It would be a lie to say that it was all put down. But now Yang Lei is much calmer than he was a few years ago.
It is said that time will dilute everything. Although Yang Lei did not feel the panacea of time, but with age and rich experience, he learned to think and learn to precipitate. If the maturity of a man needs to be exchanged for a price, Yang Lei paid the price and returned to maturity.
He can now understand Fang Yu's choice. People live in reality, Fang Yu chose the path so that they can all return to reality. From the beginning, he was the one who took Fang Yu on this road. He said that in the future, Fang Yu would still have to go with a woman, and he couldn't let Fang Yu go. He would drag him underwater, even if both of them were suffocated. ... But now, Yang Lei has grown up. He understands that no one can live in a vacuum and only give wishful thinking and entangle with each other. It is not to love a person, but to bind the other person and impose his own needs on the other person. When people grow up, they always have to face society and reality. Yang Lei doesn't blame Fang Yu, he understands that no matter where the relationship belongs, Fang Yu will think about him. He is just that kind of person. , There is the future that Fang Yu envisioned for him. In the future, there are things that Fang Yu hopes to give him, and there is also the life that Fang Yu himself wants.
If this is Fang Yu's choice, if he wants another life, if he can be happy like that, why can't he think about Fang Yu, what right does he have to suffocate him
Yang Lei's character has really changed. He also noticed a change in himself. He even thought that if he and Fang Yu didn't meet at that age, but now, would they still have such a reckless devotion to each other.
Three years ago, he was obsessed with a "why". When he was the most painful, he thought about whether Fang Yu had ever liked him, whether that feeling was love, or what Fang Yu said was "righteousness". What Ding Wen said, "Some men can only accept this, and he doesn't know it himself. He won't know until he meets a woman he likes..." But now, after a few years of precipitation, Yang Lei is no longer entangled.
He used to have.
What Fang Yu has done to him, Yang Lei will remember it in his heart, and he will remember it for a lifetime.
Fang Mei asked him why he didn't fall in love anymore. Yang Lei felt that he was probably tired and couldn't talk anymore.
"Do you still blame him now?"
Fang Mei asked.
Yang Lei shook his head.
"I just don't understand something."
During the four years he was in the military academy, some things about Jiang Hai are still unclear to Yang Lei. He also asked some people from that year, but he couldn't ask anything more.
Maybe in the future, a few years later, when you and Fang Yu meet again by chance, the two of you can sit down and have a drink, talk, and calmly talk about the events of the year. At that time, if you ask Fang Yu again, maybe you will understand.
Fang Mei felt that Yang Lei was really mature. But this kind of maturity makes Fang Mei feel distressed.
She still prefers the former Yang Lei, the impulsive, enthusiastic, reckless boy who devoted himself wholeheartedly and moved forward bravely...
"You really think about it, don't plan to fall in love again?"
"Um."
"What about marriage?"
"have not thought."
Fang Mei seemed to confirm this answer. Fang Mei paused for a while, and Yang Lei looked at her.
"You came to see me today?"
Yang Lei felt that Fang Mei had something wrong.
"I'm here to ask you to do me a favor."
Fang Mei rarely used such a tone, and Yang Lei gave her a funny look.
"You still use the word please to me? Tell me, what's the matter?"
Fang Mei raised her eyes and looked at him.
"How about marrying me?"
Yang Lei almost spit out a sip of wine. Yang Lei looked at Fang Mei in astonishment.
"Don't get excited. Just pretend. After three months of marriage, leave."
Fang Mei said.
Fang Mei and Yang Lei were in the same year, at the age of twenty-six or seven. The man was fine, but the girl's parents were anxious. Fang Mei is also the queen of the door, everyone has a daughter, and everyone in the family has a good face. Those who came to ask for a kiss broke the threshold, but Fang Mei is an extremely individual and assertive woman. What she wants is love, freedom, not marriage.
"I'm a celibate. I've already made up my mind and don't plan to get married. Originally, it was useless for anyone to force me, but you know why I'm going back to China this time. My father's illness... "
Fang Mei stopped talking. Yang Lei also understood.
"This is his last wish. As for me, I don't want to harm others. Even if I pretend, I can't pull the backs of irrelevant people."
Fang Mei looked at Yang Lei.
"Although it's acting, you have to get a real license, and you have to do it too. After three months, if you secretly get the divorce certificate, you don't have to keep acting. When you can't hide it, I'll say we can't get through it. Let's go together. I know that your family is in a hurry to urge you, and you don't want to get married. If you want, we can help each other. But this is not authentic, and I can't hurt my friends. You can think about it! "
Yang Lei hesitated for a moment and said nothing.
"Don't worry about me, I've already passed on you now, don't be afraid that I'll rely on you! I'm not that stupid! If you want, we'll sign an agreement then, and if I'm dead then If you refuse to divorce, just follow the terms of the agreement!"
Fang Mei smiled, Yang Lei also laughed, but both of them laughed helplessly...
In life, there must be some compromises. Not for yourself, but for people who love themselves.
"I'll help you."
For a long time, Yang Lei said.
"terrific."
Fang Mei said, smiling slightly, grateful, complicated...
After agreeing to Fang Mei, the two agreed, and they would talk to the family after a while, and act as a pretense first.
After sending Fang Mei away, Yang Lei lay on the bed in the dormitory with his arms behind his head.
Fang Mei is right, it's a way to escape family pressure for those who neither of them plan to get married. Although it was only for a while, and despite his guilt towards his family, Yang Lei had already thought that he would never marry again or hurt innocent people in his life.
He promised Fang Mei, not impulsive, or even just loyalty.
He owed Fang Mei, although Fang Mei never thought so, but Yang Lei knew.
It's just that Yang Lei never thought that he would get married this day.
Yang Lei looked at the ceiling, lost in thought...
After a while, Yang Lei received Fang Mei's phone, and she had already told her family. Fang Mei's family was so happy when they heard that it was Yang Lei.
When Yang Lei told Yang Dahai, Yang Dahai was even more overjoyed.
"It's Fang Mei? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Didn't I tell you now?"
"Fang Mei's child is good, and he knows the bottom line!" Yang Lei's stepmother was also overjoyed.
Yang Lei was very close to Fang Mei in junior high school, Yang Dahai knew it, and always felt that they had fallen in love at that time. As long as the two of them continue their relationship, there is no doubt.
"Okay...Okay...!" Yang Dahai was so excited that he took out the wine and drank it that night.
That day, Yang Lei came out of the house without driving and walked aimlessly on the street. This is a path he is familiar with, but it has changed a lot for seven years. The original small shop has become a boutique street, and the original video game room has long been demolished, and now it is a mobile business hall.
Yang Lei walked to a street. The farmers' market here had been turned into a big supermarket, and the small shops along the street had been transformed. There was a KFC on the corner, and there was only one old-fashioned deli. Neighbors lining up to buy braised vegetables are still so long...
Two gangster-looking boys walked past Yang Lei, giggling.
"It's my birthday today!"
"Really? Where do you want to go?"
"Go wherever you want to go!"
"Then follow me, troubled world!"
"Walk!!"
"Ha ha!"
…
Yang Lei went up the steps and onto the platform on the second floor. On the old fence, a striking circle of "demolition" was written in red pen.
Yang Lei walked up to the eighth floor, took out the key and opened the door.
The layout of the room remains as it was in the early 1990s. Going out now, it is rare to see such furniture and arrangements. The old and bulky cassette recorder was on the table, and in the room was a box-spring bed.
Everything is still the same.
Yang Lei opened the window and lay on the bed.
He didn't turn on the lights, and the darkness reminded people of old things.
Around 2002, it was the period of Jianghai City's construction and development, where old buildings were demolished and new buildings were being rebuilt. This area has also been included in the scope of reconstruction by the district government, and it is said that demolition will be started by the end of the year.
In the future, this will be a large shopping mall. This platform, this eighth-floor house, and everything that ever happened in the house, will be pushed to rubble and buried forever.
Yang Lei has not been here for a long time. In the future, he will rarely come.
Yang Lei lay quietly, the room was the same as when they left 7 years ago. The landlord will come to see and clean after a while. She was told that everything should be put in its place.
The door of the cupboard was open, and there was a white shirt hanging inside.
Yang Lei pressed the tape recorder on the bedside table.
An old tape, turning sluggishly in the dark...
The black eyes and your smiling face,
It's hard to forget the transformation of your face.
The fluffy old days just slip away,
It's been a few years when I turn around and look back...
The vast Tianya Road is your wandering,
Seeking and looking for each other are my footsteps.
By the dark solitary pillow is your tenderness,
Waking up in the morning is my sorrow...