As I wish, divorce. Is this what Feng Zhenyang said? At that moment, I still didn't believe it until he spoke again: "But not now, give me some time."
Feng Zhenyang… did agree to divorce me, shouldn’t I be happy? But I feel so sad. He said we can still be friends after the divorce, but I know in my heart that we will never be friends after breaking up. If we can be friends, it means that one person still loves the other person, or that we have never loved each other.
I breathed a sigh of relief and cried all night in my bed. I didn't cry out loud because I was afraid Feng Zhenyang would hear me. Since he had already agreed, I couldn't give him a chance to regret it.
Sometimes, there are too many helplessness. He has to take revenge, and I have to take care of my father. If I fell in love with an ordinary man, maybe the result would be different. Unfortunately, I didn't fall in love with an ordinary man. And I can't go all out for this extraordinary man.
Feng Zhenyang, I love you. But we are not happy together, so I let you go, and you let me go. I have long passed the age of being resolute in love, and I no longer fantasize about the sad romance of Romeo and Juliet.
That night, Feng Zhenyang and I were separated by only a wall, but the whole house was so quiet that there was not a trace of human presence.
I felt like I was going crazy. I cried and cried, and then I laughed again. Feng Zhenyang, we are finally divorced, we are finally separated, we... finally don't have to worry about anything else, finally can do what I want without any scruples.
The next morning, I didn't see Feng Zhenyang. There was a glass of milk and bread on the dining table, and a piece of paper under the glass. I gently moved the glass away, and familiar words came into my eyes: "Remember to eat breakfast in the morning, and remember to bring a coat when you go out."
This handwriting… is Feng Zhenyang’s. In this house, there is no one else except him and me. I am not used to having a nanny. When I was married to Zhao Yicheng, we lived in poverty. Later, my career was on the rise and I had the conditions, but I didn’t hire one. The most extravagant thing I did was to hire a part-time worker. I like to do it myself. If Zhao Yicheng and I are free, we will clean by ourselves. However, we have very little free time.
Now that I am married to Feng Zhenyang, I have never cleaned the house. I am always on guard against this and that. I am not even that attentive when cooking. Although my cooking may not be that delicious, Feng Zhenyang is still used to having breakfast and dinner at home. Sometimes he gets up early and he cooks.
Just like today, he prepared breakfast for me. But… It’s only half past six, why did he go out so early? I didn’t eat much last night, so I should be hungry, but I don’t have any appetite. I can’t help but feel melancholy. I don’t regret telling Feng Zhenyang about the divorce. Even if I don’t regret it, I still can’t stop myself from feeling sad.
If Feng Zhenyang was just the actor Feng Zhenyang, if Feng Zhenyang was just the national male god with a dark history of "Shamatte", if Feng Zhenyang was just the young boy who had a nosebleed on the first day of school, would there be less entanglement between us
But… There is no if in everything. I sat at the dining table and couldn't help but shed tears. It won't be long before Feng Zhenyang and I get divorced, and we may never meet again. Even if we do meet, it will only be official. We can never be friends again. I have been a jerk countless times, and I have been entangled countless times, and in the end, both of us are miserable.
Shen Jiaying, be decisive. If Feng Zhenyang is happy in the future, you will be better off. It's not a big deal. Everyone has a few passers-by in their life.
Wiping away my tears, I picked up the milk and drank it all, put on complicated makeup and clothes, and arrived at the hospital around 7:30.
When I went there, I found Shen Shiqi was there too. It seemed that he had arrived very early. He came with Qi Xiaoyu. Qi Xiaoyu was wearing a beige woolen coat, with long straight black hair tied into a ponytail, and light makeup. Compared with the last time we met, she seemed to be more sunny. She just looked a little unnatural when she saw me, and her words were unnatural. She greeted me in a very low voice: "Sister Jiaying."
I looked at Shen Shiqi and then at Qi Xiaoyu. They were in this situation. Were they together or something? Qi Xiaoyu's stepmother was so powerful. Would it be dangerous for Shen Shiqi to be with her
I didn't ask. After my mother died, Shen Shiqi hated me. Even though Feng Zhenqing said something to him, his attitude was slightly better, but still not as good as before. So, I just nodded to Qi Xiaoyu, and then asked Shen Shiqi a little awkwardly: "When did you come?"
"I haven't been here long." Shen Shiqi's tone was not as harsh as it had been on the phone, and just like me, he sounded a little unfamiliar.
After a pause, he suddenly said, "Dad, Xiaoyu will take care of it, you don't have to worry. I was not in a good mood yesterday. I'm sorry."
What? Qi Xiaoyu will take care of my dad? Shen Shiqi scolded me yesterday! Why did his attitude change 180 degrees today? What happened
I was slightly stunned and said politely: "It doesn't matter, I'm fine anyway."
"Sister Jiaying, don't worry, I will take good care of uncle." Qi Xiaoyu's tone was very gentle now, completely like a young wife immersed in happiness: "Just tell me what uncle's habits are, after all, it's not convenient for you, right?"
"Isn't it inconvenient for you? Your family..." I hesitated to speak, for I was afraid that as soon as I opened my mouth, I would start arguing with Shen Shiqi again.
He is my brother, no matter how much he hates me, he is still my brother. Maybe it is in line with what Feng Zhenyang said, I am a jerk, really a jerk. No matter how Shen Shiqi does not understand me, how he blames me, or even says some unpleasant words, I can't blame him.
"Sister, let's talk." Shen Shiqi's attitude had really changed a lot compared to yesterday. Before leaving, he gave Qi Xiaoyu a look, indicating that she should take good care of her father.
The hospital corridor was still crowded during the day, and it was a bit noisy, so Shen Shiqi and I left the hospital and sat down in a nearby coffee shop. I was his sister, so naturally I spoke first: "What do you want to drink?"
"Anything is fine." Shen Shiqi didn't care much about food and drink, so I simply ordered him the same white coffee as mine.
Shen Shiqi held the spoon in his hand and stirred gently. He was silent for a while, then suddenly said, "I plan to marry Xiaoyu."
"You really are with Qi Xiaoyu, Shiqi, do you know..."
"I know. You want to say that she is dangerous and that her background will bring me trouble, right?" Before I could finish my next words, Shen Shiqi interrupted me and said, "I have thought about all this. If there is anything, we will share the burden. Since we have decided to be together, I have to share her burden."
"Share the burden! Can you share it? After being in contact with Qi Xiaoyu for so long, you should know Lin Xuejing's methods!" I couldn't help but worry. I was really afraid that Shen Shiqi would get into trouble because of being with Qi Xiaoyu.
Ordinary people like us are really not suitable to find a spouse with a dangerous background. No matter how deep the love is, it's bullshit! Just look at my living example. I loved someone so much that my mother died. How can I have the face to continue living like this!
I insisted on divorcing Feng Zhenyang, and this was one of the reasons. I couldn't get over it. I loved Feng Zhenyang, and everything else could be solved, including the issue of my father needing care. The only thing I couldn't get over was my mother's death. Every time I saw Feng Zhenyang or Lin Ruoxue, I would think of my mother's death.
As for taking care of my father, it is actually just a reason for me to get a divorce. After all, I am not a teenage girl anymore. I cannot love someone without hesitation, and I dare not be as selfless as Shen Shiqi.
Shen Shiqi was indeed reckless, and his expression was firm: "It doesn't matter. Since you love, why not be brave. You don't have to worry about me, you should think about yourself."
"What are you going to do? When are you going to leave?" Shen Shiqi didn't know that Feng Zhenyang and I were no longer just a marriage of convenience, so he asked me directly, "Do you really plan to fight your enemy for the rest of your life? Feng Zhenyang, he and Lin Ruoxue, who killed my mother, are on the same front. If we want to send Lin Ruoxue to prison, we can't do anything if you fight Feng Zhenyang like this."
I lowered my eyes and said nothing. I was in a mess. Shen Shiqi saw that I didn't say anything, paused and explained again: "I had a bad attitude yesterday because I was in a bad mood at the time. Actually... Sister... I really didn't want to be like that, but I... I just couldn't help it. When I thought about my mother's death, I couldn't help it!"
"I know, I don't blame you." Not only could he not help but resent me, even I couldn't help but resent myself.
After that, I continued to tell him about my situation: "I will divorce Feng Zhenyang soon and take good care of my father. As for revenge, I will talk about it later. I will take good care of my father first."
Shen Shiqi nodded: "Well, it's good to leave Feng's house earlier. It doesn't really matter. I think your half brother will deal with Lin Ruoxue sooner or later, so you don't need to get involved. Feng Zhenqing won't let that Lin go just to protect his own mother. If anything happens, I will be responsible. You should leave that place as soon as possible."
I think Shen Shiqi is very strange, his attitude is like split personality. Perhaps seeing through my suspicion, Shen Shiqi hurriedly explained: "I don't have split personality! I just... I just can't help it when I think of those things. You spoke to me in that tone that day, I couldn't help it for a moment, I... Sister, I don't hate you, you also know my temper, sometimes I can't help but say some nonsense!"
It turns out that I have been overthinking all along. I thought Shen Shiqi hated me. Now that I hear him say this, I feel relieved. Shen Shiqi started talking like a chatterbox: "Don't bother with me, but I hope you won't stop me and Xiaoyu. Since you love each other, you have to take responsibility. Speaking of love, I think Zhao Yicheng still has deep feelings for you, you know? He still doesn't have a girlfriend, and he's waiting for you. At that time, I told him that you and Feng Zhenyang were not really married, and he was so happy that he drank a lot of wine!"
What? Shen Shiqi told Zhao Yicheng about that, and then Zhao Yicheng told Lin Ruoxue! I suddenly realized that I... I wronged Feng Zhenyang and didn't even give him a chance to explain. I... What on earth did I do? Feng Zhenyang's grief-stricken eyes flashed in my mind. I... What on earth did I do? I actually kept blaming him! Should I say sorry to him now!
Forget it, what's the point of saying sorry? We're getting divorced anyway, and if I say more, it will definitely cause more trouble. But if I don't say it, I'll feel uneasy. I felt uneasy when I saw Feng Zhenyang for the next few days, but fortunately he didn't talk to me much during these days, and didn't notice anything unusual about me. I felt guilty, so I thought that in the last days, I would make up for it as much as I could.
So, I would cook for him every night and make breakfast for him early in the morning. But there was never much verbal communication between the two of us. Every day I would wait for him to finish eating, then clean up the dishes and go back to my room.
It was the same today. After preparing dinner, I still sat at the dining table waiting for him. I almost fell asleep waiting, but he still didn't come back. It seemed that he would not come back tonight? Maybe he went out to drink with Cao Yan, or... to pick up girls. When we were still in a pure friendship, he loved to go out for a drink, and then pick up girls after drinking! Of course, he was not the kind of person who would sleep with anyone easily. He would sing karaoke with people and sing all night long. Now he must be holding a girl in the box and screaming at the top of his lungs!
Bang! I stood up and was about to put away the dishes when the door suddenly opened. Feng Zhenyang stood at the door, holding the door frame with one hand, swaying and standing very unsteadily. His handsome face was red, and when he saw me, he stumbled over again, with a mouth full of alcohol, and said incoherently: "Shen Jiaying! Congratulations! Tomorrow... Tomorrow you will be free again!"
"Feng Zhenyang, have you been drinking?" I realized that I was asking a nonsense question, so I simply stopped asking and quickly went over to support him and took him to his bedroom.
"I'm drunk! I'm drunk! I'm happy! I'm happy for you!" I forgot that Feng Zhenyang likes to act crazy when he's drunk. He refused to go into the bedroom and insisted on dragging me to the sofa. He grabbed the water on the table and drank it as if it were wine.
Before he reached out his hand, I moved it. That was yesterday's water. This guy was drunk and stuffed everything he grabbed into his mouth! He was lucky not to have been eaten to death before. I took his water, and he grabbed the fruit plate on the table. I quickly pried his hand away.
As a result, Feng Zhenyang just held on tightly and refused to let go. Suddenly, he sat up straight and stared at me incoherently, stammering, "Shen Jiaying, I'm actually not happy at all, but I have to pretend to be happy! Because I have to be happy for you! If you're happy, I'm happy too!"
“Hehehe… Look how happy I am laughing!” Feng Zhenyang’s laugh was uglier than his cry. He awkwardly reached out to wipe away the tears on my face, his eyes red: “Don’t be sad, I’m happy! I’m fine… I’m not sad… I’m really not sad…” (To be continued)