Many times afterwards, Lin Zhaoxi thought about what she was feeling at that time.
Whether she really "thought" to give up, the answer is yes; but whether she really "want to give up", the answer is no.
The more torture you have, the more you can recover from your emotions, but it takes time to recover. For Lin Zhaoxi, she didn't delete the file at that time, it was just because Lao Lin called suddenly.
She was burning hot all over, touching Lao Lin's name on the Nokia screen, and for a moment she didn't want to answer the phone.
I can't tell why, but it's probably an instinctive reaction when I want to escape. When she realized this, she picked up the phone bravely and put the phone close to her ear.
"Are you free tonight?" There was a lot of noise on the phone, and Lao Lin's voice was a little hoarse.
The moment she heard Lao Lin's voice, Lin Zhaoxi's nose felt sore, but her mood suddenly softened.
"Not just now, but now," she said.
"Then come out and have a meal, I always want to see you."
Lin Zhaoxi reacted for a while before realizing who Lao Zeng was, and couldn't help stammering: "Old... Zeng, why does Professor Zeng want to see me?"
"It must be your outstanding performance during the training camp at Sanwei University, which impressed Professor Zeng deeply."
Lin Zhaoxi murmured: "How could Professor Zeng remember me? We had never seen him at that time."
"So, he just politely said, 'Call your daughter to come with me', and I also politely called to ask for your opinion."
This is Lao Lin, Lin Zhaoxi felt a lot of fresh and real breath, she wiped away her tears: "I'll go."
"Girls should be gentle and don't swear casually." Lao Lin said.
Lin Zhaoxi was choked again, but she could hear the smile in Lao Lin's words, she breathed out and said, "I mean, I'm going to eat."
"The hotel is near the guest house. I'll pick you up later."
"kindness."
—
When Lin Zhaoxi left the Internet cafe, she didn't even take her schoolbag, but she still remembered to take her medicine.
She was wrapped in a scarf and sat waiting for Lao Lin at the door of the guest house. The first snow laid a layer of background color for the inaccessible alleys.
She was blown drowsy by the heating, squinting her eyes on the sofa, and heard the sound of "squeak" and "squeak" stepping on the snow in a trance. She looked up, and saw someone walking towards her in the dark night, wearing the dim light of a street lamp, stepping on the snow in the empty alley.
The background was a pitch-black night, and the door curtain swayed slightly. Lin Zhaoxi rubbed her eyes, feeling like she was dreaming.
Lao Lin put down the curtain and put his hand on the door. He was a little tired from the revision for days, but his smile was still gentle and cunning.
"What a coincidence." He asked with a smile, "Has Xiao Lin had dinner?"
Lin Zhaoxi was stunned for a moment, and then replied, "What a coincidence, Master Lin, where is your daughter, is she out of school?"
"I'll look for it." Lao Lin looked around, and finally his eyes drifted to her, smiling at her, "Isn't my daughter right here?"
Looking at Lao Lin's smiling gaze, Lin Zhaoxi suddenly remembered something she could do nothing about. Her chest seemed to be stuffed with heavy cotton, she couldn't save such an old Lin.
Silence lasted for a while.
Lao Lin seemed to have noticed something unusual, and before he could speak, Lin Zhaoxi got up from the sofa with a grunt, went up to hold Lao Lin's arm, and sniffed, "I'm starving to death."
"How hungry, do you want to eat barbecue or hot pot? Do you want to boil the tripe and fat beef, the baby vegetables are scalded soft, and some beef sauce?"
"..." Lin Zhaoxi swallowed, she was not hungry at first, but now her stomach started to growl.
—
In order to prevent Lao Lin from finding out that she was sick, she deliberately pretended to be alive and well, and spent all her time chatting with Lao Lin.
So much so that she was taken to the door of the sheep soup shop, and through the foggy glass window, she saw half a table of people sitting inside, and realized the specifications of the party.
Professor Zeng sat in the back, and beside him sat three middle-aged men. They looked about the same age as Lao Lin, but one of them, Lin Zhaoxi, was later seen on the wall of the Department of Mathematics of Sanwei University. He was a master in the study of the mathematical structure of gauge fields, so the identities of the remaining two were self-evident.
Lin Zhaoxi froze outside the door for a while, not knowing how to move her hands and feet. But Lao Lin didn't seem to feel any problem, and led her in directly.
Lin Zhaoxi felt like she was standing in front of the table like a wooden man, and when Lao Lin introduced several people in turn, she would only shout "Hello, Professor".
A few professors just nodded and said "yes", and finally, Professor Zeng said politely: "Zhaosheng's daughter is already this old."
"Haven't you seen it?" Lao Lin asked back.
Professor Zeng was embarrassed, and broke the jar: "If you don't pretend to meet for the first time, what do you want me to say?"
"Didn't you say you want to see my daughter?" Lao Lin led her to a seat, "What's the matter with all of you being so socially impeded now?"
Lin Zhaoxi thought that not everyone is as easy to see as you are, but of course she dared not say it.
The mutton pot with clear soup in the middle of the table was steaming, and the side dishes seemed to be cooked softly, dispelling the winter chill.
She told herself not to think about the procedure or the car accident, and took the bowl to ladle the soup by herself. She first handed the scooped mutton soup to Lao Lin, then brought him chopsticks, and finally scooped a bowl for herself. When she looked up again, everyone else on the table was staring at her blankly.
Lin Zhaoxi drank two mouthfuls of soup and looked at Lao Lin puzzled.
"Two have sons, and two are unmarried. It's not easy to feel the caring of a daughter at such an age." Lao Lin is straightforward.
Lin Zhaoxi almost choked.
"Old Lin is too much."
"Hateful."
The professors at the table finally started shouting, and even Professor Zeng pointed at Lao Lin.
Lin Zhaoxi smiled, pretending to suddenly realize: "That's no wonder."
"cough."
"Cough, cough cough."
The professors all stared at Lao Lin, and finally someone said: "We still don't believe you said that your daughter has been found. Looking at it now, your daughter is almost carved out of you."
Hearing this, Lin Zhaoxi was a little happy.
It wasn't because they said she resembled Lao Lin, but because she could tell that these professors and Lao Lin were old acquaintances.
This kind of party was what Lao Lin should have enjoyed. After many years, in this world, he finally never missed it again.
Because of Lao Lin's two complaints, the dining table became warm and cozy. The adults started to chat about some math problems, very professional, but Lin Zhaoxi couldn't understand.
She didn't think about it, but simply enjoyed the last time with Lao Lin in this world. She drank the mutton soup, and it seemed that even the soreness caused by the high fever all over her body subsided.
There was heavy snow outside the window, and the light from the floor-to-ceiling windows could illuminate a small area of the road, making the snow look shiny. The lights of thousands of families in the world seem to be equally perfect.
Lin Zhaoxi finished a bowl of soup and ate a few mouthfuls of rice, but she didn't have much appetite because of the high fever.
When she put down the spoon, she suddenly noticed a professor wearing a black and white checkered shirt at the dinner table. He didn't speak from the beginning to the end, but he seemed to listen carefully to every word.
At this moment, the middle-aged man seemed to receive her gaze, and suddenly said: "Didn't your daughter die when she was born, and then she was found suddenly, how can you be sure that she is your daughter?"
The surroundings fell silent for a moment.
The professor in the black and white checkered shirt spoke slowly but seriously. His words were endless, but it seemed like he had been thinking for a long time before he could understand, so he asked if he didn't understand.
The other professors at the table didn't react too much, they just regarded it as an ordinary question.
"We did a DNA test." Lao Lin replied.
"Oh, that's right."
Nothing else matters, for them the results of science are everything, and the process is not important.
"Dead".
Lin Zhaoxi recited this sentence silently in her heart, thinking that her mother probably used this reason to hide the truth from Lao Lin. I just don't know why Lao Lin in the real world would discover this lie, but Lao Lin in the parallel space did not.
"We're done eating, let's go first." Lao Lin put down the bowl and chopsticks, stood up and said hello.
Lin Zhaoxi was taken aback. She didn't know why Lao Lin had to leave suddenly. Under normal circumstances, this would be a turn of events. But the professors at the table didn't think it was a problem to leave after eating, and Lao Lin didn't have any displeasure on his face.
Lin Zhaoxi was a little dazed, but when she received Lao Lin's gaze, she hurriedly stood up. "Good-bye." She bowed and trotted to keep up with Lao Lin.
Walking out of the mutton soup shop, the bright yellow umbrella was opened in the snowy night, and the heavy snow fell on the umbrella surface.
Lin Zhaoxi looked up and found that it was the cultural umbrella of Sanwei University. When it was illuminated by the street lamp, she felt unreal: "Dad, why are you unhappy?"
she asked.
"What do you think?" Lao Lin rarely used rhetorical questions.
"I think the professors in the Department of Mathematics are straightforward. You don't have to worry about me being unhappy. I don't care about such things."
Lin Zhaoxi was talking to herself, but she noticed that Lao Lin suddenly stopped and looked at her with probing eyes.
"Why, what's the matter?"
Lao Lin covered her forehead with his hand, and said to himself, "Is this stupid?"
Lin Zhaoxi: "..."
After a while, Lao Lin withdrew his hand and continued walking forward. Lin Zhaoxi could only continue to follow, she thought she was acting very well, but Lao Lin had already seen it. Lao Lin left the meeting early not because of those words, but because she had a fever.
Lin Zhaoxi could only be cautious: "Dad."
"It's my father's fault that he didn't take good care of you." Lao Lin sighed, "I made my daughter have a high fever, and I have to resist telling my father."
"Yes... I'm sorry." After thinking for a long time to explain, she could only hold back these few words.
Lin Zhaoxi looked at the street covered in heavy snow ahead, and felt that it was not the way back to the guest house: "Where are we going now?"
"Hospital."