Lin Xian didn't know how he rode a little sheep to the vicinity of Xiao Wanqing's magazine. Along the way, countless thoughts flashed through her mind, and countless sadness and disappointment surged through her mind, but in the end, she still gritted her teeth and deceived herself to save the last sliver of luck: Maybe, Auntie Xiao just didn't have time to go home, today, Getting ready to give yourself a little surprise. Perhaps, the construction period was falsely extended just for the convenience of hiring a nanny. For example, I used to hear from my classmates that when I went to do a summer job, I usually couldn’t honestly say that I could only do it for two months, and that it would be easier to find a job after a long time.
She knew in her heart that Aunt Xiao was not such an unreal person.
But... maybe...
Obviously, Auntie Xiao also likes me so much, and she told her clearly, we will talk about it when I come back. How could someone as gentle as her be willing to treat her like this.
She never knew before that she was such a dying person who would not hit the south wall without looking back.
She parked the little sheep at a toll stop on the road opposite Xiao Wanqing's magazine, and then reached out to take off the helmet. The moment she raised her head and was about to get out of the car, she saw several brightly dressed women walking out of the opposite building. Among them, the woman walking in the middle had long light chestnut hair falling on her shoulders, and the ends of her hair were beautifully curled. rise. When she turned her head to talk with people and smiled, the profile of her face showed the familiar delicate lines that fascinated Lin Xian.
In an instant, Lin Xian's whole body became stiff as if being swept by the cold wind. Subconsciously, she took out her mobile phone in a panic, as if she didn't want to believe it, but with the last little hope, she pressed the shortcut key that was set as the first contact, and dialed Xiao Wanqing's number.
She stared straight at the tall and beautiful figure at the door of the opposite building, without blinking. She watched her stop and took out her cell phone from her bag. After a few seconds, she put down her cell phone, followed the footsteps of the people next to her as if nothing had happened, and left.
Lin Xian listened blankly to the busy voice of "beep beep" coming from the mobile phone, and watched the figure disappear little by little around the corner and into the crowd, as if he heard his dreams shattered little by little, and his heart ached. , a little bit of the sound of bleeding to death.
Her chest was full of pain and sourness, as well as the indescribable resentment and annoyance that she was full of trust and expectation but only got cheated.
Why, why did you do this to her? Why lie to her? Why let her be happy late? Why can't the two of them speak clearly in front of her when they have something to say? Why make her wait like a fool for a cruel outcome where she'll never come back
Why, why, when she was looking forward to her future life, she was planning how to push her away quietly...
Did she think she was a fool? Did she think she wouldn't be in pain
She pulled out the key and got out of the car, her eyes were filled with unshed tears, and with a trembling index finger, she dialed the number again. A few seconds later, the phone was hung up mercilessly again, and then, there was an impatient text message: "I'm busy."
The big tears in Lin Xian's eyes finally rolled down his cheeks in a futile way. The car watcher who was waiting to pay was frightened by her sudden crying, stopped in his tracks, hesitated and dared not go forward.
Ever since Lin Xian grew up, she was extremely reluctant to cry in front of others. She took a breath and raised her hand to wipe her tears indiscriminately. She stuffed two coins into the hand of the car watcher, then ran away quickly with her head down. She rushed across the road in a rampage, and ran into the building of the magazine opposite without any risk.
Standing at the elevator door, she calmed herself down, took out the wet wipes and paper towels, faced the reflection of the elevator door, pressed her lips tightly, wiped off the tears on her face bit by bit, and restored a peaceful face Only then did he press the elevator floor of Xiao Wanqing Magazine.
She kept telling herself, Lin Xian, you can't cry, you are an adult, in front of Aunt Xiao, when you are fighting for love, you can't cry even more, you have to be a mature and stable person.
The girl at the front desk of the magazine has always been the most familiar with the relationship between people in the magazine, and she has a special impression of Lin Xian. The first time Xiao Wanqing brought Lin Xian in, she was amazed by Xiao Wanqing's closeness to Lin Xian, and she immediately remembered Lin Xian. Later, the second time Lin Xian came to bring food to Xiao Wanqing, the front desk originally shirked and asked Xiao Wanqing first , but couldn't bear Lin Xian's pleading that she wanted to give Xiao Wanqing a surprise, and she let it go softly. Later, it turned out that Xiao Wanqing was not angry, and she did the right thing. So, this time, Lin Xian came to look for Xiao Wanqing again. The front desk was busy eating takeaway food. He raised his head and saw Lin Xian, and smiled familiarly at her: "Are you looking for editor Xiao to have dinner together again? It's a pity that editor Xiao went out with his colleagues today ate."
Lin Xian smiled slightly and said, "It's okay, I have something serious to talk to her about today. Sister, can I go in and wait for her?"
The front desk smiled, and said cheerfully: "Okay, you can sit in the reception room and wait. When the editor-in-chief comes back, I can tell her to let her go directly to you, okay?" She put down her chopsticks, got up and took Followed Lin Xian to the reception room inside.
Lin Xian nodded, followed behind her, and said politely, "Okay, I'm sorry to trouble you, sister." The corners of her lips were slightly curved, and in order to thank her for her cooperation, she looked at her and said flatteringly: "Sister, you have lunch now. Sister, you eat very little for lunch, no wonder you are in such a good shape."
The front desk was coaxed into a smile, and he wanted to refuse and greeted him: "What's missing is what's good. However, I have been doing morning jogging recently, and I feel that after doing it..."
Lin Xian followed behind her, listening to her chatterbox, the corners of her lips were faintly curved with a smile, but her eyes were light and cold.
It wasn't until the front desk left the reception room that Lin Xian sat alone on the sofa, holding the cup of hot water poured for her by the front desk girl, that she completely suppressed her smile, her eyes darkened.
Xiao Wanqing remembered the two urgent phone calls that Lin Xian had made in a row for a long time, and her heart was inexplicably ups and downs. She didn't have much appetite, but she ate a few mouthfuls of lunch, then found an excuse, and went back ahead of her colleagues.
On the way back, she was still uneasy, and called Aunt Liu, wanting to ask what happened to Lin Xian in the past two days.
Sitting at home, Aunt Liu was also thinking about the meaning of the phone call from Lin Xian during class time. When Xiao Wanqing asked her about Lin Xian, she immediately confessed to Xiao Wanqing like pouring beans: "Xianxian called me a strange call this morning and asked me how long the employment period you negotiated with me was. After talking to her, she seemed a little weird, and finally hung up the phone without saying anything. I... I kept thinking afterwards, did I say something wrong? "
Aunt Liu realized later that something was wrong between Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian? Lin Xian always asked herself if Xiao Wanqing called her and asked if she had called her, and Xiao Wanqing always asked herself Lin Xian, why didn't the two of them directly call each other to care about each other
When Xiao Wanqing heard Aunt Liu's answer, her heart sank and her footsteps stopped. Lin Xian...do you know what? In the first moment, what crossed her heart was panic, fear and uneasiness.
But lies, there will always be a day when they will be exposed. Her purpose is not to let Lin Xian understand her unspoken rejection in her gradual indifference, and to leave each other with a final dignity.
Xiao Wanqing's eyes gradually dimmed again, and her uneasiness gradually calmed down. It's a matter of time, isn't it? Now it's just a little earlier than she thought.
But you have to react, you have to know, Xian Xian, so smart, she will definitely understand her silent rejection.
She must be very sad and sad, and maybe cry. But she will always meet more interesting people in the future and have a more exciting tomorrow, and she will gradually forget the childish love now.
In the end, she just lowered her eyes and whispered to Aunt Liu: "It's okay, there's nothing you can't say. It's just, just..."
"Auntie, please help me take care of her more." The last sentence was soft, as if filled with extreme nostalgia and helpless sincerity. Hearing this, Aunt Liu's heart was inexplicably numb, and she felt more and more about the relationship between her employer and her niece. Suddenly far and near, unusual.
Xiao Wanqing hung up the phone, looked up at the scorching sun in the clear blue sky, feeling dizzy.
Is it true that the brighter the sun is, the more glaring the light is, the more you cannot look up or look directly at it.
inaccessible.
She turned around weakly, avoided the scorching sun, entered the building, and went straight up to the tall building, telling herself over and over again in her heart: let it end like this, end this ambiguity that started and ended silently, now , without arguing or arguing, after many years, neither pain nor itching.
Lin Xian, you must understand.
However, when she stepped into the magazine office, the smiling notification from the front desk ruthlessly shattered the last bit of luck in her heart and tore off the last bit of calm pretense on her face: "Editor-in-chief, your niece has come to see you and is waiting for you in the living room." .”
Subconsciously, Xiao Wanqing moved her steps, wanting to turn around and leave here, to escape from this reunion that was destined not to be peaceful after a long separation.
But a few seconds later, she lifted her footsteps, and finally, she slowly relaxed.
Where else could she escape? The girl is more persistent and brave than she thought, how long can she escape
If it is destined not to end peacefully as she wished, then short-term pain is worse than long-term pain.
Xiao Wanqing clenched the hand by her side, and then slowly let go. She raised her head, smiled generously and decently at the front desk, and said softly, "Okay, thank you for taking her there, I'll go find her."
She stepped into the door, turned her head sideways, and saw from a distance, in the transparent glass window of the reception room, the thin back of a girl sitting alone with her head down.
No matter how much psychological construction, it will fall apart when seeing this person engraved in my heart. Xiao Wanqing's heart suddenly soured, and tears were about to well up in her eyes uncontrollably. She raised her head, took a deep breath, blinked her eyes vigorously, forced back her tears,
She straightened her waist, lowered her head, and stared ahead, her face slowly changed into a calm and indifferent face, without the slightest smile. Like bidding farewell to her beloved lover and rushing to the front-line battlefield where she could escape death, she walked towards her girl step by step, like stepping on her broken heart.
The thick wooden door was gently knocked twice, and then there was the sound of the door being pushed open. Lin Xian stood up immediately upon hearing the sound, turned around and looked out the door.
At the door, the woman she thought about day and night, holding the doorknob just like that, stared at her quietly without saying a word. Her dark eyes, which were always gentle as water, were so deep that she couldn't distinguish her emotions at this moment.
Lin Xian was originally full of grievances, anger and annoyance. In his heart, he had prepared countless drafts to question her about leaving without saying goodbye and deliberate deception. But all the dissatisfaction disappeared when she saw the gentle face that made her miss him so much. There seemed to be a thousand words, but before he could say anything, he turned his nose sorely, and finally opened his mouth, leaving only a half-crying, unimposing complaint of grievance: "Aunt Xiao, you didn't tell me you were back."
Xiao Wanqing closed the door and leaned against the door, in an indifferent and unfamiliar gesture that Lin Xian had never seen before. Her eyes fell on the coffee table in front of Lin Xian, she opened her lips, her voice was obviously cold and disappointed: "Lin Xian, I thought you would understand."
Lin Xian couldn't help but soften his heart when he saw her, and with her cold words, he couldn't help but harden again with grievances and unwillingness. She gritted her teeth to suppress the urge to cry, choked her throat, and asked Xiao Wanqing word by word: "What do I want to know?" She stared at Xiao Wanqing, her eyes burning as if she was going to burn her: "You have nothing Say, how do I know?"
Xiao Wanqing didn't dare to look directly at Lin Xian, fearing that she would be soft-hearted and unable to support the disguise. Her snow-white neck hung down, her hair covered her expression, and her voice was cold and cold: "Okay, let me make it clear. Lin Xian, you go back, we won't meet again in the future."
Lin Xian's expression finally cooled down bit by bit. Her eyes were still a little red, and her big eyes, which were usually full of smiles, gradually filled with cold and sharpness, as if she couldn't believe it. She asked Xiao Wanqing in a low voice: "So, this is the answer you will give me when you come back. ?"
Xiao Wanqing remained silent, she couldn't bear to see Lin Xian's red eyes and heartbroken expression. She was going to be unable to hold on anymore, so she said harsh words, it's okay, she turned around and grabbed the doorknob, trying to escape. Suddenly, a strong hand grabbed her wrist tightly. As if she was terrified, she broke free and ran away, Lin Xian was so strong that Xiao Wanqing felt her bones ache all over her body.
The girl called her name, which was completely different from the innocent and brilliant first time. This time, she yelled so low and calmly: "Xiao Wanqing, look at me." She squeezed her hand vigorously, forced Xiao Wanqing to turn around, staring at Xiao Wanqing who had turned red at some point Eye sockets, every word clanged: "If you want to reject me, let me say it openly and clearly first. Tell you, Xiao Wanqing, I..."
Xiao Wanqing kept her voice low and hoarse, like that night, and stopped interrupting her: "Lin Xian, do you have to do this? If you say it, we really can't go back again." Her tone made Lin Xian Xian felt like he was doing an unreasonable and stupid thing.
Lin Xian's brows were full of coldness, and a mocking smile appeared on the corner of his lips. He smiled, but tears came out again: "Where are you going back? Aunt Xiao? Back to the role of the gentle aunt and well-behaved niece who deceived others and deceived others." Come on, do you want to play a filial piety between a mother and a daughter?" She took a breath, her voice trembling slightly: "I never want to stay in that position, let me tell you, Xiao Wanqing."
"I like you." She stared at the same red-eyed but equally stubborn woman, and finally shouted out the words that had been whispered to her countless times in her heart: "Xiao Wanqing, I love you..." Her tears, as the words came out, could no longer be restrained, big drops overflowed from the eye sockets, and fell to the heartache.
Xiao Wanqing felt that her heart was already dying of pain, and she no longer felt it. She gritted her teeth, put on the most indifferent expression in her life, and asked Lin Xian disapprovingly: "Lin Xian, how old are you, do you really know what love is?" She clenched her fists tightly, and her palm was pierced by a nail , oozing blood, but she didn't realize it at all: "Lin Xian, I don't want to, and I don't want to, play this youth game with you. Don't embarrass me, okay?" It's like an adult is perfunctorily dealing with an unreasonable child .
Her indifference and cruelty finally stabbed Lin Xian completely. She pulled Xiao Wanqing violently with her arm, pulled Xiao Wanqing staggered a few steps, and almost fell on her: "In your eyes, is my love just a puberty game? Just because I am young, I am not worthy To love someone?"
She stared at Xiao Wanqing closely, her long eyelashes still had weak teardrops, but her expression was so fierce that she gritted her teeth: "Xiao Wanqing, didn't you really love someone when you were young? Was that just your game? "Why can she be so desperate for others when she was young, but can't be a little bit braver for her, even just a little bit. How could she be inferior to that irresponsible coward.
Xiao Wanqing rolled her eyes, her chest heaved violently, and after a while, she squeezed out her throat with difficulty: "I loved it, so I regret it. Lin Xian, I don't want you to regret it in the future."
"I'm not you! I'm not you cowards! I never regret my decision, I love you, I don't regret it, I don't regret it now, I don't regret it in the future, I won't regret it in this life!" The young and hoarse voice confided Words, loud and clear.
Xiao Wanqing stared at this brave and stubborn little girl she loved, and listening to the young man's sincere and fiery vows ringing in her ears, the tears she had been holding back could no longer be hidden and rolled down.
It turns out that pushing away someone you love is such a heart-piercing thing.
Seeing Xiao Wanqing's tears, Lin Xian felt her heart hurt more than when she saw her indifference to him. She raised her hand, removed the coldness between her brows, and gently tried to wipe away her tears: "Admit it, Xiao Wanqing. You obviously like me too, so why do you insist on pushing me away."
Xiao Wan looked at her with bright eyes, and seemed to be absent-minded for a moment, but in the next second, she seemed to regain her senses quickly, and took a step back suddenly.
Lin Xian's outstretched hand fell through.
Lin Xian couldn't hold back his voice any longer, and asked angrily with a crying voice: "Xiao Wanqing, what are you afraid of?!"
The sudden sound made Xiao Wanqing's head buzz and ache. She looked heartbroken at the girl in front of her who was on the verge of running away in despair under her indifference, turned her head, and saw outside the glass window, a colleague who had returned after dinner, as if attracted by the sound, stretched her neck curiously towards this Looking over.
Heart as dead ashes.
She struggled to break free from the hand tightly held by Lin Xian, and begged her: "Lin Xian, let me go."
Lin Xian confronted her, and under her struggle, he clenched tighter and tighter.
Xiao Wanqing finally burst into tears, and asked her choked with sobs: "Lin Xian, look at those people who are looking at us outside, what do you want the whole company to think of us, do you want me to be the company's gossip talker? "
Lin Xian turned his head sideways, and ruthlessly swept over those gossip-watching people, staring at them so that they lowered their heads and pretended to be busy. She couldn't help wiping Xiao Wanqing's tears that kept falling again. This time, Xiao Wanqing was powerless to avoid: "Is it important what others think of us? Why should we care about insignificant people?"
Xiao Wanqing's tears fell more and more violently.
Lin Xian doesn't understand, Lin Xian won't understand. Lin Xian is still young, how could she know that those insignificant glances are the sharpest sword in the world, never killing people invisible.
And in addition to those insignificant people, there are also the eyes of those important people. Killing and killing people, those eyes, the knife does not see blood, but the knife penetrates the heart.
She is too young to understand too many things.
But she's still young, so she shouldn't understand. Better yet, never experience it, never understand it.
This is not the way her beloved girl should go.
She suppressed her voice and cried silently until she was a little out of breath. Finally, she became cruel, and in the posture of Lin Xian holding one hand, she raised both hands and pushed forward fiercely towards Lin Xian. Lin Xian, who was pushed unsuspectingly, staggered back a few steps, and his calf slammed into the coffee table.
Because he was afraid of pulling Xiao Wanqing down together, Lin Xian subconsciously let go of Xiao Wanqing's hand, and fell down on the coffee table unsteadily. The calf bone hurt from hitting the ground.
But nothing can hurt her heart.
Xiao Wanqing regretted the moment she heard the impact, but when she saw Lin Xian looking at her in disbelief in despair, she restrained herself. She turned her back, pressed one hand on the back of the sofa, supported her weak body, and said coldly in a hoarse voice: "Lin Xian, please go. Please."
"Please don't make me hate you." As if bored, Xiao Wanqing's tone ruthlessly made people feel chills all over.
The hurtful words, like a sharp arrow piercing through the air, shot precisely into Lin Xian's heart, killing the last bit of courage and shame she held on to. Lin Xian's waist became limp, his head hung down, like a defeated rooster, he laughed slowly and dejectedly, tears came out of his laughter. Her last pride finally made her stand up slowly, strode towards the door, grabbed the door handle, and was about to rush out.
However, after a long time, she still didn't open the door and take that step. She still compromised with her heart, abandoned all her pride and reservedness, and begged in a low voice: "Let's all calm down first. It's not convenient to talk here." After that, she opened the door and ran out quickly.
She ran out of the magazine office, wiped her tears as she ran, mocking and scolding herself in disgust, Lin Xian, what about your self-esteem, Lin Xian, why are you so thick-skinned? Lin Xian, that's what everyone is talking about, why are you so ignorant of facial expressions
Lin Xian squatted down in the elevator, hugging herself, crying out of breath.
But, I love her...