I was disgusted with Zhao Yicheng, I forced myself to forget him, forced myself to go against him. I once thought that if he came back one day, I would be very happy.
But now I don't feel happy at all. If I say I feel disgusted, it's not that disgusting. I feel disgusted by this kind of people. I don't like people who use feelings as bargaining chips. Feelings are feelings. If feelings are tainted one day, I would rather not have such a relationship.
I have been hurt and cried. I have tried to save the relationship, but Zhao Yicheng has hurt me time and time again, telling me that we can never go back to the past.
Now that he is down and out and kicked out by Han Xiaoxiao, he thinks of me. What am I? I, Shen Jiaying, am so cheap in his eyes. No matter how much I like someone, I will not let him trample on my self-esteem again and again just because of that so-called love. I also don't want his family to trample on my self-esteem.
So, Zhao Yicheng, I have decided that I will no longer love you. If I say that I don't feel pain when I see Zhao Yicheng, that would be a lie. Just like a wound that has just healed halfway, it has split open again. I suppressed the pain in my heart and asked him coldly: "Don't you know how disgusting you are? Don't you know?"
The originally cold weather seemed to become hotter as I got more angry. Zhao Yicheng's eyes were filled with guilt and regret: "Jiaying, I know I have done a lot of things to hurt you. You are right to blame me. If you blame me, just beat me! Just like before..."
Haha, maybe in Zhao Yicheng's eyes, I am indeed someone who can be summoned and dismissed at will. Now, in addition to the heartache, I no longer trust him. No matter how deep the love is, once the trust is lost, there is no going back.
I couldn't help but sneer: "Zhao Yicheng, do you think we can still be like before? Do you think I can forget how you and Han Xiaoxiao hurt me?"
"Jiaying, Han Xiaoxiao and I broke up two months ago..." Zhao Yicheng took a deep breath and reached out to pull me. I slightly turned sideways and cleverly dodged.
Zhao Yicheng was a little embarrassed, but he continued to coax me shamelessly: "Speaking of which, you may look down on me. These days, every time it's late at night, I can't help but think of the past. I feel very painful, so I broke up with Han Xiaoxiao, but I haven't had the courage to see you until today..."
I have to admit that I was indeed moved by Zhao Yicheng's words. If he had not been so determined to divorce me, I would still be soft-hearted and I would still believe him. But now, I will never believe him again. I don't look down on him, I just think he is ridiculous.
I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down and not be fooled by his sweet words.
"Zhao Yicheng, once the cup is broken, you can't glue it back together. Even if you glue it back together, it won't be the same as before." I tried my best to appear calm. I didn't want Zhao Yicheng to see that I still had him in my heart, even though I had already shown it was obvious. I still pretended to be indifferent in my tone: "It's the same with feelings."
"Besides... I already have Feng Zhenyang, and I love him." I didn't give Zhao Yicheng a chance to continue speaking, nor did I give myself a chance to reconcile with him. I kept calm and used Feng Zhenyang as a shield.
After sleeping in the same bed together for eleven years, Zhao Yicheng finally understood me. He exposed me without any shame: "Jiaying, don't I know you? You just want to piss me off. If you really loved him, you would have hit him just now..."
"I'm mad at you? Zhao Yicheng, can you please stop joking? Who do you think you are?" I was stubborn, just to argue for a moment, and said, "Hitting is love, scolding is love! We love and hate each other, so what if we are happy!"
After I finished speaking, I felt a little regretful. Zhao Yicheng looked at me as if I were an idiot. Zhao Yicheng always saw through me. My superb acting skills were almost invisible in front of him.
He frowned and looked at me for a moment. His tone was calm, but the words he said were very annoying: "Shen Jiaying, you are not a qualified actor. You can't even pretend. You have me in your heart. Do you think I can't see it?"
It felt bad to be exposed. I wanted to defend myself, but after thinking it over, I decided to say nothing to avoid making things worse. Zhao Yicheng saw that I didn't say anything and thought I had acquiesced. He acted as if nothing had happened. He was shameless and shameless: "Go home early in the evening. I'll wait for you..." (To be continued)