Who is he? Don’t you know he’s your cousin? "It’s not that I don’t understand what Feng Zhenyang meant. He just meant to say that Feng Zhenqing is not a good person. I also think Lin Ruoxue is not a good person! So when Feng Zhenyang said Feng Zhenqing was not a good person, I deliberately contradicted him: "You have known him for so many years! Do you still need to ask me who he is?"
I am usually quite reasonable, but today, Feng Zhenyang must have been pissed off, and I instantly turned into an unreasonable shrew. No! Shen Jiaying, you can’t do this! Look at what you have become now! Although you are already in your thirties, you can’t turn into a whining menopausal old lady!
Feng Zhenyang knew very well that I did this on purpose. His handsome face was covered with dark clouds, and he looked like he was about to get angry and beat someone up! But he thought he was very graceful, so he didn't beat anyone up. He taught her a lesson: "Shen Jiaying! Can't you just speak properly? Do you think I'm saying this to protect Xiaoxue? I'm telling you, I know better than you who is a beast and who is a human in this family!"
"Yes, you know! Of course you know! Your heart is biased! You know it!" Once this man gets impulsive, he can say any bastard thing. At that time, in my eyes, Feng Zhenyang's heart was indeed biased. Compared with Lin Ruoxue, who was related to him by blood, I was an outsider.
To everyone in his family, I am a sudden outsider. It is me who suddenly broke into their lives, it is me who disrupted their rhythm of life, it is me who changed the original peace and tranquility. In short, I am an outsider. What qualifications does an outsider have to say something bad about other family members? Isn't that just asking for trouble
Before I married Feng Zhenyang, I really didn't know that he had such a close cousin. If I had known earlier, I would probably... have argued with him a long time ago, or I would not have had any relationship with him at all, and would not have gotten married out of necessity!
Feng Zhenyang closed his eyes and did not get angry as I expected. Instead, he patiently explained to me: "Xiaoxue is just my sister! She is like my own sister! I admit that I was really too angry to say that! In this family, many things are not as simple as they seem."
"Feng Zhenqing, he and I actually have no blood relationship at all. He was adopted by my grandfather, and his household registration says he's my uncle's son. But my uncle doesn't like him, and the two of them have no feelings for each other. People in the family are polite to him on the surface, but secretly, few people like him." Feng Zhenyang paused, as if he was lost in memory: "When I was young, my brothers and sisters didn't fight for fame and fortune like they do now."
"But even then, my brothers and sisters didn't like him. Of course, it wasn't because he wasn't of our Feng family that he was excluded. Logically, he was well-behaved when he was little, and everyone should have liked to play with him. But he was a sinister person since he was little. A five or six-year-old child could push another five or six-year-old child into the pond, and in front of the adults, he created the illusion that the child fell into the pond because he was naughty. A five or six-year-old child could have such a deep and vicious heart. Do you think he is a kind person? Why don't you think about the fact that he was the one who pierced your foot and then pretended to be a good person and sent you to the hospital?"
Is Feng Zhenqing that kind of person? He doesn't look like that? Is he the legendary smiling tiger? Now that I think about it, it seems that there is something a little bit wrong! How come he appeared just when I pricked my foot, and he even told me that it was Lin Ruoxue who hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally.
It would be hard to explain if there was nothing strange about this, but even so, I don’t think Lin Ruoxue is a good person. Maybe she is very kind to Feng Zhenyang, but to me, I can only say haha.
Therefore, Feng Zhenyang told me so much. In addition to making me be on guard against Feng Zhenqing, I still insisted on not liking Lin Ruoxue: "Yes! Maybe Feng Zhenqing is really not a good person, but this does not prove that Lin Ruoxue is a good person! Feng Zhenyang, when my foot is healed, I have to leave here! Otherwise, I haven't figured out why my own mother went crazy yet! I will go crazy first!"
I didn't scare him. How long have I been in their house? I hurt my foot. Most importantly, I also lost the movie I was working on with Zhu Jingye. If I continue like this, I will not only go crazy, but also lose my job! What I fear most is losing my job. Now my family will not be in any danger, but what about me? Now I can't make movies, and I have to be watched every day. I may be harmed at any time, and the only person I can trust doesn't trust me that much.
From the beginning, I knew that I was not suitable for a wealthy family. There are intrigues in the entertainment industry, but most of the time they are open and the purpose is obvious, unlike in the Feng family mansion, where it is difficult to tell who is the enemy and who is the friend. I was afraid, and I didn't have the energy to think about fighting with them. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, I'm really more afraid of this feeling, I feel like I'm back to when I was more than ten years younger and first entered the entertainment industry.
Feng Zhenyang knew that feeling very well, and he also knew me well enough. So this time he didn't play rogue with me, but reached out and hugged me in his arms, and said in a gentle and calm voice: "Shen Jiaying, I am still here at home! Who dares to drive you crazy? Don't think about it all day long, okay? It's just a small matter. Where did you go when you were so fierce against the old man?"
"How can it be the same? We weren't at the Feng family at that time, so why should I be afraid?" I slowly pulled away his hand that was around me, and after some hesitation, I finally mustered up the courage to speak: "I am not suitable for this place, and I am not suitable for you. I am incompatible with this place. I feel that it is very painful for me to stay here. Do you understand?"
Staying in Feng's house was indeed very painful for me. I felt like a bird in a cage. Moreover, I was a bird at the mercy of others. I was very conflicted. I wanted to stay, whether for Feng Zhenyang or for my mother, but I was also afraid. I was afraid that I would go crazy or die before I could accomplish anything, and my soul would be forever imprisoned in this inhuman house.
Even now, I can already feel that I have lost my freedom. However, Feng Zhenyang did not realize this. He looked at me helplessly, "I live here too. What's the pain? I know you don't like that kind of intrigue. You have experienced enough intrigue in the entertainment industry over the years, but in the Feng family, there is no way around it. Just think of it as doing this for me and stay with me, okay?"
"Feng Zhenyang, do you know what I look like now? I look like a bird, a bird locked in a cage. I was bullied, and I couldn't even talk back! There were people watching me when I went in and out, and those people were scarier than entertainment reporters!" I finally said it out loud: "I can't even film a movie now, and I may completely disappear from the public's sight in the near future! If one day, I even lose my career, then what do I have left? I..."
"You still have me..." Feng Zhenyang interrupted me, staring at me closely, "If you leave, I'll be alone, I really don't know how I can hold on. You know, my parents are in Qinghe City all year round, and I only have you here! Just do it for me, okay?"
For a moment, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say, "Don't you have a naive, lovely, close cousin?" But somehow, the words came to my lips: "What if our fake play becomes real, I stay and lose my career, and one day you don't love me anymore, what should I do if I leave? You know, the worst thing a woman can do is lose her independence. If one day in the future, I lose everything, what should I do? Feng Zhenyang, I'm not a teenage girl anymore, I can't afford to gamble!"
In the final analysis, I don't believe in Feng Zhenyang, nor do I believe in myself. After all, I have been divorced once. I used to believe in Feng Zhenyang and believed everything he said, but now I have experienced too much. I don't know if it is right to give my heart to him completely and retire from the entertainment industry for him.
"We have known each other for so many years, Shen Jiaying, don't you still trust me? Do you think I would be the kind of person who would abandon you after having fun with you? You can't deny a person's attitude towards feelings just because of his identity. I admit that I said something harsh before! But didn't that make you angry?" Feng Zhenyang frowned, with a slight hesitation in his eyes. He paused for a long time and looked at me and said, "I want to be selfish for once, Shen Jiaying. No matter what, I will not let go of your hand this time!"
Feng Zhenyang said that he chose to push me away more than ten years ago, but he didn't want to push me to someone else. So more than ten years later, he made a selfish choice. Later, I often asked myself, do I regret it? If Feng Zhenyang had threatened to die, would he have chosen to divorce me
To be honest, I am depressed. I like Feng Zhenyang, but I like freedom more. Some people may say that I have no conscience. But I must say that love is not everything in life. Why do you plunge into it when you know that there may be no good results? That is a novel, not life. When I was young, I plunged into it without hesitation. Now, it seems that I have no choice.
Probably, from the moment I agreed to marry Feng Zhenyang, I fell into this trap. That night, I couldn't fall asleep, and Feng Zhenyang couldn't fall asleep either. That day, we slept in the same bed, his hand slowly fell on my waist, and he whispered in my ear with a warm breath: "Go to sleep, when your foot is healed, let's go out for a few days to make up for the honeymoon, okay?"
I didn't say anything, just staring at the dark ceiling with my eyes open, not knowing how to answer him. Can I say that at my age, I care more about freedom than so-called love? Of course I couldn't say that, so I just said "hmm" faintly.
"Fire! Fire!" Feng Zhenyang was about to speak when he suddenly heard a middle-aged man's shout from outside.
Hearing this, Feng Zhenyang immediately stood up and whispered to me, "I'll go take a look."
After saying that, he hurried out of the room. A few minutes later, with the sound of hurried footsteps, Feng Zhenyang looked anxious and said to me solemnly, "My fifth aunt's yard is on fire..." (To be continued)