Frostbite

Chapter 63: 063 The pain of caring

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If I knew Feng Zhenyang was there, I would never come. No matter how deep the love is, if you haven't seen each other for a long time, you will gradually forget each other. So I didn't want to see Feng Zhenyang, and I didn't even want to hear his voice.

After the shock, I regained my indifferent expression and stood at the door as if nothing had happened. Feng Zhenyang led me in sideways, looking forward, intentionally keeping a distance from me: "I was supposed to work overtime today, but I solved it in advance, so I don't have to."

"Uh," I responded lightly, not knowing what to say next.

Feng Zhenyang's situation was similar to mine. He knew that he was about to get married, and whether he and Qi Xiaoyu loved each other or not, it would be bad for him to get entangled with me. Or, as Li Nan said, he mistakenly thought that I was the daughter of his fifth uncle Feng Yue, and he was entangled in his heart and deliberately kept his distance from me.

If he really took the hair because of this incident, and if his fifth uncle lied to him, I would hope that he would be deceived forever, at least that way he would force himself to forget. But if the truth is as Li Nan said, that it was Mother Feng who killed my biological mother, then the situation between Feng Zhenyang and I would probably be completely different.

It takes about a few minutes to get from the main entrance to the hall of Feng Zhenyang's house, especially at our leisurely pace, it really takes five or six minutes. Walking side by side with Feng Zhenyang, I couldn't help but sneak a peek at him. He seemed to be much more haggard than before. If the breakup hurt me, it also hurt Feng Zhenyang.

Perhaps sensing my gaze, Feng Zhenyang also turned his head to look at me intentionally or unintentionally. Compared to me, his expression was much more natural: "How have you been these days? Did the Qi family cause you any trouble?"

"No..." I still answered calmly. As long as I didn't have any dealings with Feng Zhenyang, how could the Qi family cause trouble for me? Feng Zhenyang really had nothing to say, so he was just making small talk.

Seeing Feng Zhenyang who is calm and composed now, I suddenly remembered him drinking and going crazy in Qinghe City during the Chinese New Year. At that time, he said that he fell in love with his fifth uncle's daughter. He said that his fifth uncle's daughter was called Shen Jiaying. Haha... It seems that what Li Nan said is true. Feng Yue did deceive Feng Zhenyang. Since Feng Zhenyang thought I was his fifth uncle's daughter, then... he had sex with me! Feng Zhenyang is a pervert!!!

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but look at Feng Zhenyang again. On the surface, he seemed normal, but I didn't expect that he was actually a pervert! Although he and I are not related by blood, since he was deceived by his fifth uncle into thinking that I was his cousin, he should have cut the Gordian knot, but he still had to struggle for a while, and...

I didn't want to talk about it. The more I talked, the more I realized that Feng Zhenyang was really a pervert. The pervert felt my gaze again and turned around coldly. This time he didn't say much like before. He asked me directly without any mercy: "Shen Jiaying, why are you staring at me?"

"How could I have been staring at you!" I immediately denied it, almost refusing to admit it: "Your eyes are on the back of your head, are you hallucinating?"

"I clearly felt like you were staring at me!" Feng Zhenyang said with certainty: "I always feel like there's a chill in my back. If you weren't staring at me, how could I have that feeling?"

Oh my god! This guy is still as eloquent as ever, making up stories and turning black into white. I rolled my eyes at him and said, "I'm not a ghost, where does the wind blow? Are you sick?"

"Every time you look at me, I can feel that you are clearly staring at me." Feng Zhenyang is also very persistent.

While we were still arguing with each other, we had already reached the living room. As soon as I entered the living room, I saw Aunt Feng coming out of the kitchen with two dishes. I tried to force a smile and greeted her: "Hello, Auntie."

"Jiaying is here! It's been a year since we last met. Look, you've lost weight again! You don't eat well all day long. That's how you young people are. You never know how to take care of your bodies." Mother Feng pulled me to sit down and showed her concern for me with her nagging as she did in the past.

In the past, such care warmed my heart, but today it was a different feeling. Looking at this amiable middle-aged woman in front of me, I really couldn't imagine that she would do such a heinous thing. But thinking about my parents' attitude towards the Feng family over the years, and Li Nan's affirmation, I couldn't help but doubt that these were all true.

At this moment, facing Auntie Feng's concern, I couldn't help but become polite and smiled at her very politely: "Thank you for your concern, Auntie."

Hearing this, Mother Feng was slightly stunned, with an extremely complicated look in her eyes, but in an instant she returned to her original smile: “You kid, how many times have I told you, and you’re still being polite to your aunt.”

"Jiaying, please don't be polite to your aunt." Mother Feng served three bowls of rice and handed them to me and Feng Zhenyang respectively. Then she sat down next to me and put some food into my bowl and said, "You don't have to be afraid of those people who talk nonsense. Even if Zhenyang gets married in the future, you two can still be good friends and you can still come to your aunt's house. But don't be polite to your aunt. You know, I can't stand those polite words."

From high school to now, over the past ten years, Mother Feng has given me a lot of warmth, some of which my mother has never given me. My mother and father have always been serious and don’t know how to express their feelings. They have always educated Shen Shiqi and me in a traditional way. I am used to that kind of education, and I was really moved many times after meeting Mother Feng.

Now I am very scared. I am afraid that the care Feng Mama gives me comes from the guilt she feels towards my biological mother and from her inner anxiety. What I am most afraid of is that Feng Mama will admit that she did those things. I don’t want my beloved Feng Mama to be that kind of person. I don’t want Feng Mama, who cares about me, to die or be the murderer of my biological mother.

This feeling was very conflicted. On the one hand, I didn't want to admit that Mother Feng was not a good person, but on the other hand, there was a lot of evidence pointing to Mother Feng. So I felt very uncomfortable during this dinner.

After dinner, I was eager to leave. After helping Mother Feng wash the dishes, I was busy saying goodbye.

"Jiaying, why are you leaving right after dinner? It's not easy for your aunt to come to Beijing, you have to chat with me!" Before I took a step, Aunt Feng's hand had already wrapped around me, and she asked in a reproachful manner, "What's wrong? Are you unhappy to see your aunt?"

“No…” I shook my head and lied, “It’s just that I have a performance tomorrow morning, so I have to go home and go to bed early.”

"What's the matter? Just rest here. I'll ask Zhenyang to take you directly to the set tomorrow morning." Mother Feng often said shocking things like this.

I was really shocked by her and quickly refused: "How can this be possible? Zhenyang is going to get married after all..."

"What's wrong with getting married? You two can still be friends after getting married! Besides, Zhenyang is not the only one here. If anyone dares to talk nonsense, I will tear his mouth apart!" Mother Feng gritted her teeth and glanced at Feng Zhenyang who was absent-mindedly watching TV beside her. She sighed and said, "Some people! They will sell everything for money, even their feelings! What's so good about money? I have lived for decades and I still haven't discovered how good money is! If you marry someone you don't like, you will cry for the rest of your life!"

Feng Zhenyang heard that his mother was making indirect accusations, and his face immediately darkened. He was also rude to his mother in front of me: "Mom! If you have something to say, can you just say it directly? Don't beat around the bush and curse me? Do you think this is something your own mother would say? I really don't know what you are thinking! I'm too lazy to tell you!"

After saying that, Feng Zhenyang simply stopped watching TV, picked up the laptop on the coffee table and walked towards the study. Mother Feng watched Feng Zhenyang's back with contempt: "Jiaying, look at this person, what kind of person is this!"

"Isn't he always like this?" I answered Mother Feng casually, then stood up and said goodbye: "Mother Feng, I really should go."

"Wait a minute, Jiaying!" Mother Feng grabbed me and forced me to sit down. She said seriously, "Jiaying, why do I feel like something is wrong with you today? Did something happen to you? Ever since you came in, you looked worried. Tell me, has something happened? Is it true? Did Zhao Yicheng's shrewish mother embarrass you again?"

The more Mrs. Feng asked, the more confused I felt. I shook my head and said, "Nothing, really nothing."

"No, there must be something! Jiaying, if there is anything, you should say it out loud. You can't keep it in your heart or you will get hurt." Mother Feng was not giving up, and she was in an attitude that if she didn't tell him today, she would not be able to step out of this door.

In fact, I wanted to speak from the moment I entered the room, but I hesitated for a long time, largely because Feng Zhenyang was there. At this point, I couldn't hold it back any longer. Looking up at Feng's mother, I paused, and said in a heavy and serious tone: "Aunt, actually, I have really encountered some troubles recently. The role in the TV series I am filming recently is very difficult to interpret. The heroine's life experience is particularly rough."

"She grew up in an extremely feudal family. After graduating from high school, she went out to work alone. Later, she met a young man who was also wandering around, so they got married. But more than ten years later, when they were successful, the man cheated on her."

"So the heroine got divorced. She was in great pain during the initial period after the divorce and even thought about committing suicide. However, her high school classmate and her high school classmate's mother stayed with her and comforted her. Finally, she came out of the shadow, but at this time, a strange man found her and told her that he was her biological father and produced strong evidence. He then told her that her biological mother was actually killed by the mother of her high school classmate who had always cared about her!"

"The heroine wanted to verify with her high school classmate's mother, but she couldn't believe that the kind aunt would do such a thing! She couldn't believe that the aunt who always cared for her was the murderer of her biological mother! So she was very conflicted. Auntie, how do you think I should verify it? How should I act out her conflict?"

As I finished my story, Feng's mother's face gradually changed. I still had a glimmer of hope, but the expression on Feng's mother's face said it all. Her eyes were mixed with fear and guilt, and tears suddenly appeared in her smiling eyes: "Jiaying... I'm sorry! I'm sorry..."

It turns out... it's all true. Compared to knowing that I have a bastard father, Feng's mother's answer hurt me more. At that moment, I felt so heartbroken that I couldn't breathe. That pain was no less than when I was betrayed by Zhao Yicheng. The more I care, the more painful it is.

I didn't know what to say. I just felt my head was empty. I grabbed my bag and stumbled out the door. Every step I took was so heavy and painful. In the dark night, the cold wind was blowing, and the tears on my face were as cold as the cold wind. I knew that from then on, I had lost another relative I cared about. Yes, I regarded Mother Feng as a relative, as a relative as my mother...

"Shen Jiaying!" As I stumbled to the parking lot, a male voice suddenly came from behind me, followed by a man's strong hand. I turned around in a daze, and in the darkness I could vaguely see Feng Zhenyang's tearful face. I could feel his hands trembling, and his voice was hoarse and choked: "I... I heard everything, Shen Jiaying... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Shen Jiaying, I'm really sorry!" (To be continued)