until one day I can understand his helplessness, and the estrangement in the teenage years will gradually disappear.
However, Jacques did not make trouble, which surprised Mervyn Bai at the time.
Jacques, who was in his early ten years, was sad, but he did not make a noise, but stubbornly believed that Mervyn Bai must have his reasons for doing this.
To a certain extent, he is actually very sensible, or in other words, he has absolute trust in his adoptive father, knowing that the other party will never give away the things he cherishes easily, there must be a last resort.
"But that kid's inquisitiveness is very strong." The landlord was a little helpless, "Maybe it is innate to people with great talent? This is actually an advantage and should never be punished. But I really didn't want him to know the reason at that time. ."
The hysterical madness of laboratory animals is by no means a pleasant subject. Even depressed and depressed.
That's not a picture or scene suitable for an eleven- or twelve-year-old child to see. So Mervyn Bai found some other reasons to prevaricate it.
"After a few years, I resigned from the research institute." The landlord was a little helpless, "This behavior was also very abrupt to the kid, so it inspired his inquiry. But I can't explain it clearly. The rejection was just an intuition, with no real evidence. I couldn’t even tell what the purpose of the institute was at the time.”
So for Jacques' inquiry, Mervyn Bai once again chose to prevaricate.
On the one hand he didn't want to mention it himself, and on the other hand he didn't want Jacques to be exposed to those things.
When he was young, Jacques Bai wiped and asked again and again, while Mervyn Bai gave false reasons again and again.
"Actually, I thought later that the reason for the estrangement is this." The landlord said, "He gave me absolute trust, but I didn't tell him the truth. I always dealt with him with all kinds of jokes and fabricated reasons, no matter what the reasons were. The original intention, at least in terms of trust, let him down."
The landlord thought for a while: "After that, he won't be as close to me as before, and it may be a real rebellious period? Sometimes I suddenly drop a word, like a soft knife. It made people vomit blood."
"But I didn't realize it at the time. I thought that the age that the little dog would dislike has finally arrived, although it was a long time later than I expected. In those six months, we often had conflicts over some small things, which were not intense, and also No one was making a fuss, but no one was angry. It seemed that all of a sudden, family members who had been speculating everywhere had suddenly become the same tenants who were not suitable for anything.”
When Yan Suizhi heard the description of "a tenant in the same room", he was relieved: "It won't fall to the point of a tenant, after all, it's a father and son."
"Yeah," the landlord said, "I think so when I'm calm, but it's not pleasant to have such thoughts from time to time in my anger. He had just entered college at that time, and he didn't come home often. I overheard that he His biological parents have been quietly looking for him, showing guilt and kindness towards him, and trying to reconcile with him. To be honest, I usually have a lot of confidence, and when I quarrel, I feel that I still lack a bit of blood.”
"Afterwards, he was in the second half of his freshman year. When he came back from a vacation, I accidentally saw a folder of his..."
He said this, still frowning. It seems that after so many years, when I think back to that moment, I still can't do it without waves.
"I knew at a glance what those diagrams and data were. They were all things that I came across in the research institute! I thought he was timid at first, but he actually had the ability to secretly dig through my old bottom. After taking a closer look, I found out that there are many differences in the details of the research data. How should I put it... It is very immature. At first glance, it seems that a person with great talent but very little experience tinkered with it himself."
The landlord sighed, "I was completely stunned at the time. Rather than secretly digging through my old background, I was more afraid of his own research. You can't imagine his talent. If he really goes the wrong way, what consequences will be caused. That was probably the worst argument I've ever had with him, and it's the last."
Mervyn Bai didn't expect that the result of his prevarication again and again would be like this. Jacques not only did not give up, but also explored it himself.
During that quarrel, Jacques deleted all the information in front of Mervyn Bai and shattered it forever. Then packed up and went back to school, never came back.
"I thought that the quarrel was the same as before, but the tantrums lasted a little longer. Maybe on the next vacation, he would show up at the door with his luggage and backpack cross-body. It didn't take long. , I heard that he went to live with his biological parents temporarily."
The landlord was silent for a while, and then said: "I was very angry at first, very angry, I felt like I had spent twenty years raising a white-eyed wolf. I was so angry that my liver hurt. That's when I told Lin Yuan not to stand in front of me. Speaking of that kid, I can't say a word. For a while, I comforted myself—that kid was very thoughtful, maybe he misunderstood some angry words, so he was deliberately angry with me. I thought about pulling my face down and taking the initiative to talk to him. But unfortunately, I was targeted by the Manson brothers at that time."
At that time, Mervyn Bai suddenly felt that Jacques returned to his biological family, and it was not a bad thing to be estranged from him, at least he would not be implicated by him.
So Mervyn Bai acted a lot in those years, pushing his adopted son farther and farther against his original intention.
The original deep ditch cracked a little bit into the sky, and over time, it could no longer be closed.
"I was worried for a while that he didn't stop his research and would follow in my footsteps and be involved in those messy things." The landlord said, "Fortunately..."
Hearing this sentence, Yan Suizhi's eyes moved, and then he lowered himself, fiddling with the mint leaves on the dinner plate.
He originally wanted to remind the landlord about seeing Jacques Bai at the rest stop. But now he suddenly changed his mind and swallowed those tempting questions.
The landlord didn't notice his expression, so he took care of himself for a moment and said, "Fortunately, he entered the Ivy League after graduation. This is probably the only thing that is gratifying to me."
He suddenly remembered an afternoon many, many years ago.
He does root carving in the yard, and the floor-to-ceiling windows of the study on the second floor are bright and clean. When he was moving his muscles and bones, he accidentally raised his eyes and saw Jacques leaning in his chair with his earphones plugged in, and in front of him was a sheet of electronic data.
It was Jacques' last short vacation in high school, and he was going to go to university soon.
At that time, Mervyn Bai looked at the figure behind the window, and suddenly realized that Jacques seemed to have not asked those questions about the laboratory and resignation for a long time.
The little devil who always has a strong inquisitive mind and is chattering and noisy, has grown into a different look without knowing it, much mature and more restrained.
So much so that sometimes Mervyn Bai couldn't see what he was thinking.
Growth should be gratifying, but Mervyn Bai suddenly had a feeling at that moment...
It seems that this little devil he has grown up with will one day become farther and farther away from him, and become more and more unfamiliar. Maybe one day, he will no longer go home.