I'm thinking.
I was thinking, is there anything in this world that does not need to waste money, but is loved and favored by some picky perverts.
How about giving him a work of art? Perverts generally prefer art.
And if I want to buy a work of art that can still catch Jiang Li's eyes... Maybe I will go bankrupt...
So, let my senior artist personally make a work of art and give it to Jiang Li.
In fact, art is a very mysterious thing, and it's all about fooling around. It doesn't matter if something is ugly, as long as you can turn it into a flower, no matter how ugly something is, people will spend their money desperately.
Due to the urgency of time and the limitations of the types of art I have mastered, I finally decided to give Jiangli a dIy ceramic artwork. Anyway, no matter what it is made of, I have made it with my heart, which meets Jiangli's requirements.
So on December 24th, I took a day off and went to a small pottery shop with a box.
As soon as the box heard that Jiang Li's birthday is tomorrow, I just prepared a gift for him today, and immediately hit my head and scolded me for not being enlightened, and I was resentfully abused by her, thinking that you know something...
I think I am very artistic, and the shopkeeper praised me as much... because it is really rare to make an ordinary vase so crooked and full of holes. The box is the least seen in the world, and she turned out that my artwork is a typical example of appalling. I sigh again, you know what a hair...
Of course, having said that, although the artwork I made is very artistic, I have to admit that it is really ugly...
The box finally couldn't take it anymore, and she made a beautiful bowl by herself. Then she held the bowl and said, "Why don't we carve letters on it?"
I stared at my ugly vase, which was already ugly, wouldn't it be even more ugly if it was paired with my two childish fonts? So I smiled at the box and said, "Okay, you can carve it for me."
The box bumped me with an elbow, and said, "What are you doing, this is a birthday present you made for Jiang Li, of course you have to carve it yourself."
I looked at her with a bitter face and said nothing.
The box probably understood my pain, so he said: "Stupid you, don't you have to engrave Chinese characters? We can engrave French, Japanese, Manchu, and Mongolian, and we can just choose those that Jiang Li can't understand."
That's right, I'm so stupid. I looked at the box full of hope: "Then do you know French, Japanese, Manchu, and Mongolian?"
Box shook his head: "I'm only in charge of coming up with ideas."
I was discouraged again.
At this time, the box suddenly pointed to a big poster in front of the counter, and said to me: "Look, there are all weird characters on it, there must be something we want." He pulled me forward.
The box pointed to a spot on the poster, and said, "I know this one, happybirthday, happy birthday."
Nonsense, I know this too.
Box's hand moved down: "This one is in French."
Me: "What do I mean?"
Box shook his head: "I don't know, it doesn't mean 'Hello' anyway."
I really want to kick her upturned ass to vent my dissatisfaction.
Just as I was hesitating whether to attack Box's ass, a male voice came from beside us: "That also means 'Happy Birthday'."
I looked up at the same time as the box, and saw a bald uncle in his 40s standing next to the box, very close to her. His eyeballs rolled around, turning around without leaving the D-cup of the box.
Box stood up, took two steps back, and looked at him warily.
The hostile and contemptuous eyes of Box and I did not affect the uncle at all, he walked up to the poster obliviously, pointed to a row of round letters in French, and said: "This is German, and it also means 'Happy Birthday'. ’ and then, moving down, ‘Italian, 'Happy Birthday', Spanish, 'Happy Birthday'… ”
The box looked at him proudly, and interrupted him at the exit: "So, what about the last line?"
My eyes also moved to the bottom line of this typesetting, which is a very strange line of letters, anyway, I have never seen it before.
The bald uncle was a little embarrassed: "This seems to be Hebrew, as for what it means..."
Box smiled exaggeratedly, and said, "What do you mean, of course it means 'Happy Birthday', I have been learning Hebrew since I was six..."
The bald uncle looked at the box suspiciously, and finally left dejectedly amidst her laughter.
I hooked the box's shoulders, poked her tits, and said with a lewd smile: "Girl, when you were six years old, you couldn't even memorize 'Hoe Harvest Day at Noon'?"
The box glared at me: "Stop talking nonsense, hurry up and engrave the words, just engrave this Hebrew."
I took another look at the string of strange symbols, and said, "Does it mean happy birthday? If it's some kind of spell, Jiang Li will definitely chop me up."
The box knocked on the back of my head: "Can you enlighten me, this row of words all means 'Happy Birthday', just the last one becomes a spell?"
I thought it was right, so I started to engrave it. Anyway, even if it was a spell, Jiang Li couldn't understand it.
I engraved "Happy Birthday" in Hebrew all over the vase. This ancient symbol covers this abstract artwork with a layer of solemn mystery, perfectly combining modern art with traditional elements Together, it's nothing short of a masterpiece of genius.
Of course, the box has another approach to this masterpiece of mine: nondescript.
I hate boxes, deeply.
…
It was already evening when I returned home with my genius art in my arms. Today's Christmas Eve, along the way I saw Christmas trees lit up in many places, very beautiful. But I don't believe in God and the landlord, and I'm not very interested in Christmas, I just join in the fun.
As soon as I entered the house, I was overwhelmed by a huge artificial Christmas tree in the living room. The Christmas tree was covered with colored balls, colored lights, and exquisite gift boxes under the tree. I was so scared that I backed out of the door and looked at the door number again. Yes, it was my house.
I approached the Christmas tree lightly, circled it a few times, and then said, "Jiang Li, did you get this thing?"
Jiang Li came out from the study, leaned against the door frame to look at me, and said, "Yes."
I rubbed my chin and nodded: "I can't see that you are still very naive. I didn't play this game when I was six years old..."
Jiang Li looked at the Christmas tree with a blank expression: "Really, all their women like this," he said, and looked at me again, "You don't like it?" Then he gave me a deep look, which means, how dare you you don't like it? !
I shivered and nodded repeatedly: "I like it, how could I not like it, hehehehe..."
Jiang Li's eyes fell on the gift box in my arms, he walked up to me, raised the corners of his mouth, with a smile on his face, lowered his head and asked me: "What did you take?"
The flickering colorful lights on the Christmas tree shone on Jiang Li's face, which was blurry and weird, but also had a strange beauty that couldn't be seen. I couldn't help but sigh, Jiang Li was really more suitable for this kind of weird temperament .
I handed the box in my hand to Jiang Li, raised my head and said with a smile, "Jiang Li, happy birthday."
Jiang Li rubbed my head carelessly, then took the gift box with a smile, and quickly unwrapped it. Thus, the extremely ugly artwork was exposed in front of him. He held up the bottle and asked, "Where did you buy it? This shape is really... unique."
I smiled triumphantly and said, "I made this with my own hands. It is a limited edition and the only one in the world. How about it, am I very talented?"
Jiang Li gave me a rewarding smile, and then took the vase under the light to see the characters on it. I just wanted to show off my knowledge with him, but Jiang Li suddenly laughed in a low voice, the laughter was very pleasant, but I shivered. He turned around, held the vase in one hand, lifted my shoulder with the other, lowered his head and said with a smile: "Guan Yan, I love you too."
Jiang Li was so close to me that I could feel his breath on my neck. I panicked all of a sudden and pushed him away: "What are you doing!"
Jiang Li shook the vase in his hand and smiled like a big bad wolf: "Don't you love me? Don't pretend to be shy with me."
I was baffled by his narcissism: "It's just a vase, don't you?"
Jiang Li caressed the body of the vase, tapped the vase lightly with his fingertips from time to time, then raised his eyebrows and smiled, "Did you carve these characters yourself?"
Me: "Yeah, you don't know what these words mean, do you? Let me teach you..."
"Of course I know," Jiang Li curled up his mouth and smiled alluringly, "This is Hebrew, meaning 'I love you'. Is this your confession? It's subtle enough."
I sneered three times, and said triumphantly: "Forget it Jiang Li, this obviously means 'Happy Birthday', don't fool me." Jiang Li is not omnipotent, there are many fields that Jiang Li has not set foot in, this We can understand.
Jiang Li put away his smile: "You really don't know what this means?"
I continued to sneer: "Of course I know, this means 'Happy Birthday'. I can understand that you don't know this thing, after all, not everyone can be as knowledgeable as this girl..." I spit it out first.
"Official banquet," Jiang Li sat on the sofa holding a vase, "This is the Hebrew word for 'I love you'. You have confessed your love to me, and now I am considering whether to accept it or not."
I was angry, I took my laptop and said, "You don't know, I don't know, Baidu knows."
Jiang Li ignored me, stared at the vase for a while, and said, "I've thought about it, and for the sake of your sincerity, I've decided to accept you."
I picked up the pillow and threw it on his head, and opened the webpage while cursing: "Accept me, I don't want to be accepted by a pervert!"
Jiang Li sat on the sofa with the vase in his arms, he didn't say anything, and he didn't fight me back. I was a little surprised why he suddenly became so honest, but I didn't bother to talk to him, so I hurriedly opened the webpage and started searching.
I found it, I found it, I snatched Jiang Li's vase, watched the characters on it compare one by one, and then I was terrified.
Different, really different.
The characters on the vase are different from the Hebrew "Happy Birthday" characters found on the Internet.
I suspected it was because my engraved characters were too ugly, so I checked it again and finally confirmed that it was really different.
A hand reached out and took the ugly vase away. Jiang Li hugged the vase and said frightenedly, "Guan Yan, can you be any more stupid?"
I didn't accept it, so I searched out the characters of "I love you" in Hebrew, and compared them again, and the result can be imagined.
I leaned on the sofa, a little discouraged: "Jiang Li, give me back that bottle, I'll give you another nice one tomorrow."
Jiang Li: "It doesn't matter, I like things that are not attractive, such as this vase, and for example," he paused, raised his eyes to look at me, "You."
I was angry, and I rushed to him to snatch the vase. It's so kind, I can't afford to lose this kind of person.
Jiang Li stood up quickly, put the vase behind his back, and then looked down at me who was empty on the sand. He shook his head and sighed: "Guanyan, can you make a difference, you have given away all the things, and you have the nerve to go back?"
I lay motionless on the sand, wanting to scratch the wall in grief and anger.
But Jiang Li couldn't be bothered, he squatted down and patted my head, it felt like he was patting his golden retriever dog. Then he rested his chin on the sand and looked at me smugly. His face was so close to mine, I could see his long eyelashes shaking and shaking, I really wanted to pull them out one by one... My mother is a woman, and her eyelashes are not as long as his!
Jiang Li looked at me without blinking, and said, "Guanyan, I always feel that you did it on purpose. You actually want to confess to me, right?"
I rolled my eyes weakly, and said, "Please, even if I'm worthless, I won't confess my love to a homosexual, okay?"
Jiang Li: "So, what if I'm not gay?"
I stretched out a hand and patted Jiang Li's shoulder to comfort him: "Good boy, there is no if in this kind of thing, it is."
Jiang Li: "What if I'm bisexual?"
Me: "That's even more perverted... Me, you're not really bisexual, are you?"
Jiang Li stood up, feeling very condescending. He lowered his eyes to look at me, and said with disdain: "How is it possible, I don't like a woman like you."
I think Jiang Li's words are very strange, but I don't know what is so strange. So I could only sneer three times, and replied: "Don't worry, I don't like a man like you either."