I admit that when I was bruised and bruised by Zhao Yicheng and Feng Zhenyang gave me warmth and used his warmth to heal my scarred heart, I did rely on him very much and I felt a little bit like that.
But I know my situation very well. Feng Zhenyang and I are not compatible. What's more, I don't want to love anyone anymore. God knows whether I will feed the dog in the next ten years!
If I were a girl of seventeen or eighteen years old and was carried away by feelings, I would probably tell Feng Zhenyang, let's be together.
Unfortunately, I am no longer the person I was more than ten years ago. I will not bet my life on impulse. I have already bet once and I can't afford to bet again.
However, I don't want to lose this friend. I can't even believe that Feng Zhenyang would say such things. I looked at him steadily for a long time, wanting to continue pretending to be stupid, but he had already reached this point, and it would be too pretentious for me to pretend to be stupid anymore.
At this moment, I suddenly felt unsure. Feng Zhenyang and I could only be friends. I didn't understand this truth more than ten years ago, but I can see it very clearly more than ten years later.
"Feng Zhenyang, don't do this. It's not good for others to see you. I'll leave first..." Taking advantage of my relaxation, I immediately broke away. This time I was betting on my friendship of more than ten years.
To be honest, I really look down on those men who break off the relationship or force them to die just because their courtship fails. However, I didn't look down on Feng Zhenyang. I was just a little scared. I was afraid that my rejection would hurt his self-esteem and that he would not be able to be friends in the future.
The cold wind blew by, and I shivered slightly. I felt uneasy, for fear that Feng Zhenyang would really break up with me. I'm used to his presence, especially in the past six months or so, and it seems that I can't live without him.
But! What am I doing like this? I suddenly felt that I was too bitchy. I didn't like others, yet I had to hang on to them and ask for comfort from the Master. What was the difference between me and Zhao Yicheng? It's just a different way to hurt people.
If he really wants to break up with me because of this matter, I don't blame him. After all, if you can't see it, it will be easy to forget. As time goes by, our relationship may return to the beginning.
I responded with a lucky but troubled heart, and ran away from him without looking back. The steps under my feet were extremely heavy.
"Hey! Shen Jiaying!" I had just taken two steps when Feng Zhenyang's voice came from behind. He shouted so loudly that almost the entire street could hear it.
I was so frightened that I immediately turned around. Feng Zhenyang walked over quickly with a black face: "Shen Jiaying, can't you just pretend? Who am I? I am Feng Zhenyang? Can you give me some face? Can you not hurt people's self-esteem so much? ?”
"I already said break it off! Break it off! Shouldn't you hold my thigh and beg me not to break it off with you?" Feng Zhenyang patted his leg as he spoke. His eyes obviously said: "Hurry up and hug me." Thighs beg me!”
In fact, I was really nervous when Feng Zhenyang told me to break off our relationship just now. He even took a few steps and he didn’t make a sound. I was really frightened. Although I felt that I looked very bitchy if I continued to be friends with him, I still didn’t want to lose this. friend.
In life, there are always endless tangles. Now that he said this, I no longer felt entangled and breathed a sigh of relief. Decisive, pretending to be natural, continued to be stupid: "Tch, what's there to ask for? It's not just a day or two that you broke off the relationship. You even said you wanted to break off the relationship with Tang Xiaomei a while ago! You broke off the relationship with her. Do you think I’m stupid? I don’t know you? You’re so stupid..."
"Yes, yes! I'm just pissed!" Feng Zhenyang finally refused to break up with me, and shouted with a dark face: "Okay, okay, I'll take you home. Do you have a sense of humor..."
"I'm born serious! I don't know what humor is!" He deliberately took back what he said, so I didn't bother and followed him: "So don't act with me here, just your exaggerated acting skills. , let’s go and coax the little girl! A thirty-year-old woman like me is too old to be humorous with you!”
Humor seems to be innate. Some people are really humorous when they are humorous, and there is no difference between some people pretending to be humorous and mentally retarded. Feng Zhenyang belongs to the former group. One second he was making trouble to break off the relationship, but the next second he was able to immediately reverse the situation.
He didn't say anything more, and I thought he was joking. Anyway, he was born to act. I was noisy and laughing with him all the way. Before this, I wanted to call Shen Shiqi to pick me up, but now in order to pretend not to care, I asked Feng Zhenyang to take me home, as if he didn't say anything. But I didn't hear anything.
But... there are some things where you can deceive people with your face, but you cannot deceive people with your heart. After this incident, there was always a barrier between me and Feng Zhenyang.
After that day, until we returned to the Imperial Capital, we never spoke on the phone, let alone met. Two days after returning to the capital, I went to Zhejiang to film a palace drama. This drama was picked up a year ago, and the contract has already been signed, and we are waiting to start filming after the year.
Sitting in the empty living room, I felt that the room was eerily calm, without a trace of life, or maybe it was because I didn't have much life. I hadn't contacted Feng Zhenyang for a long time, and I always felt empty in my heart.
I have to go to Zhejiang in two days and shoot for two or three months. I don’t know if I will have time to contact Feng Zhenyang. People, once they grow up, they become so busy that no one has time to contact anyone. In the end, the relationship becomes weak and disappears.
Besides, I had such an embarrassing quarrel with Feng Zhenyang before. Yes, on the surface, none of us pretended to be fine, but I knew in my heart that we could never go back to the past. Maybe one day, we would really become strangers. .
"Shen Jiaying!!! What are you doing! Absent-minded!" On the day I arrived in Hengdian, Zhejiang, I was very confused and in a bad mental state. I didn't even hear Rong Fang speak, which made Rong Fang sit in the nanny car. He let out a Hedong lion's roar, which frightened the driver Yue Ming who was driving in front of him. He almost missed hitting the telegraph pole in front of him.
Tang Xiaomei, who was sitting in the passenger seat, was so frightened that she screamed and screamed, so Rong Fang also screamed, and the whole car was in chaos. In fact, I also wanted to call, but I couldn't react. By the time I reacted, the car had already moved forward smoothly.
I suddenly became energetic when they called me. I glanced at Rong Fang who was sitting next to me and said, "I didn't sleep well last night."
For someone like me, whose reaction arc spans half of the world, Rong Fang was helpless and speechless. She gritted her teeth and looked at me for a while, and finally said with a serious face: "Shen Jiaying, I told you how long have you been divorced? It's been New Year's Eve. You are still like this? You are really promising! Let me tell you, keep your spirits up when filming. Believe me, your career will go to the next level after filming this film. It's still on the rise, you know? Be humble..."
Where am I not humble? Rong Fang is a person who is thousands of miles away every time she talks. I don’t want to hear her continue nagging, so I keep nodding my head, still thinking about whether I should take the initiative to call Feng Zhenyang. , but I clearly don’t like her, but still like this... It seems a bit ambiguous, doesn’t it seem good? Maybe... I should face it head on, if I don't like it, I just don't like it...
Speaking of which, this was the first time that I was so entangled in my relationship with Feng Zhenyang. In a daze, I was already on the set.
Sometimes troubles are like rotten peach blossoms. When they don't come, they don't come. When they come, they come in droves and can't be stopped.
Just arrived at the set, before entering the dressing room, and just sitting on the chair to rest, I saw a familiar figure - Han Xiaoxiao.
Even though Zhao Yicheng has separated from Han Xiaoxiao, I still feel psychologically uncomfortable when I see Han Xiaoxiao, but she doesn’t seem to think so. When I see her, she comes over shamelessly and greets me nonchalantly: "Sister Shen, long time no see..." ( To be continued)