The night was as cold as water, and the pattering rain outside the window stopped silently at some point.
Xiao Wanqing has been absent-minded for a long time since Lin Xian fell asleep with her eyes open, looking at the void.
She turned sideways, and looked tenderly at the girl who was sleeping peacefully beside her through the silent night. Lin Xian stretched his brows and eyes, as if he was having a wonderful dream, with a soft smile on his lips, breathing steadily, and sleeping soundly.
Xiao Wanqing stretched out her hand, wanting to gently caress the girl's heroic and delicate crescent eyebrows, wanting to trace the girl's delicate and pretty facial features with five fingers, but the extended hand, in the end, was about to touch the girl's delicate face At that time, slowly, he gathered his five fingers together and clenched into a fist.
For a moment, looking at the girl's innocent and moving sleeping face, she felt a pain in her heart. She vaguely thought that she was suffering from skin hunger, and wanted to hug Lin Xian crazily, hold her tightly, and even rub her into her body fiercely.
It seems that Lin Xian is a part of her body that has been lost for a long time and has been recovered for a long time. Only by embracing her and possessing her can she relieve her restlessness and emptiness, and make her life complete and revived. It was a kind of desire that spurted blood but could not be relieved. Desire and reason were pulling, restraint and indulgence were at war, a desire that was close at hand but could not be realized, which made her throat choked and her eyes moist.
She closed her eyes and seemed to be able to see that Zhou Qin was poking her back and scolding her with an expression of extreme disgust, Xiao Wanqing, you are shameless! It was I who was blind.
It was Lin Xian who regretted it many years later. Facing her getting older, she accused her with disgust and tired eyes. Xiao Wanqing, you seduced me back then, and I hate you.
Xiao Wanqing asked herself, Lin Xian is still young and ignorant, are you ignorant too
When you were young, who hadn't restlessly admired and admired a person who was regarded as a god or goddess because of the addition of filters through the hormones that had nowhere to vent. Many years later, after seeing a wider world, in retrospect, no one has ever realized that the person who was once so glamorous in memory has faded away, and is just so ordinary.
Just like, in high school, many boys admired their mature Chinese teacher in their thirties, and they fought for each other to show their courtesy, but the teacher sensibly ignored their impulse with tolerant and clear eyes. Many years later, when they reunited with classmates, they had successful careers, were in full bloom, and had drunk three rounds. When they were drunk, they talked about meeting a teacher by chance, but they were just casually regretting.
With a young and beautiful girlfriend in his arms, who remembers chasing and secretly falling in love with a middle-aged woman so passionately and sincerely when he was young
Young love is as unpredictable as the wind.
When blowing and flirting, it is warm and affectionate, and when it floats away, it is heartless and cold.
Shaking, Xiao Wanqing turned around with difficulty, turned her back to Lin Xian, hugged herself with both hands tremblingly, gritted her teeth, and told herself, no.
She is an adult, she has a responsibility to Lin Xian.
She couldn't condone the girl's momentary confusion or even help the abuser when the girl was still naive. She couldn't bear, couldn't bear the accusations and resentment when she regretted it in the future.
In Lin Xian's long life full of infinite possibilities, like Zhou Qin, she can only be a guide, not a fellow traveler. They are elders, and their responsibility and obligation is to guide Lin Xian from going astray until they hand Lin Xian over to someone who can walk along the way.
Do your part and fulfill your responsibilities.
Xiao Wanqing carved these eight big characters in her heart, word by word.
Insomnia until dawn.
The next day, when Lin Xian woke up, it was not yet dawn, but Xiao Wanqing was no longer in bed. Lin Xianji was concerned about his transgressive behavior last night, touched his lips with his hand, reminiscing about the softness tasted by the tip of his tongue, his heartbeat accelerated suddenly, and his heart was sweet and flustered.
Aunt Xiao, didn't you notice it? Why, it's gone so early.
She jumped out of bed anxiously, and ran to the bathroom, but Xiao Wanqing was not there. The next second, she turned to the door and ran to the kitchen.
The crisp sound of chopsticks colliding with porcelain bowls came from the kitchen. In the twilight of morning, Xiao Wanqing turned her head and smiled at her, as gentle and peaceful as ever: "Xianxian got up so early today."
Lin Xian looked her up and down suspiciously, Xiao Wanqing turned around and continued to move without knowing it, and asked her: "Have you washed your face and brushed your teeth? The food is not ready yet."
Lin Xian gradually let go of his heart.
Aunt Xiao probably doesn't know yet.
Just like being more timid when you are close to the nostalgia, the courage that Lin Xian used to be proud of and thought he would go forward gradually disappeared under Xiao Wanqing's silent resistance. Xu Xuyouzhi's plan should have reached the final breakthrough stage, but Lin Xian has no confidence and determination. Taking advantage of Xiao Wanqing's distraught state of mind, he made a big effort to put it to death and survive.
After all, she was still young, and she was greedy for the warmth and affection she had with Xiao Wanqing now, and was afraid of sudden rejection and sudden change. She numbs herself, there is still some time before the deadline she set for herself, and the date of confession she originally set, so let's hold on. Maybe, like now, if she spends more time with her ambiguously and intimately, she will be more prepared to confess, and if she treats Aunt Xiao better, and makes Aunt Xiao like her more, then she will be able to add some chips to herself.
She didn't know that Xiao Wanqing gradually became more calm and rational when she took it lightly and did not step up her pace.
On Thursday night, when Lin Xian returned home from her part-time job as a tutor, Xiao Wanqing waited for her return on the sofa in the living room as usual. Only this time, until Lin Xian sat down next to Xiao Wanqing, Xiao Wanqing never urged her to take a bath in order to rest earlier.
What looked like a legal program was playing on the TV screen. Lin Xian found that the time in the upper right corner did not seem to match the current time. After checking carefully, he found that the player under the TV was on. She asked Xiao Wanqing suspiciously: "Aunt Xiao, what are you looking at?"
Xiao Wanqing said indifferently: "A legal program, this episode is about the teacher-student relationship between a female teacher and two male students. The female teacher instigated the boys to be jealous of her, and in the end one was disabled and the other was closed. Our magazine recently published Pay attention to the topic of teacher-student love, and prepare to do an in-depth research.”
Before Lin Xian could answer, the narrator commented on the speaker, "The teacher used two male students who had just grown up and had no experience in the world. Their adolescent impulsiveness was easily seduced to incite them to be jealous...", Xiao Wanqing followed the narrator He sighed and said, "When they grow up, they will definitely regret it."
Lin Xian didn't care at all, but just wanted to say a few more words to Xiao Wanqing, chat, and asked her casually: "Why do you regret it?"
Xiao Wanqing answered her seriously: "Because when they grow up, they will find that this is not love. It is just attachment and admiration caused by unequal status and restlessness in adolescence. They mistakenly thought it was love. They ruined the rest of their lives because of this wrong emotion, how could they not regret it."
Lin Xian froze for a moment, and felt uncomfortable because of the words "elderly", "mistaken", and "wrong" in Xiao Wanqing's words. She frowned, and became serious again, retorting Xiao Wanqing: "I think they may regret doing the wrong thing and loving the wrong person, but they cannot deny that their current feelings for the female teacher are not love. This is Two things cannot be generalized."
Xiao Wanqing retorted calmly: "An adult with mature three outlooks and a sound mind falls in love with a person after making his own rational judgment and making a choice of obeying his heart in a free and calm situation. And when they are just adults, Even when they were minors, the female teacher used the halo brought by the unequal status to maliciously lure them into restlessness, and deliberately influenced their three views, which caused them to have distorted emotions. This kind of emotion is a kind of blind and immature attachment and dependence that has been deliberately cultivated, and it is not the real love that arises when one soul is attracted by another soul." In order to deduce the topic, she hastily said a Conclusion: "Many times, the beginning of a teacher-student relationship, or a relationship with a large age difference, has a certain amount of blind worship and wrong filters. It may not be true love. What they fall in love with is just what they see in their eyes. False illusions. When they themselves reach that age, they won't be so obsessed."
"Aren't their souls being attracted by a beautiful soul that they mistakenly think exists?" Lin Xian asked sharply. Xiao Wanqing was too arbitrary, her conclusion on love with a large age difference immediately touched Lin Xian's pain point. Lin Xian is like a cat whose tail has been stepped on, and the fur all over his body explodes.
She seemed to be standing on the debate stage she was used to, with a stern look on her face as she countered the point of view she disagreed with: "In love, who can be truly calm and objective. There has been a saying since ancient times that Xi Shi is in the eye of the beholder." , Which person in love can truly look at his lover objectively and without filters? It is not so much a false illusion as it is a voluntary beautification."
She is like a small steel cannon, powerfully attacking Xiao Wanqing's flawed rhetoric: "In the love between two adults, most of them are attracted to each other because they have something that they don't have. Just like silent people , may fall in love with a humorous person, a sloppy person, or a thoughtful and cautious person, then if they themselves have these characteristics, they may not like each other, then you have to say their love Isn’t it love? In the love between the elderly and the young, the elderly can covet the youthful vigor of the young, and the young may adore the maturity and stability of the elderly. Isn’t this the same as in love, one soul is replaced by another soul? Attracted? When they reach that age, they may no longer be obsessed with each other's maturity, but in the long years, they may no longer love each other just because of their maturity. Losing this characteristic, They are still in love. It would be too arbitrary to deny their relationship just because one of them is young."
"You can say that young people have uncertain three views and are easily swayed by influence, but older people must be firm and mature in three views and will not be affected? In the process of communicating with people, isn't it the three views? Do the views communicate and influence each other? Who is responsible for whose three views? Who can be responsible for whose three views?"
"Aunt Xiao, I don't think it's appropriate for you to choose this topic with your own unobjective prejudice." Lin Xian frowned, his tone full of disappointment.
Xiao Wanqing is not a person who is good at arguing, and she is guilty of wanting to euphemistically mention Lin Xian, intending to bring Lin Xian back on track. In fact, she didn't fully agree with her point of view, and she didn't make thorough preparations and rhetoric. She thought that a girl with such an intelligent personality would give in with a guilty conscience when she received her own overtones, but she never expected that Lin Xian's usually gentle temperament would suddenly become so eloquent and aggressive when this topic was touched.
Xiao Wanqing was a little speechless by her series of rhetorical questions.
Lin Xian thought that if Xiao Wanqing knew that he liked her, he might treat him like this, so he became more and more angry and spoke more and more fiercely. But when she saw Xiao Wanqing's face that was a little helpless by her sudden sharp words, she couldn't help feeling a little soft-hearted.
She sighed, wanting to give Xiao Wanqing some time to digest and also to give herself some time to calm down, she stood up and said to Xiao Wanqing: "Aunt Xiao, I'm going to take a bath first."
Lin Xian seems to be more mature, firmer, and harder to persuade than she thought.
She wanted to be responsible for Lin Xian's three views, but Lin Xian seemed unwilling to give her this opportunity.
Xiao Wanqing bit her lip, looked at Lin Xian with a complicated expression, and nodded absentmindedly.
In the bathroom, Lin Xian turned on the shower, letting the water coolly fall on his body, and his excited thoughts gradually settled down. She regained her senses, her vigilance returned to her mind, and she slowly recalled: Did Aunt Xiao mean something else when she said this to herself
She was still in a trance when suddenly, a black shadow flew past her eyes.
Lin Xian froze for a moment.
In the next second, Lin Xian stared at the approaching shadow, widened his eyes, and realized - a big flying cockroach! ! ! !
Lin Xian suddenly exclaimed "Ah!" Then, looking at the cockroach approaching ferociously with fluttering wings, she held her head in panic and fled in the bathroom quickly.
Xiao Wanqing was sitting quietly in the living room with a heavy mind, when she suddenly heard Lin Xian's exclamation from the bathroom, she was startled, her body moved faster than her mind, bounced up in an instant, and trotted over, Anxiously asked Lin Xian: "Xianxian, what's the matter?" It was the first time that she knocked on the door frantically without regard to manners, and she felt uneasy in her heart, for fear that Lin Xian accidentally fell and slipped inside.
Fortunately, the girl's terrified voice soon came from the door, with a faint cry: "Ah, Aunt Xiao, there are cockroaches, ah..."
The next second, the door was opened, and Lin Xianhua appeared in Xiao Wanqing's eyes with a pale face. When Xiao Wanqing opened her eyes slightly, froze and was still in a daze, she slammed into Xiao Wanqing's arms.
"Aunt Xiao, I'm afraid..." It was the first time Xiao Wanqing heard a girl speak to her in such a delicate and lovely crying voice.
Her hair was not completely wet yet, and she had a messy beauty. Her whole body was only wrapped in a short white bath towel, barely covering her chest to the roots of her thighs. Thin shoulders, clear collarbone, straight long legs, bright and timid face, graceful figure...
The young body is sexy and messed up.
Xiao Wanqing was hugged by the girl stiffly, looking down, she saw the girl's bare shoulders and back, and her raised hands had no place to rest for a while.
My heart is beating like thunder, and my heart is like numbness.
She moved her throat and clenched her five fingers unconsciously. After being stunned for a moment, she finally came to her senses, took off her coat and put it on Lin Xian's shoulders, telling her: "Don't be afraid, don't catch a cold..."
As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Xiao Wanqing realized that her voice had become hoarse.
She was so ashamed that she didn't dare to look at Lin Xian again, broke away from Lin Xian's embrace, and walked quickly into the bathroom: "I'm going to shoot cockroaches, you go to the bathroom in my bedroom to wash."
Lin Xian had Xiao Wanqing, so her courage became stronger again, and she followed Xiao Wanqing step by step: "I... I will accompany you." She calmed down a little, and immediately remembered to care about Xiao Wanqing: "Aunt Xiao, are you afraid of cockroaches? " She swallowed her saliva, clenched her fists, and gritted her teeth like a strong man broke her wrist: "If Auntie Xiao is also afraid of you, let me do it."
Hearing this, Xiao Wanqing turned around and looked back at Lin Xian who was still shaking with fear but still wanted to protect her, complex and obscure emotions flashed in her eyes. She turned around and said in a low voice, "I'm not afraid. Xianxian, let's get dressed first."
Lin Xian was relieved to hear that Xiao Wanqing was not afraid. She is not afraid of anything, but these messy insects, flying cockroaches, are her number one enemy. She looked at her embarrassed appearance, and finally compromised: "Then... Aunt Xiao, I'll go get dressed first."
"En." Xiao Wanqing forced out this answer from her throat with difficulty.
In the silence of the night, the familiar big bed was tossed by the waves, and there were occasional soft moaning and panting sounds from a woman that could not be suppressed.
Xiao Wanqing felt that she was like a tight lute, tossing and turning in the girl's hands, gently kneading, slowly twisting, rubbing and picking again, the strings trembled and trembled for a long time...
I... I can't stand it...
Xiao Wanqing tensed her body tremblingly. Tired and satisfied, she wanted to hug the beloved girl who was tirelessly asking for her, stretched out her hands, and closed them with love, but in the next second, she was stunned...
The next moment, she suddenly woke up from her sleep.
During the long night, the empty bed enveloped her, and what accompanied her was only endless darkness and emptiness.
An indescribable sense of despair, accompanied by the shame and shame brought by the wetness she felt, permeated Xiao Wanqing's heart heavily.
Indecisiveness leads to disaster.
It was she who overestimated herself.
The author has something to say: Aunt Xiao: Why am I such a person (despair)
Lin Xian comforted: Don't be afraid, it's all Spring's fault!