On the first day of the weekend, Xiaoyu called a friend there: "I want to replace a small part on my car for four thousand oceans, and I can sell scrap iron for less than four cents! It's a fool."
Then what the other party said, he sneered, "I don't have any money." He paused, "But my wife has, hehe."
I am thinking that I have been walking on the road of moonlight, when have I been rich? I just heard him take another sentence: "That's right, I said this is just mad at you without a wife. How about it? Hahahahaha! It's so cool!"
… tremble
The car is about to be repaired, and Xu Weiyu called the 4S shop to make an appointment: "Hello, a XXX, the license plate is... Come over tomorrow afternoon."
The other party stopped for a while and said, "I'm sorry you made a mistake. This is the housekeeping service center. Do you need any services?"
I thought he was going to die, but he immediately asked, "What kind of service do you have?"
"Part-time workers, home nannies, etc."
So he called a part-time worker, came to the house tomorrow to clean up, and finally hung up the phone with satisfaction.
I watched him for a while and had to wonder, this guy "made the wrong call" on purpose? lazy him.
That day, the hourly worker was sent away the next day. Light rain was watching TV. His colleague called. He was too lazy to die, so he pressed the amplifier button and put it on the table to listen. A female voice was playing on the TV saying, "Don't go, I was wrong, please don't go!!"
The other party asked in a low voice, "How did you quarrel with your wife?"
Miyu: "No."
The other party: "Oh, it scared me to death. I also want to say that if you quarrel with your wife, then you should not come to the unit tomorrow, lest we be angered by you and be threatened with powerful life."
I was speechless sitting next to me.
Afterwards, I asked Xu Weiyu, "Have you ever lost your temper in your unit?"
"No," he said, "I just said that if I get divorced someday, you remember to lock all your weapons. That's what I said."
"… "
On National Day, our family and Xu Weiyu's family went to a restaurant for dinner.
When I walked into the hotel, I heard Wei Yu saying to his dad, "Can you help me deal with the ticket?" His dad said decisively, "No."
Then he started to drink his father's wine. When his father was drinking high, he patted his son's shoulder and said, "If you are drunk, we will help you."
Wei Yu put down the wine bottle decisively, turned around and said to my dad, "Dad, is it alright to switch now?"
This guy is really not afraid of any elders. My dad was always serious, and he made me laugh too.
What a treasure.
On the way home, I asked him, "I see you've been drinking. Let me drive. You can take a rest."
"It's just two cups. Besides, it's fine in the city."
"Most of your fines are from the city, right?"
Weiyu Youyu said: "Don't be so direct, by the way, dear, can you lend me your driver's license? I may not have enough points to deduct..."
"..." I seriously criticized, "you have to pay more attention next time!"
"That's for sure!"
"What if there is another fine?"
"I'll borrow it from you again!"
"..." After talking for a long time, it was all nonsense.
During the holiday, I accompanied Xu Weiyu's friends to see the car. Weiyu seems to have established the name of "automobile expert" in his circle of friends, including mine. Seeing the light rain, he stopped in front of a black car and asked, "How is this car?"
Salesperson: "Absolutely!"
The people next to us were silent, and even the salesman realized that he was just stunned, but Wei Yu nodded seriously and said, "Well, not bad."
"… "
Go to the bathroom at night to take a shower. I finished washing first and waited for Xu Weiyu in the hall, but I didn't see him for half an hour.
Only later did I find out that this guy fainted inside... After fainting, he was taken to the room where he changed his clothes, and a male staff was blowing him with an air conditioner. After waking up, the guy vaguely shouted: "I don't want special services!" It is said that the people next to him laughed madly.
When he got into the car, he leaned over and wiped my tears with my sleeve, "Everyone has been looked down upon, wife, you must soothe my heart when you go back."
"I didn't see it."
"Usually you watch it alone!"
"… "
On the way, he kept talking like Xianglin's sister-in-law: "I've been seen, sigh, what should I do, I've been seen, I feel so world-weary, what should I do, I'm naked, I'm ashamed, I don't feel like I'll ever love you again now…”
I said, "Is it that exaggerated?" I'm still tired of the world, and I don't know how to love...
He immediately raised his voice and said, "Yes, my body was originally naked for you alone, but now..." I interrupted him: "Your parents, grandparents, and some elders, probably many people have seen you naked. Right? Although it was when I was a child, but when I grew up, didn’t you say that when you were in college, you were taking a shower and comparing yourself to others? Uh, wouldn’t you be hurt by comparing yourself with foreigners?”
Wei Yu: "Say! Who are you?! Where is my wife?!"
"… "
I would be very lazy intermittently, I didn’t want to move at all, I didn’t even want to wash my clothes or cook, but I had a lump in my heart if I didn’t wash my clothes, so I called Xu Weiyu into the study and said, “I’ll give you a hundred, I’ll wash the clothes.”
Xu Weiyu paused, I thought he was going to say that I was unhappy, but he said, "People are not so cheap."
"two hundred?"
After washing, he ran back and said, "This customer, do you want to have a bed service or something? It's just 100 yuan."
Me: "No need."
"Fifty, fifty!"
"… "
"Post back, post back!"
"… "
In the evening, Xu Weiyu went online and saw a news that questioned the plastic surgery of a monster.
Wei Yu: "Did I spray it on the spot? The most critical parts of the family have been publicly plasticized, and a knife in other places is considered gross? Now the news is getting more and more boring."
"… "
Looking in the mirror while washing, he looked left and right and said, "My face is really 360 degrees with no dead ends."
As I was brushing my teeth, I tapped his collar, "There is foam left in this corner, and Dali is in a dead corner, so I didn't see it."
"… "
Xu Weiyu got up early in the morning and touched my pocket, and I said, "What are you doing?"
Wei Yu: "Dear, give me some money."
I thought to myself, I can't be so poor, so I asked, "Did you go out and make juice, something I don't know about?"
Miyu looked at me with a deep meaning, "Did you finally know?"
The word "eating, drinking and gambling" immediately appeared in my mind, only to hear him say again: "Didn't I silently stuff my small treasury with you? I tried my best to be a good man in the new era, and I didn't leave a penny for myself. money, and then when you suddenly find out one day, you will hug me and say 'husband, you are the best'! However, when I woke up early in the morning, the reality told me that the canteen of the unit has to pay for itself, so if the board, please give the small Ten dollars for a meal."
I was speechless for a long time, "Which dress did you put it in?" So the two of them turned over their coats there in the morning.
My cousin was teaching at the university, and I went to listen to her lectures when I had nothing to do. I didn't say hello to her in the past, but I picked a time for her class and sat in the back seat. A classmate next to me asked me softly, "You seem to have skipped several classes, classmate."
I didn't know how to answer, so I laughed without saying a word. The male student was very persistent and asked, "You're not from our class, are you?"
I said, "I am listening."
The other party said decisively: "Anyone who wants to audit university courses? Then you can give me your number, you can call me, and I will invite you to dinner."
Someone next to him laughed, 'He wants to soak you! "
The boy blushed and retorted, "No."
This boy should be true or not. He just wanted me to call him by name, but I still explained to the classmate who was secretly coaxing and encouraging him to chase after me, "I got the certificate."
The day after, I heard my cousin tell me in surprise that some students at their school are said to be married!
I:"… "
Went to the cinema with Xu Weiyu and a friend and couple (the man and Weiyu are brothers).
In the middle of the movie, the buddy said, "Tsk tsk, high IQ crime is this."
Xu Weiyu said slowly: "I can see the crime, but I don't have a high IQ."
Buddy: "Dude, don't you think this movie is very deep?"
Wei Yu: "It varies from person to person. It may be quite profound for you."
Buddy: "I said sister-in-law, is your husband attacking me personally?"
Me: "..." People who don't understand very well, don't want to make any comments on this.