Time went back to before she came to Cheese World this time.
That night, she played badminton with Pei Zhi and the future Zhang Liang. After returning home, she once flipped through the photo album of the little white flower on the foundation.
She was sure that the letter contained in the same album was from Professor Paul Gee.
That was Lao Lin's undesired mentor. Because he did not go to report in Chu, the professor wrote to ask why a few months later.
This is the moment in the world of cheese.
The same album, the same number of pages, but the letters appearing in it have undergone some subtle changes.
Although both the letter of inquiry and the letter of acceptance showed that Lao Lin failed to go to Chu to study in the end, they were different after all.
But why exactly? Lin Zhaoxi began to think.
On the stone table, a hand quietly reached out and touched the acceptance letter.
With sharp eyes and quick hands, Lin Zhaoxi pressed down on the letter.
Lao Lin sat upright and didn't let go.
At this time, in another plot paragraph, Lao Lin 7 years ago.
In this episode, she was no longer the burden of Lao Lin. Lao Lin got the admission letter, but still failed to continue his mathematics study.
So what is the problem
This time, Lin Zhaoxi asked straightforwardly, "Why don't you go to school?"
"Because I did something wrong." Lao Lin replied more simply.
Lin Zhaoxi gasped, never expecting the answer to be so simple.
She tentatively asked: "Emotional problems, do you start chaotically and end up giving up?"
"I'm a little embarrassed to say that."
When Lao Lin said this, he avoided her eyes in shame. Lin Zhaoxi had never seen Comrade Lao Lin like this before. He widened his eyes and blinked twice.
"I don't understand." Lin Zhaoxi said, "Why don't you have a wife, why don't you want me, why don't you devote yourself to academics when you are alone?"
Lin Zhaoxi raised the question in her heart in one breath.
The courtyard fell silent again.
She looked at Lao Lin, and Lao Lin looked at her.
After a while, Lao Lin stood up and walked to the coal stove at the bottom of the wall.
He opened the lid of the pot, scooped up the thick porridge soup with a long spoon, took out a bowl, and placed it in front of her.
Lin Zhaoxi took the porcelain spoon from Lao Lin and calmed down.
Her question is ridiculous.
How could Lao Lin abandon his wife and daughter, let alone give up his studies, so she already knew the answers to these questions.
—I'm not, I don't, it's all those little things that make my life go wrong.
"I'm sorry." Lin Zhaoxi said, "I seem to want to know the answer too much, but these are actually your business."
After she finished speaking, she began to drink porridge and kept silent. The porridge was a bit hot, but in order to pretend to be serious about eating, she drank it quickly.
"Look, this thing is actually like this. I don't know if you can accept it." Lao Lin's voice was gentle, coming from her side.
He said: "Because your mother didn't want me, I lost you, so that I felt that school is not a big thing, so I gave it up."
—
In the evening, it rained heavily again.
Lin Zhaoxi was sitting at the desk with a blank sheet of paper in front of her. It was late, but she did not fall asleep.
In the dark night, the light in front of the desk was dim, and Lao Lin's words echoed in her ears over and over again.
Old Lin is always like this.
Whenever he talked about some key issues, he could always use the simplest and peaceful narrative, full of logic, frankness and sincerity, as if these things were really no big deal.
But she thought again, she knew Lao Lin very well.
She knew how much Lao Lin loved mathematics. Because of losing her daughter, she didn't even want to continue her studies. How could it be no big deal
She comes from the real world and knows that there are many things in it. She knew that Lao Lin was punished for academic misconduct, and she also knew that his unfinished thesis almost made him regret for life.
However, in Lao Lin's narration, none of these were mentioned at all.
Lao Lin didn't want to hide it, but to him, these were trivial matters not worth mentioning.
Lin Zhaoxi rubbed her face.
In Lao Lin's heart, she was more important than she thought.
The rain hit the tiles with a pattering sound, and the glass was covered with mist.
Lin Zhaoxi couldn't help but recall the scene when she first came to Cheese World. Because she couldn't find her father, she tiptoed to look out of this window.
Later, she met Lao Lin who became an administrator in the park. At that time, she thought about many reasons, and also thought that Lao Lin started to exile himself because he lost her, but she didn't dare to think about it deeper.
This often seems to be the case between parents and children.
On the one hand, they always believe that they are very important in each other's minds, and on the other hand, they express uncertainty about the importance and are already apprehensive.
Perhaps because of this mood, she always wanted to figure out the relationship between her and Lao Lin's life.
She also wanted to know, what finally caused the plot lines of the two worlds to deviate
Lin Zhaoxi thought for a long time, and finally picked up the pencil.
Although she can't give a full picture of many things due to lack of details, she can still organize and speculate.
She draws two long lines on the paper, with arrows on the right, indicating the timelines of the two different worlds.
The time can only be roughly estimated, so after roughly dividing the time cut-off point online, she marked the time with a little girl's avatar with braided horns, roughly indicating her age.
y is an abbreviation for age.
* Items are speculative items
[Real Strawberry World]
Daughter-0.ny—found academic misconduct
Daughter 0 y—wife doesn't want him (according to Strawberry World information speculation)*
Daughter 0.ny - Leaving school to raise daughter
Daughter 1 y—professor pg asked Lao Lin why he didn't go to school
Daughter 22y—Graph isomorphism-related papers plagiarized by tutor
[Parallel Cheese World]
Daughter-0.ny—found academic misconduct (as speculated by Strawberry World Information)*
Daughter-0.1my—Receive the admission notice from chu (according to the postmark time before the birth of the daughter)
Daughter 0y—wife doesn't want him, loses daughter
Daughter 0.ny — Leaving school to become a park ranger
Daughter 12y—Recognized
She stared at the paper for a long time, and found that the problem seemed not as complicated as she thought.
According to the information she has so far, the elements of the event are roughly: academic plagiarism, her birth, mother, the letter in the photo album, and her fate.
So far, two things have changed.
1. Her fate
2. Letters in the photo album
And all the problems happened at the time node "before and after her birth".
Look at the most important event "Mom" first—
Because she doesn't have a mother in the real strawberry world, she basically confirms that mothers in the real world also don't want Lao Lin.
Then the "mother" problem should not have led to a change in her fate.
Look at plagiarism again—
In the parallel cheese world, Lao Lin also did not complete the thesis on graph isomorphism. She only needs to go to Yongchuan University to check the yearbook to get the answer.
From the current point of view, there is a high probability that this incident has nothing to do with the change of her fate.
so…
Lin Zhaoxi looked at the words "letter in the album" that she had written, and was confused again.
Although she didn't understand why, it seemed that this matter had something to do with her fate
If you are confused for a long time, you will become sleepy.
Lin Zhaoxi lay on the table, dazed.
For a while, I feel that her reasoning is not rigorous. Although my mother does not want Lao Lin, it may be that the change in the way she does not want her has caused her fate to change.
On the contrary, the letter difference is likely to be another incident related to academic misconduct but independent of her fate.
After all, a lot of key information is missing, and people will be more sleepy after thinking too much about the problem.
Lin Zhaoxi lay down on the table, marking another day on the calendar in her mind.
Before she knew it, she had been here for more than eighty days, and there were still fifteen days left before Lao Lin's car accident and her final departure from this world.
—
the next day.
Lin Zhaoxi was very angry when she woke up.
It wasn't because her arms were numb from lying on the table all night, nor was it because her face was blackened by pencil marks.
It's because according to the routine in the novel, on important nights, people should always dream about something. But she slept soundly, not only didn't have any dreams, but also drool on half a sheet of paper.
"It's eight o'clock!" Lao Lin shouted from the yard.
"Already awake!" Lin Zhaoxi regained consciousness.
This weekend, Lao Lin told her to get up early, because she had told Lao Lin two days ago.
Originally, she made an appointment with Pei Zhi and Chen Zhu that after the math league, they would find time to test the prediction program. But now, Pei Zhi obviously can't carry out the plan.
Lin Zhaoxi pursed her lips, crumpled the paper into a ball, stuffed it into her pocket, rubbed her face twice, and walked out of the room.
Lao Lin was digging the soil by the courtyard wall, digging out the tulip bulbs buried yesterday one by one. In the late autumn and early winter, the morning light was soft and shone on his back.
"You still made a mistake?" Lin Zhaoxi asked.
"I asked Lao Li when I was shopping for vegetables." Lao Lin was honest, "But it doesn't hurt."
On the stone table was the breakfast bought by Lao Lin.
Lin Zhaoxi knew very well that because of the heavy research tasks, Lao Lin hadn't bought her breakfast for a long time.
Now it's digging the soil and buying breakfast, just because of the conversation last night. Lao Lin didn't know what kind of attitude she would respond to, so he tentatively tried to find something to talk to her about. .
The soy milk was steaming, and Lao Lin turned his head, showing a smile that he was in control of everything.
Lin Zhaoxi's originally chaotic mood suddenly calmed down.
She squeezed the paper in her pocket.
In fact, the world line has changed as early as the moment she was born, but she is still her, and Lao Lin is still the same Lao Lin 7 years ago.
Regardless of whether it really makes sense to try everything in the end, she will continue to try.