The climate of Beicheng is very different from that of Nancheng, especially after autumn, when the moisture in the air seems to have been drained away.
Tang Zuo fell ill shortly after school started. First he had gastroenteritis, and when he was feeling better he developed a fever.
When Zhang Zinan came to the school hospital to see her, she was half-sitting on the white hospital bed, receiving an IV drip, with her pale face lowered, silent as a stone.
Zhang Zinan seemed to have returned to four years ago, when they had just met and were not familiar with each other. Tang Zuo was also so cold and distant, and no strangers were allowed to approach her.
Tang Zuo only realized that she was coming at this time. He raised his head and slightly raised the corners of his lips towards her.
Zhang Zinan felt a pang in his heart, but he also smiled, "What's wrong with you? You've been in Beicheng for so long, and now you're suffering from acclimatization?"
Yes, last year was so hard, with internship, CATTI exam preparation, and graduation thesis, she didn't dare to rest for a moment. She was busy with her studies and livelihood, but also seemed to be avoiding her emotions.
It was so busy and fulfilling, and she didn't get sick even though she didn't get enough sleep.
Now that she was enrolled in school and was single again, with enough money in her bank account to cover a year's living expenses, she had prepared and settled everything she needed to. Suddenly, her body relaxed, as if telling her, "It's OK. You can get sick now."
Since Shi Ci came to Beicheng to look for her last year, after their unpleasant meeting, they have been busy with their own things. Tang Zhuo saw Shi Ci in her circle of friends, sometimes in Tokyo, sometimes in San Francisco, and sometimes in Zhencheng, very busy. It seems that without him by her side, she can take time to do her own things. She seems to be unaffected and she is better...
Tang Zuo lowered his head again.
"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you in a daze?" Zhang Zinan waved his hand in front of her to attract her attention.
The curve of Tang Zhao's lips widened a little, still with a hint of bitterness. Zhang Zinan sighed inwardly, and she smoothed her pencil skirt with both hands. The skirt was too narrow. She sat sideways on the bed and said gently, "You should have told me earlier."
Should I tell her that I am sick earlier or tell her that we broke up earlier
Or maybe both.
"You are so busy." Tang Zuo said softly.
Zhang Zinan successfully got a job at the company where she interned. She was so busy that she had to go out early and come back late. She wore a suit, light makeup, and a pair of five or six centimeter high heels with thick heels, which she walked briskly. She had already left the ivory tower and adapted to the pace of society.
"No matter how busy I am, I can always find time to come and see you," Zhang Zinan patted her feet, "Are you feeling better? Is there anything you want to eat?"
The porridge and fruit that Zhang Zinan ordered were delivered. She accompanied Tang Zuo to eat some, and talked to her about work and some trivial daily matters. Perhaps it was because of the company that Tang Zuo's mental state improved a lot.
Zhang Zinan insisted on accompanying her until she finished the IV drip and returned to the dormitory with her. It was too late, so they stayed in her dormitory.
The dormitory conditions for graduate students are very good, with double rooms and all the necessary facilities and equipment.
After washing up, the two of them squeezed into the 1.2-meter bed to sleep. Zhang Zinan whispered to her about Fang Xiuqi, saying that as a programmer he was much busier than her. They couldn't live together now because their companies were too far away and they could only see each other once a week. It really felt like a reunion after a short separation.
Tang Zuo listened quietly. They all liked such bedtime whispers. It gave them a sense of intimacy like sisters, as if they could share anything.
Zhang Zinan couldn't help but ask her whether her relationship with Professor Shi was impossible and why they broke up.
It’s been so long, and the things I cared about at the time don’t seem to matter anymore. It’s just that the depressed and sad emotions are stuck in my heart without reservation, “It’s all my fault…”
Zhang Zinan looked at her while lying on his side. "Tsk, tsk, emotional matters are like drinking water, and it's not good for outsiders to butt in. But I still have to say this, unless you really know where you did something wrong, don't easily say things like 'it's all my fault'."
Tang Zuo was stunned.
I spent the rest of the night pondering the meaning of this sentence.
On the night of Double Eleven, Tang Zuo went to a dance party. It was invited by her senior brothers and sisters in the same school, so it was hard to refuse. In a small auditorium, most of the people who came were graduate students, and there were also foreign students. There was free pizza and wine.
There was no heating in the auditorium, and many girls were still wearing dresses, so naturally there were polite gentlemen who put their coats on them and took the opportunity to invite them to dance. Both parties were willing and had a lot of fun.
Tang Zhuo was wearing a white turtleneck sweater and jeans, and even though she was sitting in a remote corner, she was still very eye-catching. A few boys came over to chat with her, but when they saw that she was not very interested, they walked away tactfully.
The person she was chatting with now was a foreign student from France, who spoke English with a heavy accent.
They were under a tree in the auditorium, and there was a cold moon above the tree.
The international student had chestnut hair, brown eyes, a high nose, and looked very charming despite not being able to tell her age. After chatting for a few rounds, Tang Zuo realized that the girl was flirting with her.
"I don't know if you are, but I told myself I had to ask, or I would regret it."
Tang Zhao was a little embarrassed and at the same time a little confused. Apart from Shi Ci, she didn't seem to have any special feelings for other girls.
"Hey, honey, you're daydreaming," the foreign student came over and brushed her hair lightly, "Should we go to your dormitory or mine?"
Tang Zhuo came to his senses and refused awkwardly, "Sorry."
The international student still didn't give up, "I see you're alone? Aren't you lonely?"
Tang paused, "I'm not single. Sorry."
After escaping, Tang Zuo found a quiet place to sit.
The winter night wind is chilly, but the campus is very lively, especially on Singles' Day tonight. There are a lot of couples, and young hearts cannot stand a moment of loneliness.
Zhang Zinan came to see her, dressed very beautifully in a yellow sweater jacket, a black leather skirt, a beret, and a pair of suede boots. She ran towards her as soon as she got out of the taxi.
The person on the phone said that he had good news for her. Before Tang Zhao could ask, he pointed his finger in front of her.
The diamond on the ring finger sparkles brightly.
Tang Zuo blinked and looked at her in surprise.
"That's right, I got on his bandit ship in high school, and today I finally became his wife!"
Tang Zhuo burst out laughing and pulled her hand, "Congratulations! That's great!"
Zhang Zinan held her hand tightly, "You know what? The first thing I did after I put on the ring was to take a taxi over here to tell you, hahaha."
"What about Fang Xiuqi?"
"He went to my house to meet my parents." Zhang Zinan smiled.
"When is the wedding?"
"Not so fast, but you have to be my bridesmaid then! It's a deal!"
Tang Zuo readily agreed.
The two held hands and talked for a long time. Tang Zhuo rarely smiled sincerely. Happiness can also infect others. She didn't know why her eyes were a little sore. She was so excited that she was even a little incoherent. "That's great, Nannan, it's really great. I'm so happy. I wish you all the best. That's great..."
Zhang Zinan was stunned for a moment, and his eyes suddenly turned red, "You want to make me cry..."
She hugged Tang Zuo and cried incoherently, "You are too silly. If it were someone else, they would be jealous of me... Wuuwuwu, you might think I am showing off, but I just want to share with you as soon as possible... You have bad luck, I want to share some luck with you... Let's be happy together, wuuwuwu..."
Zhang Zinan felt that she was extremely lucky. She had a happy family since childhood, found love in high school, and now her career had just started and she had a successful love life. However, she felt extremely distressed for her good friend Tang Zuo, who was all alone in Beicheng.
After Zhang Zinan left, Tang Zuo was still sitting under the tree.
It was late at night and the campus was quiet. It was getting colder outside and Tang Zhao's feet were frozen. She looked up and saw the night sky was soft and shiny, like the ocean and dark blue velvet.
Good news from friends brings a warm feeling of joy, but after a while, it is invaded by the ruthless cold wind. Cold wind, cold moon, cold night, all alone in a city.
Time seemed to stop for a moment, she thought of Shi Ci, and her eyes felt burning again.
Where is she now? Does she still think about me? Does she have a new girlfriend
Does she act coquettishly towards others? Does she kiss others tenderly
At this moment, Tang Zhao felt a dull pain of suffocation in his chest, which did not ease for a long time.
She put on her headphones and listened to the song on her phone that she hadn't opened for a long time, "... I am so lucky to meet you on this planet and light up my fleeting life. No one can stay in my thoughts like you..."
The night wind made her shoulders tremble slightly, her eyes were full of tears, and her mind flashed with fragments of their time together, one scene after another, so clear. Shi Ci's eyebrows, her smile, the way she leaned in to kiss her, the sound of her calling her...
She has left so many profound marks in my life that no one can match.
No matter when or where, Tang Zuo thought, she couldn't erase it.
She loved me deeply, and I didn't love her enough.
Tears fell drop by drop.
I don't know how to love her.
Tang Zhao suddenly realized that all along when she was getting along with Shi Ci, she had always treated Shi Ci as an older person whom she could rely on. She was used to Shi Ci's initiative and her thoughtfulness, and ignored the fact that she was actually also a girl with a soft and sensitive heart. She was also a pearl in the palm of her parents' hands and needed to be well cared for and loved.
Love is different from family affection. It requires mutual expression, and more importantly, communication, compromise, repair, and reinforcement.
What Zhang Zinan said made sense. Only at this moment did she realize where she had not done well enough.
"It's all my fault" is no longer an empty statement. Once you say it, you must take responsibility and find ways to make amends.
"… If you are still with me after we part, I would rather have regrets than be far away from you…"
Tang Zhuo thought heartbrokenly, what a terrible girlfriend she was. No, she used to be such a terrible girlfriend. But now she was not qualified to say that. It was she who lost Shi Ci. She did not know how to cherish him.
Feelings were like a flower bud that had matured without her knowing when. Before she knew how to take care of it, it had been knocked down by a sudden storm. She had never escaped from the most severe and desperate circumstances in her life. This time, the pain and entanglement she had never encountered in her life, so she instinctively became a deserter. Now it was no use to regret it.
On the night of Double Eleven, she was alone in the unfamiliar campus, crying uncontrollably.
Time flies, and Christmas is coming in a few days. Tang Zhao and her roommates plan to buy some things online to decorate the dormitory. She clicked on Taobao and saw a line of words: "Brother, old autographed album, for sale, price negotiable."
Tang Zhuo clicked on it and jumped to the link of Xianyu. She scrolled down and her eyes suddenly focused. She clicked it and took a closer look.
It turned out to be the CD of Mr. Leslie Cheung’s 1999 album “Countdown with You”, and “Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter” was included in it.
There was a signature in the corner, but the picture was too small and blurry, so she couldn't see it clearly and could only privately tag the seller.
The seller came online 20 minutes later and answered a few questions. He said it was a real album, signed, and from his mother's collection. The price was not low, he offered 7,000 yuan for this one, and no bargaining was allowed.
Tang Zuo asked him to take a clearer photo of the signature and show it to her.
She took the photo and compared it with the authentic signature on the Internet that was said to be her brother's, but she couldn't be sure for a long time.
The other party was a little impatient and urged her to make a decision.
Tang Zhao checked her savings. If she really bought the album, she would have to live a tight life for the next few months. But the album was so tempting that she gritted her teeth and paid.
After buying it, she couldn't help but smile and asked him when it could be shipped.
He said it could be delivered today. I'll give her the tracking number when I go to send the express in the evening.
Tang Zuo laughed again, fell on the bed, and took a deep breath.
She was in a good mood for the whole day. She went to Taobao, quickly selected some decorations, placed an order, cleaned the house, and tidied up the bookshelf.
She just moved mechanically, but she was planning over and over again in her mind, how to give it to Shi Ci? Should she send the album to Shi Hai and ask him to pass it on, or send it directly to the school? Should she write the address of the college or the address of the teacher's apartment? Will she be happy to get this album? Just treat it as a birthday gift for her...
I was always worried and finished the work without realizing it.
It was very late at night, but she still didn't receive the order number information.
I couldn't help but poke the seller again, only to find a new conversation in the original dialog box, "Hello, the person I was talking to this morning was my son. He was ignorant and took my private albums to sell on Xianyu without consulting me. I just discovered it. I'm really sorry, I'm afraid your transaction with him has to be cancelled. Please give me your Alipay account and I'll transfer the money back to you. I'm so sorry."
It was a bolt from the blue.
Tang Zuo couldn't help but send her a message, trying to be as sincere as possible, saying that she really wanted the album and asked her to give it up, and she was willing to pay more.
The other party said that it was not a matter of money. Mr. Leslie Cheung is no longer with us. These signatures were handed to her by her own hands when she was young. She watched him sign them with her own hands. Each one holds unique memories. Memories are priceless. Please understand.
Tang Zuo felt desperate.
She originally thought that she had encountered such a coincidence, as if God was telling her that there was still hope and salvation, but it turned out to be a false alarm
Shi Ci went to wash his face and came back feeling a little more sober. When he came back, he saw someone sitting next to Sister Miu at the bar.
She was wearing a long coat, a thin sweater and a short skirt underneath, and long boots. She turned her head to look at her, lifted her long hair, and the diamond ring on her finger sparkled. She raised her chin slightly, smiling, "Long time no see."
Shi Ci nodded, "Wenwen."
The author has something to say: Thank you all for the lively discussions over these chapters.
The emotional transitions in these chapters are quite important, and the main text has entered the countdown chapters. Those who can't wait can wait until September to read it. Thank you to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated me with nutrient solution~
Thanks to the little angels who cast [deep-water torpedo]: p!nkman, 35695028, ai 1;
Thanks to the little angels who threw [bazooka]: 2 for Yitou Xiaoyugan; 1 for Yinbi, Lin Xiaozong, Shangsi, Yi Nian Yi Cheng, Bao Jia Milk Tea Shop, Dengdeng Sit, kenq, and Wei Sheng;
Thanks to the little angels who threw [hand grenades]: A person who is very different must become a demon, Shangsi, Zhizunbao, Haha I don’t want to live anymore, Xinren2222, Mo Ran, sixty, 3764 1;
Thanks to the little angels who cast [mines]: nora 5; snail Tongtong 4; one house two children three meals four seasons, Huangliang, passers-by just pass by 3; Chibi Maruko, I love reading, Xiaoshoot vacuum cleaner, 17080749, the underworld tycoon behind the author, 941024, Lao Wu 2; sixty, say I love you 1314l, procrastination free elf, simple, have you written the fifth three today, eat and wait to die invincible in the world, sense of existence yy, auspicious clouds and swallows, Mu Linda, joan, Jiang Lansheng, Meng, lll, km, dk, sr, walking in the sun, the cloud is deep, the lonely forest hermit, lx, plasma flower milk oil cake, Antarctica, mango, Lai Meiyun's koala mom, Fuji, wild vines, scientist, mourning ~, なとりさん, a moon bazhizhao, Wuhua salty spoon white, high cold square, originally, Zuo Zuo loves to eat meat, Xin Kele also, cold flying, jonse, stranded 171, ten years of lights, tang, Ji Tianwang, Didi Didi Didi mena, the little blacksmith who collects keys, Shuishui, zowen, red leaves, Xiaop, cotton candy, stupid sheep wants to fly, lambenn, a grapefruit, sweet or not, cho, do you like sweets, poooooooop, Junyi, Huanchen, fe 1;
Thanks to the little angel who irrigated [nutrient solution]:
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Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!