I have experienced Xu Weiyu's YY spirit long ago, but to be honest, compared to my roommates in college, he is still slightly "inferior".
1. YY man
The third thing we talk about is money, including robbing banks, including Ziwei Doushu and Bazi lottery. Men, including reality, including YY. Time travel, including the Jurassic era, including how 2012 saved the world.
This time to record, man.
In our bedroom, the topic of men is always opened by the head of the room.
When she thought about it, she usually lay down on the bed with her limbs wide open, and then shouted, "Lanlan, get on a man!"
All kinds of obscene.
Lan Lan is usually playing games without looking back, "What kind of flavor this time?"
Head of the room: "Pretty."
Lan Lan: "Okay! The beautiful one, bed number four!"
This is still good. Many times when walking on the road, the head of the room suddenly pointed to the shadow in front and said, "The one in front, the one in front, I want the one in front!"
That's the most obscene expression and most obscene tone I've ever seen = =!
Daren: "This is really good."
Lan Lan: "Tsk, then let Qingxi go to the spot? We'll do it when we see it. Chief, the goods outside are three times more expensive."
The head of the room: "Don't worry, sister has money!"
Me: "...why am I leading the charge again?"
Lan Lan: "Because your sense of existence is relatively weak."
I:"… "
Lan Lan: "Look, the master doesn't go out unless he turns into a ghost. The head of the room is too rude, and I'm too murderous. You, you have no offensive power, you look the same, and your breath is peaceful, even if people come around him. He won't necessarily pay attention to you in two laps, so don't worry, go!"
I:"… "
Expert: "Then I knocked the guy unconscious? Then Alan, you dragged him back to the dormitory?"
The head of the room: "Then I'll go to the bed and wait!"
Lan Lan: "Come back! Chief, that person is too tall. I don't think I can drag him back. Let's have a discussion. Can you solve it outside? The big deal is half the price."
The head of the room twisted: "Field battle? How embarrassing, she is still a big girl."
Lan Lan: "Tsk, okay, big turtle (big boudoir), in this case, only Qingxi can help carry a leg."
I…
Lan Lan: "Don't worry Xizi, I will give you more wages."
Officially started, half is real and half YY. All I have to do is walk up, listen to what they are saying, preferably what the man's name is, and report back, and the mission is complete.
As a result, it was said that I, who would not be noticed even if I walked around him twice, just got up and was about ten meters away from the man, and the man turned his head to look at me, and then kept staring at me.
I thought to myself, Lan Lan is a dead person.
Then when I seemed to have no intention of going around, he suddenly greeted me, "Hi, Gu Qingxi, go to class?"
"No... just finished class."
"Well, I'm going to class. I'll go out to eat when I have time."
"… OK."
Later, that person followed the classmates and left, and the head of my room and the others ran up to me and asked, "Who is that person? Do you know Qingxi?"
I do not recognize.
Who is this person, I still can't remember to this day
2. YY crossing
The head of the room: "How can YY travel in this era, either to the palace or to the bunker, it's too boring! If I say that I can choose, I must choose to travel to the age of dinosaurs."
Lan Lan, who was originally inactive, immediately became interested: "I like it! When will I go, I will prepare it!"
Cosmetic expert: "I need to bring some sunscreen, preferably an umbrella. Oh, and my tent, skin care products, beauty products!"
The head of the room: "Mom there are dinosaurs, real dinosaurs, who will come to see your face."
Me: "Can I not go... I will take the sixth grade exam next week."
Head Office: "Level 6 is more important or dinosaurs are more important?!"
= =! It's not comparable - is it
Finally, it's time to pass.
Gobi, goshawk, sand dunes, scorching sun, devastated.
Who picked the place
The head of the office: "I chose the one that is challenging, of course! Do you still choose a place with beautiful mountains and clear waters to compose a song with Tyrannosaurus Rex 'Only Envy Dinosaurs, Not Immortals'?"
Lan Lan: "Boss, you are too rascal~"
Plastic surgery expert: "It's alright, come here! There is a rock hole over there, I'll go see if it can be our lair?" The expert dragged the pink suitcase and walked gracefully.
I put my things down, I only carry a bag, which is full of food, and a six-level test paper = =!
Me: "What's next?"
The head of the room took a look at the binoculars, "Why aren't there any dinosaurs? There seems to be a cliff over there. I'll go take a look. Would you like to join Qingxi?"
"I'm so tired, sit for a while, you go." I immediately sat in the shadow of a big rock.
The head of the room: "You're tired since you came here?! Well, I'll go with Lan Lan, don't walk around. Wow, hahaha, I must be the first person to see a dinosaur!"
Lan Lan gave me her duffel bag. The head of the room only carried a saber, binoculars and a flashlight.
I sat there and looked around, still desolate.
So, I started to do test papers ING = =!
After a long time.
I saw Lan Lan rushing towards me, with dust flying behind me!
Lan Lan: "Qingxi!!!!!! There are beautiful men!!!!"
fuck!
This is the first time I can't help but say this.
I interrupt YY.
"Officer, don't you disdain beautiful men, didn't YY go to the Gobi just to see dinosaurs?"
The head of the room was lying on the bed, leaning gracefully to his side, facing me with his butt.
"Hey, I thought about it, it's still not good without a man, even in the age of dinosaurs. Besides, they are also grouped to see dinosaurs, and it's ape dung when they meet."
… Well, there is not much difference between doing level 6 in the Gobi or doing level 6 at the dormitory table = =!
Back to the Gobi Desert, YY continues.
Lan Lan was out of breath and pointed to the cliff, "Just now, I ran to the cliff with the head of the house, and I saw someone being attacked by a pterosaur! The head and I were surprised. We were surprised for three reasons. First, there were actually dinosaurs! Second, there were actually dinosaurs. Someone!! 3. TMD turned out to be a handsome guy!! Then Ashi immediately took out his flashlight, took a picture of the dinosaur, and one died! The beautiful boy group was rescued! That's it for now, I'll come to communicate with you first, what to do next ?"
Me: "Wait, one shot kills one? Isn't that... just a flashlight?"
Lan Lan: "The head of the office said that it was a flashlight modified from a laser gun, abbreviated as a flashlight—what's the matter with you, Qingxi? Are you alright!"
"...I don't know why I suddenly feel a little nauseous and dizzy = =!"
"Pregnant? What should I do?? Xu Shao is still in Germany hundreds of millions of years later! How can I contact him?"
"… "
When we went back, Daren had cleaned the rock hole (it was already dry inside). She set up a tent with pink sheets next to it as a floor sofa, and in front of it was a small folded stool with lit candles. And the master is lying on his side on the sheet doing yoga!
Suddenly there is a feeling of crossing back again.
Sure enough, the head of the room was immediately put back by Lei De, "Master, do you have to do exercises at this time! We are now in the age of dinosaurs, the age of dinosaurs! Please put in a little professionalism and be OK?!"
Daren painted toenail polish, "I have nothing to do, so what do you want me to do?"
Lan Lan: "Oh, boss, in fact, compared to Qingxi's sixth-level work on the Gobi Desert, the experts are much more dedicated."
I:"… "
The head of the room hated that iron could not be made of steel, and finally gritted his teeth and said: "Okay, go back with me, and continue YY!" We have united with the beautiful men and beautiful men who live on the other side of the cliff to form a state of friendship, and we can secretly accompany them in the future and secretly make music! We will meet to see dinosaurs when we have time, and occasionally you can chase me on the Gobi Desert!"
The room manager was already in the Gobi Desert in the next second, the setting sun, Jinsha, a man, a woman, and a dinosaur, playing in slow motion, the room leader: "Ahahahaha, come after me... come after me... ah ha ha... you Can't catch up with me, you can't catch up with me."
Lan Lan couldn't stand it any longer: "Officer, there's another fire-breathing dragon behind you, be careful! A room!!!! Hey, why are you so scorched?"
Office Chief:"… "
3. YY robs a bank.
University dormitory group.
We have robbed banks many times during our college days, but we never succeeded because the team had pig-like teammates every time.
This time, the headmaster decided to grab it again.
When assigning tasks, someone suggested that this time let Qingxi guard the outside.
The head of the room: "Have you lost your head! Let Qingxi check it out, TMD her five minutes is absolutely illusory, believe it or not!"
Plastic surgery expert: "Would you like Lan Lan to come?"
The head of the room: "Fuck! Lan Lan! Ada, your brain is broken, repaired, and broken again! When the police came, she must have said that I would lead you on the way. Do you believe it? If we want armed violence, she will definitely tell the police that I will hold you hostage. Believe it or not? After we were arrested, she absolutely said that I didn't know them. Do you believe it?!"
Lan Lan: "Xiao Shi, you can't say that. Everyone has to think about themselves haha! I'll help you plead for mercy in front of the judge."
Me: "Still grab it or not? Don't grab me and go to bed."
The head of the room: "Look! I'm going to bed before I grab her!!"
I:"… "
Lan Lan: "Otherwise, the experts will check, and I will wear stockings with the head of the house, and Qingxi will meet up, how about it?"
The head of the room: "... well, I haven't tried this assignment, let's try it!"
Official YY grab.
The head and Lan Lan put on stockings.
Lan Lan took a look in the mirror, "It's too ugly, isn't it?"
The head of the room: "Fuck! It's not looking for someone! It's OK to be professional!"
Plastic surgery expert: "Okay, stop arguing, Qingxi is going to fall asleep."
The head of the office: "Okay, hurry up, hurry up! After grabbing the sleep, the master gets off at the front door of the bank, pay attention to the surrounding environment and report back at any time! Qingxi waits in the back alley. After we meet, just drive out of the alley and drive to The warehouse I bought in advance, let's get out of the car and go through the secret passage! Is everyone clear? I don't believe that this time it won't work, Lan Lan, let's go!"
Me: "Boss, can I say something..."
The head of the room: "There's no time, what can Qingxi say when we're developed?"
After a long time, the prison.
Me: "Ashi, what I wanted to tell you at the time was, I think Ada... will call the police a second after you enter..."
The plastic surgery expert sat outside the glass, playing with his beautiful nails, with an elegant smile on the corner of his mouth, "I just don't want to see you go astray."
The head of the room, Lan Lan: "Fuck!"
Me: "I'm back in the prison, so sleepy."
This time is the fastest arrest in the history of YY bank robbery = =!
Later, after graduating, the head of the office went to work in a bank. As soon as she entered, she said, "The most painful thing about working in a bank is that the money you pass is not yours!"
But even so, the head of the office held a strange excitement about entering the bank. It took us a long time to understand.
It was a YY bank robbery a long time later. As an "industry insider", the head of the office provided valuable opinions and made internal responses.
But that still failed, because - I went to bed at midnight = =!
Going through the records the next day, the head of the office said, "Where's Qingxi?? Fuck, where is the person we're dealing with??!"
Daren: "I guess I fell asleep, yes, let's wash and sleep."
Lan Lan: "Hey, I have to get up early to go to work tomorrow. Go to sleep."
Head of the room: "Hey, I'm still in the vault! Hey hey!!"
"… "
4. Daily complaints about the dormitory group
Daren: Hey, a lot of people around me are getting married recently, it's stressful! Our undisputed dormitory is the first Xizi to marry, give me some pointers, baby!
Lanlan: You see, Qingxi, you always take the lead, right? I think the next one is me. I've given up hope for the other two.
Daren: You? Heh, unless that person is a masochist. I think it's possible for the head of the room to get excited and—
Lan Lan: The chief's problem is that it's useless for her to be excited. Men and women aren't excited.
Me: ... But according to what I heard, isn't it all the head of the office who dumps people
Lan Lan: Who said that? !
Me: the head of the room.
Lan Lan, Daren: ... Fuck!
Headmaster: Girls, I'm here! What are you all talking about...
Headmaster: Fuck!
Daren: Director, why are you calling us all here today? Even if you rob a bank, you go in every time, don't you get tired of it
Hearing this, the head of the room became furious: who was the one who held back the end of the prison so many times? what! Those who grabbed halfway to go to sleep, those who made up their minds to call the police, those who said they had to go to the toilet first when they were in a firefight, those who said they were going to do makeup when they were chased and ran away, and those who did not say the lines we colluded with before being caught, but immediately Say I'm all recruited, please let me go! Damn, every time I plan so detailed, the reason I fail is because of your pig-like teammates!
Lan Lan: Oh, Shi, I can't say that—
Room Chief: Fuck you! From today onwards, I want to wander around the world alone, rob banks alone, become prosperous, and hug left and right alone, wow, hahahaha! "
Lan Lan: "The last person goes to prison."
Office Chief:"… "
5. Once
As long as the head of the room sees a deep and dirty joke on the Internet, he will read it and share it. And usually when other people are silent (ignorant, thoughtful), I: "Pfft!"
The head of the room: "...So Qingxi is the real prostitute?!"
Lan Lan: "... This is the legendary dark horse."
Daren: "Fuck, I slept with her for so long, and I didn't even notice it!"
I:"… "
Me: "Actually, from another angle, this can also be understood as the level of IQ."
Daren blew on the nails he just painted: "Boss, is she implying that our IQ is low?"
The head of the room: "Xizai never hinted, but she said it clearly. Because the tone is very gentle, it is easy for people to misunderstand."
Lan Lan: "It's all here, let's fight."
I sweat: "Officer, I want to say the last sentence."
Lan Lan: "Don't!! Usually Qingxi's last words can turn the tide."
The head of the room: "What are you afraid of? I am here. I am a principled person! Say it!"
Me: "Uh, the day after tomorrow, I will take the international economics test. I have all the materials ready."
The head of the room: "Fuck you! Can Qingxi beat you casually? Don't put on nail polish, Qingxi doesn't like the smell of chemicals, and you Lanlan, you are always screaming and killing you as us. Is it a triad?!" Then he looked at me, with a pleasant expression, "Qingxi, I heard that Young Master Xu is going to fly over to see you recently, our Qingxi is so charming, look at this little face, look at this moist Big eyes, look at this bright red mouth..."
Master: "Boss, to be honest, I've seen wretched people, but I've never seen you so wretched. I'm going to call Xu Shao to say that you molested his daughter-in-law."
These days are about to be forgotten, and while you still remember, jot down some. Although ordinary, it is really precious.