eighty eight
You Shu almost forgot what it was like to go shopping in a supermarket. He was squeezed in the crowd with some discomfort. He had to protect his elder sister and be careful of his younger sister. He was surrounded by people who came to buy New Year's goods. Everywhere he looked, there were people everywhere. There was no place to breathe.
The cart was already filled with New Year's goods, including all kinds of food and drinks. You Shu was tall, handsome, and well-educated, and he looked very similar to the ancient body. He was too conspicuous in the crowd. People were always whispering about him around him, and occasionally a bold girl would come over and ask for the QR code, which would have been an unlikely scene in ancient times.
You Shu suddenly had the illusion that he was being torn out of this world, and he felt a little dazed.
"Brother!?" Xiaoyue patted him anxiously, "I called you so many times, what are you doing?"
You Shu came back to his senses and finally saw his little sister's face. He pushed the cart towards her and squeezed for a long time before he got to her side. He explained, "There were too many people just now, and I didn't hear you call me."
You Yuan looked back at him with some worry in her eyes.
After buying the New Year's goods, Xiaoyueer was clamoring to set off fireworks again, so the three of them went to the fireworks store to have a look. You Shu sat in the car and looked at the street scene outside the window, but what he was thinking about was Xiao Weixin who was far away.
The past two days at home were so wonderful that he gradually regained the carefree feeling he had when he was protected by his parents. However, being too happy made him feel uneasy. He was always worried about his prince.
Does returning to my own world inexplicably mean that I am already dead in that world
If he died, what would happen to his prince
You Shu felt breathless when he thought of this. He knew better than anyone the loneliness and pain hidden deep in Xiao Weixin's heart. They had just confirmed their relationship and now they were facing this ending. No one could accept it.
When You Shu thought about how he was living a happy life here while Xiao Weixin was left alone and helpless there, he felt a sharp pain in his chest.
If only he hadn't ruined the plot, then even if he left, Xiao Weixin might still fall in love with Xia Yinxiu like in the original plot, and wouldn't become alone because of his departure.
You Shu looked at the scene outside the window and seemed to see Xiao Weixin being lonely and desolate.
Why can't there be the best of both worlds
It is really too difficult for him to make a choice between his family and his lover.
——
October 2nd.
After Xiao Weixin came back from the study, he sat alone in the dormitory again. He had been sitting like this for the past few days since Xiao Shu disappeared. No one was allowed to be in the room, not even Hua Chun was allowed to stay here.
He picked up the diaries that he had read many times from the bedside table and opened them again.
"I got injured during training today and lost a large chunk of flesh from my leg."
"Master Shadow said I was just an inch away from death, and I am lucky to be alive."
'He also said that men shouldn't cry just because they're in pain, because that's pathetic, so I didn't shed a single tear.'
'Now that I think about it, I'm really good. When I was a kid, my mother would blow my nose whenever I bumped a little.'
"I will definitely be able to become a cool and handsome man like Master Yingshou in the future."
…
"Although what the Shadow Chief said is right, I also plan to be a cool man in the future."
"But mom, please blow it to me again in my dream today."
'I'm in so much pain.'
"No one will know what happened in my dream. When I go out, I am still a cool guy."
…
'It's Chinese New Year again. This is my fourth New Year in the Shadow Guard Battalion.'
'It's a pity that there weren't such beautiful fireworks shows to watch in ancient times.'
"Although it's not that lively, it's nice to be with my brothers."
"The film leader even gave us some money to ward off evil spirits. We were all very happy. After a busy year, we finally had something to look forward to."
"I seem to have twice as many as others, and the Shadow Chief even secretly took me out to eat at a restaurant."
'It must be because I'm so outstanding. Who wouldn't like me?'
"It would be nice if there were fireworks to watch."
'Happy New Year, Mom and Dad.'
…
'Today seems like it's my birthday. Another year has passed. It's so fast.'
'Of course no one has given me any presents here, not even a cake.'
"But in ancient times, being alive was good enough, so why would you need a bicycle?"
'Even if no one gives me blessings, I can still live on my own.'
'Happy birthday, Xiaoshu.'
"Keep looking this handsome tomorrow too."
…
When Xiao Weixin turned to this page, something flashed in his eyes. He put down the diary and took out a small box from his arms. When he opened it, there was a jade pendant inside.
He took out the jade and fumbled with it repeatedly. Under the sunlight, he could clearly see the words "You Shu" engraved on the back of the jade. He had asked a craftsman to spend two months to complete it. He promised to give it to Xiao Shu as a longevity pendant on his birthday. He only remembered it when the craftsman delivered it to his house two days ago. Now that the item has arrived, he doesn't know how to send it away.
October 2nd was Xiao Shu's birthday, but he didn't make it to his return.
Xiao Weixin looked at the immortality pendant again and again, put it to his lips, closed his eyes and kissed it gently.
"Happy birthday, Xiaoshu."
"Come back to me soon."
———
On New Year's Eve, You Shu watched TV in the living room with his family. He sat with his parents, holding a bottle of Fat House Happy Water. The skits on TV were not that funny, but You Shu still couldn't help laughing. You's mother laughed happily and kept patting You Shu's hands.
You Shu was peeling a pear with a fruit knife, but he was distracted by watching TV and accidentally cut his hand. When he felt the pain and lowered his head to look, blood flowed down his index finger.
Before he could react, You's mother exclaimed and jumped up to treat him. Xiaoyue went upstairs to get the medicine box. You's mother held his hand distressedly and said, "Oh, it's true. Mommy will blow on it for you."
You Shu didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so he took his hand back and wiped it with tissue paper. He said absentmindedly, "It's not a serious injury. It's not serious."
"Why not?" Mother You still felt distressed. She pushed him to sit down and found iodine from the medicine box that Xiao Yue brought to disinfect him. She kept nagging him, "Didn't you cry for a while when you bumped into something before? How can you heal so quickly if I blow on your wound?"
You Shu was stunned, and thought for a long time before saying: "That was when I was a kid. This little injury doesn't hurt at all. I used to..."
He opened his mouth and wanted to say that getting injured was a common occurrence in the Shadow Guard Camp, and the wounds caused by the knife were not worth mentioning at all, but he swallowed the words back when they reached his lips.
How can I talk about those experiences
If mom really knew, given her personality, she would probably be so heartbroken that she would cry her heart out, right
Thinking about it this way, it’s a good thing that it was a soul traveling across time and space, otherwise the scars on my body would be hard to explain.
After treating the wound, You's mother carefully covered it with a Band-Aid. A small wound of a few centimeters was made to look like a surgery. You Shu stared at his neatly bandaged finger and was unable to recover for a long time.
It turns out that even after such a long time, he still longs for the warmth of his family.
You Yuan sat aside and looked at him, the worry in her eyes deepened.
The family stayed up all night watching the Spring Festival Gala. At midnight, they heard the sound of firecrackers outside. You Shu and his family wished each other a Happy New Year, yawned, and went back to their rooms.
After entering the bedroom, You Shu did not turn on the light. He took off his clothes, wrapped himself in a quilt and sat in front of the window. He looked through the glass at the darkness outside. Under the dim light from the garden lights, he saw that it was snowing.
Only in the dead of night like this could You Shu quietly recall Xiao Weixin.
He was already very contented after having spent the New Year with his family. This scene had appeared in his dreams countless times. Now that he was finally back, he began to miss the prince terribly. Perhaps human beings are inherently contradictory.
I wonder what their prince is doing now, and whether he is sad for him.
He should cry, right
You Shu only saw him cry once, that was the night when Concubine Xian died, he knelt in front of the coffin in mourning clothes and cried until his eyes turned red. At that time, he hid behind a pillar, feeling very sad for him, but he could not go forward to comfort the boy who lost his mother's protection overnight.
Now, he was also unable to comfort him, but he wondered if there was someone hiding somewhere who would share his sadness.
He... wanted to go back.
You Shu stared blankly at the snowflakes floating in front of his window. It turned out that the reason he had been restless these days was only because he still longed for that person.
There was a knock on the door. You Shu wrapped himself in the quilt and looked back at the door for a while. He was a little reluctant to open it, but finally said:
"come in."
The door was opened from the outside, and the warm corridor light shone in through the gap, like a ray of light pouring into his heart. You Yuan stood at the door and looked at him quietly. The brother and sister sat and stood in silence, with only a short distance between them, but they looked very far away.
After an unknown amount of time, You Yuan took a step inside, but she did not turn around and close the door. She just whispered, "Xiao Shu, what are you thinking about?"
You Shu was stunned, "I..."
He wanted to say that he didn't think of anything, but he didn't want to lie to his sister.
You Yuan sat down at the end of his bed, and watched the snow outside the window with him. Suddenly, she whispered, "Do you remember when you were little, you told me that you wanted me to take you skiing in the future?"
You Shu thought about it carefully and vaguely had this impression: "It seems so."
You Yuan chuckled, her tone somewhat nostalgic: "If only I hadn't had any concerns at that time, I would have taken you there directly."
“That way there won’t be so many regrets.”
You Shu heard the deep meaning in her words and couldn't help but look over.
You Yuan took his injured hand and held it in her own. Suddenly, she burst into tears and said, "Xiao Shu must have suffered a lot out there, right?"
"You've changed a lot from before." You Yuan smiled and cried at the same time, "Before, even when you cried, you always smiled a little bit, but now, even if you look happy, your eyes are always full of sadness."
"Xiao Shu, sister misses you very much."
You Shu stood there in a daze.
"elder sister… "
You Yuan raised her head, tears welling up in her eyes. There were a lot of emotions in her eyes as she looked at You Shu, so hot that he dared not look directly at her. His sister was never one to show her emotions openly, but the sight of her crying and saying these things in front of him caused a strong shock to You Shu's heart.
He really wanted to hug her and tell her that he missed her too.
"Xiao Shu, you actually understand." You Yuan wiped away her tears, raised her hand and gently touched You Shu's face, reluctantly saying:
"As much as I want this dream to continue, but..."
"There's always a day to wake up, right?"
It was as if You Shu's mind was split by an axe, and the realities on both sides kept pulling at him, trying to pull him into an unknown abyss.
"You obviously know that all this is fake."
You Yuan burst into tears. She finally couldn't help hugging him, holding him in her arms like when they were little, and choked up and said, "I really want to take you away, but this may not be your wish."
"Xiao Shu, it's time for you to make a choice."
You Shu's eyes widened. He tried to look up at his sister, but he could only see her chin which was stubborn and refused to lower its head.
"elder sister… "
Just as she said, he had long known that this was just a dream that could not be more real than it was. No matter how beautiful it was, the cold pendant around his neck always reminded him that it was all an illusion.
Perhaps, this was just a pipe dream before he died in reality, and he didn't want to expose it, so he pretended not to know.
In fact, he never went back from beginning to end. Maybe he is still sinking at the bottom of the cold river with no one paying attention to him. All the beautiful things were just his fantasy before he died.
You Shu finally burst into tears out of fear. He hugged his sister's arms tightly and poured out all his fear and reluctance to her.
He didn't want to die alone.
"Let's go." You Yuan tried hard to hold on, "Xiao Shu, make the choice you want to make and return to the person you should return to."
You Shu hugged her tightly and refused to speak, his whole body trembling slightly.
"Even if it was in a dream, Xiao Shu came back to spend the New Year with us, and we were very satisfied."
"You have to know that no matter where you are, my parents and I will always love you, no matter the past or the future."
"We may have a chance to meet again in the future. Xiao Shu will come back to us one day."
"On that day, bring us the person you like."
You Yuan patted his back and gave him a gentle push.
You Shu looked up and saw that the warm room was rapidly falling apart, and You Yuan's figure was gradually disappearing.
You Shu didn't reach out to pull her because he knew this would happen sooner or later.
Since it is a dream, there will always be a day when you wake up.
He fell into a lonely darkness and slowly closed his eyes.