The smoke had burned to the end, and with a light shake, the long ash collapsed and stained the back of the hand, causing sharp pain.
"You should listen to her."
A shadow was cast from above, I raised my head, and Sheng Minou was already standing in front of me.
He blocked the only light source, his face was immersed in the shadow, and the light from his eyes leaked out from under his eyelids, which was cold and heavy.
I laughed "ha": "Yes, I should listen to her."
Without warning, I jumped up and rushed towards him, like a wild beast showing its sharp claws, and slammed my fist at him.
The fist hit the cheek accurately, and Sheng Minou's face turned to one side. I panted and punched again, this time he intercepted my fist and landed a clean punch on my stomach.
In an instant, my internal organs seemed to be crushed. I endured the severe pain and did not give up the attack.
The two wrestled together, grabbed each other's clothes, and rolled on the dirty ground, completely disregarding their decency.
The rising body temperature made me dizzy, and the little strength I had finally gathered was quickly lost.
Sheng Minou saw the right opportunity and pushed me to the ground.
He clasped my shoulders and pressed his whole body against me: "Are you crazy enough?" The always flat suit was wrinkled, the corners of his lips were stained with blood, his bangs were hanging down to cover his eyelashes, he was embarrassed and annoyed, " I have warned you not to approach me long ago, who do you blame for being mean? Lu Feng, the world doesn't have to revolve around you. If you like it, you have to have it. It's a child's delusion. How old are you and you are still dreaming?"
In his opinion, I was just going crazy and being a bitch.
Lying on the cold ground, I suddenly felt very tired, my body was tired, and my heart was even more tired.
Over the past ten years, I thought I could last longer, but the avalanche came so unexpectedly that I couldn't hold on any longer.
"Sheng Minou, let me ask you a question." I opened my mouth quietly, looking into his eyes, not missing any emotion in his eyes, "Ten years ago, did you deliberately design... to ask me to find Qi Yang?"
I used to avoid thinking about this question and avoid asking it, but today, I desperately want to know the answer. Perhaps subconsciously, I know it myself, and knowing the answer, I can completely give up.
After hearing my words, Sheng Minou seemed to have not reacted at first, and frowned slightly.
Seeing that he didn't answer, I gritted my teeth and asked again: "Did you do it on purpose?"
He stared at me for a long time, straightened up and let go of my shoulders.
"Did I do it on purpose?" He repeated my words in a slow tone, and suddenly leaned over and grabbed my neck forcefully in the next second, his handsome face was gloomy and terrifying, "Yes, I did it on purpose."
The palm of my hand choked the throat, oppressed the trachea, and blocked the flow of air. I grabbed the hand that looked like iron clamps, but I couldn't shake it a bit.
He pinched me, put his lips next to my ears, and said softly: "I did everything on purpose. You were going to die, but it's a pity that Qi Yang is useless, and I only let you sit in prison for ten years."
My whole body was trembling uncontrollably, because of lack of oxygen, but also because of his words.
Maybe it's better to die like this...
Negative thoughts suddenly appeared in my mind, and I gradually stopped struggling, allowing my consciousness to be swept by the darkness little by little.
"Why, do you want to die?" Sheng Minou said with a contemptuous smile, and relaxed my strength, "Be far away from death, don't dirty my place."
The air rushed into my lungs in an instant, I coughed, and instinctively took a big mouthful of breath, coughing tears from the corners of my eyes.
Sheng Minou stood up as if nothing had happened, straightened the crooked skirt, patted off the dust on his body, and then copied the scattered bangs, trying to make himself look as good as possible.
I clutched my throat and wanted to get up, but because I had no strength, I could only lie on my side on the ground and coughed heart-piercingly.
Amidst the coughing sound, the footsteps of leather shoes on the floor tiles were steadily heading towards the safety door.
"Lu Feng, you are not only cheap, but also useless."
The safety door opened and closed, breathing gradually calmed down, and the surroundings returned to silence.
I stared at the cracks in front of the bricks, slowly lowered my head, and rested my hot forehead on it.
"Lu Feng, you're so cheap..." With a hoarse voice, I lay prone on the ground, my fists hitting the ground with nowhere to vent. Only through such a self-abuse method can I calm myself down and not lose my mind.
I don't know how long it took, maybe ten minutes, maybe half an hour. I staggered up from the ground, the knuckles on the back of my hand were bruised and purple, but I was trembling slightly while hanging by my side.
I didn't take the elevator, but walked down the stairs step by step through the safe passage like a walking dead, and then stopped a taxi on the side of the road to go home.
As soon as I entered the house, I didn't even have time to take off my clothes, so I fell on the bed.
Nowhere is painless, nowhere is not cold, if he just dies on this bed, in this home, it will be considered a good ending.
My eyelids were heavy and I couldn't concentrate. I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the darkness.
This sleep was extremely restless. For a while, I saw my father's tragic death, and for a while, I dreamed of the cat on Sheng Minou's bed.
The two memories overlapped, making the dream world full of cruel blood.
My dad got into a car accident on the way home from get off work. At that time, my mother waited for him for a long time and was ready to go out to look for him. She was wearing a coat when the hospital called. A pickup truck didn’t see my dad. Rolled over him.
When my mother panicked and took us to the hospital, the doctor bluntly said that my father was dying and asked us to see him for the last time.
The emergency room is a terrifying scene that I will never forget in my life. My dad was lying on a stretcher with all kinds of tubes inserted into his body, and a white sheet covered him from the neck down.
Below his entire abdomen, like a broken water pipe, blood slowly seeped out from under the bed sheet, spread outward, and dripped continuously to the ground, and soon a pool of red liquid accumulated under the stretcher bed.
Seeing such a tragic situation, my mother finally couldn't help it, and cried out my father's name, begging him not to abandon us, and begging him to support us.
My dad is more sober than my mom, he knows what is going on with him, he didn't talk nonsense, and he used the last bit of energy to explain his last words one by one, without wasting any effort.
He first asked my mother to raise us well, and asked us to go to college, especially Sheng Minou, who must let him go to high school and take the college entrance examination. My mother agreed, and he looked at me, asking me to listen to my mother and stop being naughty.
It was the first time I faced death, and I was still a little unclear about the situation. I was afraid and uncomfortable, but I just kept imitating my mother, begging him not to die, and not to leave us.
However, this is not something he can do if he wants to. He glanced at the faces of me and my mother with nostalgia, and his eyes finally fell on Sheng Minou.
Sheng Minou lowered his eyes, staring at the bright red pool under his feet, and stood aside like a non-existent wood carving from the beginning to the end, neither panic nor tears.
He seemed to perceive my dad's gaze, looked up, and called softly: "Dad."
He was wearing a school white shirt, standing next to my dad, one was dying, the other was just young, just like the most real and cruel drama conflict arranged by God.
"Don't be afraid..." My dad's voice has become smaller and smaller, and his face is visibly grayed, but he still tries to smile at Sheng Minou, "Dad believes in you, and will eventually become a... very... very good person... "
In order to hear what he said next, Sheng Minou had no choice but to step into the puddle of blood, leaning over to his lips.
I could see my dad's mouth moving, but I couldn't hear any of his voice.
After a while, Sheng Minou straightened up, looked at him blankly, and finally nodded: "Okay."
To this day, I still don't know what that "yes" means. It's just that after my dad heard his promise, he closed his eyes with a smile. After a while, the machine beeped harshly, and the undulating lines on the monitor tended to be straight.
My mother let out a sharp howl, pushed Sheng Minou away, and threw herself on my father.
I stood there helplessly, and the doctors and nurses came and pushed me out of the crowd.
Her ears were filled with crying, and her eyes were white and red.
I swallowed my saliva and looked around, only to realize that Sheng Minou was nowhere to be seen. Only a series of blood-stained footprints were left on the ground, extending to the outside of the door.
I followed the footprints to find him, sitting against the wall by the door.
He buried his face in the crook of his arms, clasped his arms with his hands, and dug his arms with his nails, leaving crimson marks in the shape of half moons.
I squatted beside him and touched his body uneasily: "...Brother?"
He was shocked, and raised his head from the crook of his arms, his eyes were red, but there were no tears.
"Dad is dead..." I buried my face in his shoulder, sobbing, "We will never have a dad again."
He let me cry, and he replied after a while: "I know."
From my dad's accident to the funeral, Sheng Min'ou didn't shed a tear from the beginning to the end. I once overheard my mother and her friends complaining that Sheng Min'ou was just a white-eyed wolf. No pain.
At first I didn't agree with her statement, I just thought that Sheng Minou must have been hiding and crying secretly, not really that cold-blooded.
Later... I understand that tears are something he doesn't have at all. If he doesn't have them, how do you let him show them
It is also my life that should not die. I lay on the bed for two days and two nights, and my fever subsided without eating or drinking. It's just that I can't stop sweating, and my feet are weak after walking two steps.
I wanted to order a takeaway for myself, but I found out that the porridge shops were closed early. I belatedly remembered that today is New Year's Eve.
He dug out the only can of rice left from the rice tank, cooked a pot of porridge for himself, it was better than having nothing to deal with a meal, and after eating, he wanted to lie in bed again.
Suddenly there was the sound of "Bengpeng" slamming on the door, each time was urgent and heavy, as if he was coming to collect debts.
I walked to the door with vain steps, looked out from the cat's eye, and saw Wei Shi and Shen Xiaoshi standing outside the door, one on the left and one on the right.
Seeing that I didn't respond for a long time, Wei Shi raised his chin to Shen Xiaoshi, motioning him to continue knocking on the door.
I quickly unlocked the door before it was smashed by the two grandchildren.
"What's up?"
Seeing that I finally opened the door, Wei Shi and Shen Xiaoshi couldn't help being overjoyed, and squeezed into the room from both sides of me.
"You turned off the phone when I called you, thinking something happened to you." Wei Shi put the bag in his hand on the table, saw the pot of porridge that was clear to the bottom, and frowned, "You just eat these Come, come, come, the third brother bought you delicious food, shrimp dumpling, siu mai and big wonton, come and eat some."
Shen Xiaoshi also put the plastic bag in his hand on the table, and at a glance, he could see a lot of vegetables, meatballs and other ingredients.
"Brother Feng, let's have hot pot tonight!" He hummed a little tune and took out the things from the bag one by one.
I don't really have much appetite, but I still sat down and ate a shrimp dumpling: "Today's New Year's Eve, don't you go home?"
Wei Shi waved his hand: "My parents are annoyed when they see me, and I don't bother to go back. I will spend this year with you."
Shen Xiaoshi also said: "Yes, I will spend this year with you."
I know it's not that they don't have a place to celebrate the New Year, but they just can't worry about me, so they insist on spending New Year's Eve with me.
In this way, my life is not too much of a failure.
Swallowing the food in my mouth, I nodded and said: "Okay, then you guys prepare the hot pot, and I will go to sleep for a while."
He staggered into the bedroom, and fell asleep this time without having any messy nightmares.
When I woke up, the room was filled with the smell of food, and the TV that hadn't been turned on for a long time was showing the Spring Festival Gala. Wei Shi and Shen Xiaoshi moved the table to the living room, put the soup on it, and it was ready.
The doorbell rang, Shen Xiaoshi ran to open the door, and Yi Dazhuang appeared outside the door with two bags of beer.
In this world of smoke and fire, the negative thoughts that once flashed like a joke.
Dead fart, isn't it just what Sheng Minou wanted to die like this? To be alive is enough to be a wimp, but to die is it necessary to die a wimp
No, absolutely not.
Even if my teeth are gone, my body is decayed, and I can no longer walk, I will definitely live longer than Sheng Minou.
During the meal, Wei Shi saw the injury on my hand and asked me what happened.
"I accidentally dropped it." I put that hand under the table.
He looked at me for a while with suspicion in his eyes, but didn't ask any more questions.
I don't know who lit a string of firecrackers outside the window, and the crackling was so lively.
The sound of hot pot, firecrackers, TV, and human voices. In the noise mixed together, I raised my drink glass and saluted the three people on the table.
I wish them a happy new year and thank them for their perseverance.