The sound of turning the doorknob interrupted Wang Xu's thoughts. He looked around and saw the principal pushing the door in.
"Student Wang Xu." The principal pushed the black-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose, looked at Wang Xu with a serious expression, and said, "It's good that you are here, I have something to talk to you about."
"Did you not knock when you entered the girls' dormitory?" Wang Xu replied directly.
"I can't even get into that building..." The headmaster actually showed a look of confusion, and then he immediately said seriously: "Then what...don't change the subject, I have very important things to talk to You talk."
"The marijuana on the windowsill was grown by Gu Chen in the health room, and it really has nothing to do with me."
"I didn't mean to say that... but since you brought it up..."
Wang Xu interrupted him again: "I just followed him to sell some biscuits to earn some extra money after he sold marijuana to others! I didn't participate in his behavior at all! If you don't believe me, you can go upstairs and downstairs to ask , they call me 'Biscuit Guy'!" (The body produces severe hunger pangs after smoking marijuana.)
The veins on the principal's head popped up: "Okay! Stop discussing this, listen to me!"
Wang Xu closed his mouth, shrugged, and waited for the principal's instructions.
The headmaster sighed: "I checked your credits for the first year." He took out a piece of paper from his pocket: "And printed a copy."
The cold sweat on Wang Xu's forehead had already seeped out.
"I would like to ask, when did a professor 'Tokmada' appear in my school and taught a course called 'European Religious Conspiracy and Dictatorship in the Fifteenth Century' at night." The principal looked at his hand. The piece of paper in it read: "This course seems to just make up for the credits you could not get due to long absences, allowing you to successfully enter the second grade..." (Tomas de Torquemada (1420-1498), Spanish Inquisition judge, notorious in history for using torture to obtain evidence. The above is the basis for Wang Xu to fabricate the course.)
Wang Xu stiffened his neck and said, "Well... I go to see him once every Wednesday night and listen to his class. The credits are undoubtedly real and effective." My grades?"
The headmaster's face turned to one side: "I'm just doing a random check."
"If you smoke too much marijuana, you will believe your lies..." Wang Xu muttered.
"What did you say?"
"nothing."
At this moment, the principal suddenly found that Wang Xu was holding an ancient bamboo scroll in his hand, and he couldn't help asking curiously, "What is this?"
Wang Xu replied: "Oh... this, um... the research material for the thesis of the history department."
"About what?"
"Guiguzi."
"Oh..." The principal didn't think much about it, and he decided to return to the original topic: "Wang Xu, let me tell you clearly, you forged a professor and a course, and thus obtained credits. I know it well. I could have kicked you out of school or kept you out of the second grade as punishment, and all of these are reasonable and legal. But I will not take this action for the time being, because I think you are a very Talented young man, a talent to make, so I can give you a chance... "
Wang Xu said: "Thank you for the cultivation of the principal... I will definitely carry forward the spirit of Huangpu..."
"Um?"
"No, no, it should be the military soul that carries forward the flying wings..."
"What are you talking about?!"
Wang Xu said: "In short, if you are useful to me in the future, you will go up the mountain of knives and down the pan of oil..."
"All right, all right..." The more the principal listened, the more he felt that he was talking to a soldier during the Anti-Japanese War, so he simply stopped Wang Xu from continuing to talk nonsense: "Student Wang Xu, listen carefully, as a student of Xiangyi, you To be responsible for your own actions, I limit you to submit a paper next Monday, which is two days later, with the research content of 'European Religious Conspiracy and Dictatorship in the Fifteenth Century'. As long as something appears on my desk, And satisfy me, you can continue your sophomore college life, otherwise well...”
"Absolutely~~no problem!" Wang Xu took the conversation firmly.
The principal let out another breath, turned around, and walked out of the room. Before closing the door, he did not forget to leave a sentence: "Student Wang Xu, please take care of yourself."
…
So, that night, the Ghost Detective Agency.
Elbert, Qi Bing, and Wang Xu, surrounded by a laptop computer and a large pile of dusty books on the table, studied a course that Wang Xu had concocted with an expression of being constipated for three days .
Qi Bing flipped through the yellowed paper stuff, put his cheek on one hand and said, "I don't understand why you would choose to fabricate an unpopular course that you can't even find much information on the Internet."
Wang Xu sneered: "Ha! You should really look at the expression on the librarian brother's face when I went to the school library to borrow these books, like this..." He half opened his mouth, looked ahead, Acting like a dementia patient, "He just stared at me with this face for 30 seconds, and then asked me as if he suddenly remembered, 'Excuse me, which department are you a professor? I haven't seen you before. .'"
Elbert shrugged helplessly in front of the computer: "I give up, and I can't go to related foreign websites at all."
Wang Xu sneered again: "Son, don't you even know how to climb over walls?"
Elbert replied petulantly: "Hey! Never raise the wall in front of a German! I tell you, I have the DNA of a wall-climber running in my blood! But this! It's just too much! I've been to There are so many countries in the world, this is the only firewall I have ever seen, a firewall used to defend against netizens in their own country! What are they going to do next? Designate you to go to the websites they stipulate? Where am I? The Asian peninsula that only shows the same movie?"
Qi Bing answered coldly: "Be careful what you say, do you want to be wiped out by a department stronger than 'Nine Divisions'?"
Elbert spread his hands: "You mean the 'relevant department'?"
Wang Xu covered his face with his palms and said, "'Related' is not the name of a department... Just like 'Partial' is not a place name."
Elbert was surprised: "What?! Doesn't the 'local' area exist?"
Qi Bing sighed deeply: "A history student who fabricated a weird subject, and a foreign dropout with half a bucket of Chinese, very good, there is no doubt that the principal will see a masterpiece on the table in two days it's..."
…
The morning sun shone in through the blinds, making the dark circles under the eyes of these three guys look extraordinarily ferocious. They talked nonsense all night like that, and the next morning they actually produced a dissertation with a length of 5,000 words. Just as they were about to go back to their respective residences to wash and sleep, the door of the house was opened.
Mr. Cat walked in with a cucumber shit in his hand (yes, you heard that right, a cucumber covered in yellow fluid... I think that was his breakfast).
"Hey, boys, did you drive late last night?" He looked energetic.
Wang Xu said: "Yes, Mr. 'I'm very busy'." In fact, he called Mr. Cat yesterday, trying to drag him into the water, but unfortunately the other party gave him the above three words.
Master Cat picked up the paper casually: "Let me see everyone's masterpiece... um... this..." He is a person who can see everything in one eye, which is a talent, but sometimes, it is a disaster.
Albert said: "What do you think? Will the principal let Wang Xu pass?"
Master Cat took a deep breath: "Well... this thing... is longer than foot wraps, puzzling, slightly anti-gay, and at the same time, very, very explicitly, accidentally, and gratuitously critical of Israel.
Also talked about some connection between India's population density and the prevalence of Buddhism that simply doesn't exist... which reminds me that the only thing not included in this shit is an argument that will get you a pass! ! "
Qi Bing's face hit the table heavily, maybe he was unconscious, maybe not, you can understand this as a kind of strike of the body, your brain issued an instruction, the content is as follows: Losing consciousness is the last thing to do at this moment. good choice.
Master Cat put down the paper, chewed his cucumber and said, "Forget it, let me find time to write this paper for you."
Wang Xu's eyes changed, and he asked in a tone between interrogative and rhetorical questions: "Will you write for me?"
Master Cat sneered and said, "Why? Do you think I'm not capable enough? Let me tell you, if it materializes, my profound knowledge can bite your face off."
Wang Xu replied, "I mean, would you be so kind to write for me?"
Master Cat laughed three times, then sullenly said, "Of course not, I have conditions."
Wang Xu said angrily, "Say~"
Master Cat didn't say it first, he did it first, and saw this guy swish out a hatchet from his waist, and slapped it on the table, "It's about this..."