The commissary on the corner, several square meters, was filled with shelves and it was difficult to settle down. Zao'er held Qiao Fengtian's hand, raised his head and moved his mouth, meaning he wanted to smack something. Qiao Fengtian took the cigarette, bought a bag of big white rabbit and stained bayberry for her, took off the candy wrapper and threw one into her mouth.
I couldn't go back early, so I went to a fitness equipment area in the dormitory area, held Zao'er firmly on the spacewalker, and watched her stride with the armrests in her arms. There was a row of loquat trees in the back. After dinner, three or two old men and women held up a fan to digest food in the shade. They recognized the dates and greeted her with a smile from a distance.
Qiao Fengtian leaned on the armrest, and held the back of Zao'er's head in his palm. He closed his eyes and opened his eyes. It was dark and bright, and he looked up at the strange clouds in the sky today.
What Zheng Siqi intends to say, his tone, attitude, point of view, and expression are all unclear. Thinking of this, I realized that I like a person, and his thoughts are completely penetrating and familiar. Maybe it has been said frankly, the family is flying and dogs are jumping, and it may not be necessary to throw pots and miscellaneous pots. Qiao Fengtian guessed in his head alone, feeling both guilt and indescribable comfort in his heart.
The consolation lies in the liberty to have an active position soon. With the sudden huge glare and high pressure after freedom, they were mixed in chaos. It's not appropriate to be happy, and it's not appropriate to be unhappy.
Qiao Fengtian felt distressed that Zheng Siqi had to pay more than him, and brought the hurt to his family reluctantly. But because of this worthless heartache, they can't be in a mess, disturbing the thought and courage that the two have been saving for so long. Broken pots and smashes, sacrificing one's life to blow up a bunker, and loving someone, such a straightforward style of behavior is often used in the face of difficulties.
Simplify the complexity and think straight.
"Zao'er." Qiao Fengtian looked down at Zheng Yu, pinching the two tugs on the left and right of her head. Qiao Fengtian guessed that it was Zheng Siyi's craftsmanship.
"Hey!" She responded crisply, chewed the big white rabbit in her mouth, and looked up at Qiao Fengtian.
"Will my aunt hit someone?" asked a little nonsense.
"Auntie?" Zheng Yu pouted, "Spanking, spanking my cousin, when I was young, I mean when I was younger, I didn't obey me and didn't eat well, and also spanked my butt. Dad said he was young. When I was always beaten by my aunt, when I didn’t study, my grandfather and my aunt would play mixed doubles together and chased around the yard.”
Qiao Fengtian laughed when he heard it, and he had a good sense of the picture.
"Does hitting someone hurt?"
"It hurts!" Zao'er wrinkled her nose and raised her brows, stretched out her hand, "Auntie has a flat palm, and spanking hurts!"
In the Zheng family's kitchen, Zheng Siyi has no adults, so she just can't speak.
"Tell me clearly, you can say it again." Zheng Siyi hurriedly wiped off the water droplets on his hand on the towel, grabbed the old apron as if he was at a loss, and put it down again, "Speak clearly, word by word, Say it, let's talk about it."
Zheng Siqi closed the kitchen door behind his back and locked it.
"What door are you closing?!" Zheng Siyi suddenly frowned.
"Sister." Zheng Siqi raised a finger to his mouth and muttered, "Did you hear clearly just now? I didn't lie to you, I didn't joke with you, what I said was serious."
Zheng Siqi pursed his lips and said again, "I think he's good, he's my partner, I'm going to have a date with him—"
Zheng Siyi's slap suddenly rose high, and when she stepped forward, her plastic-soled slippers made two crisp "pop" sounds on the floor. It's like the foley of two slaps.
"Pass your mother!"
Zheng Siqi's hope that Zheng Siqi was still jumping off a second ago, Zheng Siyi's slap with all his strength was reluctant to fall, and the next second, he was deflected by the huge pain accompanied by a loud sound. The glasses holder slid down the bridge of his nose and was shaky, Zheng Siqi raised his hand and pushed it back, closing his eyes to make sure he was swayed.
It's been a long time since I've been beaten so mercilessly, and the impression of pain is faint and vague. If I feel it again, I always have to be in a circle for a while.
He raised his head to look directly at Zheng Siyi, and he reminded himself not to show a little swaying weakness.
"I'll give you another face, listen carefully, and quickly take back those nonsense nonsense just now!" Zheng Siyi looked cold and pointed, pointed at the tip of Zheng Siqi's nose and said, "Take it back for me! "
The palm prints on Zheng Siqi's face were distinct, showing a kind of embarrassment that he had never seen before. He shook his head, turned around, took a rolling pin from the cupboard, and handed it to him, "Sister, I can't take it back."
Zheng Siyi's throat twitched for a while, the corners of his mouth pursed deeply, and he twitched.
"You can fight here, I don't move, you can fight if you're not happy, as long as you don't go out and give me a breath, you can fight whatever you want, just like I was disobedient. You can hear me after you fight me. Now, I'll explain it to you better... all right?"
Zheng Siqi took off his glasses, closed them and stuffed them into his front pocket.
Zheng Siyi recognized Zheng Siqi's serious look. The last time I saw him was when he insisted on repeating it more than ten years ago. At that time, people were still jerky and stubborn like a donkey, and it could be said that in his seriousness there was a boy who pretended to be a big head. , which really shocked Zheng Siyi.
This kid is not telling lies, no fools, no jokes.
"You..." Zheng Siyi swallowed, frowned and took a breath, a bit at a loss as to what to do, and looked around, "Seriously speaking, don't fuck with me like this..."
Zheng Siqi sometimes felt that things that could be solved by being beaten up were nothing at all. However, it is often in taciturn silence that things will develop unpredictably and uncontrollably. Zheng Siqi confessed that he had guessed many situations before. In all kinds of showers and storms, he was afraid that Zheng Siyi would not say a word, and he was afraid that Zheng Siyi would not believe it at all.
The first step is to seek stability. If there is no way to communicate, there will be no chance of being understood in the future.
"I don't." Zheng Siqi smiled quickly, "I'm serious."
"Don't stress the word serious to me!" Zheng Siyi raised her head and shouted sharply, staring at the palm print on his face, "Don't be a hippie smile! You are amazing, everything is under your control!"
"I-"
"Don't tell me you don't have it! I know who you are with your conceited mind!" Zheng Siyi raised her hand and patted the chopping board, "What? What are you going to say? It's like dealing with your students. Make an analysis, and persuade me to understand you and tolerate you with my emotions and reason? In the end, I became the unreasonable and uncivilized one who can’t take care of anything, right?!”
"Didn't you make up your mind? Why are you telling me? When I find a partner for you, when you are unwilling to live or die, are you not making sense? Say it! Come and let me stand and listen. You say, I see you explain another flower today!"
"Come on." Zheng Siyi paused for two seconds, her throat choked inadvertently, she stepped forward and picked up the rolling pin, raised her hand high, and slammed it on Zheng Siqi's left shoulder to drink, "I'll let you speak!!"
The stick landed firmly on the collarbone with a muffled sound, the pain between the teeth. Zheng Siqi made a vague "hmm" in his throat, stood still, but narrowed his eyes in pain.
In the kitchen in the afternoon, by the sink, the two fell into a brief silence for a while. The sound of cicadas in the courtyard is intermittent, if you take a rest and don't cry, it seems that even the world is silent for a moment, unable to move forward or backward.
Zheng Siyi put down the rolling pin in her hand and pulled her hair.
"That kid seriously likes boys?"
"kindness."
"How long have you two been?"
Zheng Siqi pushed down his glasses, his left hand was almost numb to the point where he couldn't lift it, "I met him more than a month ago, and I met him in winter."
"Do you know Zao'er?"
"I don't know completely, I didn't say that."
"Have you ever thought about it, Zao'er is a girl. She doesn't understand anything now, so she can listen to your gibberish. When she's big, she won't need you to teach her to know..." Zheng Siyi went to the Taiwan case. Rely, "What do you do?"
Zheng Siqi didn't speak - no matter what you say now, in Zheng Siyi's opinion, it's just empty talk.
"You've talked about friends, got married and had children, but you haven't thought about it in thirty-six years. Now that you meet someone you feel like, you can happily go with someone. When I woke up, I found out, hey, I fucking found out that I still like women. What do you want that kid to do?"
"You are not a freelancer, you are a university lecturer in the establishment, with an iron job, I won't talk about my dad's side, your leaders, your colleagues, and the students around you are all people, all eyes, all watching, you can't protect You have to be run because of this, you will suffer, and you will not be able to stay, you don't understand?"
"The two of you are going to stumble and fail to get together and end up falling apart. What do you do? Do you continue to like men or women, and can your life get back on the right track?"
"My dad and I will go ahead of you sooner or later, you are old, you two can't get married, you can't get a property notarization, he can't sign for you when you have an operation, and he can't inherit your house and car when you die, you two will get it when the wind blows. The relationship that broke up is useless except for money. Have you ever thought about it
"On the day you were buried, you didn't say anything about wearing hemp and filial piety, and you didn't have his share of crying and mourning."
Zheng Siyi's emotions were temporarily restrained, and his words were coherent, but every sentence was well-founded, reflecting the most real reality.
Zheng Siqi was silent for a long time.
"I've thought about it all. But how can I explain it to you? I said that I don't care about other people's opinions. You have to say that I'll know when I'm good. Now I'm better than anyone else. I said I'll always like it. He, you have to tell me not to talk too much, I said I will teach Zao'er well and let him know that some things are understandable, you have to say that I take the mundane too simple."
Zheng Siqi lifted his glasses and smiled, "Sometimes, I feel the most powerless is not that I don't know how to say it, but that what I really say is what I really mean, and people who listen to it don't believe it."
"That's because your life is too long. Standing here is like thinking about everything thousands of kilometers away." Zheng Siyi was relieved, rolled his eyelids and pressed his eyebrows, "Dream your dreams."
"Then I'll just talk about the moment." Zheng Siqi turned his head to look at her, "You think I'm just shaving my head and being hot, and I don't think about anything. It's not right. Can you still understand me?"
"Understand, understand, understand." Zheng Siyi nodded, chewing the word repeatedly in his mouth, and smiled suddenly.
"You people, you always talk about understanding, I'm surprised, the concept education we received from childhood, the cognition in our bones, is to think that these things are wrong or wrong, the general environment was like this at that time, we I didn't even take to the street to hold a flag and say that I want to kill all these things. I was shocked when this happened. I thought it hurt and I couldn't accept it. Why should we understand it? I don't understand and accept it Am I wrong?"
"Yes, you're right, you're right about people, fuck men and women, it's a free society now." Zheng Siyi stared straight at Zheng Siqi, "So Dad deserves to have a son who likes men, I have one. A brother who likes men, Zao’er has a father who likes men, and when you feel that it doesn’t matter to enjoy true love, we will bear the eyes of others and help you to tell you that you are all right, and you are doing well.”
"We can't even choose, why can't we struggle and drag you back to try?"