When Xu Weiyu is very shameless, I will say to him: "What about your integrity?"
He looked back and smiled, Bai Meisheng said, "When I fell in love with you, I fell."
Then, when his colleagues and friends were stimulated by his devious behavior under the elegant temperament of the breeze and the bright moon, they would say to him: "Brother Yu, your integrity is lost!"
He turned his head and smiled, "No, it's your integrity."
In short, I have received more than one phone call about Xu Weiyu's ethics.
"Brother and sister, you have to decide for me, yes, I am his colleague, from the same department, my surname is Liu, and I suffered from his inhumane violations! There is no guarantee for the evening, and I want to jump into the river, but there are old and young at home... "
"… "
Later I asked him, "How did you violate your colleague Liu?"
Wei Yu: "Fuck! He has nothing to do all day. He wanders around in my office. It's so annoying. Someone brought him handcuffs and tied him to his seat, and let him stop for a while."
"… "
The Light Rain unit organized to go somewhere to fight real cs, and I was taken there with all kinds of reluctance. Fortunately, many gay men also brought their families.
Assigned before playing, according to the lottery method, Wei Yu and I became enemies. He took my hand and said, "Daughter-in-law, I'm an organized and disciplined person, so what did I do to you later, please... The adults don't remember the villains, don't let me kneel on the keyboard when I get home. ."
Someone in front shouted: "Brother Yu, what are you doing with your mother-in-law? Come and gather!"
Wei Yu: "What's the noise, I'm reaffirming my borderline soldier personality!"
The fight started, and it didn't take long for me to be held at gunpoint.
Xu Weiyu came running from a distance, "Wait wait! That prisoner let me come!"
I looked at the sky, when Xu Weiyu ran over, he looked at his teammates affectionately, and then killed him.
Teammate: "… "
I:"… "
Wei Yu: "I can't do anything to beauties."
I, who is not a beautiful woman, sincerely said, "You should kill me with one shot. I really want to go down for tea."
It is said that Xu Weiyu once went to dinner with his colleagues after get off work. There was a US military exercise two days ago, so they exchanged this content there while eating, and occasionally leaked words such as "missile", "power", "delivery" and so on. , they speak more professionally, and they will add a few words: "What if you run into something from our army?" "It's uncertain who wins and who loses."
So many people who eat dinner silently turn their eyes to them.
In the end, when their group of intellectuals paid the bill, the shop owner waved his hand and said boldly: "Brother, you are all going to fight in front of you, I'll invite you now! Listen to you, now the weapons are so awesome... I guess..." The shop owner couldn't bear it. turned his head.
When Wei Yu said to me, his face was full of melancholy, "That eldest brother invited us to the 'last supper'. After that time, we were too embarrassed to go to that small restaurant again..."
Xu Weiyu's various hooligan quotes.
After tumbling in bed for a week and a half, he looked at me affectionately, "It looks like he's been hit by a vicious man and woman, and this girl passing by should get rid of the poison... Hey, don't go, girl!"
Busy in front of the computer, he ran over and said, "Please lose yourself."
While drying clothes, he circled in a circle and said with a cute face: "This good-looking contractor, please contract me? As long as you work hard, you will be guaranteed a great harvest next year, and you will earn no loss."
I:"… "
Of course, it's basically bullshit.
Outside, when he was with his friends, when he saw someone looking at the beautiful woman, Wei Yu snorted coldly: "What about your quality?" After that, he said, "If you want to see it, just look at your own, and others will look at it for nothing!"
I couldn't help but ask him once, "You guys don't have any noble sentiments?"
Wei Yu smiled lewdly: "...Love...Fuck...I have it all, of course, I only have it for you!"
I tried to call the head of the room, but I dialed the wrong number, but I didn't hear the "hello" at first, so I continued: "Do I want to introduce you to someone? Although he is an only child, he has a good personality and looks good. Not bad, the height is slightly less than the 1.8-meter requirement you want, what do you think, do you want to take a look?"
The other party: "But... I like women."
Looking at the phone, it turned out to be a male friend with the same surname as the head of the room. The business card holder was lined up with the head of the room.
Embarrassed and immediately said a typo.
The other party laughed: "I believe, because I don't have a requirement of 1.8 meters for women. By the way, your husband said that he is still growing, what's the matter? How did you make it up for him? Give him some pointers, I want more Raise five centimeters and you will develop!"
I also wanted to know what was going on, so I asked Xu Weiyu at night: "Are you still growing?"
"Yeah! I always feel like stepping on the air when I sleep these two days."
I wiped my sweat, "Is that a calcium deficiency?"
Light Rain: "… "
When I was chatting with Xu Weiyu online, I had something to do, so I said to him, "Come back and talk about it."
Then when I came back, I saw a bunch of words on the screen: "It's the most annoying to come back after the advertisement!"
"If you leave, don't come back!"
"You go! You go! Don't come back if you walk out this door!"
"I knew it was me who was always paying between us!"
I replied, "Why isn't there that classic 'feeling never to love again'?"
Xu Weiyu: "Is your immunity strong..."
After dinner, I came back from a walk and crossed the road. A car ran a red light and passed in front of me. Xu Weiyu immediately pulled me back. He glanced at the license plate of the car and said, "Wait for the double ticket. Second hand!"
After the two of them crossed the road I asked him, "What would you do if a car did crash into it?"
Wei Yu: "Then you still have to think about it, push you away, I will fall to the ground, you come back to corrupt money, you won't kill him!"
I was speechless, "It's not advisable to deceive people, right?"
"We must cross the road abiding by the law, and the people who will bump into are not long-sighted, and those who are not long-eyed are polite to him and corrupt him! It's best to pay for the living expenses later, call him when you are sick, think about it. Call him after eating, hum."
"Are you guys talking about love?"
Xu Weiyu was on the phone with someone: "When I say 'unhappy' about something, don't waste your time, no matter what you say, I will never agree! Say more, one, it will make me even more irritated. Unhappy, two, I'm still 'unhappy'."
I said to him later: "You usually say 'unhappy' in nine out of ten things, unhappy sir?"
Wei Yu: "But I'm always happy sir to you, H sir for short!"
I wonder if he understands what H means
One day I casually asked him, "Happy sir, what do you think makes you the most happy?"
Light Rain: "H!"
'… '
Watching TV at night, it was raining heavily in the north during this time, and the sun was shining every day on our side, so I said, "Why doesn't the rain come to us here?"
Xu Weiyu listened, nodded and said, "That is to say, it's raining and dew!"
Friend: "One sentence proves that you are the master of the family!"
Wei Yu: "I hold the economic power in my family!"
Me: "...I have the final say on whether you are happy or not."
"… "