In countless long and lonely nights, she dreamed of reuniting with her beloved girl many times like a dream. She thought that the girl might reach out and hug her tightly to tell her the heartfelt feelings over the years, and she also thought that the girl might cry and reprimand her for leaving without saying goodbye, and even more thought that she might be hiding in the dark in embarrassment, Watching Lin Xian walking happily with others without realizing it from afar.
She thought that if they knew the truth, whether they were happy or sad, they would probably have red eyes and emotional turmoil at the moment they met.
However, up to now, the fact is that the girl is unexpectedly calm, her eyes are gloomy, and on her mature and beautiful face, it is her calmness that cannot be clearly seen.
There was no joy or sadness, as if their reunion was just a chance meeting on the street of old acquaintances who had been away for a long time.
Xiao Wanqing's heart was agitated with mixed feelings, and in the girl's calm eyes, she suddenly became calm and dead, and began to feel uneasy and inexplicably panicked.
"Xianxian..." She bit her lips, and finally called out the name she had murmured countless times when she woke up from a dream, her voice was so astringent that it seemed to be squeezed out of her chest.
Lin Xian stared greedily at the woman in front of him that he had been dreaming of, and subconsciously clenched his hand hanging by his side into a fist. He almost crushed his back molars, and then restrained himself from ecstasy. After feeling wronged and distressed, he thought The urge to cry and the desire to reach out and hold her tightly in his arms.
Xiao Panpan didn't take good care of herself, she lost weight.
During the days and nights when she traveled through mountains and rivers and searched for Xiao Wanqing with her lonely courage, she blamed herself countless times for failing to protect Xiao Panpan, and blamed herself for feeling sorry for her poor lover. What kind of day is it, but I can't help but feel the grievance and despair of failing to expect again and again, resent Xiao Panpan once again coaxing her like a child, leaving cruelly and resolutely, and even doubting in the pain of dying, Xiao Panpan can't help it. Did you blame her for coming to look for her, did you really forget her...
Is it true, don't want her...
After years of separation, my heart remains the same. Is your heart as good as mine? Lin Xian used to be sure, but now, he is hesitant.
The wind and rain were raging outside the umbrella, but the two beautiful women under the umbrella seemed to be fixed by something, standing motionless in the pouring rain, looking at each other affectionately, choking silently. Through the window, the good-for-nothing doorman kept turning his eyes on Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian, and his intention to inquire about gossip was obvious.
Lin Xian noticed it alertly, looked past Xiao Wanqing, and cast a cold glance at the guard. The guard looked away in embarrassment for a moment, and lowered his head pretending to read a newspaper.
She withdrew her gaze, swallowed twice with difficulty, lubricated her throat that was too dry because she wanted to cry, and then made a steady gesture that an adult should have, and reminded in a low voice: "It's not convenient to talk here. "
Xiao Wanqing woke up like a dream, and looked down, seeing Lin Xian's shoulders that were wet by the wind and rain. She lost her usual calmness, and instinctively stretched out her umbrella in a panic to help her cover, but Lin Xian quickly raised her hand to hold the handle of the umbrella, stopping her movement.
"No, there's no need. My back is completely wet, and my shoes are full of water." Lin Xian said lightly. As soon as the words fell, she raised her hand and rubbed her nose, as if holding back a sneeze.
Xiao Wanqing was suddenly nervous. She looked at the girl whose face was vaguely familiar to her, but whose expression was so cold and calm that she was unfamiliar. The corners of her clothes were twisted into twists, and she said in a deliberate tone, "I... live nearby, do you mind going over and changing clothes?" Do you want to hide from the rain?" She was afraid that Lin Xian would catch a cold, but she was also afraid that when she grew up, Lin Xian would face her calmly and resist her excessive intimacy.
But her polite tone made Lin Xian feel as if she had been stabbed by something. She lowered her head and took a deep look at Xiao Wanqing, seeing the genuine concern in her eyes, she secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
Xiao Panpan still felt sorry for her. There was an imperceptible smile in her eyes. She lowered her eyelids and pretended to be polite: "Okay, I'll trouble you."
The girl's polite and rude reply hit Xiao Wanqing's heart all of a sudden, making her eyes ache with discomfort and grievance.
Did the panic that she should have been prepared long ago, but she still had a chance to get away with it finally come true? See you again, has Xianxian already found out, Xiao Wanqing, in fact, it's just mediocre.
They are like two clumsy snails, carrying a heavy burden called time and distance, with mixed feelings in their hearts, with a little expectation and apprehension, jerky and strangeness, they stretch out their tentacles to carefully test each other.
On the way to Xiao Wanqing's residence, they each cling to an umbrella, leaving a distance between two umbrellas in parallel, walking neither far nor near, as if they were somewhat alienated after a long-lost reunion.
Xianxian, this time, are you here to bid farewell to the past
Xiao Wanqing walked beside Lin Xian nervously, and couldn't help but stare at the girl's tall and handsome silhouette, thinking deeply. With such panic thoughts, she seemed to be pulled out of all her strength for a moment, unconsciously slowed down, and lost her mind.
Lin Xian seemed to be walking half a step faster beside her, but in fact he had been paying close attention to Xiao Wanqing from the corner of his eye. Seeing Xiao Wanqing slow down, Lin Xian's heart sank, and he also slowed down, turning his head slightly to look at her.
The woman stood beside a low and flat stagnant water. Behind what she thought Lin Xian couldn't see, she took off her calm disguise and looked at her frankly with nostalgia and sorrow.
There was a car coming from behind with its horn honking, but Xiao Wanqing didn't notice it.
The tire is about to run over the standing water, splashing a puddle of sewage...
Lin Xian didn't have time to think about it, and forgot all the pretentious maturity and reserve. While nervously pulling Xiao Wanqing into his arms to protect her, he quickly turned around and blocked the splashing water with his body.
The two umbrellas fell with their overlapping movements, and the umbrella bodies collided, one high and the other low, and they fit together intimately.
The rain slammed into the umbrella surface quickly and violently, one after another, and the sound of their violently beating hearts was repeated one after another.
Xiao Wanqing was caught off guard and ran into Lin Xian's warm arms. The familiar cold fragrance from the girl's body instantly filled her nostrils, like a gift from a fate that had been harsh on her for a long time. She reached out and gently grabbed the girl's skirt, and with the girl's support, she slowly stood up straight. She looked up at Lin Xian's soft and smooth jaw line in a daze, all the way up until she looked into the girl's clear and quiet black eyes.
My heart beat like a drum.
Lin Xian embraced his lost and recovered treasure, feeling his incomplete life for many years, and finally felt complete and fulfilled again. She looked down at Xiao Wanqing, her eyes could not hide the watery tenderness. She raised her hand, caressed Xiao Wanqing's cold and soft cheek affectionately and gently, and wiped away the raindrops that did not dare to wink on Xiao Wanqing's cheeks, and Xiao Wanqing's familiar gentle smile was vaguely on her lips.
But it was too late for Xiao Wanqing to make a detailed distinction. Lin Xian noticed the attention of passers-by, let go of his hand, took a step to the side, walked to the outside of the road, turned his umbrella to block Xiao Wanqing, and continued walking in silence.
In the wind and rain, without the warm embrace of protection, the wind poured in unscrupulously from both sides of Xiao Wanqing's open windbreaker. Xiao Wanqing stood where she was, as if she was not willing to withdraw from the brief tenderness that Lin Xian showed just now. Looking at Lin Xian's back, she unconsciously gathered up her coat, and fragility and helplessness flashed across her soft face.
But looking at Lin Xian's drenched back and trouser legs splashed by sewage, she still calmed down and followed Lin Xian quickly, leading her half a step ahead, biting her lips and thanking softly: "Thank you …”
Lin Xian paused slightly, his brows gradually tightened.
As expected, Xiao Wanqing lived not far from the school. Lin Xian walked all the way, carefully looking at the surrounding environment all the way, and wrote down the route from the school in his mind.
She quietly followed behind Xiao Wanqing, and she no longer looked like a lively and cheerful girl.
Xiao Wanqing took out clean guest slippers from the shoe cabinet, greeted her into the living room, and hurried into the bedroom to find a change of clothes for her. Lin Xian stood in the living room, scanning everything in the room calmly.
It was obvious that only one person lived in the house, and the decoration was Xiao Panpan's usual simple style. The furnishings were as empty, cold and unpopular as before she went to Xiao Panpan's house that year. Lin Xian thought of Xiao Wanqing's loneliness and helplessness in the past few years, his heart ached, and tears began to roll in his eyes.
She scanned the objects placed on the cabinets on both sides of the TV, and the pillows on the sofa, and her eyes suddenly locked on the books placed on the coffee table in front of the sofa. On the spine of the topmost book, the five characters "Jiu Pan Jun Gui Zhu" are conspicuously engraved.
Lin Xian's throat twitched uncontrollably, and the tears that had been held back for a long time slid down his cheeks in an instant.
Xiao Panpan has not forgotten her, Xiao Panpan has been paying attention to her.
But Xiao Panpan is like this, looking at her painstakingly looking for her, desperate and helpless
This hard-hearted bad guy, bad guy, big fool.
"Xianxian, if you don't dislike it, you can change them..." A woman's hurried footsteps sounded not far away, Lin Xian reached out and quickly wiped away her tears, calmed down her emotions, turned around and took Xiao Wanqing calmly. The clothes handed over, followed her instructions, and went to the bathroom to change the soaked clothes.
The hot tea created curling white mist in the cold air, Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing sat opposite each other at the two ends of the long coffee table. Xiao Wanqing gazed tenderly at her hazy lover with water-like eyes, and seemed to have a thousand words in her heart that she wanted to confide, but she lost her words when she opened her mouth.
Xianxian seems to have changed, more calm, but also more silent. Five years passed between them, as if separating them into two worlds. There are too many things I want to say, I don't know where to start, and in the end, the two became silent, with nothing to say.
"Chen Zhi got married and gave birth to a cute little girl. I became a godmother. Momo got married a few months ago, and the child will be born in August next year." Finally, Lin Xian spoke softly, as if she hadn't seen her for many years. Ordinary friends I met, casually talked about the years that the other party hadn't participated in these years.
Lin Xian didn't ask her why she lied to her back then, or why she left; Xiao Wanqing didn't ask her why she came today, or when she left.
The topic of being neither salty nor bland, and concealing each other's sincerity came to an end suddenly, followed by a long and frustrating silence.
Lin Xian lowered his head and held the teacup, silent for a while, finally raised his head to stare at Xiao Wanqing, and confided the sentence Xiao Wanqing had been afraid of for a long time: "Xiao Panpan, I'm here to bid farewell to the past."
"I thought, start over."
The girl stared at her, her tone was flat, but loud, it exploded in Xiao Wanqing's ears like a thunderbolt, shaking her mind into chaos and splitting her mind.
She let go of the hand holding the teacup, placed it under the coffee table, and clenched it into a trembling fist, with her nails digging deep into her palm, before she struggled to regain her sanity.
It should have been expected, shouldn't it? She bit her lower lip, looked at her grown up and outstanding lover, and comforted herself sadly in her heart.
Xiao Wanqing didn't know if the light smile she pulled out was calm enough, natural enough, and whether it looked like a qualified predecessor or an elder. She opened her lips and replied as calmly as possible: "It's good, the past... It's time to pass. I..."
She obviously should continue to comfort and bless her beloved girl decently, but when she opened her mouth, her heart was sore, her mind went blank, and she was unable to say any words against her will.
She stood up in a panic, not caring what Lin Xian would think or look at her, with the last restraint, she excused hoarsely: "It's getting late, you... stay for a meal, I'll go first Ready." After that, she lowered her head in a gaffe, walked staggeringly, and hid in the kitchen.
Xiao Wanqing lowered her head, hunched her back, and stood in front of the cooking table in a daze, covering her face with her hands in embarrassment, tears trickling down her fingers.
We should be happy for Xianxian, she has finally come out, can finally avoid the pointing and pointing of the world, and can finally embrace a broader future, isn't it? Xiao Wanqing, you shouldn't cry, be nostalgic, or be selfish.
She warned and persuaded herself over and over again in her heart, but her heart was still piercingly painful like being stabbed by a knife; the tears still fell from her eye sockets uncontrollably like a gate that couldn't be closed.
A pair of slender and powerful long arms embraced her from behind, wrapping tightly around her waist. The warm breath slowly poured into Xiao Wanqing's ear: "Xiao Panpan, why are you hiding and crying?"
Xiao Wanqing fell into the girl's arms and froze. She lowered her head, and in the girl's words, she was uncontrollably embarrassed, crying more and more aggrieved, but she still suppressed her crying, and only the sound of heavy breathing could be heard in the air.
Lin Xian watched Xiao Wanqing cry, her whole heart felt like it was trembling with pain, tears rolled down her cheeks, and wet the hair on Xiao Wanqing's neck. She forcefully turned around Xiao Wanqing's crying body who was unable to resist, held Xiao Wanqing's tear-stained cheeks with both hands, and asked her tenderly in a soft voice, "Xiao Panpan, don't lie to yourself, and don't lie to me anymore." Me, tell me, what do you want?"
Xiao Wanqing looked at Lin Xian with teary eyes, couldn't stop her tears, almost breathless with depression, but still held back without saying a word.
"Tell me, Xiao Panpan. Lin Xian has grown up, she is no longer a child, and she can afford the future you deserve." Lin Xian's voice became softer and more persuasive.
When Xiao Wanqing heard the words, her expression seemed to be moved, and her tearful eyes stared at Lin Xian without blinking.
Lin Xian lowered his head and kissed the salty tears in the corner of her eyes, and there was a cry of grievance in his voice: "I'm sorry, Xiao Panpan, I didn't protect you well, I'm sorry, I made you wronged. But, Xiao Panpan, you really Are you willing to forget the past and start over?"
Xiao Wanqing's chest rose and fell rapidly, and she bit her lip so hard that she didn't let out a sound. She tasted the blood in her mouth, and she burst into tears.
"Are you really willing to let me love someone else?"
"Are you really willing to let me be with someone else?"
A sentence is more hoarse than a sentence, a sentence is more difficult than a sentence, and a sentence is more desperate than a sentence. Xiao Wanqing's heart trembled in Lin Xian's questioning voice, and her rationality began to collapse in her tears.
"You really, don't you want me?" Lin Xian kissed her lover's soft lips, licking gently and patiently to absorb her warmth.
Like a string stretched to the extreme, Xiao Wanqing finally collapsed in the girl's tenderness.
She opened her lips to welcome the plunder of the girl's lips and tongue. In the lingering intertwining of lips and teeth, she sobbed and cried, like a child who has been wronged and found support, and wants to cry out the injustice and suffering of these years.
She put her arms around Lin Xian's neck, pressed against her cheek, cried in her ear, breathless, calling her name intermittently: "Xianxian... Xianxian..."
Lin Xian burst into tears, and hugged her tightly, his hands tightened more and more tightly, as if he wanted to embed her into his body.
"I'm here, I'm here." With all the tenderness.
"I'm not, Lin Xian, I don't want to, I don't want to..." Xiao Wanqing finally choked up and poured out the deepest love in her heart.
She cried, "Don't love others, don't go away..."
"Lin Xian, only love me, love me, okay..." He cried blood.
"I only love you. Xiao Panpan, Lin Xian only loves you. I only want you, only with you, and start over again." Lin Xian promised heartily. She couldn't hold back her full of love along the line of Xiao Wanqing's profile, all the way down, kissed her snow-white and slender neck, kissed her thin and sexy clavicle, reached out to hug her, and sat on the cooking table...
The clothes slipped to the ground one by one amidst the sound of rubbing, and Xiao Wanqing's smooth back touched the cold wall, and she couldn't help shivering, grabbing her lapel and softly whispering: "Cool..."
Lin Xian narrowed her moist bright eyes, his eyes were full of love, while licking and kissing her, he picked her up and walked towards the room.
The heavy rain was still falling outside the window. As night fell, in the dark bedroom, Little Teddy was kicked off the bed and sat alone on the floor.
Confused by confusion, love and confusion, Xiao Wanqing felt the hideous scar on Lin Xian's rib caused by the car accident, sobered up instantly, and asked in panic.
Lin Xian put his hand on the back of her hand, softly comforting her: "It's all over..."
Xiao Wanqing couldn't feel at ease at all, her eyes were red and she refused her, she must ask the truth before she would continue.
Lin Xian said softly, "It's my punishment for not protecting you well, and it's also my medal for loving you."
She slyly kissed away Xiao Wanqing's tears of distressing her, and teased her to gradually become emotional, forgetting to question and cry.
The room is filled with vaguely ups and downs, lingering crooning and the woman's soft and provocative request after being emotionally crying: "Xianxian... want me..."
Like, wanting to feel that Lin Xian really reappeared in her life in the ultimate satisfaction time after time, filling her weeping blood hole that has been incomplete day and night for these years.
…
As the night deepened, the rain gradually subsided, and the noises in the house gradually subsided. Lin Xian was as considerate as he was many years ago, and gently wiped Xiao Wanqing who was tired and powerless. After finishing everything, she returned to the bed, lay down facing Xiao Wanqing sideways, couldn't help but kissed her lover's red and swollen lips again, stretched out her hand to brush her sweaty forehead hair, and asked her softly: "Xiao Pan Hope, why don't you come back and find me?"
Xiao Wanqing's eyes seemed to be full of autumn water, she raised her extremely tired hand, stroked Lin Xian's cheek, and said frankly in a hoarse voice: "Xianxian, I don't know, is it because of your obsession, or is it because you want to find me? Because of love… "
Lin Xian took Xiao Wanqing's hand and put it on his heart. His eyes were serious and aggrieved and said, "Xiao Panpan, can't you feel it? Lin Xian's place, from the beginning to the end, will only speed up for you."
Xiao Wanqing's heart felt warm and astringent for an instant, she bit her lips, and murmured: "But, Lin Xian, I am thirty-nine years old." The implication is self-evident.
Lin Xian smiled wryly, and suddenly got up on his elbows, turned on the bedside lamp, and looked down at Xiao Wanqing: "Xiao Panpan, I will never catch up with your age, but there will be days without you, my old age, maybe Can."
She lifted her hair, and the roots of the hair hidden under the black hair were actually thin and dense silver white. "Look, if I didn't dye my hair, I'd probably have more gray hair than you."
Xiao Wanqing was about to stand up in panic, Lin Xian was afraid that her waist would still be weak, so he stretched out his hand to support her back. Xiao Wanqing stretched out her hand to brush Lin Xian's long hair in disbelief, wept bitterly and blamed herself, and choked up, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry Xianxian... I'm sorry..."
Lin Xian gently wiped her pearly tears with his thumb, coaxing her softly: "Don't cry, Panpan. It's actually pretty good. Do you know? I have been thinking for a long time, if I could Growing up overnight and growing old overnight can make you less concerned about our age and less disturbed. You see, I have now fulfilled my wish."
After finishing speaking, she suddenly chuckled, with the mischievous and charming expression on her face, she fell into Xiao Wanqing's neck, and said coquettishly: "Aunt Xiao, do you despise her? I don't agree, you can't do this To people."
Xiao Wanqing was still distressed and moved, caught off guard, and laughed out of tears by her sweet tone.
"Crying and laughing, shame on you." Lin Xian raised his head, teasing with crooked eyebrows, Xiao Wanqing patted her shoulder lightly in anger, Lin Xian held her lightly, bowed his head and kissed her.
She gently put Xiao Wanqing to lie down again, carefully tucked her back, gave her a bite on the forehead, and thoughtfully said: "Go to sleep for a while, don't go to bed on an empty stomach, I'll go to the kitchen and cook for you Congee, drink some later and then we can sleep well."
She was naked and freely put on the nightgown Xiao Wanqing put on the hanger beside her, revealing a pair of straight and beautiful long legs, flicked her somewhat messy bangs, and walked towards the door. A moment before going out, she turned her head nostalgicly, and showed a bright smile towards Xiao Wanqing who had been watching her.
Under the dim warm light, Xiao Wanqing looked at the girl's mature and beautiful smiling face, but it seemed that she had returned to the hotel where she was on a business trip in a foreign country that year. The girl came all the way to visit her, and she was cooking porridge under the golden morning light. She turned her head and smiled brightly at her, "Xiao Xiaowan, the porridge looks pretty good."
Xiao Wanqing's eyes were moist again, and she couldn't help but lifted the quilt and got out of bed, walking softly, faster and faster, like that year, she reached out and hugged the girl's waist tightly from behind, and pressed her cheek against her. cheek. .
She whispered in her ear: "Lin Xian, I'm sorry, thank you."
"I love you."
The girl turned her head, smiled and kissed her: "Xiao Panpan, I love you more than I love you."
The long river called time, vaguely lying between them, is still flowing quietly. But they waded barefoot, looked at each other, turned towards each other, and met in the middle of the water.
They stepped in the mud, embraced and comforted each other in the past, and embraced and accepted each other in the present, letting the water wash away.
The long river seems to be drying up gradually, and the ditches are gradually melting...
Outside, the wind and rain are over.