Zhao Yicheng's tone was quite meaningful. He was never a dull person. Although he had been divorced for more than a year, he still understood me well enough. More than ten years of living together day and night had now become a nightmare for me. The feeling of being seen through by a completely selfish man was very frightening.
I don't want Zhao Yicheng to know that I'm not my parents' biological child, and I don't want him to know that my father is Li Nan. It's not shameful to have a good or bad background. The bad thing is that it's known by a selfish man, which may become a handle for him to threaten me in the future.
It's not that I think too badly of Zhao Yicheng, but the hurt he once gave me has made me completely lose confidence in him. No matter what he does now, I can't change my opinion of him, and I will think the worst of him most of the time. This is probably what is called "once bitten by a snake, you will be afraid of the rope for ten years."
"What reason could there be? I'm a saint!" I simply answered him perfunctorily: "I just feel sorry for her, isn't that okay?"
"You don't hate her?" Zhao Yicheng seemed to be incredulous: "If it weren't for her appearance, we would never have divorced, and you wouldn't have been involved in the Feng family's dispute and threatened by the Qi family. Don't you hate her?"
Ha! I, Shen Jiaying, have lived for most of my life, and this is the first time I have met someone as shameless as Zhao Yicheng. If he is second, no one will dare to claim first place. It is obvious that he could not resist the temptation and coveted the youth and vitality of others, or it can be said that he was innocent and simple as he once said. The biggest reason is still on him. Now he is so good that he pushed all the sins onto Han Xiaoxiao in one sentence.
Besides, he is almost dead now, but he still has this attitude. I don’t know if I was blinded by the husky shit that I fell in love with him. The most terrifying thing is that I have been with him for more than ten years! It’s creepy just thinking about it.
Normally, I would have cursed him as a thousand-year-old turtle bastard, a fighter among the scumbags who has never been seen before and will never be seen again! But today I didn't curse him. I needed help from someone, so how could I easily open my mouth
I calmed down, suppressed the urge to curse, and pretended to be relieved: "It's all in the past, what's there to hate? Han Xiaoxiao is also dying now, there's nothing to worry about."
"Oh... you're really open-minded." Zhao Yicheng's voice was cold, with a hint of sarcasm in his tone, and it seemed like he was mocking himself: "Yes, you should be open-minded. After all, we don't have any feelings for each other anymore! Uh... No, it's you who have no feelings for me."
"Zhao Yicheng! Can you stop being so sarcastic? It was you who wanted a divorce, not me! Why are you whining endlessly here?" I wanted to endure it, but I was still irritated by his shameless words: "I'm asking you, are you a man? Can you have a sense of responsibility? Can you take responsibility for your mistakes for once? Why do you always push the responsibility onto others? Can you stop making me look down on you?"
Time can change everything. I remember when I first met Zhao Yicheng, he was a responsible young man who was positive and motivated. But I don't know when he became like this now, never knowing where he went wrong. Maybe it's because he became famous, so famous that he lost himself, and his fans praised him, so he was right even if he was wrong, so gradually he almost lost himself.
This was the first time in more than ten years that I taught Zhao Yicheng a lesson. Unlike previous quarrels, this time it was a lesson, a real lesson.
Because I was too excited, my throat was very uncomfortable after I finished speaking, and the whole car seemed to still echo with my scolding. Zhao Yicheng was silent for a long time, and the sound of flipping the pages became faster. It can be heard that he was very irritated. Would he not want to see Han Xiaoxiao because of this? I suddenly felt nervous. I should not have scolded him earlier. At least I should have tricked him into going to the hospital to see Han Xiaoxiao before scolding him.
Maybe when he saw Han Xiaoxiao's sick appearance, he would feel guilty.
"When will we go together?" After a long time, Zhao Yicheng stopped flipping through the book and spoke in a serious tone with complicated emotions.
I was relieved when he agreed: "As soon as possible, tomorrow if you are free, then do it. She doesn't have much time left."
"Tell me, why did you help her?" Zhao Yicheng brought the topic back again and paused before saying, "You are not a kind person who is compassionate."
I'm not a good person? How am I not a good person? How can this person talk like that! I suppressed my anger, closed my eyes, and said coldly: "Let's talk about it when we meet. It will take a while to explain it clearly."
"Okay, then I'll pick you up tomorrow morning." Zhao Yicheng finally stopped asking. Maybe he wanted to wait until they met tomorrow before asking me.
No matter what he asks, let's call him out first. Actually, there is nothing to be afraid of. As long as Zhao Yicheng doesn't see Li Nan tomorrow and Han Xiaoxiao doesn't talk nonsense, Zhao Yicheng won't know anything.
Actually, it doesn't matter if Zhao Yicheng knows about it. What I'm worried about is that he will tell my parents about it. My parents have kept it a secret for so many years, and they just want me to be happy. How can I let them worry
Now that I think about it, my parents were probably right not to let me enter the entertainment industry. If I hadn’t entered the entertainment industry, I would never have known my life experience. If I hadn’t entered the entertainment industry, I wouldn’t have met Zhao Yicheng. Oh, I wouldn’t have met Feng Zhenyang in high school, wouldn’t have liked him, wouldn’t have been friends with him for many years, wouldn’t have ended up with him, wouldn’t have met his mother…
I miss Feng Zhenyang again. When it's late at night and everyone is asleep, I always think of him. Compared to Zhao Yicheng, it's harder for me to forget Feng Zhenyang. Feng Zhenyang and I haven't been together for a long time, but he has never really hurt me. A man who once protected me and never hurt me is still hard to forget even after breaking up.
With this depressed mood, I had another sleepless night. I finally fell asleep, but was woken up by Zhao Yicheng's phone call at six o'clock the next day. I was half asleep, but he was very energetic: "I'm coming, you hurry up."
I really think Zhao Yicheng is crazy about this matter. He left home at 6 o'clock. It would be 6:40 at most when he got to my place. Then we went to the hospital together, which would take 30 to 40 minutes, and it would be 7 o'clock. Han Xiaoxiao hadn't even woken up yet. Was he going to harass her or something
Zhao Yicheng didn't harass Han Xiaoxiao. I felt that he was harassing me. When he came, I had just finished putting on my makeup. I was holding the door with one hand and feeling extremely depressed. "Zhao Yicheng, why did you come so early? And what are you holding in your hand?"
"Breakfast..." He said without hesitation, squeezing in, "Let's have breakfast together first."
"I don't like to eat these crap." I'm not being pretentious, I just don't feel like eating what Zhao Yicheng bought, I just feel sick. I don't know how to describe that feeling, anyway, I feel sick of this man so much that I can't even eat after looking at him. Even if an irresponsible and selfish man has a face as handsome as Pan An, he can't get rid of the scum in his bones.
But I ate it anyway. I had argued with him for a few words, but in the end, I had to be nice to him because I needed help. To quote Feng Zhenyang, asking for help is a bullshit thing. You really want to punch the other person to death, but you still have to put on a fake smile and chat with him, which makes your face and balls hurt.
The feeling of riding in Zhao Yicheng's car to go to the hospital was that my face and balls hurt, and everything hurt. I didn't feel better until I got off the car.
"Shen Jiaying, do you really hate me?" Zhao Yicheng suddenly asked me this question when we got off the car. Perhaps he was stimulated by what I said yesterday, and he deeply realized that he was disgusting: "I often think, how can a relationship of more than ten years be gone just like that."
"I used to think that we still had a chance to go back to the past..." Zhao Yicheng suddenly had a seizure, or maybe he was reminded of his past. Staring at the hospital that was full of hope but also breathed of death, he smiled, a bitter smile: "I still remember that year, we were not famous yet, we had no money, no fame, nothing. And you fainted from the pain of your period due to malnutrition."
"At that time, I was worried to death. I was worried that you would die. I thought, if you died, I would not live either. So, I carried you for a long, long way and finally found a small clinic, but the doctor and his family were still sleeping. I smashed their windows and forced them to get up..."
The Zhao Yicheng who went to the hospital in the middle of the night was different from the one now. He would not shirk responsibility, blame others, or resort to trickery. He was not unfaithful, not as bad as he is now. The Zhao Yicheng now is no longer the Zhao Yicheng of the past, and Shen Jiaying is no longer the Shen Jiaying who loved Zhao Yicheng deeply. So I interrupted him and said, "Don't mention the past. You should think about what to say to Han Xiaoxiao when you see her."
I was actually afraid that Zhao Yicheng would mention the past. Sometimes, even though I no longer loved the person, I still loved the feeling. That feeling was the hardest to let go. After we broke up, I would miss that feeling, but it was like a thorn.
I believe that Zhao Yicheng felt the same as I did, and when he brought it up himself, he probably wasn't much better. So he stopped recalling it, maybe asking casually, or maybe he really wanted to ask: "How long has she been sick?"
"It's been a long time." I answered seriously. Every time I talked about this issue, I felt inexplicably heavy. "It was probably not long after she fought with me last time. I didn't pay attention until I found out. It was too late. She is also very pitiful. She is so young and has nothing, but she has such a disease. She has no other wishes, but she just wants to see you."
"Shen Jiaying, long time no see." Before I finished speaking, a male voice suddenly sounded in front of me, and with the footsteps getting closer and closer. Feng Zhenyang came towards me with a woman who looked very familiar. He glanced at Zhao Yicheng beside me and said indifferently: "You are still as cheap as before!" (To be continued)