The smell of orange-scented laundry detergent.
It is obviously the embrace that I feel most attached to and the one that gives me the most sense of security.
Yunli's nose felt sour, and her vision gradually blurred.
She didn't understand why Yun Yongchang was so domineering and arrogant. He looked down upon Fu Shize in person and didn't even show basic respect.
She also didn't understand why Fu Shize bluntly said that he had dropped out of school, and he could just muddle through.
He said this as if he didn't care about Yun Yongchang's opinion at all.
As if he didn't care about his objections.
Fu Shize's voice was hoarse: "Lili..."
"My dad has a bad temper and is quite feudal. He always wanted me to stay in Xifu." Yun Li had no intention of defending Yun Yongchang and sniffed: "My dad shouldn't be like this. He doesn't understand you. Too It’s rude.”
She hesitated and said, "You don't have to say anything about dropping out of school..." Not wanting him to think she was blaming him, Yunli pretended to be relaxed and said, "Because many people don't know you, I think you are very powerful."
Fu Shize looked at her and nodded.
"I saw a video of you when I was a freshman in high school. You won an award when you participated in a competition. After the college entrance examination, I went to Western University of Science and Technology to find you." Yunli was not embarrassed to mention his own embarrassing incident, "But I didn’t see you.”
He is obviously the most prosperous young man.
It supported her through the most difficult time in high school, and it was also the future she dreamed of.
"Wait a minute." Yunli felt much better. She found her notebook and played the video that she had collected for a long time.
After they reunited, she watched this video many times.
The video was taken many years ago and the pixels are not high. It is not difficult to distinguish former teammates.
Fu Shize looked at these pictures and was momentarily distracted.
He returned to the podium. The audience was crowded with people, the voices were loud, and the lights were dazzling. In the blink of an eye, these pictures were cut into pieces.
He saw the person hugging him from behind and suddenly looked away.
"Stop looking."
Yunli was stunned for a moment and turned off the video.
She thought he might be in a bad mood because of Yun Yongchang's opposition.
She said at a loss: "I have admired you for a long time. I hung your photo on the wall and did my homework in front of it every day..."
She insisted on telling him that they had a long history.
She admired him seven years ago and fell in love with him seven years later.
She didn't want the two of them to finally get together, only to be separated because of Yun Yongchang's opposition.
Fu Shi lowered his jaw and seemed untouched, listening to her talk absentmindedly.
It's like he doesn't care at all.
He wouldn't be touched by the fact that she worshiped him seven years ago.
Just like how someone who doesn't like her would behave.
Yunli spoke without interest. After a long time, she said, "Let's go back to Jiangnan Garden."
The two of them were silent all the way.
Long-term repression breeds anger. After arriving at Jiangnanyuan, Yunli walked to his room with a strong purpose, picked up the photo album and continued to flip through it.
Scroll all the way to the last photo.
She didn't take it in at all.
He's so smart, he's always in control, and he knows exactly what he wants to know. Yunli shook her palm weakly and asked softly: "Aren't you going to say something to me?"
Fu Shize turned his head and asked her, "What did you say?"
“…”
Fu Shize showed no emotion: "Do you want me to go back to school and change back to my old self?"
It is true that Yunli really wants him to return to school. She didn't want him to indulge in the boundless darkness, and the once bright light became extremely dim. But it was obvious that this was not what she wanted to ask now.
Yunli's tone was stiff: "Yes."
Fu Shi crossed his chest and leaned against the wall, watching her silently. For a long time, he remained noncommittal and simply said: "I understand."
His tone and eyes were just as alienated as when they first met.
Yunli waited for his next step, waiting for him to tell her what happened.
However, he always leaned against the wall, not approaching, and had no intention of speaking.
A deeply buried time bomb exploded.
Yunli's sense of powerlessness is getting stronger and stronger, and the gap between the two seems to never be eliminated.
Why is she always isolated from him, unable to get into his heart despite trying so many times, as if she is dispensable.
He didn't need her to participate and share.
She couldn't feel the importance he attached to their relationship.
Yunli closed the album hard and put it back to its original position.
She never knew that she would be so rude and carefree in front of Fu Shize. She walked out with red eyes.
Fu Shi took her wrist.
Yunli was furious and without saying a word, she just opened his hand.
After returning to the room, Yunli took a long time to calm down. She sat sadly on the edge of the bed and looked at her door.
…
The sound of water stopped, and the bathroom was filled with mist. Fu Shi put the towel on his hair, water dripped down, and he wiped his hair very slowly.
Yunli is already asleep.
He took a taxi to a nearby bar. Xu Qingsong had been waiting there for a long time. When he saw him, he sneered: "Why didn't you bring Yunli with you?"
Ever since Fu Shize fell in love, Xu Qingsong couldn't remember how many times she asked him to go out to play without success.
Fu Shi remained silent and took off his black windbreaker and put it aside, leaving only a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up halfway.
Xu Qingsong raised his eyes: "Did you have a quarrel?"
Seeing that he didn't speak, Xu Qingsong tried to recreate the scene of the quarrel between the two pieces of wood in his mind, and couldn't help but said: "It's really unimaginable."
“…”
Fu Shi lowered his eyes and looked at the whiskey in the glass, drinking several glasses without saying a word.
After he came to EAW, Xu Qingsong had a little more contact with him. He also knew about the suspension of school. He had heard from others that his personality had changed a lot.
In my impression, Fu Shize didn't care at all what others thought of him.
It seems that how you live is your own business.
The person next to me stared at the empty wine glass and said in a sour tone: "I was better before."
"She also liked the old me."
Based on these two sentences, Xu Qingsong could already guess a rough idea.
Xu Qingsong was not familiar with Yun Li, but he just felt that this kind of thing was human nature.
Anyone who has seen him in his prime will only feel that he is at odds with the shadow of the present.
Xu Qingsong was silent for a while: "Are you feeling disappointed now?"
“…”
"I can't say I'm disappointed, I just feel sorry for her." Fu Shize laughed at himself and swung his glass: "He's not the person she likes."
It's not that Fu Shize hasn't thought about this possibility.
After all, what's so good about him now
…
It was only six or seven o'clock when Yunli woke up. She rolled out of bed and put her feet into slippers.
They are couple slippers bought by Fu Shize.
She struggled mentally for a while and went outside to wash up.
In the past, my biggest expectation when I went to bed every day was to see Fu Chize when I woke up.
He can be seen in the living room.
He would stand at the kitchen door, breakfast in hand, and ask her, "Are you awake?"
She went to the bathroom to wash up and saw two messages from Fu Shize, which were sent at around four in the morning.
[Put breakfast in the microwave to keep it warm. Heat for one minute before eating.]
[Grandma is seriously ill, so I went back to stay with her.]
What a coincidence
In Yunli's view, the two had a quarrel last night and their relationship was in jeopardy.
She couldn't tell whether this was Fu Shize's excuse to avoid her, and she had no way of pursuing it.
He might not have liked her that much in the first place. After seeing Yun Yongchang yesterday, he might not have a particularly strong desire to continue with her.
The wound that had been closed was torn open again.
Dejectedly, she turned the microwave on to one minute, and a ding sounded in the empty house.
Feeling empty in her heart, Yunli sat at the dining table and stared at the breakfast in a daze.
Eggs and toast, and a glass of milk.
She was used to two people in this room. As she ate toast, a boundless feeling of loneliness filled her heart.
Without notifying Fu Shize, Yunli took a taxi back to Qili Xiangdu.
It wasn't until the afternoon that she remembered to reply to Fu Shize: [Okay. Take good care of yourself.]
She avoided thinking about the problems between them.
It seems that if you bury your head, this matter will not be worse.
There are also recorded drone videos and audios in the notebook. Yunli spent several days editing them and uploaded the finished product to Station E.
Fu Shi would send her WeChat messages, mostly explaining what happened within the day.
He said something and she responded.
Sometimes when she gets emotional in the middle of the night, Yunli wants to talk to Fu Shize about her inner struggles and doubts about the relationship at all costs, but she often loses a large paragraph of text and ends up deleting it.
She didn't want to do it again and have her confirm repeatedly that he actually didn't like and care about her that much.
When Fu Shize called her, they would fall into silence for a long time.
They all wanted to say something, but none of them said it.
Love is not just sweet.
There will be a lot of friction, sadness, suspicion and worries in love.
Not everyone can learn to love someone in love.
…
There was only the occasional sound of instruments in the room.
Fu Shi looked at the old man with gray hair on his temples, the wrinkles on his face representing the traces of time, and his hand covered with spots holding his weakly.
He sat there until the monitor turned into a horizontal line.
Fu Shi smoothed out the quilt for the old man.
"I don't want to go to the funeral."
Leaving these words behind, he walked out the door directly. The temperature outside was three degrees, but Fu Shi forgot to put on his coat. Everyone he passed looked like a zombie, including himself.
Grandma's death was foreseeable, and her life was forcibly extended using instruments.
However, there is no one left who watched him grow up.
Fu Shize had no memory of his parents since he was born. When he grew up, he remembered a little bit and found out that his parents taught at Western University of Science and Technology and spent most of their time in the school's laboratory except for sleeping.
His parents were unable to accompany him, so he was raised by his grandparents since he was a child.
Jiang Yuan and Chen Jinping were born on the same day. This origin prompted Chen Jinping to believe that the two families were closely related.
His earliest memory was when he was three years old. Jiang Yuan was seven years old at that time. Worried about his instability, he took him to buy pomegranates from a roadside stall.
He bought two and gave him one.
Fu Shize had been restless since he was a child. He had a bit of a ruffian personality and attended too many cram schools. Whenever he had free time, he would drag Jiang Yuan around and get into trouble.
After being discovered by his grandparents, the elder Jiang Yuanhui took over all the responsibilities.
Jiang Yuan had a gentle personality and would use sweet words to coax his grandparents. He would often smile and tell Fu Shize that he should learn more.
He went to the same elementary school and junior high school as Jiang Yuan. He was four years younger than Jiang Yuan. After jumping to the junior high school, he was much smaller than his peers and the same height.
The two of them always go in and out together. Jiang Yuan had something to do at home that day, so he went home alone. The senior students were said by their families to be inferior to him, a ten-year-old skipper.
Fu Shize has not been afraid of trouble since he was a child. He didn't care about the four people opposite him and walked forward directly with his schoolbag in hand.
Several students beat him up, took out everything in his bag, and threw it into a nearby ditch.
In fact, he was quite indifferent.
Anyway, when Jiang Yuan comes back, two versus four should be safer than one versus four.
That was the only time Fu Shize was bullied, and he didn't tell Jiang Yuan immediately.
Someone told Jiang Yuan about this via text message, and he ran directly back to school from home and pushed those people into the ditch.
That was one of the rare times Jiang Yuan lost his temper, and he accused him coldly: "Aze, you're older now, so you won't tell me what happened, right?"
After that, Fu Shize hid nothing from him.
When he was in high school, his parents wanted to send him to Xifu Experimental Middle School, but he refused.
The only reason for staying in Nanwu was to go to the same high school as Jiang Yuan.
Later, the two went to the same university and studied the same major.
He grew up under the protection of Jiang Yuan.
Jiang Yuan taught him how to get along with others, how to love others, and what it felt like to be loved.
As time went by, he and Jiang Yuan became more and more similar. The other was his brother, playmate, and friend.
Before the college entrance examination, my grandfather passed away.
Two years ago, Jiang Yuan said goodbye to him.
After Jiang Yuan left, the past two years seemed to have disappeared.
Fu Shi hopes that it does not exist.
Today, grandma also left.
It rains when all the people you love leave.
Nanwu, why is there always so much rain
Numbly, I started the car. There was a sea of cars and people, the information around me was highly blurred, and the rain violently exploded on the glass.
He couldn't and didn't want to lose anymore.
He wanted to be by her side.
He didn't want to make empty promises.
I just want Yunli to give him some time and he will change back to the Fu Chize he was before.
After parking the car, Fu Shize walked to the door of Qili Xiangdu, panting and soaking wet. When he raised his hand, he suddenly remembered.
Oh, she didn't like the way he looked.
He shouldn't have seen her in this desolate state.
After Fu Shize left Qili Xiangdu, he drove to the Nanwu Cemetery. The clouds were so thick that it looked like night at three o'clock in the afternoon.
Fu Shize was the only one on the dark road.
Following a familiar route, he walked to the spot where he usually stayed. The person in the photo was smiling.
"Grandma is gone."
Jiang Yuan would not give him an answer.
"I still have cents."
He remembered the day he went to Xifu. After a year and a half, he returned to the laboratory building of the Control College. He went to Jiang Yuan's office and found that his work station had been replaced.
Other people's computers, pen holders, notebooks, and jackets are neatly arranged above.
Obviously countless times before, when he went in, he saw Jiang Yuan's coat.
No one remembers him.
The gap in my heart became even bigger.
He walked downstairs in a dull manner. He couldn't see clearly the road in front of him. He only felt that the darkness was endless. In an instant, he saw the end.
Her face was red from the cold, her eyes were shining, and she handed the card holder to him.
The gap in my heart was filled.
Fu Shize repeated: "I still have a few cents."
After finishing speaking, he laughed self-deprecatingly: "Lili met me seven years ago."
He lowered his eyes, leaned against the stone tablet, and curled up: "What she wants and likes is that Fu Shize."
"I didn't dare tell her."
"That Fu Shize can't go back."
"I didn't dare tell her."
He muttered to himself, rain getting into his eyes. Wrapped in the night, he forgot about the passage of time.