I was really slowly forgetting my life. I was so panicked that I secretly wrote down everything I had not forgotten in a notebook.
I don't know if anyone will come to save me. Will Zheng Jun? Will Zhang Xiaoxue? Maybe no one else is willing to save me except the two of them. Yinyan thought about this life. The Yinyan in this life doesn't seem to remember my previous life at all. She was not from that life. Maybe after coming back, she won't remember anything, as if nothing happened. So how did I kill Yinyan? Why? I also had a car accident. I can't remember things. It's temporary. In fact, this is the entry point to return to this life. The car accident is just an excuse to come back.
I really began to slowly forget the past, and sometimes I would feel happy.
My memories flowed away bit by bit like water. I actually lived a happy life. Only the things recorded were read by me. I still knew that there was such a life. Sometimes I even felt that it was a novel I wrote myself. I couldn't believe it. I thought it was over. After I lived in this life, could I go back to the previous life? Yin Yan said that it seemed that I couldn't go back. There was only this life. I didn't know which life it would be if I went back.
I really lived like this, but in just a month, it seemed that I had forgotten everything. I was dead, so in that life, I no longer had a physical body. I was afraid that it would be impossible for me to go back. If I couldn't go back in three days, I would never be able to go back, because I no longer had a physical body.
I never expected that Yinyan would use this trick. She made me feel scared, or rather, love made me feel another side.
I will die in this life. Will my friends, relatives, and loved ones in the next life be sad because they will not be able to see each other anymore? Will my mother Yun Bai be sad? I don't know, but I am sure that if my father is alive, it will be a blow to him because he loves me with his body and soul.
I thought that was it, but I didn’t expect that when I went out on the street that day, I met a pretty girl who started chatting with me. I ignored her and thought about it. I felt that this world was strange to me. I couldn’t get used to the smell. I felt that this was not my home, but another strange city. Although I was familiar with this place because I lived here in my previous life, and although I had forgotten many things, I seemed to have a special feeling. This feeling has always remained.
I didn't tell Yinyan when I got back. I brought my daughter to play with me. I like my daughter. She is pretty and smart, but she is a little clingy.
I took my daughter to a teahouse to drink tea. I wanted her to develop noble morals and qualities. My daughter behaved like that and she also knew a little about tea.
I saw it that day. The girl who chatted with me that day was sitting opposite me and looked at me from time to time. I glanced at her casually, and that one glance left me stunned. Then I calmed down, but at that moment, my heart was beating wildly.
After I took my daughter home, I went out again and went to the teahouse again. The girl was still sitting there, and I sat opposite her. The reason I went out was because she was wearing an amber bracelet on her wrist. It was left by my father Ke Zuo. My father's diary mentioned that it belonged to Hao Fei, a girl he loved, and even loved in the days to come, but unfortunately she died. I gave this bracelet to Zhang Xiaoxue, and she wore it on her birthday and never took it off.
The workmanship of that bracelet is unique. It is a star with the moon wrapped around the sun. It means that the wife is the moon, the children are the stars, and Taiyuan is the sun. They always revolve around the sun with their hands. A woman who longs for a home is Hao Fei. I have seen their love story in the diary.
"Xiaoxue?"
The girl nodded.
"How could you be like this? How come you looked different originally?"
"This is how I am in this world. I'm here to take you back. Please don't make any noise. I'll need two more days."
I was stunned. I didn't expect that it was Zhang Xiaoxue who came to pick me up and save me. Should I go back now? My daughter and my beloved Yinyan. I love Yinyan in this life.
I didn’t know what to do, and looked at Zhang Xiaoxue.
"You will kill your wife, Yinyan, in two days. This is a story that ends here. Then you will commit suicide. At the moment you commit suicide, I will take you away. Your soul must follow. Don't linger, especially your daughter. You will miss her."
"What about my daughter?"
"That life has passed. It's just a story. It's over. You don't need to think too much about it."
"But… "
"I know you love your daughter very much. We can have one too, but you must not linger on. Otherwise, you only have two days left in this world. If you reincarnate again, you will not be a human being anymore. Because you are back in this world again, if I don't take you away, you can't go back. Some people are attached to their previous lives, and when they reincarnate, they close their eyes and return to their previous lives. When they reincarnate again, they will be something else, not a human being anymore."
I didn't say anything. Zhang Xiaoxue left. She couldn't stay for too long.
Zhang Xiaoxue appeared instead of Zheng Jun. I thought it would be Zheng Jun, but it wasn’t.
I went home and Yinyan celebrated my birthday. I don't remember what day my birthday was in this life, but she remembered. My daughter also bought me a gift, which made me cry. I wish I could stay, even for just two days. But I decided to go back. Maybe Zhang Xiaoxue was right. I'm sorry, daughter, I've made you suffer in this life. If there is an afterlife, you will still be my daughter.
I don't know how in just two days, how could happiness turn into murder? I can't imagine how this would happen, no matter what, I hope it doesn't happen.
I had a very happy birthday and everything was so perfect. After sending my daughter to kindergarten, I went home. I had been sick. Yinyan went to work. Yinyan in this life was a teacher. I couldn’t figure out what the connection was between a refiner and a teacher. They were two completely different professions, one was the beginning and the other was the end.
Tomorrow is the day I will kill Yinyan. I can't think of a reason to kill her. What kind of reason would make me kill her? I can't think of it.
On this day, I felt uneasy and went to a teahouse. I thought this must be a place I often visit. The waiters all called me Professor Qiu, my last name in this life. They were very warm to me, and it seemed that I came here often.
I want to go to my office and see, at least I should see.
I went there, and it turned out to be a place I was familiar with. I guess it should be familiar. The memories of this life came back to me bit by bit and were slowly recovering.
I took my child home. He had a slight cold today. The teacher called me, so I went to pick him up two hours in advance. When I got home, I didn't expect to see Yinyan lying on the bed with a man. I sent the child to my parents. I have been to my parents' home once in this life, only once. It felt both familiar and strange. Then I turned around and went home.
Yinyan was at home, the man had already left. She knelt down in front of me. I didn't say anything and lit a cigarette. After smoking one, I picked up the fruit knife on the tea table and stabbed her. Yinyan fell down. I went through my past life again in this way. The pain was beyond description. I closed my eyes.
Zhang Xiaoxue came. I opened the door, she came in, closed the door, and stood at the door.
"You pretended I wasn't here."
I sat down and smoked one cigarette after another. After half a pack, I committed suicide. I killed my lover and myself, but love cannot be killed. Even when I lost consciousness, I was still in pain.
My soul left my body and I saw Zhang Xiaoxue.
"You must follow me. Your soul must follow me."
I am attached to this life.
"I want to see my daughter again."
"No, there's no time. If you keep hesitating like this, I can't help you."
I still followed Zhang Xiaoxue. The tears of my soul were blue. They dripped on the ground like a blooming blue flower. It was so beautiful and painful.
I followed Zhang Xiaoxue, looking back from time to time. I didn't know how I woke up. When I woke up, I was at home, but I saw the little ghost, a new little ghost, in the corner. He looked at me fearfully, but I pretended not to see him.
My head hurt so much that it felt like it was splitting, as if I had had a long dream, but the pain was still there. I covered my face and cried. Maybe it really was a dream and it would never happen in reality.
My body in this life was not burned. My flesh was cold, and even a little watery. I knew that was the result of being frozen in the freezer. I slowly recovered, and it seemed that everything was over. However, I can see the little ghost now, and that doesn't make me too happy.
The little kid seemed to think that I couldn't see him, so he actually walked up to me and sat there staring at me. But he was just a few years old, so I ignored him and pretended he wasn't in this world.
The next day, when I went to work, Zhao Juan looked at me and said.
"Are you well?"
Am I sick? I don't know, I nodded.
"You look quite weak. You should rest for a few more days."
"I'm fine, Master."
Zheng Jun ignored me and didn't even look at me. It was really strange.
That day, after I finished my work, I wanted to ask Zheng Jun what had happened, but she drove away without paying any attention to me. I was quite surprised, said Zhao Juan.
"Go home, it's okay."
It was terribly strange what was happening.
I saw Mao Xiaoli, who was wearing mourning clothes, coming over, and I stopped. I was scared and shivered. Could it be another skin cutting? I was always afraid of skin cutting.
Mao Xiaoli walked up to me, smiled and said.
"Xilai Hotel, I'll treat you when you get better."
I was waiting for Mao Xiaoli in the car. She came out after changing her clothes. After getting in the car, I drove to the Xilai Hotel. I wanted to know what had happened during these days.
It was still the same private room. This should be the private room reserved for Mao Xiaoli. There was a painting that was extremely weird. Sometimes it looked like a scary face, and sometimes it couldn't be seen at all. It was like an abstract painting, but it was different.
The food and wine are coming, Mao Xiaoli said.
"Let's have a toast to congratulate you on your discharge."
I looked at Mao Xiaoli and finished the wine. In that life, I didn't drink alcohol, only tea, maybe because I was a professor.
"Sister Mao, what happened?"
"You disappeared. To be exact, something happened to you. I know I died and went to another world because Yinyan appeared there and I saw her. Now Yinyan is gone and you don't appear either. She took you to another world, which was your previous life. I think that's why this happened. Other people only know that you were sick and went to another place for medical treatment. You were gone for more than a month. Who kept your body and who rescued you from another world? I have no idea. I guess it was Zheng Jun, Zhang Xiaoxue, or Master Zhou..."
Mao Xiaoli really knew a lot. I knew in my heart that it was Zhang Xiaoxue who saved me.
"How can I see the little ghost?"
"This is normal. Maybe some opportunity allowed you to see it. People need such an opportunity. If you get it, you can see it. Of course, you are an extremely yin person, so it is only a matter of time before you see it."
When I came to work, there were hundreds of little ghosts running around on the road to the crematorium. I was so scared that I slammed the brakes. The road to the crematorium was full of little ghosts.
“What should I do next?”
"You don't need to do anything, just do what you were supposed to do. But you have to go see the person who saved you. She has paid a lot."
That day, I returned home and the cold house became even colder. What happened to Zheng Jun? Why did he ignore me? I was quite confused.
I called Zheng Jun, but he didn't answer. I knew something was wrong.
I have to go see Zhang Xiaoxue first. Mao Xiaoli said she paid a lot, but I don't know what she paid for.
I went to Master Zhou's place, but Zhang Xiaoxue was not there. When Master Zhou saw me, he was very unhappy and had a gloomy face.
"What are you doing here?"
I was stunned. It seemed that I really made Master Zhou angry.
"I'm looking for Xiaoxue."
"She's gone home."
I didn't say anything else. I went to Zhang Xiaoxue's home and knocked on the door. It was Zhang Xiaoxue's father who opened the door. I had seen him once before. When he saw me, he came up and slapped me in the face. Then he chased me and beat me. I ran away. The slap made the corner of my mouth bleed. It seemed that Zhang Xiaoxue had paid a lot. I was anxious.
I ran to the street, and seeing that no one was chasing me, I sent a text message to Zhang Xiaoxue.
"What’s wrong with you?"
It took a long time for Zhang Xiaoxue to reply to the text message.
"I'm fine, nothing's wrong, how are you?"
I think Zhang Xiaoxue didn’t tell the truth. If it was just a simple sacrifice, her father wouldn’t have beaten me, and Master Zhou wouldn’t have treated me like this. (To be continued)