It was a crazy and hopeless gamble. I thought self-righteously that I could get Sheng Minou's approval and his love by relying on the little details I discovered.
So naive, too naive. Don't blame Qi Yang for saying that I'm a kid who hasn't grown up, and don't blame... Sheng Minou for being so angry.
I regret it, more than once.
Desire is a spring, a small amount can promote blood circulation and remove blood stasis, and strengthen the body, but if it is too much, it will be a disaster, and it can pull people into the abyss of eternal doom.
Everyone thinks that the valve of desire is in their own hands, and they can close it when they want to, and open it when they want to. Until the last moment, they will always feel that they can sit back and relax and have no self-awareness that danger is approaching.
Sheng Minou said that Mr. Liu, who was once so talented and painted amazing paintings, listened to the desire in his heart, indulged himself, and indulged in the illusion and happiness brought by alcohol. Why am I not? My desire for Sheng Minou made me lose myself, lost my basic judgment on things, and made an irreparable mistake.
Those who once wanted to protect him and take good care of him have become hypocritical empty words. I also said that I am different from Qi Yang, different shit, in the end, I am not as good as him. At least he is perverted to be frank, unlike me, who only speaks beautiful words.
Being beaten up by Sheng Mingou seemed to have cleared my mind. The madness and chaos were calmed down under the suppression of absolute violence. I began to reflect and realized how ridiculous I was.
For the rest of that semester, I was trying to contact Sheng Minou. I didn't dare to meet him in person, and I didn't have the face to meet him in person, so I had to call and text him. One phone call every day is fixed, and then there are long text messages, some trivial daily routines, some concern for him, some sincere confessions, and sometimes some positive energy chicken soup for the soul.
He never answered my phone calls, and of course he didn't reply to any of my messages. Two months passed like this, the semester was over and summer vacation was over.
It was an ordinary summer night, I called Sheng Minou as always, but what was waiting for me was no longer a cold mechanical female voice.
No one spoke, and there was only light breathing in my ears. I sat up excitedly from the bed.
"Brother..." My voice was trembling.
Sheng Minou seemed to have forgotten our unhappiness last time, and asked me to meet him the next day, in the abandoned unfinished building we used to go to when we were young.
Although the location was a bit strange, I never questioned his words. He asked me to go, and I went according to the agreed time.
It's not far from my home, so I went earlier than the appointed time. But I didn't see Sheng Min'ou there, instead I met Qi Yang who had been waiting for a long time...
As soon as my knees hurt, I leaned on the toilet and knelt on the ground. When I turned around, I saw Sheng Minou take back the antler stick in his hand.
With his back against the door, he lifted my chin with the tip of his stick in disgust.
"Don't be hypocritical, and don't pretend to be thinking about me. You can't take care of me. I know better than you how to survive in this world." The tip of the stick slowly moved down, across the collarbone, and tapped on The position of the heart, "What do you think you can do for me? You can't even drive a car, and you want to be my guiding light? You can't protect anyone, Lu Feng."
I didn't move, and watched him quietly: "You're right, I'm really hypocritical." He raised his brows slightly, and I smiled, "It's really cool to know how you feel."
Sheng Minou's expression became a little horrified, and the force with which he pressed his cane on his chest became a little stronger.
"you… "
Before he could yell at me, I grabbed the cane and yanked it towards myself. He didn't check for a while to let me succeed, he lost his balance and leaned forward. I grabbed his skirt with one hand, pressed the back of his head with the other, and bit his lip regardless.
We are like two angry beasts, biting each other, resisting and struggling.
The tip of the nose smelled of foul smell, and the urine stained Sheng Minou's snow-white skirt, and he didn't feel it was dirty, but on the contrary, he aroused the pleasure of blaspheming the gods. I inserted my fingers into the root of my hair, and it was hot and humid, and I didn't know if it was sweat or water.
That can't be called a "kiss" at all, there is no tenderness in it. In the beginning, I attacked Sheng Minou unilaterally, biting his lips, tearing his skin and bleeding. Sheng Minou resisted fiercely, but it was difficult for me to get rid of the brown sugar-like me in a small space.
Whoever asked him to lock the door deserved it.
Later, Sheng Mingou was obviously irritated by me, and started to fight back, giving me more pain and wounds, almost biting off my tongue.
In the end, I don't know whether it should be called the end of a kiss or the end of a weapon fight. We were both out of breath when we stopped. The corner of his lips was bitten off by me, stained a little red, his face turned blue and then black and then green again, like a big girl who was molested by hooligans.
My mouth probably didn't get any better. I wanted to touch the wound, but I raised my hand, but suddenly remembered that it was a pair of hands soaked in urine, and put it down again.
"Come on, you can scold whatever you want." I got up shamelessly and sat down on the toilet, already like a dead pig who is not afraid of boiling water.
Sheng Min'ou picked up the cane that fell in the confusion just now, stood up with support, and before he had time to scold me, someone came in outside the door, and more than one person came in.
Sheng Minou froze for a moment, and relaxed his movements. I looked at him with interest, and suddenly wondered...whether he would make a sound. Would he let others know that he was having an affair with his younger brother in the cubicle of the company toilet
I put my palm on his leg and climbed all the way. Sheng Minou stared at me with cold and terrifying eyes, but he didn't stop. I know this is still within the range of his tolerance.
"The tea restaurant downstairs is good, their new pineapple buns are on time..."
"Milk tea is also good, but it's easy to fall asleep after drinking it."
The two people who walked into the bathroom started chatting, but they didn't seem to notice the existence of Sheng Minou and me.
I began to push my boundaries, furthering my harassment.
He grabbed my hand, still without making a sound.
This is his country, and he is the king here. How could he let his subjects discover his passive side
I knew he wouldn't make a sound, and he must endure it, so I became even more unscrupulous.
"The sausage is also delicious, thick and long..." Halfway through the speech, the man seemed to realize that there was some ambiguity in his words, and he paused awkwardly for a moment before continuing, "Anyway, it's delicious."
The other person didn't hear anything wrong, and was still echoing: "Yes, it's too hot, and there is a cheese heart in it. Last time I took a bite and almost burned my tongue off."
"That's right, there's also their peeing cow balls, they really can pee, ****, it's very enjoyable..."
Can we stop discussing sausages and beef balls in the toilet so heatedly? Made me hungry.
Accidentally exerting force, there was a muffled groan of pain from the top of my head, and then someone grabbed my hair, Sheng Minou wanted to tear me away.
The two people outside continued to discuss the delicacy of the tea restaurant, washed their hands and left the men's room slowly.
It is easy to close the valve to prevent water from leaking, but it is not so easy to plug the cracked water pipe.
Desire is like this.
The men's restroom restored the two-person world between me and Sheng Minou, but the silence continued.
If you listen carefully, there is not only silence, but also some small, reverie-inducing syllables leaking out from time to time.
In the end, no one cares whether they will be heard or not, and whether anyone will come in.
Sheng Min'ou let go of me, leaned against the door panel, panted and plucked his hair.
I turned around and spit out the blood-water mixture in my mouth, and pressed the pump button, during which I heard the sound of the lock being unlocked behind me.
After waiting for a while, I turned around and found that Sheng Minou had already walked out.
I took out a roll of paper to wipe my hands, tidied up my clothes, and then left the cubicle.
Sheng Minou stared at the mirror, his messy skirt, the red and swollen corners of his lips, his face was ugly.
I occupied another sink to wash my hands. Seeing him like this, I apologized casually: "Sorry, my mouth is a bit heavy."
My mouth was heavy, but he didn't go too lightly. Sticking out my tongue, I checked the circle and found that it was bitten.
Fortunately, I hid quickly, otherwise my tongue would be cut off and I would die.
I took out a paper towel to dry my hands, ignored him or looked at him when I was done, turned around and went out the door.
After that, I didn't bother to go to the office anymore, thinking that I would just go to the second court hearing and go to the pawnshop to go to work the next day.
As soon as I entered the door, I saw Wei Shi sitting in my seat, Liu Yue eating melon seeds and watching dramas as usual, but Shen Xiaoshi was nowhere to be seen.
"Why is it you?" I took off my coat and threw it on the sofa beside me, leaning on the counter and asked, "Where's my little brother Xiaoshi?"
Wei Shi raised his head from the phone and said in surprise, "Why are you back? Is your brother all right?"
"Don't you know he's Superman? It'll be all right the next day."
Wei Shi rolled his eyes, packed up his things and stood up to return the seat to me.
"I'm also here to take over the shift today. Xiaoshi's family has something to ask for leave."
When I heard this, I was taken aback. I have known Shen Xiaoshi for so long, but I have never heard him mention anything about my family. It seems that he just jumped out of the cracks in the rocks. He has no father, no mother and no relatives. He knows how to fight before he can speak.
"I heard it, it was a woman who called him!" Liu Yue raised her hand.
Wei Shi and I looked at each other: "It's amazing, Xiaoshi has grown up!"
"My family has a young boy, it's not easy. Call Da Zhuang tonight and go to your house to eat red bean rice." Wei Shi opened the iron gate, walked to me, and patted me on the shoulder earnestly. "You're the only one left in our family, hurry up."
Eat salty radishes and lighten your worries, it’s already gone, okay
Just as I was about to provoke him, Liu Yue dropped the sunflower seeds, covered her ears and said, "What do you say is not suitable for children, I am still young, I don't want to listen!"
Only then did we remember that there was an older girl beside us, we looked at each other, and we both paused.
However, Wei Shi contacted Shen Xiaoshi that night, but he couldn't get in touch. When he called him, the phone was turned off, and the red bean rice could only be ruined.
Then the next day, and the third day, no one could contact Shen Xiaoshi, it was as if he had evaporated from the world.