"Have you told Master?" Lin Zhaoxi asked Pei Zhi.
"No."
"Then why did Master say 'I'm back'? He only said I'd come back when he knew I was going out?"
"You should see it yourself."
Lin Zhaoxi gasped, and turned to take a peek at Lao Lin.
They were on their way to a picnic at this time. Lao Lin took a cigarette and told them to go faster, while he smoked slowly behind him, so as not to smoke them.
—
The picnic camp chosen by Lao Lin is Camp No. 3 of the Oasis Base.
Compared with restaurants with a beautiful environment, this place is basically in a semi-primitive state, with a large lawn surrounded by small trees and facing the big lake.
Mainly to give parents and children a sense of the wild, there are no barbecue pits on the lawn except a small stove made of bricks.
Lao Lin paid the usage fee, received a bundle of firewood and an iron pot, and took them to find a small stove.
"Which one to choose?" Lao Lin asked.
Lin Zhaoxi put the rice and vegetables casually: "Do I still have to choose?"
"Please be sensitive to numbers at all times." Lao Lin was disgusted.
Lin Zhaoxi: "Then 88?"
Lao Lin immediately turned his head: "Boy, it's still you."
"Why not 88!" Lin Zhaoxi protested.
"Anyway, last time I could say something about affinity." Lao Lin muttered in a low voice, patted Pei Zhi on the shoulder, and entrusted him with a heavy responsibility.
Pei Zhi walked forward, found Xiao Zao, and sat down cross-legged.
Lao Lin walked over and looked at Xiao Zao's number, very satisfied.
"17, this is indeed an interesting number, tell me, why did you choose this number?"
"Because this stove is the closest to us." Pei Zhi replied.
It was rare for Lao Lin to be choked, and looked at Pei Zhi with his hips on his hips, speechless.
Lin Zhaoxi laughed until she fell down.
—
Lao Lin sat in front of the small stove No. 17 and lit a fire.
She and Pei Zhi were sent to wash rice and vegetables by a pool far away, and Lao Lin himself would never admit that this was revenge.
In summer, the sky is high and the clouds are light, but it is not too sunny. Many families nearby are taking their children to play.
Lin Zhaoxi started to wash the vegetables, but within a few washes, Pei Zhi silently took the vegetables and pushed the rice to her to wash.
Washing the rice was quick, and Lin Zhaoxi was done in threes and fives.
She wiped her hands and watched Pei Zhi wash things seriously.
Break open the vegetables first, then wash the silted part at the bottom, and finally wash the leaves gently.
Lin Zhaoxi watched Pei Zhixiao's serious and skillful movements, and subconsciously wanted to help.
"No, don't get your hands wet again."
Pei Zhi spoke naturally, but with a very adult tone, probably what his mother often said to him.
Lin Zhaoxi froze for a moment, only listening to the sound of water hitting the pool tiles.
Classmate Pei Zhixiao glanced over peacefully, probably aware of the problem with his tone, and he turned his head silently.
Lin Zhaoxi remembered what Hanamaki had said, thought about it, and said with a smile, "Brother Pei, do you often work at home? You wash well."
"No work."
"oh."
"When my dad was still there, he liked cooking very much."
"Um."
Lin Zhaoxi draws the tone, but suddenly feels wrong, why do you say, before... in
She looked at Pei Zhi puzzled, and Pei Zhi was draining the vegetables and said, "He passed away."
"Yes... I'm sorry..." Lin Zhaoxi was a little at a loss, subconsciously, she looked at Comrade Lao Lin in the distance as if asking for help.
But Lao Lin was immersed in lighting the fire and didn't even look at them.
"Why are you sorry?" Pei Zhi was very calm.
This question was too difficult to answer. Lin Zhaoxi bowed her head and thought for a long time, but couldn't answer, so that when they finished washing the dishes and went back to find Lao Lin, they remained silent.
On Lao Lin's side, the fire in the stove hadn't been lit yet.
Holding a magnifying glass, he saw them coming and told them to put down their things quickly and observe the green smoke that was about to rise.
"What you are about to witness is a miracle of nature."
Lao Lin said excitedly. However, neither she nor Pei Zhi spoke.
Lao Lin quickly noticed the abnormality: "It's just washing the dishes, and this is a quarrel?"
"What natural miracle?" Lin Zhaoxi quickly changed the subject.
"What's wrong?" Lao Lin asked, "The confession failed, are you so embarrassed?"
Lin Zhaoxi shook her head desperately, signaling Lao Lin not to ask any more questions.
"No, it happened to be about my family." Pei Zhi said.
Lao Lin asked casually: "Yeah, what's wrong with your house, even she has people come to see her on weekends, why didn't you?"
"Because my mother objected to my coming to the summer camp, I came alone."
"Oh, what about your father?" Lao Lin asked casually.
"Passed away." Pei Zhi repeated again.
Lao Lin's hands holding the magnifying glass did not tremble at all, and his tone was also very ordinary: "The girl asked this just now, so she is very embarrassed?"
"It should be?" Pei Zhidao was also very calm, and answered truthfully, "She said she was sorry, so I asked her why she was sorry?"
"Yes, why did you say sorry?" Lao Lin also raised his head and asked.
Lin Zhaoxi stood in the wind, speechless.
"It's neither your fault nor his fault, so don't feel sorry." Lao Lin said, "And death has many meanings, sometimes it's regret, sometimes it's relief."
Hearing this, Pei Zhi nodded seriously, as if he agreed with Lao Lin's point of view very much.
Lin Zhaoxi pursed his lips. Looking at Lao Lin and Pei Zhi, he always felt that what Lao Lin said meant something.
Of course, Pei Zhi also reacted quickly.
Pei Zhi: "Master, why did you stop me in the park that day?"
He was referring to the day when he and Zhang Liang were in the Young Eagle Squad activity, Lao Lin finally stopped him and crushed him.
"Seeing how handsome you are, it's a bit unpleasant."
"I don't think so."
His eyes were clear, and he just looked at Lao Lin like this, as if he would not give up until he got the correct answer.
When Pei Zhi got serious, Lao Lin was no match.
The sun continued to gather, the dead leaves pierced through, and the flames finally sprang up.
Lao Lin put down the magnifying glass, and finally looked at Pei Zhi: "I've seen you before. Your dad took you to the park, played chess with you, took you on a small train..."
Lao Lin answered this way, but Pei Zhi asked a completely different question.
Pei Zhi: "He had an attack in the park once, and you were there?"
"yes."
"I heard it was a park ranger who rescued him from the river. Is it you?"
Lao Lin's expression was tangled: "It seems to be me, but I never know if I did it right."
"I don't know what he thinks." Pei Zhi said, "But for me, thank you for saving him that time and letting him stay with me for another year."
They sat by the earthen stove, chatting, the fire had already been lit, and the smell of smoke was very light.
The story is so simple that you can even get the whole picture from the dialogue.
Pei Zhi's father also liked to take him to that park to play. Lao Lin had a very good memory and remembered the father and son very early.
The son was bright, and the father was clearly a smart man.
But what really made Lao Lin remember Pei Zhi's father was because he rescued him from the river in the park one morning.
Unlike those who committed suicide in despair of life, Pei Zhi's father always maintained a state of disengagement and excitement, and even wanted to go on. It took Lao Lin a lot of effort to subdue him.
At that time, Lao Lin knew that Pei Zhi's father was a schizophrenic patient.
Pei Zhi said that until the final suicide, his father never lived a sober life.
He also said that in fact, his father lives soberly every day, just in his own world, which is also very good, because no matter what, he is still with him.
He knew he was selfish, but he couldn't help it...
At the end of the story, the story was over, and the soft aroma of vegetables and rice came from the iron pot, with a slightly burnt smell.
Pei Zhi never had red eyes from the beginning to the end, as if he was talking about other people's affairs, and it seemed that he had thought about this matter many times, and it was completely organized, so there was nothing to be sad about.
"Oh, that's a pity." Lao Lin said.
"What are you sorry about?" Pei Zhi asked Lao Lin the same way he asked her back just now.
"You are too young to know so many things."
Lao Lin said calmly. He sat forward a little and pressed the child's face on his shoulders, like a man does to a man.
There are tiny grass clippings in the wind, like foam from the waves. Lin Zhaoxi looked at them and rubbed her eyes.
—
Later, Lao Lin took them to lie on the lawn by the lake, she was on the left of Lao Lin, and Pei Zhi was on the right of Lao Lin.
As the sky gradually darkened, there were fewer and fewer people around, and in the end, only they were left. There is no light pollution in the suburbs, it is the night sky with the purest color, bright white sand is sprinkled on the black velvet background
At first, Lao Lin wanted to take them to recognize the stars, but his astronomical knowledge was not so rich, and he couldn't tell anything except the Big Dipper. After being corrected several times by Pei Zhi, Lao Lin began to talk about the history of mathematics again.
He said that the development of mathematics is closely related to the earliest human beings paying attention to the starry sky. Astrology sacrifices, astronomy and calendar, and those who are the best in mathematics are sent to do these things.
Needless to say, those in ancient Greece, Plato's student Eudoxus used 27 spheres to try to describe planetary motion. The issue of heliocentric theory and geocentric theory has been entangled for one or two thousand years, and it was not until the Renaissance that Copernicus opened up a corner...
Lin Zhaoxi listened to his father's voice slowly narrating, as well as Pei Jian's words of inquiry. In the end, the two of them began to talk about the theory of relativity.
She heard her father talk about the formula that brought her into this world, but Pei Zhi's words echoed in her mind - thank you for saving him that time and letting him stay with me for another year.
For children, the existence of parents is indispensable. Even if Pei Zhi deeply understands how death will relieve his father, he still has such thoughts.
It's good to have Dad by his side for another year.
But just like she always wondered if Lao Lin would be happier without her. Pei Zhi also must have wondered whether his father would have chosen to use death to relieve the pain earlier if he did not have himself.
But whether it was her in the past or Pei Zhi now, they still haven't got the answer.
The night sky has a kind of foggy color at the edge of the strong light. If you look at it for a long time, you will feel dizzy.
"Master, do you think it's better to be alone, or to have a child?"
Lin Zhaoxi turned around and finally asked a question that old Lin had never answered directly in that world.
Surrounded by her father when she was young, she also became very small.
They are now maintaining the most appropriate distance that is neither far nor near, neither salty nor dull, and now is probably the best chance for her to get the answer
— Comrade Lao Lin, is my existence a drag on you after all
"Of course it's better when you're alone." Lao Lin had an expression on his face where you had an illusion.
"That's it." Lin Zhaoxi felt relieved.
"But with kids, I probably feel more alive."
"What is the feeling of being alive?"
"It's just something to worry about."
"Didn't you have it before?"
"It didn't happen before, but now it gradually does."
Lin Zhaoxi turned her head again, looking into her father's smiling eyes.
The night was hazy, and the wrinkles around his eyes were clear, which overlapped with his face many years later.
She was a little sad, but also very happy.
I couldn't tell what it was like, but I knew at that moment that this was also Lao Lin's true thoughts in that world.
The star sand above the head is bright, and the dew condenses on the leaves.
Her father's big hand was on her head, like it was many years ago, it has never changed.