After the new semester started, Shi Ci became even busier. He taught classes, led students on projects, and flew back and forth between Naijo, the University of Tokyo, and his alma mater in the San Francisco Bay Area for exchanges.
She kept herself busy on purpose so that she would pay less attention to the passing of time.
When she got off the plane in the early morning one night and arrived downstairs of her home, she looked up and saw salt particles flying in the sky.
She looked at the falling snow and didn't even know how many snows it had fallen in Nancheng. She only knew that it was already deep winter.
After entering the house, she didn't turn on the lights. She pushed the suitcase aside, sat on the sofa, and looked at the snow outside the window, just watching quietly for a long time.
Then she called on her cell phone and started to deal with things.
There were many messages from Ms. Ding on WeChat, asking her to go home. It turned out that the Spring Festival was almost here, and she had been so worried that she even neglected the decorations before the New Year.
She looked through her circle of friends and clicked into Tang Zuo's circle of friends. She was in Beicheng. This year, she spent the Spring Festival at Zhang Zinan's home.
Shi Ci thought, this was good, at least she wouldn't be spending the New Year alone.
On New Year's Eve, she went home to eat. Her family knew that she was in a bad mood, and they had some guesses, but no one dared to ask, even Ms. Ding kept silent. After a dull meal, she returned to her house in the city, and Mr. Shi did not comment.
She paced slowly downstairs in the community, her hands in her pockets, and grabbed a few candies that Ms. Ding had put in her pocket before she went out - the candies she ate every year, Garden's Lucky Star Candies.
Shi Ci peeled one and held it in his mouth. A sweet taste rose on the tip of his tongue. Eating it like this, he no longer felt cold on the cold winter nights.
She turned around a few times and finally took out her cell phone to send a WeChat message.
The screen lit up and she paused. In the dialog box was a message from Tang Zuo: "Happy New Year." It was sent more than an hour ago.
The hot air was exhaled and the cold air entered her lungs, like a thin blade passing through, cold and painful.
After the beginning of the year, Shi Ci was busy for a while. The weather gradually warmed up. After April, she knew that Tang Zuo had returned to school to prepare for her graduation thesis. She should have nothing to do during this period. She had been admitted to graduate school and had no anxiety about finding a job. She might also prepare for her translation exam at the same time, or find a part-time job. These were just guesses.
They didn't have a chance to meet.
After her thesis defense, graduation season and the end of the semester, Shi Ci finally found time to be at school.
They still hadn't met, and Shi Ci hadn't brought it up on her own initiative. She felt a little bored and just wanted to get busy with work.
The world is big, but work is the biggest.
She is also good at her field. She has been flying back and forth in the past year and has published four SCI journal papers. She is a core young teacher and a key training target of the school. She has a National Natural Science Foundation project on hand. Her students respect and like her, and her colleagues and leaders praise her. Her career is going well, but she still feels frustrated and lost.
By the beginning of August, when all the graduates had left school and students from other grades had finished their final exams, the campus of CU became quiet.
Shi Ci seemed to be waiting for something, and was not sure whether he could wait until the end of August, when the call finally came.
The summer shade covered the ground, and she was waiting for Tang Zuo under the tree.
In a flash, it has been exactly one year since we last met.
Her mind was suddenly in a mess, and she couldn't sort out her thoughts. When Tang Zuo came over, Shi Ci felt that she was a little more unfamiliar. She was in a very complicated mood, and Tang Zuo must have been in the same mood. The two stood face to face, as if they were staring at each other, their eyes were still and complicated.
"Go ahead." Shi Ci turned around and led the way.
Tang Zuo had been to the house in the city and told her the password and set up a set of her fingerprints.
They spent two days and one night sweetly. If they had known earlier, they should not have accepted Sister Miu's invitation, but knowing earlier is priceless.
After entering the house and pouring some water, they sat face to face, looking at each other in silence again.
Tang Zhao wore a grass green long skirt, which was slightly loose in style, with bow pleats on the waist and a ponytail, looking pretty and charming.
Her wrist was empty, not wearing the watch she gave her. Shi Ci's gaze returned to her neck, which also had no decorations. He picked a chain for her as a birthday gift this year, but he didn't know if she would accept it.
Once many words lose their initial momentum, they seem to lose their meaning in the future.
But people are always unwilling to lose someone's heart, yet unwilling to take the initiative to win it back, so they have no choice but to keep silent.
Some things are hard to talk about, so I can only find safe topics.
Shi Ci wanted to talk about the daily trivialities of the past year, and also wanted to ask about her recent situation.
Before she even opened her mouth, she already felt it was strenuous. If she was the only one who was enthusiastic about shaving like last time, it would be really disheartening. But after all, she was so much older than her. Shi Ci glanced at her, and Tang Zuo also looked up.
Her heart skipped a beat.
Tang Zuo spoke up, "I will be reporting in a few days."
Shi Ci was silent for a moment before nodding.
The geographical distance between Qingcheng and Beicheng is more than a thousand kilometers, and the flight takes two hours. It is not far, but it is not close either.
Life is so short. Since we fell in love, it is painful enough that we cannot see each other every day. Now we have to be separated. Shi Ci is no longer a teenager. Besides, her working hours are too long. She doesn't want to have a long-distance relationship. There are too many variables, too many time differences and unreachability in long-distance relationships.
"Have you made a decision?" Shi Ci asked after a long while. When she asked this question, she felt a little hopeful.
If she is willing, it is not impossible for me to be in a different place.
"I..." Tang Zuo clenched his hands, his eyelashes trembled, and there was a hint of gray-green under his eyes.
"Let's separate," she said.
At dusk, the sky is very beautiful, blue and pink, like candy wrapper and oil painting.
Tang Zhuo took a ride back to school. The scenery was still beautiful with green trees, green grass and red flowers, but she no longer had the heart to appreciate it. She walked slowly to Yixiu Building, where she had lived for four years. To her, Ruda was her home after she became an adult. Ruda with Shi Ci was her happy nest.
Now she doesn't want any of it.
Tang Zhao felt a burning pain in her heart, perhaps because of the wind and the dust that blinded her eyes. She reached out to wipe it, leaving two water marks on her fingertips.
"Let's break up." She had been tortured and hurt for too long, and she was exhausted. Maybe breaking up was the best choice. Maybe first love would never be perfect and was destined to break up. Maybe she should be the first to make it clear.
After she finished speaking, she lowered her eyes, stood up and walked away, her eyes were hazy.
Before she reached the door, Shi Ci grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Tang Zuo fell into her arms, and Shi Ci hugged her tightly.
Shi Ci's breath was urgent and excited. Her body was shaking slightly and her voice was trembling, "... I don't agree!"
Tang Zhuo sat downstairs of Yixiu Building from dusk till dark. Her legs were swollen and red from mosquito bites, but she seemed unconscious. Her luggage had been sent to Beicheng, and there was only a suitcase and a backpack left in the dormitory. She could leave at any time and anywhere. This departure was a real farewell.
She didn't dare to look back at that time. She could hear Shi Ci sobbing and she seemed to be crying.
I'm sorry... Thank you...
Tang Zuo couldn't help crying again.
It was her fault. Everything was her fault.
She didn't dare go upstairs. She seemed to be delaying consciously, delaying the time she spent in Ruda a little longer, and extending the time she spent in the same city with her. She estimated that she would be in pain for a very long time, but it didn't matter, this was what she deserved.
Summer goes and winter comes, the seasons change, and this is not affected by human will.
I was too busy to think about anything else, and the days just passed by one by one.
The city of Nancheng is covered with golden ginkgo leaves, dotted with snowflakes, which looks like a scene from an art film.
On Christmas Eve, Shi Ci was home alone and had no appetite. He ate just two bites and stopped eating.
The room is filled with music, "Hey babe, what you expect to say
icould tell you that i\'m doing great, but darling i\'m just not okay... "
Shi Ci couldn't bear to listen any longer, so he turned off the phone. Then Miu's phone rang in time, "What are you busy with? Want to go out for a drink?"
Before Shi Ci could answer, Sister Miu laughed, "Don't worry, I'm alone. Even Su Su won't come. It's just you and me."
Sister Miu chose a jazz bar. There was a resident band playing live. There were couples dancing to the music in groups of three or four on the dance floor. The light and shadows were flowing, and there was a bit of the atmosphere of an old Shanghai bar.
The two sat at the bar, with their backs to the stage, drinking one drink after another.
"Look how loyal I am. I'm not accompanying my girlfriend but coming to accompany you." Alcohol is no different from water to Miu.
Shi Ci chuckled, but it wasn't a big smile.
She hadn't drunk alcohol for a long time and hadn't eaten much, so after three or four glasses she was a little tipsy. She didn't say much and was very taciturn.
At this time, the music paused, and a mellow and magnetic female voice sang, "I can't forget, I can't forget, I can't forget your mistakes, I can't forget your kindness..."
Shi Ci's heart was struck. She blinked and paused raising the glass. Tiny spots of light reflected the mist in her eyes. She choked and drank it all in one gulp.
Sister Miu glanced at her. It was rare to see Shi Ci so heartbroken. She wanted to tease her, but felt it was a bit unkind, so she could only drink with her in silence.
After a few more drinks, the heroine hummed a tune and danced slowly. She had already sung, "I can't forget the taste of separation, nor the pain of missing you..."
Shi Ci's eyes welled up with tears and he gently wiped them away with his fingers.
Miu not only did not sympathize, but wanted to laugh, "I remember you told me before that you were looking forward to love, looking forward to the feeling of loving to the point of pain. Now you see that you have got what you wanted, how does it feel?"
Shi Ci choked and looked at her.
Sister Miu raised her eyebrows and this time she really laughed out loud. She pinched Shi Ci's face while laughing, "Oh, oh, you're still feeling wronged, right? Okay, okay, sister is wrong!"
When Shi Ci heard the word "sister", her stomach suddenly ached. She asked, "Who wants to call you sister?"
Sister Miu blinked, "Then I should call you sister?"
Shi Ci turned his back towards her.
Sister Miu held back her laughter. "Okay, okay, let's not talk nonsense. I came to accompany you tonight just to listen to you talk, but you have to say it. Don't hold it in."
"Isn't it just being dumped?"
"It's no big deal. You can't be the one dumping people every time, right? You have to be fair."
Shi Ci couldn't stand it anymore and turned back, "Are you sure you are here to comfort me?"
Sister Miu stopped talking in time, with an expression that said, "I won't say anything more, I'll listen to you."
"..." Shi Ci couldn't say anything after a long pause, "You and Boss Su have been together for quite a while, how did you do it?"
"We don't have high expectations for each other. No, I should say that we have almost no expectations, so any action is a surprise." Sister Miu smiled and shook her wine glass. She was probably a little drunk. She began to recite a poem, "Don't love so much, just a little. Other people's love is as deep as the sea, but my love is shallow."
Shi Ci: "...What's all this mess?"
Miu continued, "I don't love too much, I only love a little. Other people's love is as long as the sky, but my love is short."
Shi Ci listened with a frown, drank another cup, sighed, and rested his forehead on the back of his hand, "Am I... wrong? I should have asked her to stay and not let her leave..."
"But she left so abruptly..."
Shi Ci put down the wine glass, the alcohol smoked her eyes, she lowered her head, and could no longer hold back her tears.
The author has something to say: Thank you to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated me with nutrient solution~
Thanks to the little angel who cast [shallow water bomb]: 35695028 1;
Thanks to the little angels who cast [rocket launchers]: Yi Nian Yi Cheng, Bao Jia Milk Tea Shop Give Deng Deng a seat, Lin Xiaozong, Yu Di Gege, □□ 1;
Thanks to the little angels who threw [hand grenades]: Shangsi 5; I will have a cat, Jingge, Xinren 2222, ai, poooooooop, passers-by are just passing by, Park Ji-yeon is my wife, kinki, and student Shin Yoon-bok 1;
Thanks to the little angels who cast [mines]: l? 4; jing, kaka 3; zowen, shepherd, little shoot vacuum cleaner, sense of existence yy, didi didi didi didi meina, a grapefruit, clear, 941024, nowhere to put, Zuo Zuo loves to eat meat 2; Lai Meiyun's koala mom, a small dried fish, young Wei Anyu, chenhui, if, love, passers-by just pass by, the little blacksmith who collects keys, enough to choke Wen, Qiyi, Girls' Generation, 39227835, a coin of Misaka, the cloud is deep and you know where it is, my conscience Eaten by a dog, Leng Fei, k250yui, scientist, little witty, laughing pig, Bu Er, have you written Wu San today, Jiang Lansheng, ten years of lights, stranger, separation, Zongzi is not cultivating immortals today, cotton candy, simple, married woman, むめぃ, too handsome to name randomly, love gentle Xiao Xiaowan the most, A Zhui is cool, celery, Mu Linda, aha, cyjhff, Patrick and SpongeBob, cute cat fungus, want, a voice, carton, cho, sad ~, SpongeBob and Patrick, Nana, Qi Chen, Afternoon tea., Dao Xiangyue, erebus, reckless, Xin Kele, 26522247, Mu Yuan, Mu Sheng, a cute girl who can attack or receive, Ms. Cai's invisible girlfriend, did you water the tree today, carmen, I love to read, Meng, Lu Li, hahaha I don't want to live, Gui Suining, lambenn, Mr. Cheng, ljwhebe, Yo Alas 5 Yeah, Buddha pity 1;
Thanks to the little angel who irrigated [nutrient solution]:
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Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!