A piece of paper fell out of the book. It was folded and had words on it. I picked it up, opened it and read it. My eyes were filled with tears and I was stunned.
That was written to me by Li Xiaohuan, but I don’t know when it was written.
Brother Xiaozhe:
(Draw a smiley face with tongue sticking out.)
I am happy when I am with you, even though it is short, but I am happy. No matter what, although I have left you, some things still exist.
Think about the days when we went fishing in the river together, the days when we lay on the top of the mountain and watched the stars, the days when we picked wild flowers in the wild, and you put all the flowers on my head, and you said I was a flower fairy...
I cried when I saw this. I knew that this was a debt owed from the previous life, and I had to pay it back in this life, and gave it to this woman named Bai Wan.
I have been in a particularly bad mood these past few days. I don’t know why, but I have a premonition that something is going to happen. I can even smell the scent of death.
When death comes, you can smell it. He Dana once told me that the smell of death is like the smell of grass when it is cut. That is the smell of death.
When you smell this smell, it means that you are close to death. When it happens more than three times, it is a certainty. Of course, this must be when there is no grass. The smell you smell is not as strong as when the grass is cut, but very clear, very light, very light. You can't even smell it when you are not paying attention.
I know that I might be finished. This is the second time I smelled it today. Although it was very short, I smelled it. I smelled it while sitting in the office. I didn't feel uneasy, but seemed to be calmer.
I saw Gao Hua. Gao Hua was missing. There were words on his face. They said "Gui Jue". Anyone who saw it would be in trouble.
I saw Gao Hua by the river. I was sitting by the river, watching the water flowing, and then I saw Gao Hua just across the river. I couldn't be sure at first because he was too far away. When I was sure, I felt a little nervous.
I didn't move. Gao Hua left the river. When I saw him again, he was behind me and not wearing a mask. I didn't know why he did that. It seemed that I didn't owe him anything.
"Director Ke, I'm really sorry. It depends on how old you are. You can't understand why I did this, but I can tell you that you cut the skin of Mao Xiaoli, one of whom was my sister. You know the consequences of cutting the skin on the dead."
I understand. As for the skin cutting issue, I also know that sooner or later, I will be punished. I owe it, and there is nothing I can do about it.
"I owe this to you, and I will pay it back."
Gao Hua is gone.
I was busy with some things because I was dying. I smelled the fragrance of grass for the third time, not long after Gao Hua left.
The next day, I drove to check on my work and I had a car accident. I died. Life really is flowing, just like my father always told me when he took me to the river, that is the flowing life, the flow of life. I didn’t understand it, but now I understood it. I was lying on the operating table and I could feel that life was flowing, flowing away bit by bit, until my soul left my body. I saw my father crying.
I have repaid what I owed with my life.
My soul returned to the crematorium, and I was going to follow my body. This is a place I am familiar with, but also a place I don’t like.
During these three days, my soul was in the office of the crematorium. I had to accompany my father, and he cried several times.
Until he burned me, I could feel it, because he burned me with his own hands, and it hurt more than burning himself.
Seven days later, I was reincarnated, but I couldn't turn. It seemed like I was stuck somewhere. I didn't know what went wrong.
I went to Liu Shougui's place. He was drinking. He could feel the existence of my soul, but he turned a blind eye to it. I understood why he treated me like this. If I couldn't find the existence of this problem, then I wouldn't be able to reincarnate. After a year, I would be a wandering ghost. It would take a hundred years before I would have another chance to reincarnate.
At this moment, my soul can't do anything. It will take three months after I train myself to be able to move lighter objects. What I want to know is He Dana's diary. I believe it should record the reasons and methods for my inability to reincarnate.
I can only wait and wait for three months to pass and train myself. If I can move objects, then I can read the diary left by He Dana. That is my only feasible way. For a soul, it is extremely difficult to do such a thing. Almost few souls can do it.
Sometimes we will find that some things have been moved, and some things are inexplicably lost. In fact, sometimes it is the soul that has moved and moved away.
This happened before I died. I had a bank card that was left at home and no one touched it. At that time, my mother Yun Bai followed Boss Fu and my father died. I was alone at home and the card was gone. I remember it very clearly. The card was just there. It was moved away by its soul. The card ended up in my mother's wallet. Probably because I blamed my mother and her soul couldn't stand it anymore. I knew at that time that no matter how wrong my mother was, she was still my mother. In the eyes and heart of her son, she was never wrong. So I thanked my mother.
I wander around every day, and most of the time I watch Zhang Wen working in the office, in a daze. I always lie in a certain place. The soul is invisible to people for three months. After three months, it is like a soft, shapeless, palm-sized piece of light gray ghost thing. At first it is so light that it is almost invisible, and slowly turns gray, light gray, and dark gray. The soul will find a place with the same color as its own soul to stay, so people cannot see the soul. Only occasionally, they will see the soul inadvertently, but it will be fleeting.
Sometimes I will play with my son, he is just over one year old, and I prefer to lie on his body, my soul is warm and soft.
He sleeps naked every day, sometimes on his little hands, sometimes on his little butt, and sometimes on his face. Whenever I lie on him, he always smiles, even when he is asleep.
In this way, I spent three months, and I began to miss this kind of spiritual life. Although I had no fixed place to stay, I was happy every day.
I trained myself to move objects, but I failed every time. The first thing I moved was a strand of hair. I touched it once, twice, three times... 10,000 times, 20,000 times, 30,000 times...
Without success, I would get upset sometimes, but I persisted. I could not cling to more things, because this world does not belong to me. If there are things you cling to, you cannot move things successfully.
After thirty years, the soul starts to harm its relatives and causes them constant troubles, so I have to give up this attachment.
All the troubles in our lives come from the souls of our loved ones who are reluctant to leave us.
I stopped visiting my son and reading the scriptures. I stayed in the temple every day, practicing moving.
Several months passed and I still didn't succeed. It was snowing and I felt cold. I found a warm room. This warmth made me lose my fighting spirit. I still found a cold place. My soul was shivering with cold, but I still persisted.
However, what I didn't expect was that, that night, while I was still practicing, it was so cold that I no longer felt tired or irritable. As my hair moved, my soul was frozen, frozen in the winter of that year, unable to move. Only when spring came, my soul could wake up. This was what I had not expected. When spring came, I would only have three or four months left. It would be a bit difficult to turn the pages of a book in these three or four months.
During the Chinese New Year, a man came up the mountain. I saw him walk towards me, pick up a branch I was lying on, and take it back home. The branch was shaped like a dragon, so he picked it up. He had an old father, and he made a dragon-shaped cane for his old father. He was a filial son.
It was warm at home, and I calmed down. I left the branch and lay down in the corner of his house, relaxing. This was lucky. If I was not on this branch, I would have to wait until spring.
I recovered and went to another room. No one lived in that room, so it was convenient for me to practice moving objects. I went in and saw a photo hanging on the wall. I was very familiar with this person, a girl, about seventeen or eighteen years old. Looking at this girl, I felt that I had seen her before, but I couldn't remember who she was for a moment, so I leaned over the desk. There were books on the desk, which were textbooks for senior high school.
It was not until the next day that I remembered that the girl’s name was Chen Xiaochen. She was seventeen years old and a senior high school student. She did not perform well in the mock exam that year and so she jumped off the building.
I used ghost makeup because she looked too young. When I was putting on makeup, I found that a bone was missing. I stopped and went to the scene, but I really couldn't find the bone.
I didn't tell her family about this because her family is already in great pain.
I didn't expect that this might be the result of cause and effect. If this hadn't happened, I might not have been picked up. With such a short time left, I didn't know if I could achieve my goal of turning the pages of the book.
I trained in this quiet room every day, and once a week only her mother would come in, play in the snow room, and sit for a while.
This kind of training is painful, making one feel like the pain of not being able to grasp anything.
It wasn't until April, when spring came, that I was able to turn the pages of the book. I was so excited; I had succeeded.
Before leaving the girl's house, I leaned over her photo and thanked her.
That day I went to He Dana's yard, and no one had been there for a long time.
I entered eighteen rooms, one by one, looking for the diary that could allow the soul to be reincarnated.
I found it, and opened it. Every time I turned a page, I needed to rest for half a day. I haven't reached that level of ease yet.
On the first page, what I saw was something He Dana wrote to me, which surprised me.
I know that you will come here to find a way to explain, because I have trapped your soul. The purpose of my letting you come here is that you must read all these diaries and then reincarnate. In your next life, you will still work in a crematorium, because Yin studies need to develop, and only you can learn these things...
Crazy He, I have worked in a crematorium in both of my lifetimes. Can’t you let me change the way I live
I stood there in a daze. In my next life, I will still be a crematorium worker. This really made me angry. If this is the case, I might as well not reincarnate. But it would be bad for my son.
I started reading my diary, eighteen of them, and I don’t know when I will finish. (To be continued)