How should the crush know his own thoughts? If it is a young couple, maybe they can confess boldly, no matter whether they succeed or fail afterwards, at least they will live up to their love.
But what about two men? And what if it's a pair of unrelated brothers
When he was sixteen, Sheng Minou realized my feelings for him and unilaterally broke off contact with me.
His avoidance made me very frustrated and very unwilling. Since he doesn't see me and doesn't answer my calls, I'll go to him face to face.
I lied to my mom that I was sick and asked her to take a day off from school. She knew that my studies were heavy and I was under a lot of pressure. It happened that my grades were not bad that time. Although she couldn't see anything wrong with me, she still asked me for leave.
As soon as my mother left, I went to Sheng Minou's school, and I was excited about the upcoming meeting along the way.
But when I inquired about his classroom and ran to find him, the reality was not as good as I imagined.
Through the huge glass window, I saw Sheng Minou sitting in the back of the classroom at a glance, and Qi Yang was sitting beside him. The two were very close, as if they were whispering something intimately.
I stood in the corridor in a daze, feeling absurd and at a loss, and more of a little bit of jealousy in my heart.
Jealousy is like a black flame, almost burning my sanity.
During this period, Sheng Minou seemed to have sensed something, and glanced at me, I met his gaze nervously, feeling both joy and sourness in my heart. But he just glanced at it casually, and then quickly looked away, as if he didn't see me at all, or he only saw me as if I didn't exist.
He stared at Qi Yang so intently, talked to him, and smiled at him. While Qi Yang was talking, he suddenly held Sheng Minou's hand excitedly. Sheng Minou just glanced at him, but he didn't show any resistance.
I gritted my teeth and stared fiercely at their handshake. My mind was like a volcano erupting, and I was swept away by violent and burning emotions.
He doesn't want to see me, but he is willing to accept Qi Yang's approach, he doesn't want me anymore, he was snatched away...
Is it true that as Qi Yang said, things of a kind gather and people are divided into groups, and Sheng Minou only wants to be with the same kind
There was a deliberately low voice of conversation behind him: "Isn't that Sheng Minou and Qi Yang?"
I looked back and saw two boys leaning against the railing behind them smoking a cigarette. I might have seen Sheng Minou and the others through the window, and they started chatting gossipingly.
"Before I moved outside to hide from Qi Yang, I heard that I was clinging to him all the time, and I would be killed by looking at him..." Another boy shook his head with disgust on his face, "There is something wrong, It's really bad luck to be liked by him."
"But don't you see that Sheng Minou was talking and laughing with him? Maybe Jin Cheng's visits to gold and stones will finally impress the heart of the college bully?"
"I don't understand. I don't discriminate against this kind of person, either, but I think Qi Yang is abnormal and very sinister. If I want to be entangled with him, I really dare not refuse casually. I feel that he can die with me in a few minutes. "
"Really, really!" His point of view was immediately affirmed by the other person, "Qi Yang's eyes are exactly the same as those who would kill your whole family if they courteously, sometimes I dare not talk to Sheng Minou because I'm afraid of being crazy Think about it, if you get stabbed in the back, it won't be worth it."
Limbs are cold, and there is a tight breath in the chest, which is difficult to relieve. Standing outside the classroom, I called Sheng Minou. It's just that through a window and a wall, I saw him take out the phone and look at it indifferently, then press a button, turn the phone over and throw it aside. At the same time, a voice prompting that the dialed number has been turned off came from my mobile phone.
Seeing his movements, Qi Yang seemed a little curious about who was calling.
Sheng Min'ou tilted his head and said something to him, Qi Yang glanced at the mobile phone on the table, suddenly approached Sheng Min'ou, and whispered something in his ear.
Sheng Minou didn't move, let him approach, because of his posture, I couldn't see Sheng Minou's expression clearly, but since he could tolerate Qi Yang being so close to him, it was enough to show that he didn't hate it.
If he hates a person, he will not give the other person any chance, cut off all contact, put his attitude on the bright side, and never procrastinate... just like me.
He doesn't hate Qi Yang, but he hates me.
I didn't stay in Sheng Minou's school for too long, and when I returned home in a daze, I fell into the bed, and for some reason, I actually fell ill afterwards.
When my mother came home, she said that my whole body was burnt out, crying and saying that I was in pain. After waking up, I have no memory at all, and I don’t rule out the possibility of her exaggeration, but I lay at home for two full days with that illness, and lost a lot of weight.
When I went to class again, the teacher saw me and told me to rest for two more days if I was not fully recovered, don't force it. Looking in the mirror during that time, I dare not imagine that a person can become so inhuman and ghost in such a short period of time.
My emotions showed a bad tendency, bored, irritable, depressed, and unable to fall asleep due to high spirits, but my body was exhausted because I didn't get enough rest. I looked it up on the Internet, and it said that I have a tendency to be manic-depressive. At the same time, there was a suicide prevention hotline that popped up. I stared at the string of numbers for a long time, but finally didn't write it down.
Suicide is not enough, I have the bottom line.
My mother thought that it was study that made me so thin, but she never thought that it was lovelorn that caused me to become thinner day by day.
Breaking up in love makes people feel so painful that others lose love, at most they lose a partner, but I lose not only a partner, but also a brother.
Adolescent children are easily rebellious. Others are rebellious and don't study and go to Internet cafes.
During the day, I am a good student in the eyes of my teachers and classmates, and a good son in the eyes of my mother. I study hard, make progress every day, and am so cheerful that there seems to be no haze.
At night, I called Sheng Minou over and over again, but I was always greeted by a cold mechanical female voice. I know he won't answer my phone, but it's like a habit, a fixed ritual, and I always feel that something is missing if I don't call.
Lack of sleep makes people in a bad mood, my temper is getting worse and worse, one time I accidentally bumped into a senior student at school, I said "I'm sorry" and wanted to leave, but the other party couldn't understand my attitude of dragging me , He insisted on teaching me how to be a "qualified" junior.
I didn't talk nonsense to him, I punched him down and got a warning.
Good students are given preferential treatment at this time. No one thinks that I should be responsible, and they give me all kinds of excuses such as "study pressure", "the shot is for self-protection", "the other party often bullies the elementary school students" and so on. Reason, comfort me don't take it to heart.
However, in the face of my mild warning and punishment, the senior who took a punch from me was unwilling and took it very seriously. After school a few days later, the other party found a few gangsters outside the school to teach me a lesson and blocked me in the alley.
Two fists are no match for four hands, not to mention seventy, eighty or ninety hands. I was beaten until I was lying in the muddy alley, unable to get up. Those people had beaten enough and left cursing.
I rested for a while and got up by myself. Instead of going to the hospital or going home, I staggered to Sheng Mingou's rented house with amazing energy.
Thinking about it afterwards, I wondered if I was sick.
I waited at the door of his house, sat on the door drowsily, waited until night, and waited for him to return.
Why did I go to him? I didn't think about it at that time, but after thinking about it for a long time, the feeling has long since dissipated, and I can't get a clue.
But in fact, it is not difficult to guess, with the mentality of a little kid, let important people see his miserable state, is it to be a hero? Of course not, such grievances, such embarrassments, such long distances, but I just want to see the other party feel sorry for me.
Even from childhood to adulthood, Sheng Minou never showed any emotion towards me in this regard.
The footsteps sounded from far to near, until a pair of shoes stopped in front of me, and I slowly raised my head.
Sheng Minou looked down at me, without any surprise in his eyes, and of course there was no distress that I had secretly expected.
I grinned at him, but because of the wound that touched the corner of my mouth, I frowned painfully.
"Brother, I was beaten, it hurts so much..."
I went to pull his trouser legs, but he was unmoved and just said softly: "Get out of the way."
We hadn't seen each other for two months, and this was the first thing he said after seeing me.
After sitting for too long, I staggered a little when I stood up, and I managed to stand firm while holding on to the door.
"Brother, I apologize no matter how I made you angry, don't do this." I pursed my lips and almost begged, "Don't ignore me."
Sheng Minou looked at me for a while and said, "You didn't make me angry, I just don't want to see you. Go home and don't come here again."
I didn't expect him to be so straightforward, so straightforward that I didn't react for a moment, and he didn't even give me a chance to pretend nothing happened.
To cover it up, he doesn't need the paper wrapped in fire, what he wants is to throw all the "out of control" out of his world together with this troublesome and annoying fire.
Seeing that I was not moving, he simply pulled me aside, and then took out the key to unlock the lock, as if I was just a piece of rubbish that floated from nowhere and blocked the way, just kick it away casually, and don't need to worry about it at all.
No matter what I do, he has already made up his mind not to want me, so why should I pretend to be my brother
"I like you." When I saw him unlocking the lock, I felt a sense of joy for no reason, "It's not like my brother likes my brother."
He stood completely still facing the door for two seconds, closed his eyes, and said under pressure: "Enough, go back, don't come again."
Normally, if he told me to get out, I would get out, but that day I was like crazy, challenging the limit of his endurance fearlessly.
"Do you think these obscenities are simply dirtying your ears? My brother is in love with my brother, it's disgusting."
He held the doorknob, finally gave up the old rusty lock that was too difficult to open, and turned to me, showing a cold and sarcastic smile.
"Since you know it, you shouldn't say it."
He sure enough thought I was dirty and disgusting. A sharp stabbing pain suddenly rose in my heart, and I froze there, thinking to myself, maybe something went wrong in the fight, they broke my heart.
I always thought that "distressed" was just an adjective, but one day, it actually produced a tearing pain without any external force.
I paused for a while, and said with difficulty: "Yes, I should keep this secret for the rest of my life, at least I can still be your brother. Now you don't want to see me anymore, right?"
"I thought my attitude was obvious." Sheng Minou acted as if as long as I could leave, he wouldn't suggest anything worse.
I said, "Then why can you accept Qi Yang appearing by your side? Because you like him more, or because...he can satisfy your perverted desire?"
He squinted his eyes and asked me after a while, "What did you say?"
The voice is lower and more dangerous.
I'm teasing a beast's beard, I know I'm dying, but I can't stop.
"What Qi Yang can do, so can I. If monsters can only fall in love with monsters, then I will be a monster." I said calmly, revealing the utility knife that I had been carrying behind my back.
He looked at me and didn't stop.
"Monster..." he murmured, "so what are you going to do? Kill me?"
I shook my head: "No, I want to be that cat." The cat that he loved and loved even after death. Sheng Minou was stunned for a moment, after I slashed his arm, he quickly understood what I meant, his eyes widened slightly, and the pupils shrank.
Blood gushed out of the wound in an instant and dripped onto the dirty ground. Looking at the little plum blossom-like blood stains on the ground, the long-term depression and irritability in my heart can be talked about in an instant. I finally know why so many people suffer from depression and self-harm. Although the symptoms are not cured, the pain can indeed be passed on.
Sheng Minou looked at the blood on the ground, and said in a very low voice: "Lu Feng, you idiot."
Before I could react, he rushed up and punched me, smashing my face to one side, and the utility knife fell from his hand because of the sudden attack. His fists and feet hit me mercilessly, he was like an enraged beast, losing his mind.
I fell to the ground and he put his knees on my back, grabbed my hair and smashed me to the ground.
"Brother... don't hit me anymore..." I begged for mercy, fear lingered in my body and mind, and made me admit my weakness, "If you hit me again, I'm going to die..."
I thought I could take it, but it was just a child's naive idea.
"Don't you just want to die?" He picked up my head, panted, and said with extreme hatred, "You want to be a 'monster'? It's up to you? Are you worthy?"
"I was wrong..." I hugged my head, my whole body was dizzy, "...I don't dare anymore."
Sheng Minou beat me to death. If I was only injured in the elementary level before, then his punches and kicks have basically crippled me.
After beating me, he exhaled a long breath, stood up, and seemed to relax a lot.
"Go back, I don't need another cat."
There was a rustle of paper rubbing against each other, and after a while, he stuffed a hundred dollars into my jacket and told me to take a taxi to the hospital by myself.
After the little stars all over my head subsided, I got up from the ground and didn't go to the hospital. I bought some gauze from a nearby pharmacy, and after the bleeding was basically stopped, I took a taxi and went home completely injured.
When I got home, my mother happened to be coming back from a late shift, which nearly gave her a heart attack. She checked my injury tremblingly and asked me why. I blamed all the blame on the senior seniors who had a grudge against me, saying that they were all beaten by gangsters.
My mother came to school aggressively the next day, and she insisted on an explanation from the teacher. Not long after, the senior was dismissed, and I haven't seen her since.