The weather was very hot, so Yinyan didn't drive because she said she was scared.
My master and I were sitting at the operating table. I felt something was wrong, and the master also noticed it and asked me in a low voice.
"What’s wrong with you?"
"I felt someone on my back."
The master was startled.
"Don't scare me."
I stopped talking, I don't know if the master has experienced this. I saw that the master was very nervous, and it was over at 1pm today.
I took a shower, changed my clothes and waited outside for the master, and then the director came over. I should have called him the curator, but it was a habit.
"How are you these days?"
"It's good. The master is very good to me. He relieved me of a lot of pressure and I adapted quickly."
"Your master is a good master, four years older than you, and he knows how to care for people. He is very good."
The director left after he finished speaking. I understood what he meant. He wanted me to date the master. Am I dating the master now? The master was very clear. I also thought Yinyan was good, but my mother had said that I could not make her unhappy anymore.
Yinyan came out, and after we had dinner, she followed me to practice driving.
The coach asked me.
"Your partner?"
"oh."
I don't want to explain.
"It's very nice of you. I even wipe your sweat off your face."
"oh."
The coach also saw that I didn't want to pay attention to him, so he stopped asking.
At around four o'clock, we went to the city and the master bought me a piece of clothing.
"Master, this is not good, right?"
Yinyan just stared at me without saying a word.
"swallow."
Yinyan was happy.
We didn't get home until after ten o'clock that day. My mother was sitting on the sofa watching TV, but she was distracted. She stood up when I walked in.
"I'm telling you, stay away from that Silver Swallow."
I was so surprised that my mother actually knew Yinyan.
"How do you know that?"
I'm a little unhappy, anyway, it's disrespectful to me.
"Don't forget, your father was one of the earliest refiners in the crematorium. He is considered a hero."
I know that there might be people coming to the field, and they would come to check from time to time, and they did a good job in this regard.
"There's nothing between me and her. She's just my master."
Mother didn't say anything else, but sighed. I know that I have fallen in love with Yinyan, little by little, but in order to stop my mother from crying and shedding tears, I want to stay away from Yinyan.
During the three days of rest, I turned off my phone, otherwise Yinyan would call me and I couldn't refuse. I couldn't refuse because I didn't have the courage.
When I got to work, Yinyan had already changed into work clothes and was waiting for me.
“Why did you turn off your phone?”
"It's my own phone, I can do whatever I want with it."
This is quite hurtful, but I can only say this. My mother shed tears all her life. She never said anything to my father. She just shed tears secretly. I saw it countless times.
I was sitting at the console, distracted, and didn't press the knife-slicing button. Yinyan was also distracted, but she didn't have any problems in this regard, while I didn't.
When they found out, Yinyan was shocked and immediately pulled me to her stage. I almost fell. She pressed the knife-cutting button, but it was too late. It exploded. Everyone looked at stage 8 and dealt with it immediately. The family members saw it. In fact, this was not an accident in the earliest old furnace. I have read my father's diary. In the beginning, there was no experience and no one had cremated the dead. In 1967, cremation was implemented. There were no masters in this field. The first batch accumulated experience by themselves. But now it is not the same. It is a major accident.
The family members started making a fuss and the director came in.
"Master Yin, how could such a story happen to you? You are a veteran, with more than four years of experience..."
"Captain, I did it. I created this story."
"I just see you and your master sitting here."
The director didn't know what it meant.
"You two follow me to the office."
Channels 8 and 9 will stop broadcasting after other people have dealt with the ashes.
My master and I entered the office, and the manager closed the door and said.
"Sit down!"
I didn't expect that he didn't get furious but was very gentle.
"Yinyan, I'll handle this matter like this. The accident is yours, and I'll deduct half a year's bonus from you. You don't have to worry about the family members."
"Captain, I did this."
"You haven't become an apprentice yet, so no matter how big the accident is, it's your master's fault."
"Captain, how could you do this?"
"Stop talking, you can go off work today."
The family members came, crying and shouting...
My master and I returned to the office. I sat there in a daze, and my master suddenly asked me.
"You said you felt someone behind you?"
I was stunned for a moment. She only brought up this matter now.
"Yes, that day, I felt someone lying on my back, but it was only for a moment. Maybe I felt something was wrong."
"Okay, it's alright, let's go eat."
I didn't go and went home.
My mother didn't ask me why I came back so early. I went into the room and fell asleep until it got dark, when my mother called me to eat.
"Mom, I want to ask you, why can't Yinyan be your daughter-in-law?"
My mother didn't say anything and remained silent. Because I knew the reason, it was unnecessary to ask this question. My mother didn't even cry, perhaps because she had no tears left.
The weather is getting hotter and hotter, but it hasn't rained yet.
In this accident, the site waived the cremation fee and provided everything free of charge, thus solving the problem.
My master and I were sitting at the control console, and I felt it again. There was someone lying on my back. I looked at Yinyan, and she looked at me.
"It's okay, don't be afraid."
I was stunned for a moment. Did she know what happened to me just by looking at me
That day, the master kept staring at my hands while I was working, for fear that another accident would happen. Sometimes he would inadvertently remind me in advance.
The director is here.
"Yanzi, do you want to go for a drink tonight?"
"go."
Yinyan is very straightforward.
"Don't worry about it. Who doesn't have accidents here?"
I didn't say anything and the director left.
In the evening, all fourteen people in the class went, and I had no reason not to go. Even if I had a reason, I would have gone.
There are fourteen people in this class, only three men, one is working at the conveyor station, another is a technician, and I am the only one working at the operating table. There are seven or eight unmarried people, all girls. It seems that finding a partner is indeed a problem. The strangest thing is that these girls are all very beautiful.
I didn't say anything and no one joked with me. It seemed that I belonged to Yinyan alone and no one dared to tease me. It seemed that my master still had a lot of prestige here.
They mentioned that in the first year when my master came, there was an accident with the furnace and the master crawled into the furnace and took out a half-burned body. My scalp tingled because I didn't have the courage.
After drinking that day, we went to sing. I was very quiet the whole time. Yinyan was a little drunk and kissed me. Everyone started to make a noise. No one had kissed me since I was a child. I had never been in a relationship. It turned out that my father was a refiner. There was a shadow in my heart. My mother always said that my father smelled like a dead person, but I had never smelled it. However, I always felt that I had this smell too. I didn't know if I had it or not.
At that time, I avoided my father intentionally or unintentionally. The day before my father died, he asked me to hug him. Only then did I know that he had not hugged me since I was seven years old. Because, when my father hugged me on the day I was seven years old, I shouted at him that he smelled like a dead person. Since then, my father never hugged me again and just looked at me from afar. At that moment, I realized the sadness in my father's heart.
That day I hugged my father and cried, and he actually cried out loud.
"Dad, you can hug me every day from now on."
Thinking of this, tears started to flow. Yinyan was stunned, stopped singing, and pulled me out.
"I'm sorry. I'm drunk."
"It has nothing to do with you."
I walked, walking on the streets of this ancient city. I thought how great it would be if my father were still alive. He could hold me in his arms, and I would not be so lonely and scared anymore.
There are many kinds of loneliness, loneliness without a lover, loneliness without a father, loneliness without a home... They are all different and cannot be compensated for by each other. At this moment, I am not lonely without a father.
I walked until dawn before returning home and my mother was still sitting on the sofa.
"sorry."
"It's okay, just eat and sleep!"
My mother is always like this, which makes me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up in the afternoon and my mother was watching TV. She was always distracted when watching TV.
"Mom, I want to talk to you."
The mother was stunned and nodded.
"Your father died. I always felt that he was at the crematorium. I went there and really felt that he was there. It made me feel at ease. And as for Yinyan, I felt that I fell in love with her."
My mother stared at me in a daze. She didn't say anything, slowly stood up and went back to her room.
I don’t know what my mother is thinking at this moment. Maybe she has endured the smell of death all her life and doesn’t want to endure it anymore.
In the evening, my mother came out carrying her bag.
"I'm going to stay at my mother's house for a few days."
My mother’s first escape left me stunned.
My grandma is over 80 years old and in very good health.
"She has caught a cold these days, so I'll go back and take care of her."
Obviously this was an excuse; the mother couldn't bear it anymore and wanted to run away.
"I'll take you there."
"Need not."
My mother ran away, I think, and that was also my mother's protest.
I had to consider whether to leave the crematorium. It was a difficult choice, just as it was difficult for me to go to the crematorium.
When I was at work, sitting at operating table No. 8, my mind just couldn't calm down.
Yinyan looked at me from time to time to remind me.
"Master, I can operate it myself."
Yinyan clapped her hands and stood up, which scared me.
"Director, I need to pee."
Everyone in the room laughed, and the director sat down and whispered.
"Your master is unhappy. How did you offend her?"
"I didn't mess with her."
I know why my master is unhappy.
"You better not offend your master. She has a bad temper. She has become much gentler since you came here."
"Director, do you think we smell?"
The director was stunned and didn't answer me. I thought that it must be there, but I just couldn't smell it.
My master came back, didn't talk to me, and left on his own after get off work.
This was the first time I saw my master really angry. I felt she was more beautiful when she was angry. I guess there was something wrong with me. When I decided to come to the crematorium, I felt that I had some psychological problems. Was it because I owed my father too many hugs? I don’t know. (To be continued)