In 2007, the college entrance examination ended, and Sang Yan ushered in the longest summer vacation in her life. After returning from Beiyu, for a long time, he never heard anyone mention Wen Yifan again.
He got good grades in the test and got an admission letter from a top-ranked university in the country.
His parents were happy and proud, his relatives pulled him out from time to time to praise him, and everything around him was drowned in joy.
Freed from the hardships of studying, Sang Yeon has more time and a rich and fulfilling life.
Sang Yan didn't mention the relationship with Wen Yifan to anyone. He went out to play ball and games with his friends as usual, took care of his younger sister impatiently under the lessons of his parents as usual, and stayed up late and slept until the sun rose as usual.
Live your life as usual.
This seems to be very simple.
Leaving the city, as long as he no longer takes the initiative to inquire, is equivalent to cutting off the intersection between the two. Without doing it deliberately, he can completely break away from her world.
It's a no-brainer.
Sang Yan never deliberately recalled Wen Yifan as a person.
He felt that it was just a matter of luck and not so good.
Luckily, I met someone I like.
Bad luck, she doesn't like me.
Very common.
Usually, it makes him feel that one more sentence, one more second of sadness, and one more thought of her.
They all seem hypocritical.
…
I thought of Wen Yifan again, it was the day I reported to Nanwu University.
Sang Yan met Duan Jiaxu, who was in the same dormitory, and learned that he was not a native of Nanwu, but came from Yihe. Hearing this, he almost blurted out, "How is Yihe?"
"It's good, you can go and play when you have time." Duan Jiaxu laughed, "It's just that the climate is quite different from here, so I'm still a little uncomfortable when I come to Nanwu."
At that time, one of the other two people in the dormitory was on the phone with home, and the other was taking a shower.
The two big boys leaned against the railing of the balcony, blowing the summer evening wind. Hearing this, Sang Yan lowered his eyes and took out the cigarette case from his pocket, bit a cigarette into his mouth, and said nothing.
He silently handed Duan Jia Xu the cigarette case.
Duan Jiaxu took it, but he just put it in his hand and played with it, without any extra movement.
Sang Yan took out the lighter and watched the flame lick the butt of the cigarette, giving off a scarlet light. He was blowing out the smoke ring, looking a little absent-minded, inexplicably remembered that Wen Yifan seemed to be a person who didn't like smoking very much.
Every time she met someone smoking on the street, she would grab his arm and walk past.
Sang Yan couldn't remember when she started smoking.
Since when did she willingly become the kind of person she doesn't like.
"What's wrong?" Duan Jia Xu asked casually, seeing that he didn't speak for a while, "Do you have a friend who took the test there?"
"No," Sang Yan turned her head sideways, her expression idle, "I wanted to report it."
"Then why didn't you report it?"
On a quiet night, the wind swept the aroma of osmanthus, bringing the heat to the face.
Sang Yan was wearing a black T-shirt, her eyes were like paint, her elbows were on the railing, listening to the laughter coming from outside. He was silent, did not answer, and finished the cigarette in his hand.
I do not know how long it has been.
When Duan Jiaxu thought he would not answer.
Sang Yan suddenly laughed lightly and said calmly, "It's too late to change my mind."
The day went by step by step.
Sang Yan finished the military training, got tanned, and started life at the university. During this period, he was pursued and confessed by many girls, but he didn't have any thoughts in this regard.
I just felt troublesome and tired, and in the end, I didn't even bother to refuse, and didn't give people any chance to approach.
Lived extremely carefree.
Sang Yan didn't feel like he was waiting for someone on purpose.
He was just unwilling to settle and compromise.
He will never do it. He thinks that when he is old, or when he thinks that he has met a suitable time, he hastily decides to find someone to fall in love with.
He never felt that a person's life must have another half.
If you are lucky enough to meet, of course it is good.
But if not.
It's been a lifetime, it's no big deal.
In the early morning of the day when the frost fell, Sang Yan had an inexplicable dream of Wen Yifan, who was not very popular in the class at that time, not long after the first year of high school started. The "Warm Vase" who was talked about behind his back and nicknamed his still good-natured.
When he woke up, he frowned at the time.
It was just ten past two in the morning.
It's already the 24th.
Sang Yan sat on the bed and woke up for a while. Maybe it was the fermentation of the night's emotions. At that moment, he couldn't control his emotions and impulses at all. He took the phone, got off the bed, and walked to the balcony.
He familiarly typed Wen Yifan's number on the dial button.
A second before the call was made, countless thoughts flashed through Sang Yan's mind.
How does she react when she hears her own voice.
She must have fallen asleep at this point, will she be angry when she wakes up
Will you see that he didn't pick up directly.
If he said that, is it inappropriate to make this call again
But he wanted to know if she could adapt to a new environment.
Will you be bullied.
But these thoughts all stopped when the mechanical female voice came from the other end of the phone.
"Sorry, the number you dialed is empty."
It was the first time, and Sang Yan felt it clearly.
He turned out, it was true, that he was completely abandoned by Wen Yifan.
It seemed that the accumulated emotions erupted in an instant, Sang Yan bowed his head in embarrassment, his Adam's apple sliding up and down. He put the phone down from his ear and dialed again, listening to the same thing being said over and over again.
He continued to repeat until he hung up automatically.
Stubbornly, repeated countless times.
Quiet enough to hear nothing at night, the boy leaned against the railing and continued to do the same and meaningless things. It was not until the phone was turned off that he slowly put down the phone and stayed alone on the balcony for a long time.
Seeing that the sky was getting brighter, he returned to the dormitory.
Sang Yan always seemed to have something to say.
For example, the time when I went to Beiyu to see her.
He thought about it for a long time and practiced it many times, but he didn't have time to tell her.
And this time.
Happy birthday, it seems.
Probably will be.
I can't say anything to her again in my life.
During the winter vacation of freshman year, Sang Yan was dragged by Su Hao'an to have dinner with her high school classmates. It was also that time when he heard the news of Wen Yifan from Zhong Siqiao for the first time after half a year.
At that time, Sang Yan felt that the box was too stuffy and went out to the corridor to smoke.
Not long after, Zhong Siqiao also came out to answer the phone. Because of the dim light, she didn't notice Sang Yan on the other side: "You really won't come back during the winter vacation? I'm still thinking of you coming to Nanwu or I'll go to Beiyu to play with you for a few days."
Hearing this, Sang Yan paused.
Zhong Siqiao: "Why didn't you come back? Are you in love?"
Sanyan looked over.
"Why didn't you come back? It's so miserable for you to be alone there..." Zhong Siqiao said, "Okay, then you can pay attention over there. By the way, I downloaded the online game you told me before, and now Back to play late. I forgot which district you said, district 2?"
"Then I remember correctly. But I'm quite surprised how you started playing games." Zhong Siqiao said, "What's your game name, I'll name you a sister!"
"Mild boiling water?" Zhong Siqiao laughed for a long time. "What's your name? Well, then I'll make ferocious ice water."
…
Later, Sang Yan learned the name of the online game Zhong Siqiao was playing from Su Hao'an. One night before New Year's Eve, he was lying in bed and suddenly got up and turned on the computer.
Staring at the screen for a while, he opened the webpage and downloaded the online game.
Sang Yan subconsciously wanted to register a male account, and when he thought of Wen Yifan, he hesitated, swiped the mouse, and changed it to register a female account. He stared at the screen and paused for a few seconds at the interface for entering the game ID.
Then, he typed two words slowly.
- Defeat.
He conceded.
He simply couldn't let go.
Sang Yan played for a few days, and only when he reached the same level as Wen Yifan did he enter the words "gentle boiling water" in the window for adding friends.
This online game can randomly add friends, one of the level tasks is to add 50 friends.
It didn't take long for Wen Yifan to agree.
Through game positioning, Sang Yan found her location. He controlled the characters in the game and walked to her side. Seeing her playing the blame alone, he did the same.
After a while, Sang Yan stopped and started typing.
[Defeat]: Form a team
At the same time, the movements of the characters controlled by Wen Yifan also stopped. Before long, a small bubble popped out of her head.
[Mild boiled water]: Good.
At that moment, Sang Yan completely accepted his fate, and felt extremely relaxed after half a year. He pulled his lower lip, remembering what he said when the two met for the last time.
——“I won’t pester you anymore.”
It's a promise.
Just like the phrase "I will always be with you" he said to her before.
Since he promised her so, he has to do it.
But he can't.
I can only change my identity and come back to her side.
Wen Yifan doesn't go online very often, the most frequent is in the semester of his freshman year. During this period of time, the two gradually became familiar with each other, and occasionally said a few things in the three dimensions.
He knew that the most frequent place she went to at school was the library.
Know that she works part-time in a milk tea shop off-campus.
Know that she has never had a boyfriend.
…
Sang Yan is discreet and unobtrusive, using this method to inquire about her life.
After that, maybe because of the busyness of reality.
The number of times Wen Yifan logged into the game gradually decreased. This cycle is gradually elongated, from a few days to a week to a few weeks to a few months. But in the past four years, she has never completely stopped the game.
The two chatted about trivial matters.
[Gentle boiled water]: Your name is quite unlucky.
[Gentle Boiling Water]: Failure and surrender
[Gentle boiled water]: No, are you reading xiang or jiang
[Defeated]: jiang.
[Gentle boiled water]: Then you typed it wrong? Shouldn't it be will
[Defeat]: Will be registered.
[Gentle Boiling Water]: I've been too busy with my studies recently, so I might not be able to play anymore.
[Defeat]: Hmm.
[Gentle Boiling Water]: I feel like we have been forming a team together. Although I don't know if you have waited, I am still afraid that you will wait for me sometimes. So let me tell you.
[Defeat]: There are waiting.
[Failed]: But I am preparing for an internship, and there are very few logins.
[Falling]: Contact again when you have time.
The only way for the two to communicate was reduced.
Sang Yan would go to Yihe every once in a while as usual, and occasionally did not meet her, but most of the time, she could see her current situation. Seeing that she lost weight again, made a new friend by her side, and cut her hair short, she seemed more cheerful.
After that, WeChat, the communication software, was launched.
One night, Sang Yan saw a red dot in the "New friend" column. He opened it and saw that the other party's name was only "Wen", and the WeChat ID was wenyifan1024.
——Added through mobile phone address book.
Sang Yan stared at it for a few seconds, then clicked to pass.
He didn't take the initiative to say anything to him.
It seems that adding him is just a move under a mistake.
Another time passed.
Sang Yan saw that she had posted her first Moments. The picture is of a large stack of newspapers on a desk, and the copy she attached is: [I read the newspapers for a week, and I will start to memorize them tomorrow if I have nothing to do.]
Zhong Siqiao laughed at the bottom: [Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!]
Following the handwriting on the picture, Sang Yan recognized that it was Yihe Daily.
Going to Yihe again, when passing a newsstand, Sang Yan paused and walked over. He took out a few hundred sheets from his wallet, handed them to the auntie at the newsstand, and said softly, "Auntie, the daily Yihe Daily, can you keep a copy for me?"
"Ah? Keep one?"
"Well, I'll get it once every three months."
…
On the day of Wen Yifan's graduation ceremony, Sang Yan entered the auditorium, sat in the back row and watched her come to the stage to receive her graduation certificate. He watched the graduation ceremony as she was pulled out by friends to take pictures.
In his eyes, she stood in the crowd, always the most conspicuous one.
It will always be the one that he can see at first sight.
At a certain moment, Sang Yan took out his phone from his pocket. He stared at Wen Yifan in the distance, she was trapped in a sea of people, as if separated from him by a barrier.
So many times.
Not once did she discover his presence.
From start to finish.
She never seemed to see him.
Sang Yan was wearing a formal white shirt and suit pants, although he was not used to it. He raised his phone, and after four years, in front of her, he called out her name: "Wen Yifan."
Following the voice, Wen Yifan looked over blankly.
It was the first time that Sang Yan appeared in front of her without a mask and hat.
He is extremely conflicted.
I want to be discovered by her, but I don't want to be discovered by her.
At the moment when Wen Yifan's eyes completely fell on his face.
Sang Yan still turned her head and walked in another direction. He looked down at Wen Yifan on the screen of his mobile phone, with a simple smile on his face, as if he was still immersed in the joy of graduation.
As it should be.
It's a day that makes her happy.
Not suitable to see, should not see people.
He bent his lower lip and stepped away from the excitement step by step.
Like any time before.
He came alone and left alone.
It seemed to repeat back and forth, a lonely and endless journey.
After graduating, Sang Yan and a few friends opened a joint venture bar. He stayed at the company where he was an intern for his senior year. He was busy with work, and the number of trips to Yihe decreased accordingly.
Through Wen Yifan's circle of friends, Sang Yan knew that she had changed her job and went to the news column of Yihe Radio and Television.
The rest, he didn't know.
When he is free, Sang Yan will log in to that online game.
After several years, this online game has gradually declined, the number of players is not as good as before, and the friend list is full of ashes. Walking along the map, I can only occasionally see a few studios that brush the level.
One night in the summer of 2013.
Sang Yan habitually boarded the game before going to bed, but this time, she unexpectedly saw Wen Yifan, who had not logged in for more than a year. He watched for a few seconds before confirming that he was not mistaken, and flew directly to her.
[Falling]: Has the account been hacked
[Gentle boiling water]: … Are you still playing
[Mild boiling water]: I cleaned the computer software, and suddenly found that I haven't uninstalled the game, so I went up to take a look.
[Defeat]: Hmm.
[Defeat]: How are you doing
Be quiet for a while.
[Mild boiling water]: Not very good.
[Gentle Boiling Water]: Life can't be happy, but that's all it can do.
Sanyan was stunned.
That was the first time she showed the negative energy of life in front of herself.
A few more words of nonsense.
[Mild boiling water]: I still have something to do. I'll go down first.
After that, Wen Yifan went offline.
Sang Yan stared at the screen, and after a long time, booked a flight to Yihe at noon the next day.
It was already night in Yihe.
Sang Yan got into a taxi and went to the door of Yihe Radio and Television. Before he got out of the car, he saw Wen Yifan coming out of the car. She carried a bag and walked forward slowly, her expression a little empty.
He got out of the car and followed her silently.
Wen Yifan walked straight ahead, crossed a street, and turned. When passing a cake shop, she stopped outside the door for three seconds, staring at the strawberry cake in the glass window.
As if she thought the price was too expensive, she quickly retracted her gaze and moved on.
Wen Yifan sat down on a bench by the street and stared at the floor absently.
No crying, no playing on the phone, no calling.
did not do anything.
Don't know what happened.
Sang Yan stood at the corner and stared at her for a long time. His eyelashes moved slightly, and he turned his head into the cake shop to buy the strawberry cake. He paid, but didn't find the cake box packed in the clerk's hand.
He pointed outside and made a request: "Can you help me give this cake to the woman sitting on the bench?"
Shop clerk: "Huh?"
"Just say this is a new product in your store." Sang Yan thought of a lame reason, "Let her promote it on the Moments, and you can give her a free copy."
…
Three months after returning to Nanwu, Sang Yan could think of Wen Yifan sitting alone on a bench in silence every day. At a certain moment, he finally figured it out, got up and turned on the computer to start writing his resignation letter.
If she is having a bad time.
He didn't seem to have anything to worry about anymore.
Sang Yan remembered the words he had not yet had time to send in the game.
- Do you want to change to another place to develop
But after he sent it successfully, she was offline.
Haven't logged in since then.
She still hadn't heard from her.
But this also seems to be an easy thing to do.
if you don't come.
Then, I'll go see you.
On the night of the official resignation, Sang Yan was called by Su Haoan to "work overtime" for a drink. As soon as he entered the door, he immediately saw Wen Yifan sitting on one of the platforms.
She was wearing a light-colored sweater, her complexion was as white as paper, but her lips were red, and she smiled and chatted with Zhong Siqiao opposite.
Just like every moment before.
At that moment, Sang Yan was in a trance for a moment.
It's like entering a fantasy.
Sang Yan didn't go directly to the second floor as before, but walked to the bar and talked to He Mingbo. He Mingbo was a little puzzled and asked, "Brother, why don't you go up?"
He replied absently, "Ah, wait a minute."
He Mingbo: "Then I'll make you a glass of wine?"
"Need not."
The two chatted casually.
At this time, Wen Yifan's hair made a huge noise. He looked at the situation and saw that the wine in Yu Zhuo's hand was overturned, all of which fell on her body, and apologized with a white face.
She was obviously frozen in alcohol and stood up immediately.
After the brief negotiation, Wen Yifan seemed to be planning to go to the bathroom. She raised her eyes to meet his. She didn't seem to recognize it, and she seemed to have noticed his existence long ago, her eyes were very calm. He quickly looked away.
He Mingbo, who was next door, was talking: "Hey, this looks pretty good, I'll let Yu Zhuo deal with it—"
Sang Yan stood up straight, looked at Wen Yifan's back, and interrupted him.
"I'll go."
really.
He was still unbearable, the feeling of being cut off from the world by her.
He wants to see her, then, he should see her.
Since I can't love anyone anymore.
That's a very poor life.
To love that person, to fight to the death for a lifetime, still want to have the person.
-End of the show-