I was uneasy when I came here, but at least my heart was still alive. When she left, Xiao Wanqing was heavy and desperate, and her innocent resurrection heart seemed to be half crushed to death by reality again.
When those words that she had thought about countless times when she tortured herself in her heart were truly uttered cruelly from the people close to her, she realized that it turned out that it was different after all.
It seems that it hurts more.
Every word and every sentence, if there is substance.
This time, even Wen Tong, who has always supported her, did not stand by her side, unable to understand, resist, or even accept herself.
Xiao Wanqing bit her lip and drove on the brightly lit avenue, but she felt that she had fallen into a dark tunnel again.
Since her parents passed away, her life was like sailing into a boundless darkness, with no direction and no end. She follows time mechanically like a walking dead, muddling along, waiting for a certain day to end.
The arrival of Lin Xian is like a little bit of flame that she suddenly found in this darkness, lingering around her. After a long period of darkness, it became the most dazzling light in her life.
The light was very weak, unable to illuminate her way forward, but illuminated her life.
There was a bloody smell coming out of her mouth, and Xiao Wanqing belatedly let go of her bloody lips that were tortured by herself, feeling the physical pain coming in a little bit, and she seemed to have a little bit of relief psychologically.
If Zhou Qin and the others can feel relieved if her reputation is ruined, her relatives are betrayed, and she is alone, then she is willing to spend the rest of her life in misery to atone for her sins.
Lin Xian lent her the short-term warmth, maybe he could accompany her through the long winter of life.
This is the price she should pay.
But what about delusions? What should I do if I feel ashamed and guilty, but at the same time, I start to hope that I can embrace the light for a long time
There seemed to be a demon living in her heart, advancing every inch, eating away at her reason and sense of shame step by step.
When she said that she didn't want to be with Lin Xian for a long time, the heart-piercing pain made her feel the greed that she had unknowingly born.
It seems that even I can't accept myself.
Xiao Wanqing didn't know how she drove all the way back to the community and into the parking lot.
Sitting blankly in the parking lot for a long time, Xiao Wanqing looked at the time, finally took out the small mirror, adjusted her mood, tidied up her appearance, and smiled as usual in the mirror. Then, as if nothing had happened, she got out of the car and went home.
But the footsteps are no longer as brisk as before.
Back home, Lin Xian did as she expected, not asleep yet, waiting for her return in the living room. Hearing the sound of the door opening, Lin Xian couldn't wait to put down the book in his hand, and came to the porch in three steps at a time, with his eyes fixed on Xiao Wanqing, carefully examining his lover's expression.
When leaving, Xiao Wanqing's unconscious heaviness made her uneasy.
She was a little afraid that Wen Tong would confess his love suddenly.
She helped take Xiao Wanqing's bag, and asked her casually: "What is Aunt Wen asking you to do in such a hurry?"
Xiao Wanqing bent down to untie the straps of her sandals, squeezed her eyelids, and answered her naturally: "She has some questions, and she wants to ask me to answer." After changing her shoes, she approached Lin Xian and touched her Ear, showing a gentle smile to her, comforting her: "It's nothing serious."
Obviously there is no need to say more, and Lin Xian can't force it. Seeing Xiao Wanqing's soft brows and normal demeanor, she was skeptical, but in the end she breathed a sigh of relief.
Xiao Wanqing has to go to work tomorrow, wash up and tidy up, and it's almost time to rest.
Lin Xian quickly took a shower in her bathroom, put on her suspender pajamas, and brushed her hair in the mirror. She pursed her lips, let out a breath, and made up her mind to put into action what was on her mind.
When she came to Xiao Wanqing's room with the pillow in her arms, there was only the bedside lamp in Xiao Wanqing's room, and the bathroom door was still closed, but there was no sound of water flowing.
Lin Xian tiptoed to Xiao Wanqing's big bed, hugged the pillow in his arms, lifted the air-conditioning quilt, and rolled himself in. The moment the skin was in close contact with Xiao Wanqing's quilt cover, Lin Xian sighed in satisfaction.
As gentle and soft as Xiao Panpan. Like being hugged by her.
I don't know how long it took, when Lin Xian almost fell asleep comfortably, the bathroom door finally opened with a "click", followed by the familiar sound of Xiao Wanqing's light footsteps. Lin Xian estimated the time when Xiao Wanqing would come to the bed, poked his head out from under the quilt, opened a pair of big watery eyes, and stared at Xiao Wanqing affectionately.
Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian said good night and went back to the room, the smile that they could barely hold up disappeared without a trace in an instant, and the heart was heavy. She washed in the bathroom in a daze until her fingers were wrinkled, and then she belatedly turned off the shower, wiped her body and put on her clothes.
When she returned to the bedroom, she was still distracted and didn't notice the bulge on her bed for the first time.
As soon as she knelt on the bed with one leg, she saw the quilt move from the corner of the eye, and her heart shuddered involuntarily, and she was frightened. In the next second, the girl's black and clear eyes with a smile slammed into her eyes.
With just one glance, the cloud in her heart was dispelled. Xiao Wanqing looked at Lin Xian, and her heart began to soften.
"Xiao Xiaowan, compared to yesterday's hotel quilt, the quilt in my room is so thin. It's so cold when I sleep." The girl hugged the quilt, covering half of her face, and acted coquettishly. The reason is so lame that it sounds fake. But the reason is not important, what is important is Xiao Wanqing's attitude.
Xiao Wanqing looked at Lin Xian's bright and charming face showing a pitiful expression that didn't match her temperament, the corners of her lips could not help but have a clear and shallow arc, and there was a little light in her dark and silent eyes.
She lifted up the quilt and went to bed, and said in a puzzled way: "Then let me change to a thicker one for you?"
When Lin Xian saw Xiao Wanqing went to bed and asked her that sentence, he knew that she had acquiesced to his stay, and his heart was full of joy. Xiao Panpan acquiesced in invading her private territory without permission.
She got out of the quilt completely, put her arms around the slender waist of Xiao Wanqing who was half sitting, and said with a smile: "Don't change, you won't be cold if you hug me."
She heard Xiao Wanqing chuckle, then, she raised her hand to turn off the light, lay down, and put her hand on her waist sideways.
Lin Xian got into her arms thoroughly, buried it in her neck, and asked tentatively with deep meaning: "Xiao Xiaowan, do you still have another pillowcase?"
"kindness."
Xiao Wan Qingguang 1's naked arms were intimately intertwined with Lin Xian's delicate forearm skin, neither Lin Xian nor she was wearing underwear. Xiao Wanqing remembered belatedly.
"Can you cover my pillow?" The girl raised her head, licked her chin, and gazed at her tenderly under the moonlight.
The girl's warm tongue slipped softly across her chin, and Xiao Wanqing's heart beat like a drum for a moment. The next moment, there seemed to be a thunder in her ears, and Wen Tong's cold words echoed in her mind: "... take care of her on the bed."
Xiao Wanqing suddenly turned pale.
Lin Xian caught it keenly, his heart sank, and his eyes darkened accordingly.
"It's okay if it's not easy to find." The girl lowered her head and stepped down the steps for both sides sensibly.
For a moment, Xiao Wanqing saw the girl's obviously depressed mood, hugged the girl's slightly stiff body, and felt pain in her heart like being pricked by a needle. She wanted to promise her, she wanted to tell her that she was just as eager to share her bed with her, to be in her arms.
But in the end, she was afraid. She just patted the girl on the back guiltily, kissed her forehead covered by the broken hair, and coaxed her: "Go to sleep, good night."
The girl answered her sullenly: "Good night." It was obviously sad.
Was she wrong in her estimation? In fact, has she still not fully entered Aunt Xiao's heart? Xiao Wanqing actually pampered her very much, this was one of the few times she was rejected after dating. Lin Xian was a little glassy for a while, and felt so sad that he wanted to cry.
But she was too attached to this embrace, Lin Xian wanted to get close no matter what. She held back her sadness, cheered herself up and encouraged herself, because she was impatient, and she wanted to give Xiao Panpan some more time.
The sky gradually cleared up, Xiao Wanqing woke up as usual, she lovingly pecked Lin Xian's little face, then opened the quilt and got out of bed.
After she washed and opened the door, she heard the noise in the living room, Xiao Wanqing was a little strange. Just two steps away, Zhou Qin came from an unknown direction, came up angrily, and slapped her hard, Xiao Wanqing covered her face in disbelief. Before she could react, the always loving teacher stood by her side at some point, spurned her with a look of disgust she had never seen before, and said, "How could I bring out a shameless student like you."
Then, the scene began to change rapidly, and she was in her home in the North District all of a sudden, her father's eyes were about to burst, and he raised his hand high, but it didn't land on her face in the end, but pointed to the door: "Get out, I'm Xiao Shu There is no daughter like you."
All of a sudden, it was on campus again, and the classmates were pointing around her, and there was a taunting sound from some direction: "Have you read the gossip on bbs? Everyone guessed that the gay goddess is Xiao Wanqing, I was scared to death, I went to the countryside to do The researcher also shared a room with her, watching a movie at night when she had nothing to do, and she seemed to touch my hand. God, now I feel sick when I think about it."
Soon, the scene changed again. In the ice and snow, Lin Xian, who seemed to have grown up a little bit, followed Zhou Qin step by step and disappeared before her eyes. A car drove out, and her parents were sitting in it. Mom hugged her favorite shrimp dumpling into her arms, and his dad also showed a slight smile. Suddenly, a car rushed towards her parents' car fiercely.
She screamed heart-piercingly: "No!" But it seemed that her throat was pinched, and no sound came out.
The blood gradually stained the entire snow field red.
Scarlet...a piece of scarlet...in the whole scarlet, she was the only one who couldn't escape, couldn't break free. Blood was poured into her mouth and nose. In my ears, there are endless accusations: "seduce, abduct, pervert, shameless..."
"No, I'm not..." She desperately denied it over and over again in her heart like suffocating.
A pair of slender and powerful hands grabbed her wrists, like a sharp knife, piercing the boundless scarlet, allowing her to see the light and breathe again.
"No, you're not. Don't be afraid, Xiao Panpan, don't be afraid, I'm here." A gentle voice comforted her over and over again in her ears.
She wanted to see who it was, and tried hard to turn around and see the source of the voice clearly. The next second, she woke up, and there was darkness in front of her eyes.
The corners of the eyes are wet.
A pair of gentle hands caressed her cheeks.
"Don't be afraid, it's just a nightmare, and I'm here." The soft and distressed voice was still soothing.
Xiao Wanqing turned her head to the side, and saw Lin Xian frowning and looking at herself with concern. She is not as unfeeling as she grew up in the dream, Xiao Wanqing can see that in her loving eyes, the reflection is full of herself, as if there are stars twinkling.
"Lin Xian, hug me, you hug me." In the dark night, she suddenly burst into sobs weakly.