After ten days as an orangutan in the Maldives, I finally stepped back into the territory of my motherland.
Through this trip to the Maldives, I said with tears: It’s better to be in China, follow China, and have buns to eat...
After returning home, I dragged Jiang Li and took three reusable shopping bags to the city, and bought a lot of ingredients for Jiang Li to come back. What? How could Jiang Li let me dictate? Just kidding, does he still want to eat!
Then I made a big table full of dishes.
Then eat.
Then I ate too much... 囧.
Because I ate too much dinner, I was struggling to move like a pregnant woman. I lay on the bed, stroking my belly, belching with satisfaction and humming.
Jiang Li looked at me with disdain, and said, "You are overindulgent."
Jiang Li's ability to express really terrified me, so I didn't bother to talk to him, I struggled to get up from the bed, and took out the Jianweixiaoshi tablets from the drawer to eat.
I was taking medicine, Jiang Li also sat up from the bed, took my medicine bottle and looked through it, and asked absently: "It seems that you often take too much? I really opened my eyes."
I said angrily: "No, my life is very healthy."
Jiang Li looked at the medicine bottle, narrowed his eyes suddenly, and said with a smile, "It's really healthy... You haven't taken this medicine for at least three years, right?"
I:"?"
Jiang Li shook the medicine bottle in his hand, and very gently announced the news that made me sad: "This medicine has expired."
I was shocked, took the medicine and took a look, it was so good, it really is. It's really a leak in the house and it rains all night, what should I do? Do I have to go to the hospital with my stomach full and tell the doctor that I ate too much food and then took the wrong medicine? How embarrassing!
I hesitated for a moment, and asked Jiang Li, "You, do I need to go to the hospital?"
Jiang Li thought for a while and replied, "Shouldn't it be necessary?"
I immediately nodded and agreed: "Yes, yes, I think so too!"
Then Jiang Li continued: "Just spit it all out."
No need to go to the hospital, just spit it all out - what the hell idea!
I thought Jiang Li was gloating, so I ignored him and turned over and lay on the bed. Let's go to bed, no matter how many things there are, one night is enough to digest them.
Jiang Li hit my head with a pillow, not wanting me to sleep at all. He: "I don't want to carry you to the hospital early tomorrow morning."
I turned over with difficulty, and said impatiently: "I don't need you!"
Jiang Li, however, refused to let go: "The last time you fell asleep, didn't I carry you there? Heavier than a pig!"
Jiang Li's last sentence completely angered me. Who are you who is heavier than a pig? !
I quickly stood up from the bed, put the quilt on Jiang Li's head, and then kicked him twice. Before he could react, I jumped out of the bed and ran out without even putting on my slippers.
I ran to the bathroom and retched for a long time flushing the toilet, but unfortunately I still didn't develop the emotion to vomit. So I imitated what I said in the book, stretched out my index finger and fumbled in my mouth, but it didn't help, but I made myself into a mentally retarded person biting his finger and drooling...
I was busy with my work when someone patted me on the shoulder from behind. I was startled and almost choked on my saliva.
I withdrew my finger, wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth, still bent over, and said to Jiang Li: "You stay far away, this scene is very violent."
Jiang Li didn't stay away, but teased behind me: "Can you be any more stupid?"
I was about to refute and tell him that this has nothing to do with IQ, it's purely a matter of experience. At this time, Jiang Li put a hand on my neck... He, he, what does he want
Before I could speak, Jiang Li said again: "Open your mouth."
I do exactly that.
Jiang Li raised his other hand, stretched out two fingers and put them into my mouth.
I'm sweating, biting my own finger is shameful enough, but now I want to bite someone else's finger, how embarrassing it is for me...
Jiang Li didn't seem to get used to it either, he said impatiently: "Don't bite me, don't move your tongue, why are you nervous, I won't kill you..."
I obediently lowered my head and let him ravage me. While cooperating with him, I thought to myself, should he wash his hands first...
Jiang Li put his finger deep into my mouth, pressed lightly on the base of my tongue, and then quickly withdrew it. Before I realized what was going on, I couldn't help but vomited out.
Jiang Li patted my back lightly, and said to himself in disgust: "It's disgusting."
I slandered him in my heart: you are disgusting, you are more disgusting than poop...
Although vomiting is a painful thing, the stomach is indeed much more comfortable, and there is no need to worry about poisoning due to taking the wrong medicine. After I threw up, I flushed the toilet and washed myself at the sink. Jiang Li was also washing his hands by another sink.
After cleaning, I raised my head and wanted to say thank you to Jiang Li, but as soon as I saw Jiang Li's face, I discovered a very strange thing.
Inexplicably, Jiang Li's face turned red! ! !
His face was originally a kind of pearl color, but now it was covered with a layer of light powder, and he looked like he could be picked by you, wow, it's so explosive! If I was gay, I would just throw him down!
I swallowed my saliva, looked at Jiang Li with bright eyes, and said, "You you you you, why are you blushing?"
Jiang Li turned his face to the side, and said angrily: "I'm sorry, please look in the mirror and see how naughty you look now."
I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror, feeling ashamed and angry. At this time, the woman in the mirror shook the first button of her pajamas, and her chest was full of joy. Because of the vomiting just now, her cheeks are flushed, her eyes are full of tears, and her breathing is still short...
I hastily fastened the buttons and took a breath. In order to resolve the embarrassment, I pretended to be calm and joked with Jiang Li: "Are you attracted by a certain pure man's temperament hidden in me? I was always chased by people and I was a fake."
Jiang Li ignored me, turned and walked out of the bathroom expressionlessly.
I followed behind him, and said again: "Or, you are also interested in women?" Oh my god, wouldn't I be in danger like that
Jiang Li turned around suddenly, and said condescendingly, "I'm afraid that you will be obsessed with sex and invade me."
I:"… "
Are all men narcissists
…
These days I am busy with another thing: looking for a job.
Although Jiang Li and I are married, we are still living our own lives. Of course, I can't keep spending his money. Even if he doesn't mind, I will, after all, for me, living with a man is an extremely insecure life.
Finding a job is like finding a husband. It is a question of two-way choices from all angles. I went to several companies for interviews, but in the end either because I was dissatisfied or because other companies were dissatisfied, I never found a suitable one. So one day, I complained to Wang Kai on the Internet, why is it so difficult to find a job now...
At that time, Wang Kai replied to me very toughly: "Our company's deputy general manager just needs a secretary. If you don't mind, come here."
Me: "What does your company do? I don't do illegal things."
Wang Kai: "xxx advertising company, it's not your turn to do illegal things."
Me: "How is the character of your vice president?"
Wang Kai: "He has a good character, at least he won't attract your attention."
Me: "==! What is this..."
Wang Kai: "You used to be a secretary, right? Don't embarrass me."
Me: "I've been a secretary for three years, are you satisfied?" I'm telling the truth.
Wang Kai: "Who was your previous boss? Did he touch you?" Here it comes again!
Me: "No, she is a woman and does not have the hardware to touch me."
Wang Kai came over with a laughing expression.
I said again: "So, do I need to prepare anything in advance?"
Wang Kai: "I have the basic information of our company here, you just have to look at it, you don't need to prepare anything else." Then, pass me a file.
Me: "Thank you. Do I still have an interview?"
Wang Kai: "You can meet if you want, it doesn't matter."
Me: "..." What kind of logic is this
Me: "Of course I don't want to."
Wang Kai: "Then you come to work tomorrow. The information has our company's address and phone number. When you come, you are the new secretary hired by the deputy general manager at the front desk. That's fine."
Me: "Are you the human resources director of your company, you can make me the deputy general secretary with just one word?"
Wang Kai: "Are you starting to worship me now?"
I have."
Wang Kai came over with another laughing expression. Take it easy and you will!
Wang Kai: "It's okay, I'm very sleepy today, I fell asleep. 88"
Me: "Good night, 8"
Probably because I was dazzled by surprises, so I didn't think about why Mao Wangkai was usually very difficult, but today he went offline so hastily.