On the way back, the pattering cold rainwater kept beating on Xiao Wanqing's car window, drop by drop, falling into Xiao Wanqing's heart, making her pale with cold.
She coughed twice hastily, her eyes were full of injuries and tiredness.
Lin Xian has been lying to her.
She never found out.
She knew she shouldn't think, shouldn't recall. But she just couldn't help thinking of the past, remembering Yan Jia's stupid unreserved trust when she met one blind date after another after she believed her mother's illness.
It wasn't until Yan Jia was about to get engaged that she found out from others that her lover had been on a blind date without telling her.
Ah…
Pity myself and feel sorry for her going out early and coming back late, cooking soup at home every day for her to send to her mother, in an attempt to let her mother see my sincerity, ease the conflict between me and her mother, so that Yan Jia is not that difficult.
When you like someone, you can't help but let go of yourself slowly, trust that person wholeheartedly, and expose the softest and most vulnerable part of your heart to the other person without any defense.
And the deception of the other party is like a sharp knife, stabbing into the softest place where you should be the hardest but now facing her, making it dripping with blood.
Xiao Wanqing felt a little pain in her heart, more of it was fear.
She knew that Lin Xian was hiding and deceiving her at this stage, it could not be because of the transfer of feelings. However, Lin Xian's deception to her made her realize that Lin Xian, the child she always thought was pure and clean, might also deceive her.
As for himself, he had no defense at all.
She pursed her lips tightly, looking at the wipers that kept swinging from side to side, the warmth and tenderness in her eyes on the way gradually faded away, leaving only a gloomy, dark, calm lake.
When Lin Xian returned home in Xia Zhijin's car, Xiao Wanqing was waiting for her in the living room as usual. She didn't notice Xiao Wanqing's abnormality at all, as usual, she changed her shoes at the entrance, and ran to Xiao Wanqing with a rattling sound. She didn't even have time to put down her schoolbag, so she smiled and pecked Xiao Wanqing's lips enthusiastically: "Did Xiao Xiaowan miss me?"
Xiao Wanqing looked at the clear eyes of the girl who was close at hand, and a pain flashed in her heart. She raised the corners of her mouth and didn't respond to Lin Xian's question. Zhuangruo casually wanted to catch her and asked her: "It seems that I came back a little earlier than usual today. Is it because it's raining that the teacher finished class early?"
She stared at Lin Xian's eyes seriously, trying to see clearly the clues that the girl she didn't notice because of too much trust in the weekdays might have shown signs of flaws.
Sure enough, she found out that the girl was slightly taken aback by her natural question, and a little panic and discomfort flashed across her face.
Lin Xian came back early today because the parents of the tutor thanked her and Xia Zhijin for coming to make up lessons, and their children made progress in the mid-term exam, so the two parents invited her and Xia Zhijin to have a meal together. After dinner, they came back after a class.
Soon, Lin Xian returned to his calm appearance. She followed Xiao Wanqing's explanation for her, and replied: "Yes, that's right." She said in a dignified way: "The students are a little restless when they see the rain is getting bigger and bigger, and the teacher can't go on when he sees the class." It's time, we will be let go soon. But we have been specially told to keep our voices low so as not to affect other classes."
"Xianxian, are you taking an optional course upstairs in Zhuang Yue?" Xiao Wanqing was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked again.
Lin Xian didn't know how much Xiao Wanqing was looking forward to, looking forward to her confession. She begged: Xianxian, please be more guilty and flustered, let me trust you more.
Lin Xian's nervous mood due to lying has gradually calmed down. She blinked her eyes, as if it was real, she nodded generously and said, "Well, yes, what's wrong?"
Xiao Wanqing pursed her lips and stared at her eyes without blinking, staring at her still clear eyes. After a while, she lowered her snow-white neck, suppressing the dead silence and disappointment in her eyes.
Lin Xian, pretending to be.
For a moment, because of her sadness and fear, she couldn't help but wonder: if there is one, there are two, Lin Xian, is there...
Just thinking about it for a while, Xiao Wanqing felt distressed and couldn't help herself. She quickly stopped her excessive malicious speculation, and told herself rationally that thinking like this was not fair to Lin Xian.
She raised her head, gave Lin Xian a forced smile, and replied: "It's nothing, I just remembered that when I went to school, the terrain there was a bit low, and if it rained a little harder, there would be water accumulation." She clasped her hands After a while, as if he had made up his mind, he turned off the TV and said as usual: "Xianxian, go take a shower."
Lin Xian didn't suspect him, rubbed her head and said, "Okay, then I'll take a shower first."
But she turned around, and just a few steps away, Xiao Wanqing suddenly called her hastily: "Lin Xian..." The voice seemed a little strangely hoarse.
Lin Xian turned around, and saw Xiao Wanqing sitting sideways on the sofa in a daze, staring at her with a strange expression.
But after a while, Xiao Wanqing just told her plainly: "I changed the bath towel for you, and it's already placed in the bathroom cabinet."
Lin Xian frowned and touched the back of his head, feeling that Aunt Xiao probably wanted to say this? But she looked at Xiao Wanqing suspiciously again, and Xiao Wanqing's expression became normal again. She nodded uncomfortably, suppressing the doubts in her heart.
Back in the room, she took out the campus card, bus card and mobile phone from her pocket and put them on the table, only to realize that her mobile phone was turned off at some point.
Lin Xian took the phone and sat down at the desk calmly, then connected the charging cable, and turned on the phone while charging.
As soon as it was turned on, within a few seconds, the phone vibrated crazily. Many of them were call notifications, telling her that during the shutdown period, Aunt Xiao called her once, and Chen Zhi called her eleven times in a series of fatal calls.
Lin Xian was a little baffled, did Chen Zhi find herself in a hurry? She continued to scroll up suspiciously, and saw that Chen Zhi had sent her many text messages.
She was smiling a little, but when she opened the text message and read the content of the text message, the smile disappeared immediately.
In the next second, she dropped the phone, pushed away the chair, opened the door and ran to the living room.
In the living room, Xiao Wanqing was still sitting quietly on the sofa. She hung her head, not knowing what to think.
The cold incandescent lamp set off Xiao Wanqing's already slender figure even more lonely and frail. Lin Xian's heart twitched violently.
She lifted her heavy steps and walked towards Xiao Wanqing step by step with a solemn expression. Under Xiao Wanqing's gaze, she squatted down in front of her, then raised her head and stared at her.
"Why don't you take a bath?" The woman, before she could hide the sadness and fragility in her eyes, squeezed out a soft smile and asked her softly as if nothing happened.
Lin Xian choked his throat, put his hands on Xiao Wanqing's knees, and said with difficulty: "Why don't you ask me?"
"Ask you what?" Xiao Wanqing lowered her head and smiled sadly.
What she didn't want to say, in fact, she shouldn't ask, right
Xiao Wanqing smiled dazzlingly.
Obviously he lied to her and concealed it from her, but Xiao Wanqing's indifferent and calm appearance made Lin Xian feel inexplicably as if he was the one who was bullied, and his heart ached and annoyed.
"If I don't find out that you know, are you going to be like this, continue to pretend that you don't know and watch me hide you, and then, self-consciously have doubts and suspicions about me, but don't ask me anything..." Lin Xian clenched her fists tightly and couldn't help questioning her in a cold voice.
Xiao Wanqing bit her lip and said nothing. Lin Xian didn't know, sometimes, she was afraid to ask, it would be an answer she didn't want to know.
Xiao Wanqing's silence made Lin Xian feel like he had punched the cotton with his fist. She felt powerless and her emotions began to ferment.
Lin Xian's eye circles began to turn red, as if he had thought of something, and he became more and more wronged: "That day, you told me, thank me, thank me for telling you my emotions frankly, thank me for giving you the opportunity to explain. What about you! You Just like that, you don't want to give me a chance to explain, so you are going to quietly and ruthlessly want to sentence me to death in your heart?"
As she spoke, tears rolled down her eyes uncontrollably. From the day she fell in love with Xiao Wanqing, Xiao Wanqing's inseparable and powerless frustrations that have tortured her hit her layer upon layer, making her choke up: "Xiao Wanqing, how could you deny me so easily, you Didn't know at all...”
You don't know how difficult it is for me to try to get close to you, how cautious I am.
Walking on eggshells.
Seeing her tears and hearing her grievances, Xiao Wanqing's heart was broken into pieces, and her self-blame and guilt came together, mixed with all kinds of flavors. Her eye circles were also a little red, and she lovingly held the girl's face, gently wiped her tears with her fingertips, and sincerely admitted her mistake in a low voice: "Xianxian, I'm sorry, it was my mistake, don't cry."
Lin Xian's words cut her heart as sharply as a knife.
Comparing her heart with her heart, she knew that Lin Xian was also wronged. She taught Lin Xian a lot of truths in a grand manner, but she didn't do it herself.
What she did was not as good as Lin Xian.
She pulled Lin Xian up and sat on her lap with her arms around her. Although the girl was crying, she did not reject her closeness. She leaned obediently into her arms, sobbing on her shoulder.
Xiao Wanqing circled her waist tightly and told her softly: "Xianxian, it's raining at night. I saw that you didn't bring an umbrella, so I didn't feel relieved to pick you up. But, I didn't wait for you, I only waited for your classmate to tell you My, you don’t have elective courses at all this semester.” She confessed to her: “Lin Xian, I’m actually very concerned. So, can you tell me where you went every Wednesday and Thursday night when you didn’t take elective courses? ?”
Lin Xian lay on her neck, her sobbing gradually stopped. She raised her head, with tears still hanging on her eyelashes, bit her lip, and asked her hesitantly in a low voice, "Can you trust me?"
"I can't tell you now, but after a while, you'll definitely know what I'm doing."
Xiao Wanqing approached and gently kissed away the tears on her eyelashes.
Under the gaze of the girl, it was the first time that she was so careless about other things, shook her head inconsiderately, and confessed herself: "No, Lin Xian."
"Lin Xian, in fact, I also have times when I feel uneasy." Her voice was astringent, as if she was extremely embarrassed, but she still said it out, revealing her fragility that shouldn't be shown in front of girls.
Lin Xian was stunned for a moment, a little pleasantly surprised at Xiao Wanqing's fragile self that seldom showed in front of her.
She has always known that her Xiao Xiaowan is actually a little girl who needs to be protected, but she always pretends to be strong in front of her, making herself unable to do anything.
The more vulnerable the person, the stronger the shell of self-protection.
And now, has Aunt Xiao broken her shell and included herself in the shell
Lin Xian blinked his eyes, soft love and warmth gradually floated in his eyes, and he was ecstatic. She bit her lip, sighed lowly, and said honestly, "I'm actually going to be a tutor. Aunt Xiao, I've taken a fancy to something and wanted to buy it very much, but I don't have enough money, so I went to work part-time." Made money."
Unexpectedly, as soon as she finished speaking, Xiao Wanqing's eyes showed some disappointment that was too late to conceal.
Like educating a child, she warned her: "Lin Xian, just tell me what you want to buy. Even if it is really something that exceeds your consumption level, you tell me and we can discuss it. I won't buy it." I blame you. In the future, don't hide it from me because of this kind of thing, okay?"
Xiao Wanqing was really disappointed in her heart. Maybe it's Lin Xian's performance all the time that made her have unreasonable expectations for her, and she forgot that Lin Xian is actually only a half-grown child after all.
Because you want to buy something, you live frugally, work part-time to make money, and lie to others. It's really a child, something he can do.
Xiao Wanqing didn't say harsh words, not even such harsh words as "deception", but it hurt Lin Xian's heart more sharply than saying harsh words.
Lin Xian's body froze for a moment, she raised her head, stared at Xiao Wanqing in disbelief, her eyes turned red again, and her voice turned cold: "Do you think that I am vain, or have a childish temper, and pursue my abilities for my own selfish desires? Do you go to work to make money for extravagant consumption, and then cheat you desperately?"
"Is that how you miss me?" Her heart seemed to be pierced by thousands of arrows, and it hurt like she was about to die. When she first started tutoring, she was mischievously tossed by students, her parents beat around the bush and reprimanded her for failing to make up lessons, and all the grievances of being frightened by a drunk while riding a bicycle at night all hit her in an instant, making her nose sour and her heart cold.
For a split second, she felt as if it wasn't worth it.
No matter what she did, in Xiao Wanqing's eyes, she might just be an ignorant child.
She sniffled, struggling to ask Xiao Wanqing to let her go, heartbroken to push away this woman who both loved and annoyed her.
However, Xiao Wanqing seemed to react suddenly the second she broke free, and immediately hugged her even tighter. Her voice was low and soft, with a little apology: "You want to buy it for me, don't you?"
The girl continued to push her, and said arrogantly with a crying voice: "No, no, no, who wants to buy it for you!" Anyone could hear the angry words.
She heard Xiao Wanqing laughing softly and pleasantly next to her ear. Then, the warm and delicate kisses fell bit by bit on her ears, cheeks, lips, and finally, on her lips and her heart.
Lin Xian tasted the saltiness of her own tears.
Soon, only the sweetness between Xiao Wanqing's lips and teeth remained in her world.
Lin Xian felt that she was about to suffocate, her heart was beating like it was about to jump out of her chest, she was dizzy, and her whole body was weak, but she was reluctant to back away at all.
After a long time, she hooked Xiao Wanqing's neck, calming down her panting softly, and heard Xiao Wanqing's hoarse and gentle voice sticking to her ears, with a little provocative smile, she said tenderly: "Learn Yet?"
Ah, shame and indignation!